Brad Never Followed Up With His Boyfriend Chris To Clarify Who The Men Were. As Everyone Else, He Left

Brad never followed up with his boyfriend Chris to clarify who the men were. As everyone else, he left the framed photo on the bedroom dresser to fester with the rest of the pics of sorted family members, needy exes, and unaccounted male friends apparently all named Bruno.

Who can say…

Brad text the photo of him in full costume over to his agent. Was the wardrobe 20th century ironic overkill or post-post-post modern Madonna blatancy?!

For Brad to really WERQ this Dollar Store photo shoot, he needed to know the backstory behind the costume and it’s designer, as well a passable fabricated construct of the social media campaign.

Who was the creator? What drove he/her/them? Influenced he/her/them? Inspired he/her/them? Made he/her/them who they are?

After wondering briefly if he left out too many pronouns, Brad then text the words “storytelling” “impact” and “authenticity” exactly five seconds apart. While he found intention rarely mattered in life, he knew buzz words always got you places.

Sooooo… Where was that exactly?

Brad would learn from AI that afternoon it was a public pool in the Valley about 20 min from Kim K's mansion in regular heavy traffic.

Five minutes later, his agent would call to commend him for 'the richness in texture of his texts.' Apparently, contrast was everything when it came to... well, everything.

Wowsers! Being all over the place was finally paying off.

Brad would gleefully repeat the phrase ‘texture of texts’ until just before dinner when his boyfriend Chris told him to ‘cut it out’ Full House style. Brad had just enough time to research the gesture on the internet before sitting down but couldn't decipher if it was offensive until he pushed his kale salad around the plate long enough to feel full himself. Then it just clicked.

Brad’s ‘gay uncle’ Rod Harden cast him in his first film role as Beverly the Beverage Boy in the NC-17 flick Palm Springs Resort Ruckus.

Becky predicted a short-lived modeling career for Brad and Chris' neighbor, Luke.

It’s my fashion face. Why?

Is it weird?

Please tell me if it’s weird.

Just The Fashion Tip: Pride Edition.

Flame to put out.

Brad and Chris’ neighbor Luke made it big when he coined the term ‘mankini’ on National Bartender’s Day.

It was somewhat fitting given his dad invented the rear windshield wiper on St Patricks Day. Until his father’s stroke of luck, Luke drew lines on his socks with marker after every third wash.