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Passar por algo sozinha quando você realmente precisava de ajuda, faz você olhar para todos de uma forma diferente!!!

Oração para o mês de agosto:

Pai, entrego esse novo mês em tuas mãos... Toma a frente de tudo, abra as portas fechadas, acalma o meu coração e me ensine a confiar no teu agir!!! Aumente a minha fé e restitui a minha história. Livrai-me Senhor de todo mal. Amém!!! 🙌🙏

Meu primeiro Niver sem minha mãe... No meu Niver de 2023 eu estava em sofrimento, agonia e coração partido por causa do internamento hospitalar dela, pois ela estava sofrendo muito e desde então n voltou mais pra casa, de lá mesmo ela partiu... Hj, meu Niver atual 2024 estou angustiada, triste e me sentindo sozinha sem minha mainha!!! Agora que um novo ano se inicia para mim, agradeço a Deus pelo meu aniversário. Obrigada meu Deus por mais um ciclo completo. Mesmo olhando para o passado com tristeza, para o presente com lucidez e para o futuro com muita esperança. Obrigada pelas bênçãos concedidas na minha vida... Senhor, que este próximo ano seja repleto de iluminação, aprendizado e muito mais amadurecimento. Agradeço ao universo por tudo que acontece na minha vida e por ter permitido eu completar mais uma volta ao sol. Espero poder contar com o amor de Deus e da Minha Pessoa Z, para me dá coragem necessária para poder seguir... Que este novo ano seja uma nova oportunidade para seguir na luta, que eu continue iluminando a vida das pessoas que me cercam... Este foi um ano difícil, lutei com garra para superar todas as adversidades. Hoje inicio mais um capítulo da minha vida, foram 365 dias de muita luta, muita garra e muito aprendizado!!! Hoje, no dia do meu aniversário, percebi o quanto amadureci e o quanto ainda tenho para aprender...

Hoje só tenho vontade de ficar quietinha no meu canto preservando minha saúde mental!!!🤍🤍🤍🤍

Passa tempo, passa tempo... E chegou novamente agosto. O mês difícil. Não, não é nenhum tipo de superstição. É apenas um mês difícil. Triste. É difícil ver a todo momento a palavra pai estampada em cada canto. Em cada comercial, propaganda, anúncios de lojas. É difícil ficar olhando sempre sugestões de presentes. É triste ver este dia chegar, e com ele a saudade. A saudade existe sempre, mas neste mês ela vem com mais intensidade, mais força. Se eu soubesse que aquele seria o último dia que te vi, teria te abraçado com tanta força. Se soubesse que seria a última vez que ouviria sua voz, te pediria para ouvir um último eu te amo. Nenhum abraço, nenhuma palavra de amor jamais terá o mesmo valor. Eu daria tudo para ter seu amor de pai. Para ser amada por um pai. Ter o privilégio deste amor. Você dizia que eu era sua princesinha. E que saudade de me sentir uma princesa, de ser tratada como uma princesa! Nenhum homem no mundo jamais amará uma mulher como um pai ama sua filha. Nenhum é capaz de cuidar, de admirar, de valorizar, como um pai. E é por isso que minha vontade é gritar bem alto para todos que têm a sorte de ter um pai, para que não só neste dia, mas em todos, os valorize, os ame, os abrace, beije, e aproveite cada instante junto deles. Muita saudade. Muita falta!!! ❤️‍🩹🖤💔❤️‍🩹🖤💔

Foi um ano que se passou minha mainha, desde sua partida... Apenas um conjunto de dias, porque parece que ainda foi ontem que ouvi sua doce voz pela última vez... Um ciclo infindável de meses, pois o vazio que você deixou foi muito profundo e tornou todos os instantes da minha vida em momentos dolorosamente prolongados. Saudade é o que mais sinto, como se tivéssemos largado as mãos, de forma súbita, e agora eu procurasse, de alguma forma, agarrar você de novo. Saudade porque mãe é uma pessoa única, capaz de proporcionar o maior dos amores que o mundo já conheceu. E, por isso, ficar sem você foi perder um pouco de minha própria vida. Foi deixar de ter a referência que eu sempre quis imitar. Pudessem as lembranças abrandar um pouco esta vontade dilacerante de ter você de volta à vida e talvez eu fosse capaz de seguir verdadeiramente em frente. Mas, por agora, um ano é pouco para eu conseguir. Pouco para quem desejava permanecer toda a vida do seu lado!!!

1º de setembro!!! Que seja um mês de coisas boas!!!!

Meu pai, você não está mais entre nós, você partiu faz tempo, mas jamais deixarei passar um aniversário seu sem lembrar o homem e pai maravilhoso que você foi!!! Infelizmente, hoje não podemos celebrar seu aniversário, porque você não está mais aqui. Mas gostaria que você soubesse não haver um único dia em que eu não sinto a sua falta... Mesmo distantes, você sempre será meu pai, meu grande amigo e confidente. O amor que nos une jamais irá desaparecer. Até um dia, meu pai!!!❤️‍🩹💔🖤🥀🤍

My sister who’s not doing so great in some of her classes just checked her grades and said at least my grades are growing up

LMFAO wanna hold feet

Crying like 2h30 before the new year isn't the most pathetic thing I've done this year and yet I feel shitty for it.

Happy new year everyone

[crippled screaming] NO ONE TOUCH ME NO ONE

7 de setembro de 2022

lá fora chovendo

e eu no quarto chorando

shhh! silêncio

essa alma precisa lavar as calçadas

~ minha tempestade

Cartas para Capitu, "meu eu"

NO. NO NO NO. THIS IS NOT WHAT I MEANT AND YOU FUCKING KNOW IT

Just started watching Good Omens! I’ll let yall know how it goes

#It’s about breaking the circle of abuse and being better than him

Celebrities I NEED to meet (even just in my dreams)

•Lin-Manuel Miranda

•Joe Keery

•Sadie Sink

•Damon Albarn

•Matpat

Saving this for myself because reading something has never made me cry this hard

ceilings, plaster, can’t you just make it move faster?

Steddie Week / Day 2: Fluff and Angst ( @steddie-week )

-

There’s beeping on his side as Steve slowly gains consciousness. He can hear birds chirping, and the trees dancing against the wind. Which was weird, because he remembers closing the window last night.

“Pst! Steve!”

Steve’s eyes shot open, jumping out the bed to reach for his spiked bat when he sees Eddie’s head wedged between his bedroom windows. He looks like a damn burglar.

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” Steve drops his bat, rushing to open the windows wider, “Eddie? What the hell are you doing?!”

Eddie jumps clumsily inside the bedroom, “Like a ninja!” Steve bites down laughter. If he looked as dorky as this man, he doesn’t even know why Nancy dated him.

“Why are you here?”

Eddie pokes his ribs, “Are you really asking me that?”

Steve swats his hand away, “Yes. It’s a perfectly normal question to ask when you’ve just been woken up by a man who climbed your roof.”

“Sweetheart,” Eddie sings, “We have a date.”

Steve gapes at him, “What? Was that today?”

“Yes.” Eddie laughs. There’s no hint of anger or remorse in his voice, “Go on, get ready for the day. I’ll make you some brunch.”

Rushing to get ready, Steve showers and dresses up in his favorite Levis and polo. His hair also doesn’t take him more than 5 minutes to sculpt. It’s like he’s having the luckiest damn day ever. When he finally walks out of his room, the smell of waffles and coffee spreads through his senses.

Steve sits on the counter, “I am sorry for forgetting about our date, Eds. It completely slipped my mind.”

Eddie laughs, pushing a plate of waffles in front of him, “No worries, sweetheart. You’re still healing, you deserve all the rest.”

There’s a pause as Steve squints at him.

“Healing? Healing from what?”

Eddie shakes his head, “None of that now. Eat so we can go to the carnival.”

“Carnival?” Steve perks up at the mention of a carnival, “There’s a carnival in town?”

Eddie nods, his mouth stuffed with a forkful of waffle. Steve’s always wanted to have a carnival date, but the last time the carnival was in town, Steve was too busy trying to stay alive in an underground Russian bunker.

“Yep! So get some food in you and we’ll go. We’re burning daylight here.” Eddie urges him to eat.

Steve laughs, “Slow down. The carnival won’t leave.”

Steve takes the first bite of his waffle and literally moans on the spot. The waffle melts on his mouth, a combination of sweet and soft sensations bursting.

“Oh my god.” He moans, stuffing himself another bite, “Did you freaking make this?!”

Eddie smirks, “Yes.”

“Why the hell is it so good?”

“It’s my mom’s recipe. I only pull it out for the pretty boys.”

Steve chokes on a bite, his cheeks flushing, “So I am just another pretty boy now, huh?” Eddie cackles at his reaction, pushing a glass of water his way.

There’s a twinkle of warmth in his eyes, and a smile so soft Steve knows for sure it’s only for him, “The prettiest boy.”

-

The carnival was— perfect. It had everything Steve has ever wanted to try. In a sense, it’s like everything was catered for his pleasure.

Steve looks around in wonderment, as people walk and move past them, “Dude, we should’ve bought the kids!”

There’s a sharp pain in his chest as he remembers the kids, but it's gone as quick as it came. Steve clutches his chest, chasing the pain.

Eddie looks at him, hands immediately wrapping around him in concern, “Stevie? Are you okay?”

“No. I— I just—“ He tries to straighten up and he feels… nothing, “Nothing. I think my heart skipped a beat or something.”

Eddie smirks at him, but his eyes soft with worry, “Sweetheart, I haven’t even held your hand.”

Steve feels his face heat up, “Oh, shut up.”

“Well. Which one do you want to do first? Ride some rides? Play some games?” Eddie pulls him by the hand, intertwining their hands together as they walk around the park, “You know what, I’ll win you one of those bears from one of the games!”

They spend the next few hours just playing and riding rides. They tried numerous carnival foods that Steve was never allowed to try as a kid. It's the first time Steve has actually gone to a carnival and had fun. Eddie’s loud and crass and wonderful in so many ways. He has tricks for game after game, and even if he’s scared on some rides, he still rides for Steve.

It’s the perfect date.

“Eds, you can stop trying. You’re wasting your money.” Steve whispers as Eddie hands more money to the carnival personnel.

“I am going to get you that damn bat toy and I won’t stop until my wallet is empty.” Eddie winks at him, as he squats and stares at the barrel of the water gun.

Eddie concentrates intensely as he tries to get the water to shoot on the hole. The personnel look bored as he watches them, but Steve only has eyes for Eddie. There’s pure determination on his face, squinting hard so he can finally win the damn bat toy. Steve shouldn’t have should interest on it to begin with.

The lights above it start lighting up one by one, Eddie just has to reach the top and he can finally get the stuffed toy. Steve doesn’t even realize that they won because he was only staring at Eddie.

“Jesus Christ! Finally!” Eddie grabs the bat toy from the personnel, hopping up and down with joy. His lips stretched into a huge smile, and his eyes bright with excitement.

Steve wishes he could stay in this moment forever. In this light and sparkling moment with this person that he could love— this person he might already love.

“One bat stuffed toy for your majesty.” Eddie kneels one knee, and presents the stuffed toy like it’s a bar of gold. Steve plays along, nodding ceremoniously, before taking the bat into his hand.

It’s not a bar of gold, not a crown, not a diamond. But it’s Steve’s most prized possession.

A personnel walks past them, shouting in a megaphone, “One more hour till closing!”

“The carnival’s closing?” Steve asks as Eddie straightens up.

“Apparently. You want to do one last ride?”

Steve shrugs, “Sure. I think I have…” He pauses, tries to think of what he had planned for tomorrow. Weirdly enough, he can’t think of anything.

Eddie pulls him along, “There’s one more ride I want to visit before the sun sets.”

As they walk past the stalls, the lights start flickering open. Bright, colorful lights start surrounding them. It’s not dark enough yet, but Steve knows it’ll be beautiful in the dark.

“Here!” They enter the line for the ferris wheel, which was surprisingly empty, “Come on!"

The personnel lets them in on one of the carts, smiling respectfully as he locks it, “See you on the other side.”

The wheel starts moving, slowly but surely and soon enough, they’re on the top. From where Steve is sitting he watches as people walk around the carnival like tiny little ants. The sky starts changing its colors. The bright blue, turning into a softer orange and pink.

“It’s beautiful.” Steve whispers, breathless as he sees the entirety of his hometown.

Eddie chuckles quietly beside him, reaching for his hand and taking into his, “It is.” Steve turns to him and catches his eyes on him.

The ride stops as they arrive at the top. The cart moves ever so slightly, and it feels like someone lulling him to sleep. Steve lets his head fall on Eddie’s shoulder as he watches the scene in front of him.

“Did you have fun today?” Eddie asks, his thumb softly caressing Steve’s hand.

“Yeah.” Steve sighs in content, “I think I’m going to bring Robin here tomorrow.”

A sharp pain stabs him again, the same one he felt earlier. Steve jolts up, as he clutches at his chest again, massaging it slowly, “What the hell is that?”

“I think it’s time, Steve.” Eddie says, there’s a hint of sadness in his voice.

Steve turns to him, confused, “Time for what?”

Eddie moves closer, cupping his jaw into his hand, “Time for you to wake up.”

“I am awake.” Steve pulls away, narrowing his eyes.

He shakes his head, “No, sweetheart. You have to wake up.”

The beeping is back, and Steve swings his head around to see where the sound is coming from. He gasps as he looks down at the ground, all of the people are gone now. It’s just— It’s just him and Eddie, on top of the ferris wheel.

“What’s happening?” Steve demands.

Eddie tilts his head, “You don’t remember?”

Steve shakes his head, as Eddie takes his hand again, “Here. Close your eyes.”

He gulps, but obeys. The beeping subsides.

Eddie starts talking, “We went back to the Upside Down, to finish what we started and then—“

Lights start flashing in his eyes, like thunder striking in the dark. Vines strewn everywhere in the ground.

Steve remembers screaming, lots of screaming. He remembers running in front of Robin. He remembers using all his strength, he remembers killing a monster, he remembers using his body as a shield. He remembers— he remembers pain. All around his body, like sharp pain, heightened a thousand times over. He remembers hearing sobbing and Robin begging him to stay.

He tried.

Steve gasps awake. “Robin? Is Robs okay?”

Eddie grins at him fondly, “Yes, sweetheart. Robin is alright.”

Steve looks down at his hands, “Am… I dead?” His eyes widened in realization, “Eddie? Are you dead?”

“I am not sure, sweetheart.” Eddie shrugs, “I don’t remember a lot either. I just woke up here and then— I remembered that before we went to fight Vecna, you…” Eddie laughs, his cheeks flushing, “You asked me on a date. To go to a carnival. So here I am.”

The beeping is back, and it’s louder than ever. There’s a gust of wind that brings a soft whisper, “Dingus. Please.”

“Robin’s calling me.” Steve whispers.

“I know.” Eddie says back, “You have to go back.”

“We have to go back. Together.”.

Eddie smiles at him, but it’s small and painful and Steve hates it. “I can’t hear any beeping, Stevie.”

His lips quiver, Steve starts shaking his head, “No. No. We have to go together or I am not leaving.”

Eddie holds onto him tighter, “No. You have to go back. You have to wake up.”

“Will you be there?”

Eddie blinks, pursing his lips in contemplation, “I am not sure.”

Steve clenches his jaw, swallowing the lump forming on his throat, “Are you real? Was any of this real?”

Steve looks around. The carnival is now gone. It’s just him, and Eddie and the ferris wheel. The sky is still there, watching over them in a combination of beautiful orange and pink hues. The sun is still setting, vividly and slowly. The end slowly sinking into the horizon.

Eddie giggles, “Of course, I am real, sweetheart. Everything was real.”

“Then I want to stay.”

“No, baby. You have to go back. Listen to the wind.” Eddie pulls him closer, leaning his forehead into his.

Steve lets his eyes flutter shut as the wind shakes the cart, tiny little voices being brought by the wind, tiny little pleads from Robin, Dustin, Max, Erica— from everyone. Everyone pleading and begging for him to wake up and come back.

“Can you hear it now?” Eddie asks.

Steve nods against him, as Eddie continues, “Everyone needs you. You have to go back.”

“I promise to find you. When I wake up, I will find you.” Steve promises, because there’s no way in hell he’s going to live in a world without Eddie Munson in it.

Eddie nods, there’s a look in his eyes that doesn’t fully believe it, but he says, “I’ll be waiting for you, sweetheart.”

Eddie leans over, his lips soft against Steve’s. Steve tries to map it out, tries to memorize it as best as he can. Eddie’s lips are chapped and rough, but it’s the softest and most gentle kiss Steve has ever had. He reaches over to wipe the tears streaming down Steve’s cheeks.

The beeping gets louder, insistent and— There’s a sharp pain in his chest and it feels like getting struck by lightning.

Eddie pulls away, “Wake up, sweetheart.”

There’s heaviness in his chest and then— Steve gasps, opening his eyes. It feels exactly like being drowned, and being able to finally breathe again.

“Oh my god! Steve!” He hears a voice sob. It’s a voice he would recognize anywhere.

The heaviness lifts away, and silhouettes surround him. Steve holds out his hand, and someone takes it.

“Dingus.” Robin sobs, “I thought I lost you.”

Steve can feel tears running down his cheeks. He looks around, his eyes getting used to the light. He blinks at everyone, roaming his eyes on each one of them.

He turns back to Robin and behind her is a big window. The sky is streaks of orange, the sun obviously setting. It looks exactly the same as the sky from his dreams. It was real.

Steve opens his mouth, his tongue feels heavy and sharp, but he wills himself.

“Eddie.”

(The beeping starts slowly, barely even there. The cart lulls against the wind and caresses his cheeks, with it a silent whisper of his name.

He smiles and waits.)

october 5th!

does anyone have any hopes and/or predictions that they would like to share? because i’d be happy to hear them.

here are mine so far:

i’m hoping that Jim and Izzy have a scary besties arc because I’ve seen some people posting about that on here and i really love the concept.

I’m also hoping that the theories of Lucius living inside of the walls of the ship are true because he’s not allowed to be dead. I forbid it.

FUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKK

*bi panic triggered*