Second Choice - Tumblr Posts

I'm so sick of having a friend who makes me feel like I'm always the second choice. They claim that they love me and our mutual friend equally, but it's clear they prefer the other friend. :(

I feel like you two would have better fun without me

Again

Asking me to join you had any purpose?

Except from making me feel like a burden

No ?

Why I am not surprised?

Tell me

Why it doesn't surprise me anymore?

Oh wait

I know

Because it's not the first time you treat me like that !

I was the second option now and ever

I know

So please stop being nice to me if you don't actually mean it

seeing them with someone else, finally getting the truth by that but... it's a feeling that can't be explained. It goes deep. You feel everything at once. Brutal heartache.

“My parents always say I should do this and that with my friends, it would be fun... If only they knew. I'm the last person to talk, the one who always listens, not someone most people listen to, the shy one that barely talks. No one gives me a chance. They all have someone else to talk to anyways. So I'm just there trying to get into conversations. But when I do talk... no one hears or cares.”

—authorinred

i'm pretty clever

i know what to do

i know what i want to do

i can differentiate which one is the poison and the honey

i have a pretty face too

laced up with honey like voice

and i know which lipstick shade that looks the best on me

my confidence is on a good pedestal too

at certain times i'll get praised for something that i don't pay attention to

and sometimes people say that my interests are cute enough for me

i think i'm good at pleasing people

i don't dream about romance

maybe i was too busy getting dolled up

or maybe i was too busy moving from one heart to another

no one wants me for i am

no one sees me as their first choice

it's always meaningless competition for me

a competition that someone signed me up for without my consent

why do i need to compromise?

why do i need to see you only on weekends?

why do you call me only when you're intoxicated but still miss me enough?

the cold side of your bed is where i belong

i can only fill this place temporarily

it feels so lonely

maybe i skipped some psychosexual stages to be built like this

i feel completely sane in this agony

hopelessly waiting for someone to pick me up,

to shelter me

i'm just one call away

but i'm afraid that your lover will find out about us sooner if you don't delete the chat history.

Für jeden gab es immer jemanden, der besser, schöner, wichtiger war, als ich.

I don't know if this makes me toxic but after Francis slept with Lola literally root for everyone but him

watching s2 of reign has reminded me how much I adore louis conde. francis can kick rocks.

Tw: mention of sh

How is it possible that I am always the second choice?

How? I made one new friend, one, on this whole fucking camp and my best friend, who has made friends with almost everyone here, is now his first choice?

I tried so hard, I got so far, I even fu king made a friend and now that he spends 2 hours with my best friend and me together, he choose him.

I know I'm not enough, but, I thought I could spend some more time with him before he left too.

Why doesn't anyone stay? Am I really this bad of a person? Am I really that unlovable? I just wanted a friend.

Now I have noone, noone, and he has everyone again. Why am I always looking everything to him?

I don't want to relapse again. I don't want to, really. I should be happy for them, but I just can't be. It's do hard not to cut.

All I can think about is the relive that comes when I see the blood pour out and the pain in my body overwriting the pain in my mind.

I just want to cut, just a tiny bit, just enough to pull myself together again. Please? Just to feel something else. Just to forget.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, I need to, please help, fuck, please?

I can't do this anymore. I just want a little comfort, just something to ground me, please?