The World Is Moving So Fast, I Wish I Could Just Sleep For A While.

The world is moving so fast, I wish I could just sleep for a while.

Preferably in his arms. Safe and protected. Just taking a break from the world for a few days.

My body feels so heavy and my mind is drowning in thoughts. I just want some peace, even for just a few minutes.

I'm ashamed. I feel so guilty. I am so gross. I don't know. I don't know why I am like this...

Trying not to cry because I really like how my makeup turned out today

Tw: ed

Smoking and crying and trying not to throw up the musli bar I just ate

Thinking about this one guy on summer camp which made me feel right.

He would sing to me. He would hold me when I was to drunk to walk. He would stargaze with me. He would go on midnight swims with me. He would build little gobling houses out of stickes and stones and moss with me. He would hold and cuddle me for hours.

He was everything.

He made me feel like I didn't have to pretend.

He showed me unconditional kindness. I asked him how and why and he hugged me and explained that I deserved it.

I miss him. I'd really like to be in his arms and have him sing to me right now.

I want attention. Any kind of attention.

I don't care how bad I will feel after, but now I need someone to make me feel loveable in any kind of way.

And if I am only used for money, my body or to vent to me. It would be better than this.

I have to keep myself distracted.