If I Had Mono Now, My Woman Would Make Me Tea And Soup, And Watch Movies With Me In Bed. Shed Tell Me

If I had mono now, my woman would make me tea and soup, and watch movies with me in bed.  She’d tell me not to get up, that I need my rest, and help me take little walks when I started going stir crazy.

Your partner should be kind to you, and want you to be healthy and comfortable.  Don’t let your brain tell you otherwise. 

You deserve kindness, I promise.

Being sick is an Excuse:  Episode 3

I had mono about 9 years ago.  I was awake for 4ish hours a day, and just could not function for the rest.  He could have threatened me with a knife and I wouldn’t have woken up or moved.

I spent my 4 hours of consciousness taking care of him while he sat on his computer and played video games.  Cooked his dinner and lunches (I couldn’t swallow without immense pain, so I don’t think I ate?), did laundry, washed dishes, cleaned the bathroom, and then passed out.

Most people would help/comfort their partner.  Him? 

“Well if you’re going to be allowed to slack so much, you need to make up for it.”

Missed Milestones

It may be a sign that I’m making progress, but I missed remembering some important milestones this year:

It’s been 210 weeks since I spoke my last words to him (that’s 4 full years and 2 weeks if you don’t want to count).

It’s been 314 weeks (6 years, 2 weeks) since I lived under the same roof as him.

I’ll be 36 this week.  And while my body is feeling its age (and more) at times, my mind feels younger than it ever did when I was in my 20s.

Being sick is an excuse: Episode 4

Perhaps not an illness, but he loved to praise my ability to operate when exhausted.

He took the fact that I could function on 2 - 3 hours of sleep as an invitation to push those boundaries.  For two years after my secrets had been divulged he said “It’s amazing you need so little sleep” and kept me at our his house until 4 am when I had to be at work for 9am.

I eventually lost that job (after I had officially cut ties thankfully) primarily because the HR department took my cry for help as an invitation to use my situation against me.  But I can’t deny that my serious and chronic lack of sleep affected my performance.

When I said as much, I was accused of pitting my stupidity at work on him.  I functioned just fine without sleep.  I was just making excuses.

Daymare where I am in court because he's trying to get some money Ive come in to. He's telling the judge how terrible I am, and I'm just trying to explain that I just want to be left alone.

Aaaannnd I'm crying over the pancakes I'm making.

If you need a wholesome and calming presence, may I introduce you to Quincy...

Being sick is an excuse: Episode 1

I get migraines with auras ( mine are sparkly lights and blindspots) He made me drive to get him beer after I came home from work early with a migraine. I could barely keep my eyes open, but I did it. And the completion of the task showed that it really wasn't that bad. I needed to stop over reacting.