Poemsworld - Tumblr Posts

— from "Heart on Fire" (2023)

@alonewhisper

Does anyone actually get over their first love

. . .

or do they just learn to live in quiet despair over what is, a distant rage in their souls craving what could not be?

@alonewhisper

Did it ever occur to whatever created me that I would rather never have been a concept, let alone a person?

I would rather not have lived at all than live the way I live. Maybe it's selfish, but I don't desire to fight, to persevere, to fix or to rewire.

I just want to be.

And if I can't be, why even exist?

Why take up space?

(I guess it's true what they say, that only the good ldie young.)

don’t look

the sinking feeling in my chest informs me

that we are doomed

bright lights

smart phones

happy pills

just turn it off

i can’t

go outside

pay your bills

that pregnant girl doesn’t look older than 15

don’t look

the streets are crowded

cars rush in urgency

[it is Sunday]

i know you saw me

you

didn’t

stop

do you see anything?

look down

keep quiet

it is raining

children are dying

did you make it to that hair appointment?

there’s kids in the streets

that high school over there looks like a prison

turn it off

look at the time

did I take my pills today?

spend a hundred dollars

little girls are at Sephora

do not be late to work tomorrow

don’t look

don’t go outside

children are dying

thank you for your payment

i have to clean

i want to scream

happy pills

pay your bills

another amber alert

is it okay

to breathe?

turn it off

tax season

pregnancy announcement

gun shots

fireworks

sirens

i wonder if the moon and the stars gets scared

the cars are so loud

my pantry is empty

children are dying

just breathe

i pray for the children

i see another video of a teenager

kicked out, no place to go

was the sky always this gray?

i have bills to pay

i hope the kids are safe next week

the little girl on my screen

is scared of getting old

how can i breathe?

look down

be quiet

don’t scream

drink some water

wash your face

turn it off

i should call my mom

will she listen?

does she hear anything?

sirens

bombs, bombs, bombs

don’t forget to file your taxes

the playgrounds are empty

don’t be late to work

did you bring a phone charger?

children are dead

don’t forget to

eat

breathe

live

i have to take my pills

screens

plastic

junk mail

1,984

(unread)

i google:

help/insomnia/fast

turn it off

i didn’t take out the trash

don’t look

just take a bath

pause

(i don’t know where i am)

maybe we should be next

there’s a long line at starbucks

don’t look

little girls at sephora

pay your bills

don’t use your brain

(the dead eyes on the screen

need to be paid)

children

(dead)

we are sick

spend a hundred dollars

i am thirsty

i go outside

it is so quiet

(how was your weekend?

there’s this new diet. . .

congratulations on the new house!

ma’am, my coffee is too cold)

my head is spinning

don’t look

stay quiet

eat something

go outside

bright lights

advertisements

take.

your.

pills.

WE ARE DYING

do you hear the sirens?

Maybe it’s cause I’m not pretty

like them

I wear crooked glasses and bitten nails

My hair brown like deep ground soil

and pieces of shit

My lips — chapped

my cheeks red as wine

Maybe that’s what makeup’s for —

to hide the shadow of my youth

I’m not smart like them

No business-casual outfits

or office-whore heels

My posture twisted

my words not clever, like theirs

They’re charming and brilliant —

briefcases and lipstick

When I wear lipstick

I just look like a whore

They sip pricey liquor —

chatting about life

while I light a cigarette

wishing I wasn’t alive

They speak beautiful art and I

paint sweat and filth with my words

I’m not meaningful like them

They find solace in jazz bars

and I in vodka shots

They carry libraries in their heads

I carry burdens — excuses galore

I am a grain of sand

next to cream-colored seashells

with delicate patterns

tracing their light like tattoos

on crisp paper skin

I’m nothing like them

but at least I still think with my own head

@alonewhisper

The words I ached to tell you

enveloped in the tight grip of secrecy

a fervent, reckless truth — bound

to the obvious and the unknown

~

The words throbbed — in silence

how much longer ‘till they burst

from their shielded safe

behind the burden of my age

Burdens (original poem)

@alonewhisper

The most convincing sign that someone genuinely cares for you, is that they seek to understand you.

is love SUPPOSED to feel like this?

am i supposed to think of the way

your knife twisted in my chest

clogging my bloodstream

the iron in your love building in my eyes

the water you promised to give my flowers

rolling down my cheeks.

is love supposed to feel like this?

am i supposed to think of the way

my bed feels empty without you

sheets wrapping around my throat

chaining me

a mock of your embrace.

is love supposed to feel like this?

you come near me

my lungs run dry

you go away from me

the little thing that beats for you

just.

stops.

is love supposed to feel like this?

like sorrow given form

like every rose petal bleeding with our lost embraces

like every gentle breeze teasing me of you

wherever there is love,

there is grief.

and what is the greater grief

than to be here,

alone,

when you're not?

i have always been rather disconnected

from the world

from you

i either don't feel

or feel too much

i don't know which is better.

i feel strange breathing

i feel ethereal

i feel like a shooting star

bright, but not for long.

and so, so far away

i feel distant from you

from myself

i have difficulty pumping blood in my veins

my heart pains every time it beats

it hurts.

i can't feel it anymore.

my lungs are full of debris

it pains to breathe

i might just stop.

but it doesn't hurt as much as it used to,

is it because of you?

i like to think so.

and i know you like to think so too.

you think i am disconnected now

I have always been

i have just stopped pretending now.

Starry Night.

As I stand in the moonlight tonight I can feel your heartbeat miles away Tittering on a will they or won't they theory The light of a thousand stars light up the sky Center stage is where you're at Dancing in my mind I meet you at midnight We dance until the moon meets the sun once again Not wanting to leave you I awake from my dream Laying in the midst of dawn's umber light I try to fall back asleep Hoping for another night where we dance Underneath the starry night

-E.S.

Tuesday, May. 2nd / 2023 6:47 p.m.

@sunkissed-summerdaze

I loved you long before

I knew the color of your eyes

How your lips curve into a smile

How your heart beat rhymes with mine

So when you asked me to gamble with time

Oh I followed blindly

Walked with you

Without thinking twice

//

For your voice roared

Over the hubbub

In my head

Like a song

Taking me home

A resonating echo

In my dreams

Oh you called

I heard you every time

Whispering promises

More intoxicating

Than wine

//

But somehow everything felt unreal

Like the man that you are is just a work of fiction

Making me believe in false prophecies

As I leaned against rapidly collapsing walls

Cringed from the coldness that crawls

On my skin

Reminding me of every sin

We ever committed in the name of selfish whims

//

How we braved the storms

Expunged all uncertainties tangling

Our straight path

Like we knew where we're heading

Perhaps it was love

That kept us going

We didn't care if it lasts

Or if it costs us so much

More than we can afford

A golden penny or a drop of blood

We gambled every dream

We ever caught

Coupled with the hopes

We bottled

//

Our impetousity took us farther

Than everything we have put into plan

Threaded desert of snow

Swam oceans of unknowable sorrow

Fear has crept in me one of those moments

But when I looked at you

I defied gravity

Floated in cloud nine

Suddenly

There's no doubt in my mind

That we can make it

That we will make it

//

But did we?

Did we make it?

We could have made it

If you held tighter

I got you

But you chose to let go

Of everything

We ever built

I held on to you

To every word

You ever said

I honestly believed

You wanted me with you too

That you won't cast me out

After letting me get used

To your presence

To your warmth

But what have you done?

Of all the things

You could have done

You broke me

Like I mean nothing to you

//

I mean nothing to you! Nothing!

-Nothing,

Katie, 19:45

Your Broken Angel

My wings get broken too;

I can’t fly.

But I wanna be there

To hold you when you cry;

Drink your tears;

Wipe them dry.

Until I wither away;

A disintegrating shadow.

In the labyrinth I hear the echo

Of your screams.

So I’m here

Always, your broken angel.

-Stormykatie

I catch the first drop of rain on my palm and imagine how much you waited for it. You told me you wanna fall in love before the first rain of November. It's been raining for weeks now, my love. And every drop reminds me of the reasons why you had to wait for this season, to fall in love. And though I exhaust my wit trying to get the wisdom behind it, I don't understand. I can't understand. Why did you wait? And why did the rain come too late? Too late for you to feel it glide on your face. Too late for you to catch it on your palm. You know, sometimes I try to question Cupid. Why? Why you? Why me? Why in the universe did we have to wait? If he has a conscience, why did he allow us to wait this long? Now you're gone and the sky just won't stop raining. And I still don't get it. My world may be flooded soon and I will still be here trying to unravel the wisdom behind the course of waiting you chose to thread when you could have just fallen in love with me. I wish I could have just ignored your "first rain fantasy" and fell in love with you while I had the chance.

-Waited for the first rain to fall in love

Katie, 24:30

Like the snow,

The rain,

And the shooting stars,

You will fall for me

Deeply

Irrevocably

Mark my words

-Destined to fall

(Mark my words)

-Katie, 15:30

Image: Pinterest

First of all, I would like to say I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that I'm running away again. I'm running away like I'm ruthlessly slapped by the hand of rationality. Yes, you're sweet and romantic but I deserve so much more than the illusion you're trying to paint in my head with words I've grown accustomed to. Such sweet words that do not possess a life of their own, bereft of the possibility of future realization. Somehow, they're just fragments of a promise, a hushed sound of uncertainty but were nevertheless uttered to feed the speaker's fancy. I'm yet to fall into such a romantic machination coming with the love bug crawling over my blanket. You have the audacity to say you love me but that's all. I've been waiting for the things that you will do to make me feel that that love is real and you're feeling it with every breath that you take.

Love, love isn't just words you can say. It isn't just something I can believe in a dazed mind. It's so much more. It's a commitment that binds people for eternity. A sacred vow to hold two hearts together. It's not a game ought to be played. Not a fire that can easily be extinguished by tanks of water. It's not pupils dilating or tongues sprinkled with deathly dose of fructose, or a vision of the moon getting bigger in a glance. It's a chance, a one in a million chance. A risk someone has to take willingly for no reason at all. And ours are just words you managed to weave to fill the vast spaces between us. Words I can't simply take for they lack justification. And words without justification are merely claims, pieces of alleged information that lack merit. You're sweet and gentle and kind. But deadly. Deadly because you make me wanna fall without any assurance as to where I stand in your life. What am I to you to begin with? Just a girl you can show to everyone like a trophy? Someone who walks and sits beside you so you won't be alone in a crowd? You haven't defined the role I am playing. But I am playing it anyhow, though I am always scared of breaking my heart yet again. So before this gets deeper, I have to run away.

I'm sorry.

-Undefined,

Katie, 21:00

His shattered dreams

With her broken pieces

Millions of scattered wishes

Wrapped with shower of kisses

Binding them whole

Gliding like a dew

Along the hollow corridors

Of time

And space

Their footsteps as they pace

A resounding rhyme

Two souls entwined

A mesmerizing chime

-Souls entwined,

Katie, 20:00

I call myself a writer but all I've ever written were elegies for the love I used to feel for you but died tragically. It died tragically after you left me with open wounds that won't mend; bruised me with words way too abusive, they make me shake uncontrollably even now. And your memory, the face that resembles the moon, it haunts me. It haunts me that I run away from the crowd like I'm losing my mind. The cacophony gets louder and your voice, I hear it over the hubbub swallowing me. You call me like you still own all of me. Oh I confess, you still do my darling, you still do. Though I claim that my love has died a long time ago, it throbs with the heart you occupied.You scarred my skin with your name so I will remember you for eternity. And I will surely remember you. For you gave me so much to remember.

I know you're gone. But my pen just can't stop writing about you. So I write another piece...another cold work of art. For the twenty seventh time, here's to the love I want to shower you with but has to die because you left before I can even offer my heart to you. Now here I am, staring at a blank space that used to be our home.

Oh darling, why does love have to be so cold?

-For all the things that refuse to die,

Katie, 20:00

There’s beauty

Concealed in her lashes

That even when she crashes

She looks divine

A nymph in a dream

So perfect she seems

A fragment of a wish

A mark from a kiss

A warmth taking its niche

Into steely hearts

Though she was never welcomed

She knocks in hope

All she craves is wholeness

An opportunity to rebuild

Her beautiful bleeding pieces

Scattered on the floor

A time to heal

Gaping wounds she fears

Might bleed for eternity

And leave her dry

For the longest time

She wore them with pride

Valor creeps in her eyes

As she screams again

In pain

That never wavered her faith

No matter how hard it gnaws

Against her scarred skin!

-Beautiful bleeding pieces,

Katie:11:00

From the notebook- Cold

This room was always cold, a bitter biting cold like the sting of all the ice tipped words you aim at me.

Today is an unseasonably cold day, halting long awaited weeks of sunshine

Just like the realization that I was the problem.

That we could have been something if I didn't mess everything up

That you tried, that I scared you away, that I ruined everything, that I was so crazy I chased you away from even friendship.

Now you are done and all done with me and this piece of your life, now I am a joke, the creepy weird girl from last year,

a relic memory you dust off to poke fun at with your friends

I am now trapped in an ice palace of regret.

Is this cold I feel just the room temperature?

Or is it my icicle ridden heart?

♥*♡∞:｡.｡ thx for reading!!｡.｡:∞♡*♥ tell me what u think in the comments!!