I Feel Awful - Tumblr Posts
sometimes i wish i had someone who could be as infatuated with me as i am with them except i manipulate them into loving me more and i can use them like a toy (i just want to have control. i don’t want to be the one being treated badly.)
I’m horrible.
So I’m playing animal crossing: new horizons and an ugly villager moves into my town. So I’m tryn’a get this guy to leave; telling Isabelle about em, ye old fence around the house. So I try to make them mad by hitting them with my net(mind you I’ve never done this and didn’t know what would happen). So I do it and instead of getting mad, My villager gets SAD. Now I feel like an absolute monster and feel the need to give this nasty looking fake rabbit the world as penance for my sins.
So i send him about one video about an inside out drawing and he says that and i replied “theres delulu,depression,and horny” and he replied “try once draw them” (sorry my first language is not English)
So i did draw them because i aint no pussy
Okay, so im super bored and I'm super sick. . . . Which makes me even more bored. So people can send requests in for the day! Here's a list of some stuff I'll do:
TADC both canon and au
Sona's mafia and regular
People interacting with my sona and mafia sona
Little objects/living things like plushies, pets, etc
Idk what to add just ask/request anything that isn't NSFW or super duper complex
Thx, please help, oki, bye bye
i love my boyfriend to absolute pieces he is the light in my life and i don’t know what i’d do without him. and he’s leaving to go back to his home town in a few days. so he’s staying the night at my flat, but i have had to move to the couch upstairs because he’s breathing so loud and he’s snoring and he’s a little sick which is making it all so so much worse. and i feel so awful because i want to be around him, but there’s only so many hours i can sleep with my fingers jammed into my ears, or clawing and my skin. it’s sad.
Please get me away from my own mind. Please please. I'm so scared
yeah, sometimes they may see me as being cold, but in reality I'm just unspeakably sad, hurt and dealing with feelings...
and honestly, why should I say it, when they either judge or don't take me seriously and just saying "it's all in your head, snap out of it" like my feelings wouldn't be valid and with that, pushing me more into this state?
they never acknowledge or notice that.
No wonder why I always feel like I constantly have to protect myself and shut myself down. It's so damn exhausting.
ever had a conversation with people who tells a story about someone who have gone through almost the same situation as you were and they feel sorry for them, but they never showed compassion for you experiencing the same thing? How's that work? Do I don't matter that much and my feeling are invalid?
ever saw something that was a literal shot to your heart and cut deeper than ever, that constantly haunts you since that day and just can't shake it off/forget even if it happened several months ago, because it keeps creeping back or is it just me?
every time I accidentally catch them, they look so much happier around them and while talking to them..
and I just can't even watch it, because it makes my heart sink every single time. It feels awful to see that the person they talking with getting everything I have been begging for without them having to ask for it...
lunch break, everyone is sitting at the same table and you're the only one sitting alone. I mean, I wouldn't sit to them, but it would have felt good if they would have offer it rather then ignoring me...
never felt so alone...
I ain't gonna tell people anything anymore. I can sense when I try to share things about my past or what hurts/bothers me they start to act weird. Like why are they immediately count it as if "you're just trying to make them feel sorry for you" or something like that? Look, I just want you to know why I am the way I am and how do I feel. Why is it so wrong to wanting to open up? Why do they have to make it feel like you're doing a crime with that? Like, yes I have emotions. I don't share stuff like that to, just anyone anyway
yeah, sometimes I make mistakes, but they don't even recognise how badly I'm trying and trying to keep everything together in the meanwhile. I'm deeply sorry when I lose my track and screw up, but you shouldn't treat me like I'm the worst person, because of that and that I will always screw up...
sometimes I'm having this feeling like they were just waiting for me to leave...
it's so humiliating when you gave so much from yourself, gave them endless chances, basically tried to understand why they have been treating you like shit, because your feelings were actually real and truly loved them unconditionally just it to end abruptly, because you finally found out what they have been doing behind your back the whole time...and the worst is that you was the one who HAD TO end it, because they gave you no other choice, because it could have been the same hamster wheel and you would have ended up even more broken than now..
And the feeling that they acted like they liked you, loved you and wanted to be with you when in reality they had no intention to do so is horrible. It makes you question EVERYTHING.
it's so heartbreaking to see that they became cold towards you, they have fun without you and you just sit there and have to watch them while feeling awful and left out, unwanted, abandoned. And they don't even care about your existence anymore...they replaced you...
seeing them with someone else, finally getting the truth by that but... it's a feeling that can't be explained. It goes deep. You feel everything at once. Brutal heartache.
kinda feels like I'm only there in people's lives to fill the void when their people is not there...
when you opened up for them even though you were terrified to do so and you finally believed someone actually likes you this time just to hear they moved on like you meant nothing while you were suffering in silence alone. And hearing from THEM hurts even more. Not sure they said in front of me to finally give me some clarity or just to hurt me one last time tho...