The Batfam Dressing Up For Halloween. Bruce Lets Them, Under The Condition That They Still Wear Enough

The Batfam dressing up for Halloween. Bruce lets them, under the condition that they still wear enough of their uniforms that people are able to recognize them

Nightwing- He owns a sexy maid outfit for this night only. Nobody believes he only wears it one night a year. Despite the fact that he does

Red Hood- His old Robin costume. Complete with cobwebs and smudges of dirt to make it look like he's a ghost. Yes, he's breaking Batman's rule, but he doesn't care

Orphan and Spoiler- They switch uniforms. The bright purple, snarky hero being silent and able to appear out of nowhere is almost as terrifying as the normally silent shadow speaking and giggling

Red Robin- He wanders Gotham covered in blood. Everyone preys it's fake blood. No one's had the guts to ask

Signal- He has a collection of slasher flick masks. He likes to go through the batcave and pick out weapons to match each mask

Robin- He doesn't want to dress up. At all. Dick convinces him to at least wear cat ears

Batman- He put large googly eyes over the lenses on his mask. The people he busts that night have never been more scared in their lives

Headcanon that when Tim first started as Robin, he promised himself that he wouldn't die like Jason, and then proceeded to live out of sheer force of will.

He gets shot in the heart or blown to smithereens, and fifteen seconds later, he is picking himself off the floor like it's another Tuesday. Won't even acknowledge it happened. The type of guy to slap a bandaid on a stab wound and walked away with a flat line on a monitor.

He lives out of spite, solely so he can look at his siblings and go "Well, at least I didn't die" whenever one of them annoys him. With the amount of improbable stunts Tim pulls, Damian doesn't even think he is human anymore.

(Bruce loves his son, but sometimes he adds holy water into the coffee maker just so he can be sure Tim did not join the demon realm. Jason is less subtle about pulling Tim into churches to see if he will burn and melt. He does it a grand total of 7 times before Dick hosts an intervention about how loving your brother means you have to stop trying to exorcise him.)

sometimes, alfred isnt around to do the grocery shopping / is sick. theyre all adults though, they can buy their own food

it’s easier to go grocery shopping after patrol, when there arent as many people around in stores

that means they go buy groceries in costume because going home to switch clothes and then come back to shop is such a waste of effort when all you want to do is crash into your bed and sleep for hours

on one such occasion: the red hood and nightwing walked into a walmart, already arguing (”we’re not getting fucking 10 boxes of cereal, screw you–” “you won’t survive the winter.” “–you can have one.”)

they bought vegetables and fruits at the red hood’s insistence. also a strange amount of corn?? and cat and dog food.

they stopped at the milk section. “what percent of milk does A usually buy?” “uh. the normal percent?” “fucking shit.” they spent the next 15 minutes trying to deduce what kind of milk batman would like based on his personality. (”listen, i’m certain it’s whole milk.” “no, that asshole would absolutely buy organic gotham milk to support the local farmers or whatever.”)

“fuck.” “what?” “is robin vegan or vegetarian.”

neither of them remember so they end up arguing about vegan options while already holding two milk cartons (whole & nonfat; “listen, if they want something in the middle, they can just mix these in a glass, it’ll be fine.”) “almond milk sounds promising.” “what if he’s allergic to nuts?” “soy then.” “no, bad memories. coconut.” “the milk isn’t for you anyway, you asshole.”

after they decide on one almond, one coconut, they realise they have to choose if they want the milk to be sweetened or not.

cue another 15 minute argument deducing milk preferences based on personality

the coconut ends up being unsweetened (”it seems like it’d already be sweet, right?”), while the almond would be sweetened.

a long pause. “is anyone lactose intolerant?” “i hate you.”

as theyre looking at the lactose free options for milk, around 10 minutes in, the red hood exclaims, “fuck, the vegan options already are lactose free!” nightwing startles, but seems too tired to even reprimand him.

its 6 am

theyve been here for 2 hours

they buy 4 milk containers, a shitload of fruits and veggies, animal food and 10 boxes of cereal.

the red hood is not amused

(damian really starts liking almond milk and refuses to drink any other version.)

I am OBSESSED with how you draw timmy. hes a little guy. he’s mentally unstable. HES A PATHETIC WET LOSER. he bites. just chefs kiss

thank you so much! that is Exactly how i see timmy in my head

yes he can hack the nuclear codes with his left hand, no he has no basic surivial skills at the sauces and condiments isle

My firm and very sincere belief that Tim Drake and Damian Wayne are the brothers that completely affirm each others paranoia fuelled contingencies for really inane situations. Its the most irritating thing ever. Like Damian will say “what if this girl scout is really just a means for someone to poison us” and Tim will instantly say “you’re so right, we need to do a homeland security level background check on the entire girl scouts chapter in gotham immediately”. The definition of bring out the worst in each other.

They’re not allowed to be in any living situation together without supervision because the last time they were left alone in the manor together, they literally created such stringent security measures that not even Alfred and Bruce could get into the house.

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