Sex Positivity - Tumblr Posts - Page 2

Oh fuck it's past my bedtime, better go to bed so I'm not tired in the morning

*masturbates for the next hour and a half*

Also if we wanna stop having toxic body standards in general don't shame people attracted to certain traits which are not "conventionally attractive". I can not tell you the number of times when I told someone my boyfriend was 5'1" and was looked at with shock, humor, or even pity. Did you ever stop to ask if I was attracted to short men?

Same applies to women who are flat, men who are not muscular, people who are balding, people with bad skin, people who have certain smells, and anyone who just looks a little weird. These things are all beautiful and normal, and if somebody is able to recognize that and be attracted to it then that is a good thing!

crucially important is not shaming people attracted to fat people or fatness. i think. if we want to love in a world where fatness isnt seen as shameful/disgusting/a moral failing we need to stop shaming ppl who are attracted to fatness. this means fetishists too.

Take me on a cute date to pick berries together, then eat them out of our baskets in the car ride home with me. Hold hands and love each other, feeling our connection and love, and once we get home let me pin you to the bed and fuck you so good you forget you were trying to keep the volume down

What is the most attractive physical trait in a man (not including personality, even though that's a factor, just pick one based on what he looks like)

If something else or something more specific add it in the tags

And ofc choose the parts that apply to the attractive men in your life, if someone you like doesnt have some of these you can still vote on the poll!

*me ovulating*

*my bf getting spammed with unsolicited nudes*

Terfs be like: Consensual bdsm is bad because women's consent doesn't matter. Sex is inherently unfeminist by the way so women shouldnt think they can like it. Taking ownership of your desires oppresses you. Also all men are bad. By giving no positive reinforcement to feminist ally men and men who don't hurt women we are encouraging society to be better. Women need to cover up their body. Because choosing your own comfort level is unfeminist. Being a feminine woman is bad because feminine clothing is oppressive. But if you're trans then you hate women. Then they see no issues with any of these arguments??

I feel like nudity being censored like... forces it to be sexual. Where are my funny internet videos of a guy making his dick do little jumps to dance to the mii soundtrack?

My blog has like a mix of hornyposting and advocacy for things like consent and safer sex. You might like it!

Reblog if you're an NSFW blog not run by a cis dude.

I need more people to follow but the only blogs I'm finding are boring dudes who all post the same generic black and white gifs and I'm not into it.

Honestly I think the key to preventing a lot of dangerous actions is education, not fear.

You want college students to stop drinking? Setting up a workshop to educate them about the effects of alcohol on their brains then trusting them to make an informed decision is a lot more effective than saying "no!! alcohol bad! you should ever ever ever drink because it's bad!!!" One of these things provides actual information and teaches strategies for making safe choices. The other will be completely ineffective.

Similarly, if you want to prevent the spread of stis, it's way more effective to distribute condoms, dental dams, and finger cots along with informational pamphlets than it is to tell everyone to never ever have sex because it's bad!! Reason being, if they decide to ignore your advice in the latter scenario, they have no idea how to do it safely.

The assumptions you make about people affect how they act. People try, subconsciously, to conform to how they're perceived, which is known by psychologists as a "self-fulfilling prophecy." Expect someone to be an upstander, they become an upstander. Expect someone to be sexual harassment perpetrator? Even if you tell them not to, they may act in those negative ways

Studies show that approaching youth with a bystander-intervention model is actually a lot more effective for reducing sexual assault, and it is also more enthusiastically received than programs that bill themselves as anti-rape.

We can tell youth that they are basically “rapists waiting to happen” (anti-rape initiative), or we can tell them that we know they would intervene if they saw harm happening to someone and we want to help empower them to do that (bystander intervention). The kids jump in with both feet for the latter! It was amazing to see children (and young boys in particular) excited to do this work and engage their creativity with it. Also, studies show that not only do they go on to intervene, but they also do not go on to sexually assault people themselves. Bystander intervention also takes the onus off the person being targeted to deter rape and empowers the collective to do something about it. It answers the question in the room when giggling boys are carrying an unconscious young woman up the stairs at a house party, and people are not sure how to respond and are waiting for “someone” to say or do something.

Richard M. Wright, “Rehearsing Consent Culture: Revolutionary Playtime” in the anthology Ask: Building Consent Culture edited by Kitty Stryker

Since the finale, I’ve been watching some of my favorite episodes and scenes of DSN. I love Fiat’s mostly sex positive attitude and agency but I do wonder how much he censored himself for fear of Leo’s judgement. Like in this scene:

Fiat, are you sure about that?

Because what Leo said:

And what Fiat said:

… and because you really want to try bondage with him? Seeing as you totally came up with the “tie me up” on your own. 😏

Leo is basically talking about restricting everyone else’s social access to Fiat. Fiat fluidly moves to the idea of restraining his body. (I wish I knew thai in case this is a translation thing but doesn’t seem like that to me.) Me thinks Fiat’s been holding out on some kinky desires of his own.

Yes, let’s! This scene is one of my favorites for sure! To add, I love how Fiat wearing Leo’s clothing got his attention and that horny look is just 👌🏼👌🏼. Perfect. I also noticed the reflexive movement of Leo’s hand when Fiat turns away like wait, don’t go. Some of these little details just feel so unscripted and genuine. My heart! 💘

Leo throwing Fiat on the bed was fantastic and I can’t help but think Leo really took Fiat’s feedback about how he can be rougher in bed to heart. I imagine that’s how Leo is when he’s just being himself since that’s how Fiat described him to Natsu after their first time. Second time, Leo tried to “do better” by perhaps being more careful and then Fiat gives him the okay to just be himself since rough is how Fiat likes it. Well then, on with the manhandling. ♥️

This scene was also my favorite because of how openly they’re enjoying themselves, smiling at each other when Leo climbs on top of Fiat. I love it when couples smile or laugh during intimate scenes in general and these two do it quite a lot but this instance is right up there with the best.

Can we talk about ep5 for a sec?

1. Leo looking at Fiat with such hunger in his eyes when he enters the room.

2. Leo’s hand trying to follow Fiat when he turns, like a reflex of some kind, maybe a need to get close to him. I find it super sweet and endearing.

3. Fiat teasing Leo with the toy and getting an even hungrier look in return. We know you BOTH wanted to try come on!

4. Leo throwing Fiat on the bed

I repeat:

LEO THROWING FIAT ON THE BED!!!!

5. Fiat looking extra gorgeous all spread out on the bed with his chest exposed and a happy look in his eyes. Asking to be punished.

6. Leo being the dom he is and literally edging Fiat with small fast kisses and pulling back.

7. Fiat being a bratty sub pouting so cutely! Following Leo up with eyes closed asking for more.

8. Leo playing with the toy and First giving the performance of his life looking so aroused when the thing goes down on his belly. Damn!

What’s there not to love in this scene! I’ve been rewatching it non stop because it’s sexy and sweet and they are so good when they get close. And did I mention that First looks hot? 🔥

My Favorite Version Of Character

I have noticed a ✨theme✨in a lot of my characters so I will give you a step-by-step explanation of my thought process so you can steal it and i'll know I have helped a generation of tumblr users

Step 1: Grab A Mystical Creature

Bonus: They Are Associated With Purity

Think angels. Maybe even aliens? Just something on the supernatural side of things.

Step 2: Make Them Horny :)

Grab that angel character you just made and make them interested in sex or "sexy things". Grab that alien you just made and have be an alien who studies human reproduction with a focus on the actual "sexy" aspect because it's something unfamiliar to aliens.

Either way, they have a focus. A Drive

Final Step: Don't Judge Them For This, They Have Other Issues

One of my angel characters, Gabriel, is basically Nagito-levels of submissive. Complete sexual undercurrent throughout so many of their actions.

And this is never seen as bad. Heck, Gabriel is literally named Gabriel as a reward for being God's Favorite Angel due to his religious devotion and belief in God's message. Since that's all God cares about!

Gabriel has flaws that make life a little awkward but this isn't one of them.

Lesson: Sex Isn't Evil

A character being sex-positive shouldn't be shown as a bad thing. No one should be judged for their sex habits if they are using protection and regularly checking their STD status.

Sex doesn't corrupt. An active sex life isn't incapitable with morality.

If your character genuinely adores sex and this isn't a trauma response or a bad coping mechanism then they should be able to do that. #sex positive

My Favorite Version Of Character

I have noticed a ✨theme✨in a lot of my characters so I will give you a step-by-step explanation of my thought process so you can steal it and i'll know I have helped a generation of tumblr users

Step 1: Grab A Mystical Creature

Bonus: They Are Associated With Purity

Think angels. Maybe even aliens? Just something on the supernatural side of things.

Step 2: Make Them Horny :)

Grab that angel character you just made and make them interested in sex or "sexy things". Grab that alien you just made and have be an alien who studies human reproduction with a focus on the actual "sexy" aspect because it's something unfamiliar to aliens.

Either way, they have a focus. A Drive

Final Step: Don't Judge Them For This, They Have Other Issues

One of my angel characters, Gabriel, is basically Nagito-levels of submissive. Complete sexual undercurrent throughout so many of their actions.

And this is never seen as bad. Heck, Gabriel is literally named Gabriel as a reward for being God's Favorite Angel due to his religious devotion and belief in God's message. Since that's all God cares about!

Gabriel has flaws that make life a little awkward but this isn't one of them.

Lesson: Sex Isn't Evil

A character being sex-positive shouldn't be shown as a bad thing. No one should be judged for their sex habits if they are using protection and regularly checking their STD status.

Sex doesn't corrupt. An active sex life isn't incapitable with morality.

If your character genuinely adores sex and this isn't a trauma response or a bad coping mechanism then they should be able to do that. #sex positive

[Image description: A tumblr post, edited blackout-poetry style. Resulting text reads, "if a man reaches his 20s or 30s or beyond without sex that is something natural it's likely that he's not interested"]

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if a man reaches his 20s or 30s or beyond without sex that is something natural it's likely that he's not interested

Submitted by @aromanticduck

Here’s the thing, a lot of gay adults didn’t get to explore their sexualities as teens. I don’t just mean that they missed out on common teen experiences like a first kiss, dating, or even sex — I mean a lot of them didn’t even get to fantasize or think about their sexuality, because they didn’t feel safe to acknowledge that part of themselves.

This is why a lot of those adults make up for that loss of experience through writing. They can never turn back the clock and have their first kiss as a teen like most other people, but they can write about a gay kid who gets to do everything they wished they could. They can live out their secret childhood crushes through writing. They can go through the necessary process of developing their sexuality by writing about what they would have liked to do as a teen.

This isn’t a process unique to queer people — it also happens to straight women who were told by society that they couldn’t form a sexuality at all. It also happens to people who were abused as kids and didn’t develop at the same time as other kids, or who were too traumatized to explore their sexuality as teens. It happens to a lot of people for a wide variety of reasons. Writing — and especially fanfiction — becomes an outlet as well as a helpful tool for marginalized adults to explore their sexuality the same way other people are allowed to (and encouraged to!) as teens.

This is why it bothers me to see claims that adults who write romantic/sexual fanfiction about teens are somehow pedophiles, simply for writing about common teen experiences with romance and sex. Oftentimes, those are adults writing about their own experiences (or the experiences they wish they had) as teens. Frequently, they’re writing about the same characters they had crushes on when they were kids — now they may be technically older than those characters, but at the time they developed a crush, they were the same age or younger (see: adult lesbians writing fics about Elizabeth Swan, a 17 year old they had a crush on when they themselves were 10, or adult gay men writing fics about Naruto, a character they’ve had a crush on since they were six). Fictional crushes are tricky because while you age, your crushes often stay the same age, and it’s ludicrous to call someone a pedophile cuz they still like or relate to a cartoon character they grew up with, or a live-action character played by an actor who’s ten years older than them, but was a minor in 2006.

You have no way of knowing what someone’s motivations are for writing a fanfiction. You have no way of knowing if they’re “getting off to it,” even if it’s erotica — and it’s none of your business either way. It’s not your right to interrogate people to determine whether their fic aligns with your morals.

What we see in anti circles on this website is people taking a universally accepted opinion (pedophilia is bad!) and using it to bully and harass people who are 100% not pedophiles. They use it to convince marginalized people who are exploring their sexuality (and frequently their trauma) in a normal, healthy way that they’re actually the lowest scum on the face of the earth for doing so.

It goes without saying, but that’s not an appropriate response to finding a pairing you don’t like.

3 Reasons Why Sex-Positivity without Critical Analysis Is Harmful - Everyday Feminism

I like what sex-positivity sets out to do, but the problem for me is the way that a lot of people practice sex-positivity in the mainstream movement – namely, without a critical analysis component. And I want to talk about that. So here are three points to consider when thinking through this stuff.

Sex-positivity is a movement that arose from a need for us to accept and value sexuality without guilt, shame, and hurt.

I’m about that.

But when we stop asking hard questions in favor of assuming that everything is revolutionarily enlightened and therefore devoid of the intricacies of oppressive structures, I have to step back and question whether or not that’s a movement I want to be a part of.

And unless that critical analysis is present, I don’t.

The “only have sex with people you are attracted to” discourse may be a reaction against women and teen girls (often lesbians in denial) being coerced into sex with people/men they didn’t want to have sex with, with their rapists not respecting “I’m not attracted to you” as a reason to refuse. So the logic is that if it’s a thing to have sex with people you’re not attracted to, that will be used as a weapon in lgbtq spaces to coerce/rape even more young women. Do you have thoughts on this?

Wanting to have sex with someone doesn’t require enthusiasm or attraction, but it does require want.

It’s up to the individual to decide if the desire to have sex with another person is rooted in expectations from others, or for personal interest.

I’ve had a lot of sex most of it wanted, some of it emphatically not, and some of it falling into an uncomfortable grey area.

I’m going to give examples of some of my sexual encounters, because humans are exceptional pattern matchers, and this is a very difficult and complex concept to express verbally. Usually it would be the kind of thing you learn from experience, first or second hand. So, here’s some experiences, second hand.

As an example of “enthusiastic consent,” there was a man I knew in college, let’s call him Kismet. Kismet and I had a very fraught relationship. We never dated, and in fact were rivals in our software development department. We had more shouting matches than not, about what constitutes meaningful fucking technical comments, primarily.

We also had a lot of extremely aggressive sex. We both looked forward to it at the end of long projects, and as I was something of a slut at the time, I enjoyed flirting shamelessly with pretty boys and girls in front of him as foreplay. When we fucked, it was with extreme desire on both our parts. We were hot college kids with a lot of emotions and shit. It was everything your entry level consent education courses say it should be: freely given, reversible, informed, enthusiastic, explicit, specific.

I would consider that the kind of gold standard that a lot of people imagine, but it’s only one way to have consensual sex.

As another example of consent, I was a popular “practice partner” in school. I always happily agreed to let other queer kids use my body as a way to explore their own desires. It was fun. I wasn’t attracted to most of them, in fact I only remember two of them out of around a dozen. I doubt most of them were attracted to me, beyond the fact that I was representative of some kind of opportunity. We all had fun, learned about ourselves, and moved on. This is what consent looks like without attraction, but with enthusiasm.

I have long term partners, now. And lifelong disabling illnesses. Sometimes, we want to have sex, but it’s impossible to get the energy together to be excited by the idea of it. Sometimes, we have sex lazily or after taking my painkillers, to make the physical activity of it easier. This is what consent looks like, without enthusiasm, but with want.

I also do sex work. I was full service for a while, and that required a very different type of consent. I had no desire to sleep with my clients. Only one was even moderately attractive to me physically, and all of them were rude and condescending. But, I did want their money, and I was more than willing to provide a service to get it. So, by extension, I wanted to have sex with them, for reasons other than my own physical satisfaction.

It was the easiest work I’ve ever done, and if I hadn’t literally doubled my weight in the last 6 years, I would go back to it. Because it benefits me. This is what convent looks like with none of the trappings of desire. A choice made on the belief that it will benefit you. This is how you can want to have sex with a person, without wanting that person’s body or mind.

That’s where the bottom line of consensual sex lies for me.

Then there’s coercive rape.

That’s the name for the type of pressuring you describe. And I’ve been there too. Careless sex positivity that doesn’t adequately educate kids on what the bottom line of consent is, is one of the worst things that a victim of this kind of rape can use against themselves.

Sexual consent is, at its root, no different than contract consent or medical consent: if you’ve been lied to, or been pressured into signing, it’s not a valid deal. It’s just rape.

Knowing what consent looks like, in all its forms, can help keep kids from getting cornered into sexual experimentation they’re too young for, or too scared of, just because someone else tells them to.

But, so often, people focus on only a single form of consent, that gold standard one up there that I led with. And then every other consensual act on this list becomes a cloud of grey that covers up what consent can look like. And if you don’t know what it looks like, it’s too easy to get confused and end up lost and hurt.

The fault always lies with the rapist here (though in cases like this, many of them don’t even know they’re being rapists), but when you learn that you could have avoided it somehow, it’s very easy to say you SHOULD have avoided it, and wrack yourself with guilt.

The whole “nuanced discussions of consent will get more girls coercively raped” line of thought is fault.

By having nuanced discussions of consent, more men will realize that their behaviour is unacceptable, and more women will be given the confidence to explain exactly why it’s unacceptable.

These kinds of discussions benefit people.

If, after having been given all this information, a man still does not take “no” for an answer, then he was never operating in good faith to begin with, and needs to be kicked in the teeth and sent away until he gets his act together.

But, generally, people want to be good, and having a discussion about the myriad types of consent will help people be good.