Fomo - Tumblr Posts
parece q a galera toda da minha cidade resolveu ir no motorock, um story seguido do outro do mesmo evento slk
i have insane fomo but also i’m not social enough to do anything about it so i just suffer :)
frolicking through
the ruins of my own fate,
round and round in circles.
the paint on my face
scrubbing away.
standing still,
time's running still,
rotting it all away.
my conscience an
off key jazz beat,
i chugged the c note,
and wrote the life and times
of an old soul living inside me.
see my nibbling mind, each bite
that of guilt and regret.
mourning the life
i could have had.
I don't know how to feel.
Apparently, they accidentally released episode 8 of Kiseki: Dear To Me today, and some folks were able to see it while it was still up. I feel like I missed out ... but everyone who saw it is miserable.
Not looking forward to next week.
Friendship Things That Hurt :(
-when you arent invited to your friends birthday party
-when your friends don't ask you to hang out with them
-seeing pictures of your friends having a great time hanging out together without you
-your friend posting a collage of a bunch of their friends on their story, but you aren't included
-when your best friend isn't best friends with you
-when all of your friends seem to be closer with each other than you are with them
-when you start to not know what to talk about
-when you try to talk about things you like, but end up feeling judged
-when none of your friends reach out to you or even notice when you're too depressed to talk to them as much as you used to
-when you feel like all your friends are leaving you
-when you fall into depression and see yourself leaving your friends and the guilt that you carry with you about that
-the fear of never being able to connect with real people as strongly as you're able to connect with fictional characters
-when two of your friends have a falling out and you're left having to pick a side
-looking back at the happy memories you had with your old friends and wondering where the fuck it all went wrong
-the struggle to know how close you even are with your friends
My best friend is going into Basic training soon and I don’t fucking know how I’m gonna be without him.
I literally spent half an hour crying cause as lame as it sounds he does a lot for me.
He reminds me to eat, drink water, keeps the bad thoughts at bay, validates everything good I do cause I crave validation.
I can’t text him
I can’t go to him in a panic attack
I can’t distract myself from over thinking
Besides that, my attachment issues with my friends feels like it’s crumbling cause they’re all in college, going to college, going to BT and I feel like I’m losing them even though I know they’re my family and I’ll never lose them but it just hurts cause I’m trying to get to a point where I can thrive from my art without going to college even though I know I should go to college to learn more.
I feel like I have some weird FOMO even when I’m not really missing out on anything. Maybe it’s because I don’t have a true plan while they’re all going to college or military, I’m not sure.
Where the fuck did time go….
How is he already about to go into BT…
How is it already time for my other friends to be in college…
Graduation felt like a week ago…
What the hell happened….
Take me back to my senior year…where I didn’t have to worry about losing my favorite people…
I need my mom to take me to my school at some point soon…I’m losing hope and I just want to see my teachers…I need to see my teachers…and my underclassmen friends…
I feel so alone…
Me as soon as i commit to plans
i want out i want out i want out i want out i want out i want out
Missing a live stream by only a couple minutes is the greatest pain I have ever felt excluding a lot of other things
— @samwinchesterunderstander
(Sharing these so my tags have context too.)
how life feels when you have the destiel tag blocked
TV Shows - Bull VI
So, the fourth season of Bull comes to an end, and it's less spectacular than I thought. I'm not sure why, but somehow I was expecting a bigger bang. The second season ends with a severely battered Jason Bull lying in front of the courthouse because, due to his lifestyle, he suffered a heart attack. The end of the third season is a bit exciting but not quite as spectacular, so I thought there would be another big finale, but that wasn't the case.
I don't want to say that the episode was harmless because it absolutely wasn't. Taylor had to endure a lot, and that was already the second, if you count it, maybe even the third episode where a case puts her in the spotlight. No one else on the team has received so many cases and episodes. As always, not a complaint, just an observation.
However, I'm also torn here because one part of me would like to see more of Dr. Jason Bull and his team, while the other part is quite satisfied with these four seasons. Both sides are actually quite balanced, which rarely happens to me.
I'll leave out my usual points here; thanks to the other posts, they should be well known. A new addition is that sometimes I wish they would integrate Izzy and Little Bull (I can't remember the baby's name right now) more. A mix of Papa Bull and the Bull from season one, I'm starting again, would be something exciting.
But otherwise, I really enjoyed the series and liked watching it. A big point is that it's not so long. I don't know, CSI: Las Vegas was somehow intense with its 15 seasons, and since then, I've been a bit scared of such long series. At some point, it feels like a strange burden, and you "have to" keep watching. Of course, I'm only talking about myself, but I still find it strange. On the other hand, you don't have the long search in the streaming services when you want to watch something else or new. That's sometimes even more exhausting and stressful than the mentioned burden.
I'm curious when the last two seasons will become available. I calculated over the weekend that I pay 30€ for streaming services, and that's definitely too much for me. I'd like to cut something there, but I'm not sure what. This is making me wish for a service that has everything, but with all the chaos of licenses here in Europe and Germany, that dream will probably always remain just that, a dream.
At the moment, due to May 4th, Star Wars is still predominant. I've watched the movies and am considering which series I might still watch. I think I'm missing a season of The Mandalorian, and otherwise, I haven't seen anything from Ahsoka, Andor, The Bad Batch, Rebels, and Clone Wars, and I think there are still quite a few series missing, but those are the ones that come to mind right now.
For this reason, I'm not exactly sure what will come next here. I have to admit, Dr. House has been the most fun and has also generated the most resonance. Voyager was also good, but at the moment, I'm lacking a bit of the nerve for it. However, Deep Space Nine would also be due again because especially with all the Star Trek stuff that has come and is coming, I like to refer to DS9 again and again, but I haven't watched it in a long time.
LATE NIGHT POST
Been feeling this way since high school. During elementary, I was in my own world and only felt sad that some classmates misunderstood or laugh (or smirk) on my cluelessness about films, shows, and trends. But in high school, there was a pull between reading books or hanging out and talking with friends or classmates about people in showbiz, or shows, films, or just be with them doing fun shizz. FOMO is strong mostly during DMs which friends chose to ignore constantly if they're busy (esp if they're with other "more fun" people).
When birthday wishes are reduced to "happy birthday" from those short yet well meaning personal messages I adore. When you finall6 able to go with people but you got so much to catch on from exes, drunken stories, and jokes which makes it awkward for both you and the people you are with.
So over the years, I gradually rewired my brain to forgo any expectations I used to have. Still, I feel all the emotions from heaviness, the emptiness, and the feeling of being forgotten. I expect people to misjudge, misunderstood, overlook, ignore, and be disappointed in me.
It is so ingrained within me that I have a hard time considering calling people as friends or to even think about the idea of being committed in a romantic relationship with someone. This is not all that bad tho coz it introduced me to be more loving on myself by myself. To not expect anything from people. To learn things I could learn so when they refuse or ignore my plea for assistance (or they abandon me) I can do it on my own. Coz you will come to a point of getting tired of making excuses for people who did not even bother to offer you one for themselves.
I miss people and moments even if they don't miss me (or remember me) at all. It's okay coz this is life and I could be forgetting others as well. We will all die one day and when it is time we should reflect if we are proud of the life we've lived up to the very last breath.
