Stages Of Grief - Tumblr Posts

Life held in loss.

Feathery moss covers most of my loss, I buried it deep, earth lovingly embraces all that grief, How far can it go, to centre the of this earth it grows, tender routes carved in idle pain, separate now from that dullset lane. Tangled within nature, every facit of its small life caresses our ancient mothers hair, cryful woes in the ocean and bitter laughter in the air. oh how i ran from that agony, that feeling I could hardly bare.

New stages of grief just dropped

Numbness

Anger

Depression

Bed rotting/Isolation

Denial

That's it. You just live in denial with the rest of these stages making another unwanted appearance every once in a while. You actually only enter the denial stage because you feel bad about ghosting everyone.

I'm actually on my apology tour right now (Blitzø I get you so much because as it turns out I am also an asshole)

„So Much For My Happy Ending“ (Kiyoomi Sakusa x Reader)

A/N: I listened to Avril Lavigne‘s song „My Happy Ending“ and it tore me apart and this OS was born.😅 I changed the story so it’s not based on a break up and bad experiences in terms of toxic relationships but on something else.

Genre: ANGST! Hurt without comfort! This is my first angst story and please don’t read it if death or this story starts to trigger you! PLEASE! MDNI!

Trigger Warnings: death, grief of a loved one

Kiyoomi Sakusa just finished another typical day of intense volleyball training for the upcoming season and heads first into the showers before anyone else.

He is always keeping an eye on the clock to come out of training as soon as he can and that behavior brought attention to his teammates.

The ravenette has been a lot more quiet recently and isolating himself from his teammates more and more since about three months now. Declining all offers on going out, not staying late for more practice and never waiting on anyone after practice usually finishes at 5 p.m.

The whole team was concerned for their introverted Outside Hitter, since he also lost weight and the dark circles under his eyes make him look empty and tired. Like a lifeless vessel that’s barely holding himself up but by the mere strings of a puppeteer.

Right now, Kiyoomi finishes getting dressed, when he saw his Captain approaching him with slow steps out of the corner of his eye.

Meian decided it would be best if he tried to approach his younger teammate with carefully chosen words. He starts lean against some of the lockers before talking to Kiyoomi.

"Hey, uh… Sakusa. You up for a game night at my place? The rest of the team is coming too. I just thought we haven’t done something together as a team in a while and maybe you will have fun.” Meian tries.

But Kiyoomi immediately turns the offer down.

"No thank you. I see and deal enough with craziness over day, I don’t need it at night too.”

Meian frowns at that, trying to convince him other wise.

"Come on, I am sure you don’t have any better things to do-“

"I said no.” Kiyoomi begins to stand up slowly and glares in anger at his Captain beneath his medical mask.

The Middle Blocker is not fazed by his sudden anger but takes a few steps back while holding his hands up in a calming matter.

"Okay okay, sorry man.”

Just as Kiyoomi wants to leave, the blonde Setter, Miya Atsumu accidentally bumps into him.

“Whoops. Sorry Omi, my bad.”

The touch of Atsumu’s arm against his own sends Kiyoomi in a rage, quickly grabbing Atsumu’s shirt before slamming him into the lockers.

The sudden loud noise startles the entire team, completely caught off guard by Kiyoomi’s very unusual behavior. They know that Sakusa is not fond of his teammates or anyone touching him but this reaction was not what they expected, it was extreme.

Atsumu grunts in pain before he starts yelling at him.

"Oi! What the hell’s ya problem-“

"Don’t you dare touch me again with your filthy germs. You stay five feet away from me at all times, don’t talk to me, don’t touch me! I don’t need to carry your diseases to other people.” The curly-haired ravenette glares daggers into Atsumu’s face.

The Setter returns the anger before pushing his teammate off of him.

"Ya know what? Yer have been a real pain in the ass lately, I get that cha don’ like it when people touch ya but ya need to calm yer ass down! Ya been actin’ worse than me in mah teenage years!” Atsumu growls at him.

"Hey hey you two, calm down-“ Bokuto stands between the Setter and the Outside Hitter, before someone seriously gets hurt.

Without saying anything, the ravenette hastily grabs his stuff and leaves the locker room in a rush.

"I wonder what’s going on, he’s like his complete opposite and he never loses his cool like that.“ Their Libero proclaims.

The rest of the team agrees with the light-haired teammate.

Flipping to the next page in the book you’re currently reading, your tired eyes turn to the clock on the wall. It’s already 5:36 p.m. and your lover still hasn’t turned up. You hope he is okay, usually he is always on time at 5:15 p.m. to come and visit you after his training was over.

Closing and setting the book aside on your side table, you begin to sit up on the side of your bed.

You look up on the I.V. bag that currently has temozolomide dripping into your vein on your arm. Letting out a deep sigh, you begin to stand up but your body immediately tells you to stop as you lose your balance and fall down on the bedside again. Huffing out in annoyance now, you try to hold your grip on the infusion stand and holt yourself up.

As you were taking a few shaky steps, you hear your door open.

Looking up in curiosity, your eyes shine in excitement at your lover’s presence.

Kiyoomi is disinfecting his hands when his dark eyes found yours.

With a few quick steps, he is right beside you to offer help.

"My love, what are you thinking? Why didn’t you get one of the nurses?” He scolds you gently.

You shrug off his scolding and begin to explain.

"I needed to use the restroom and I don’t want to bother the nurses. They already have so much to do and I was afraid you weren’t going to show up, so I decided to do it myself.”

Your fiancé opens the bathroom door for you, making sure you get in safely and having the Infusion stand not scratching up the frame of the bathroom door.

"Please call me if you need anything.”

“Will do my love, thank you.”

Breathing out deeply, Sakusa walks back to your bed and sinks back into the chair right next to the bed. Rubbing his face with his rough hands, he wishes he could have come sooner to see you.

A few minutes later, he hears the sound of the toilet flushing and the running water of the sink.

Opening the door again, you see Kiyoomi with his hands on his face, looking extremely tired.

You frown at your lover‘s stance, walking with careful steps while still having the infusion stand in your hand.

Whispering his name gently, the ravenette looks up to you with red eyes, fresh tears staining his pale cheeks.

Running your fingers through his locks, you grab both of his cheeks, gently wiping away his tears.

As you give him a small smile, you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him towards you, while Kiyoomi hugs your fragile body.

Two months later, the Outside Hitter stands on the balcony of your shared apartment in the freezing night, staring ahead, as he remembers your last breath you took after saying ‚I love you‘ one last time.

Kiyoomi looks up into the cold star-filled sky, his breath visible to the naked eye.

He scoffs under his breath and feels his eyes getting watery.

"So much for my happy ending with you, huh (Y/N)?”

@rukia-uchiha-98

Sometimes you have to accept the struggle before you can really move forward.

You never know when the last photo you take of someone will be the last final photo.

Funerals are not for the dead; they’re for the living.

I live in a world that wants to tell me that I should be “over it” by now.

People want me to be as I was before the grief. If they truly understood grief. They would know that, that is not possible.

People want me to be joyous and celebrate life. They think that grief has an expiration date. If they truly understood the devastation of grief they wouldn’t be pushing me to celebrating life.

If you were still here we’d be talking daily. But, it’s been 15 days since we last spoke. My heart breaks every morning and night now that you’re gone.

I miss you with every breath and cell in my body. I keep wondering when I’ll wake up from this nightmare. I live in a world where you no longer exist.

When I think of you it brings tears. I hold my breath trying to focus my mind elsewhere. I do not want to cry in public and cause attention. I wear the pain invisibly as I think fondly of you. I know someday I will be able to think of you without tears.

For the truly broken hearted. There is no closure. You can accept and understand. But, it doesn’t mean you are ever ok with how it turned out. There is no acceptance in grief.

Where did my zest for life go? It died when you did.

Ah yes, the 5 stages of grief: denial, bargaining, bargaining, anger, and bargaining. Very nice

REVERSE TROPE WRITING PROMPTS

Too many beds

Accidentally kidnapping a mafia boss

Really nice guy who hates only you

Academic rivals except it’s two teachers who compete to have the best class

Divorce of convenience

Too much communication

True hate’s kiss (only kissing your enemy can break a curse)

Dating your enemy’s sibling

Lovers to enemies

Hate at first sight

Love triangle where the two love interests get together instead

Fake amnesia

Soulmates who are fated to kill each other

Strangers to enemies

Instead of fake dating, everyone is convinced that you aren’t actually dating

Too hot to cuddle

Love interest CEO is a himbo/bimbo who runs their company into the ground

Nursing home au

- the phases of the moon speak with the stages of grief -

1.

The Loss: {silence}

The New Moon: {silence}

The Loss: Is this the end?

The New Moon: I suppose it depends on where you start. For some, this is the beginning. For others, this is the end.

The Loss: {silence}

The New Moon: {silence}

The Loss: It is so dark.

The New Moon: I know.

The Loss: {silence}

The New Moon: The ache will come in waves. The tides are always highest when the loss is new or full.

The New Moon: {silence}

The Loss: {silence}

2.

Shock & Denial: This is not the end.

Waxing Crescent: No, I suppose this is just the beginning.

Shock & Denial: The darkness cannot last.

Waxing Crescent: The darkness is eternal. It is the light that must fade eventually.

Shock & Denial: This is not the end.

Waxing Crescent: No, I suppose a cycle cannot end, but nor can it begin. For some things are forever.

3.

Pain & Guilt: It hurts

First Quarter: It will not last.

Pain & Guilt: Perhaps it should. Perhaps this is what I deserve.

First Quarter: Why?

Pain & Guilt: I could have...

First Quarter: You could not have. There are some things you cannot change. There are some things that are meant to happen. They cannot be stopped. I would know.

Pain & Guilt: It hurts.

First Quarter: For now. For this is just a phase

4.

Anger & Bargaining: If I promise to change, do you think life will return?

Waxing Gibbous: Do you think you can change?

Anger & Bargaining: Perhaps if life came back.

Waxing Gibbous: You can not barter with life or with the light. You will change when you are meant to. When you are ready. And they will come and go when they are meant to. When they are ready.

Anger & Bargaining: And who are they to get to say? Who are you?

Waxing Gibbous: I am but a phase. I am but the part of the moon the light is meant to hold tonight.

Anger & Bargaining: I would have given my light for theirs.

Waxing Gibbous: Light is light. It belongs to no one. It is not yours. It was not theirs. And who are you to command the light?

Anger & Bargaining: {silence}

Waxing Gibbous: {silence}

Anger & Bargaining: I am but a phase. I am temporary. The light will leave me too.

Waxing Gibbous:  But it has not yet.

5.

Depression: Is this the end?

Full Moon: I suppose it depends on where you start. For some, this is the beginning. For others, this is the end.

Depression: I think I would like for this to be the end.

Full Moon: But look how far you’ve come.

Depression: I think I would rather return to before the beginning.

Full Moon: But look, you are already almost there.

Depression: I don’t know if I will make it. I feel so empty.

Full Moon: But look at how full you are of sorrow.

Depression: {silence}

Full Moon: The ache will come in waves. The tides are always highest when the loss is new or full.

6.

The Upward Turn: I feel lighter. I do not understand why. For there is more darkness here than there was before.

Waning Gibbous: The darkness does not always have to be heavy. Sometimes the darkness is a mercy. Sometimes it is a chance to start again.

The Upward Turn: I don’t know if I am ready to start again without them. Not yet.

Waning Gibbous: Not yet. Not before you are ready. You must trust the light will turn when it is time

The Upward Turn: It still hurts.

Waning Gibbous: It will. for this love is not a phase, but this sorrow is.

7.

Reconstruction & Working Through: This is not the end.

Third Quarter: No, this is not.

Reconstruction & Working Through: There is more to life than the way it ends.

Third Quarter: Yes, there is.

Reconstruction & Working Through: There are ways to remember others without forgetting yourself. Life lies beyond this. I feel it.

Third Quarter: You must strive to find revival in the darkness. You must trust the light will come for you even when you cannot see it.

Reconstruction & Working Through: Even in the aftermath of loss. I will strive to rebuild a life in which their memory will last. A life worthy of the light to return to.

Third Quarter: It is not about being worthy. It never was. It is about spending your time well while you have it. It is about not wasting away worrying about the next phase but just existing in this one. And trusting the light will hold you and have you and leave you exactly when it is meant to. Do you trust?

Reconstruction & Working Through: I am trying to.

Third Quarter: Then that is enough.

8.

Acceptance & Hope: Is this the end?

Waning Crescent: People tell me that I am the end, and yet in all my years I have not felt like the end. I have not yet met it but I do not think it looks like this.

Acceptance & Hope: No, I do not think it looks like this either. But what comes after this?

Waning Crescent: I have heard rebirth comes after this. That it lays in the darkness. In the unknown.

Acceptance & Hope: And I will be rebirthed into a new life in which they are gone. Do you not fear the day when the light does not return for you?

Waning Crescent: Not anymore. For today is not that day. Perhaps, tomorrow, when the light leaves, she will not return. But today, she is not done with me yet.

Acceptance & Hope: No, not yet.

Waning Crescent: Not yet.

There is no timeline to how one endures pain;

So here I am, re-reading these letters— enduring.

fourth stage, you know what it is.

Last stage: nearing that goodbye.