Uninstalled. Not Ready.

Uninstalled. Not ready.

I’ve just impulsively installed Tinder. Someone talk me out of this.

To be fair, she opened the door for this conversation...

I'm currently calling out that woman I was doing a thing with in May for hurting me.

Who the fuck am I and what have I done with me?!

I bet she was asking for it.

I mean, you can totally tell it's what she actually wanted. Her mouth was saying no, but the bruises on her skin where he grabbed her and held her against her will were saying yes.

Seriously @staff - why do i have to keep doing this?

I am a survivor of domestic violence. I am a survivor of sexual violence. I have said " let go of me" and been ignored. Stop showing me abuse and calling it sexy.

Just a cute little diddy that doesn’t speak to me at all.

/sarcasm

I really miss sharing body heat.

This is a boring post. You've been warned.

I think I've decided not to pursue a romantic relationship with the girl I was considering recently.

I like her as a person and i would (genuinely) like to be her friend. I am having dinner with her and two mutual friends this week, and I'm looking forward to it .

I just.... Really need a more confident partner. Someone more sure of themselves. Someone who can give me assurance and encouragement when I'm trying to be brave. I feel like between the two of us, I am the bolder one, and that does not give me confidence is a good 'us.'

Let's be honest, I can fake it pretty decent, and the genuine stuff does come sporadically, but I can't maintain confidence sufficiently for myself let alone for two of us.

We didn't even get far enough for us to have to have conversation about 'not pursuing'. We were leagues away from that. I don't know how that could possibly feel more awkward than if we were both more invested. But I'm feeling weird about it.

Anyways - being choosy about my other half and identifying ' must have' qualities is progress enough for tonight.