Skeleton War 2022 - Tumblr Posts
though frankly why are we fighting the wizards they're just doing they're thing
HOW DO I JOIN THE SKELETON WAR
A QUESTION MANY ARE PONDERING IN MY INBOX
WELL FEAR NOT MY CHAOTIC COMPATRIOTS, I SHALL SHED CLARITY ON THE PROCESS WITH MY MIRROR SHIELD
JOIN FORCES WITH THE WIZARDS HERE. REBLOG THE POST TO SHOW YOUR VIGOR AND SUPPORT. COMMENT IN THE POST TO DECLARE YOUR INBOX IS OPEN FOR INVASION. HERE IS YOUR SPELL BOOK, BUT FEEL FREE TO MANIFEST YOUR OWN SPELLS
JOIN FORCES WITH THE SUPERIOR SKELETON LEGION. REBLOG THE POST TO INVOKE FEAR INTO OUR ENEMIES. COMMENT IN THE POST ABOUT THE EXCEPTIONAL MIGHT OF YOUR INBOX. WE MAY NOT HAVE SPELLS BUT WE HAVE COOL ENCHANTED WEAPONS.
IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO PARTICIPATE, USE ANY DOG EMOJI YOU HAVE 🐺🐶🐕🦺🐩🐕(EEEK) AND PUT IT SOMEWHERE VISIBLE ON YOUR ACCOUNT (NOT IN YOUR USERNAME, CHANGING YOUR USERNAME LEAVES THE OLD ONE OPEN FOR SOMETHING, THE DREADED LIFELESS PORN BOTS, TO TAKE)
also if i can be real for a sec, this isn't a "drive the wizards off the site" kind of war. this is a game on the playground at recess. this is calvin ball where you make it up as you go. this is simple, no-stakes, fuckery.
we want to encourage people to used blazed posts to not only build reinforcements for wizards and skeletons, but to also to support tumblr and the dev team to keep up their endearing nonsense. we can't do that by bullying and driving people off the site.
tumblr may be cringe, but its our cringe.
ALRIGHT? NOW LETS GET GOIN!
I cast potato blast!
My Armour! Potatoes break out of my rib cage causing my armour to explode with potato mush.
That was a family heirloom! You will pay.
I charge at you with my sword which has now turned into a potato masher.
I am not a wizard nor am I a skeleton (yet). What I am is a humble peasant farmer, but what I seek is to record the wizard and skeleton war of 2022 for the generation after us. Many will oppose this action. No one will stop it. Daily updates on the war will begin tomorrow and I will start forming a timeline to be posted after it has ended. Both sides are welcome to bring information, but not weapons to my home. (Milk for skeletons, soup for wizards (I am not rich enough for spaghetti))
Greetings! I am a wizard, and I'd like to fill you in on what I personally have been doing! As it stands I have developed several new BONK spells, I've even been doing some cooperation with other wizards! Who I will not name so as to make sure they don't get in potential trouble with the Wizard Council.
Thank you for the information and stopping by! Take some soup for you and your colleagues on your way out, it's the least I can do. No need to return the bowls or spoons.
Hello there great historian! I am but a humble wizard with a few of my favorite spells to share with you. I am fond of banjo wizard and wizard jam, as they turn the horrid dooting of skeletons into a lovely tune. I also enjoy using summon bear and wizard horse in battle. There seems to be no better ally than our furry furious friends. Continue with your great work farmer historian, and i wish you well!
Thank you for dropping in even if not to share news with me of the war that rages on outside. I am hopeful that much of this will come to a peaceful end one way or another, so few merchants come by with stories or wares and provisions that I find myself in need of a few things. But with that I wish you a good and safe day. Here is some dried salted meat for you, hope it's not oversalted.
A great caw can be heard over head.
A letter flitters down
11/21/2022 The First News Letter
Wizard Wonderwyrm turns to rubber to defend against attacks
A skeleton and wizard fight, this turns into a game of tennis with a skeleton head for the wiffle ball, the head's feelings are unknown about this development.
Wizard council approved blunt force with magical staffs as a "spell", local non-magi question whether or not the council knows the meaning of the term spells.
Wizard gets outsmarted by a skeleton who left an explosive skeleton head in a gift wrapped box
Peasants question what the "Wizard Council" is. Some feel unsafe knowing these folk may be working in high positions of power such as tax collector and other government positions.
The peasants of the kingdom ask; what set off this war, how long has it been fought, and when we might see an end.
The Academia and the High Council fight over whether or not archeology digs for information on the war should be legal or if it goes against the laws of the kingdom.
Greetings! If you haven’t heard, the Wizard Council has voted to dissolve Quebec. This will certainly leave countless innocents dead. A tragedy.
As you cannot afford spaghetti, I have acquired quite a lot of it for you. *miniature skeletal warriors carry in a bit too much spaghetti*
Thank you for your service in recording an unbiased history of the war.
Best regards,
A vaguely humanoid skeleton in a weird-looking cape
It is a shame to hear what is happening to Quebec. My father's family was from there, may my gran-gran rest in peace. And thank you for the spaghetti. I shall use it sparingly. Which milk would you like chocolate or strawberry?
A great caw can be heard over head.
A letter flitters down
22/11/2022 Quebec to Dissolve
The Wizard Council votes to dissolve Quebec. News is being taken to the High Council to see if this brings war between the Wizards and non-magi as Canada is one of our allies.
Local peasant folk left in puzzlement after seeing a wizard and skeleton in a Tom and Jerry-esque chase throughout the city. City puts bans on "ridiculously large" hammers
New sub-types of wizards that specialize in different magics from mushrooms to bugs, what is next?
Skeleton blames Wizards for missing bone.
Skeletons found robbing graves causes increased officer presence and a curfew to be set for residents of the city.
Wizard finds spell that imbues milk with more calcium.
A skeleton and wizard found to be having a "rap off" or as a flee skeleton said "a battle of words and wit and mother's taking a hit."
Town folks question for skeletons; if they were human, do they still have their memories?
A crow caws over head.
23/11/2022 "Nude" skeletons
Wizard makes actual quicksand that portal to the "shadow realm". Is it a potential weapon against the skeletons?
Skeletons start tasteful "nude" propaganda photos featuring wizard hats to incentivize their troops to steal wizard hats.
Wizard throws dozens of eggs at a skeleton. These seem to be the ones missing from the market.
The High Council assures citizens of Maialka that we will not be joining the war yet, as Canada's memory of Quebec's existence has been wiped.
Non-magi wonder if skeletons or wizards are the bigger threat, though neither side has killed as many as the current plague.
A caw can be heard over head.
24/11/2022 Turkey day.
Seemingly both skeletons and wizards alike celebrate turkey day as well as it has been a slow day.
Wizard implies skeletons are dead wizards, if true does this mean this is a civil war?
More and more skeletons looking less and less human. Skeleton species and what you need to know about them.
Happy turkey day and have some gravy
hello kindred farmer! i heard you seek information, may i interest you in the story of some of my skeletal battles?
Please! I love long tales. If you need it you may sleep here tonight. We have a fireplace for warmth and stew. I have a spare room for guests.
Dear wizards,
Please explain this relic I found
Thank you,
The Skeleton War News
There is a caw heard from the skies
11/28/2022 News returns
Wizards come from eggs.
Skeletons eat cardboard wizard for a snack on the go.
Wizard helps a skeleton color their armor. Be on the lookout for a rainbow skeleton.
Wizards apparently have a draft. Are women a part of this?
SKELETOM WOR NYEHEHEHEHEHEH
I JOIN THE SKELETON WAR ON THE SIDE OF THE SKELETONS
NYEEEHEHEHEHEHE
LINK TO SKELETON WAR GUIDELINES
LINK TO WIZARD SIGN UP (INFERIOR)
LINK TO A COOL DOG
HOW TO PARTICIPATE
1: IF YOU WANT WIZARDS TO ATTACK YOU, COMMENT ON THIS POST ABOUT HOW THEY'RE WEENIES
2: GO OVER TO THE WIZARD SIGN UP POST, INVADE THE INBOXES OF ANYONE WHO FOOLISHLY COMMENTS, AND SPOOK THEM WITH A "DOOT DOOT"
3: POST ABOUT THE SKELETON WAR AND USE TAGS #skeleton war #skeleton war 2022 AND ALSO #wizardposting #wizard council IF YOU WANT TO CAUSE CHAOS
4: (OPTIONAL) BLAZE ONE OF YOUR SKELETON WAR POSTS TO ATTRACT MORE RECRUITS. IT IS IMPORTANT THAT YOU LINK TO THE GUIDELINES IN YOUR BLAZED POSTS
oh no
ohno im a skelyboi now
https://www.tumblr.com/chipper-skeleton/700363501740457984/guidelines-for?source=share
HOW DO I JOIN THE SKELETON WAR
A QUESTION MANY ARE PONDERING IN MY INBOX
WELL FEAR NOT MY CHAOTIC COMPATRIOTS, I SHALL SHED CLARITY ON THE PROCESS WITH MY MIRROR SHIELD
JOIN FORCES WITH THE WIZARDS HERE. REBLOG THE POST TO SHOW YOUR VIGOR AND SUPPORT. COMMENT IN THE POST TO DECLARE YOUR INBOX IS OPEN FOR INVASION. HERE IS YOUR SPELL BOOK, BUT FEEL FREE TO MANIFEST YOUR OWN SPELLS
JOIN FORCES WITH THE SUPERIOR SKELETON LEGION. REBLOG THE POST TO INVOKE FEAR INTO OUR ENEMIES. COMMENT IN THE POST ABOUT THE EXCEPTIONAL MIGHT OF YOUR INBOX. WE MAY NOT HAVE SPELLS BUT WE HAVE COOL ENCHANTED WEAPONS.
IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO PARTICIPATE, USE ANY DOG EMOJI YOU HAVE 🐺🐶🐕🦺🐩🐕(EEEK) AND PUT IT SOMEWHERE VISIBLE ON YOUR ACCOUNT (NOT IN YOUR USERNAME, CHANGING YOUR USERNAME LEAVES THE OLD ONE OPEN FOR SOMETHING, THE DREADED LIFELESS PORN BOTS, TO TAKE)
also if i can be real for a sec, this isn't a "drive the wizards off the site" kind of war. this is a game on the playground at recess. this is calvin ball where you make it up as you go. this is simple, no-stakes, fuckery.
we want to encourage people to used blazed posts to not only build reinforcements for wizards and skeletons, but to also to support tumblr and the dev team to keep up their endearing nonsense. we can't do that by bullying and driving people off the site.
tumblr may be cringe, but its our cringe.
ALRIGHT? NOW LETS GET GOIN!
I JOIN THE SKELETON WAR ON THE SIDE OF THE WIZARDS
NYOHOHOHOHOHO~✨
LINK TO SKELETON WAR GUIDELINES
LINK TO SKELETON SIGN UP (HARRUMPH)
LINK TO OUR SPELL BOOK
LINK TO A COOL DOG
HOW TO PARTICIPATE
1: IF YOU WANT SKELETONS TO ATTACK YOU, COMMENT ON THIS POST ABOUT HOW BLAND AND DULL THEIR ARMOR LOOKS
2: GO OVER TO THE SKELETON SIGN UP POST, INVADE THE INBOXES OF ANYONE WHO MINDLESSLY COMMENTS, AND CAST A SPELL ON THEM (YOU SHOULD USE SPELL SUMMON BEAR)
3: POST ABOUT THE SKELETON WAR AND USE TAGS #skeleton war #skeleton war 2022 AND ALSO #wizardposting #wizard council
4: (OPTIONAL) BLAZE ONE OF YOUR SKELETON WAR POSTS TO ATTRACT MORE RECRUITS. IT IS IMPORTANT THAT YOU LINK TO THE GUIDELINES IN YOUR BLAZED POSTS
Okay, actually maybe I dont eant to participate in skeleton war.
Ah I see we're finally getting supplies that aren't handcrafted
Nice.
GET YOUR SKELETON WAR SUPPLIES HERE
WIZARDS GO AWAY
-DEALS 20 SPOOKY DAMAGE AND 30 KABOOM DAMAGE
-HAS A 10% CHANCE TO RICOCHET AND HIT YOU IN THE FACE :(
-A CLASSIC, SIMPLY THROW AT THE TARGET AND HOPE THEY DON'T CAST FIREBALL
-DEALS 10 SPOOKY DAMAGE AND 15 BÖNK DAMAGE
-EASY FOR BEGINNERS TO WIELD, SIMPLY WACK THE TARGET
NEW
-POWERFUL MINION TO AID IN YOUR BATTLES
-IS PRONE TO DISOBEDIENCE WHEN IN PROXIMITY WITH OTHER FURBYS
-DO NOT LET IT NEAR YOUR HEAD I REPEAT DO NOT LET IT NEAR YOUR HEAD
MORE WARES COMING SOON