Jason Wayne - Tumblr Posts

Kevlarsjäl by kent is extremely ‘Bruce thinking about Jason after his death’ coded but it’s also ‘Jason thinking about Bruce before he told him about being alive’ coded and you need to listen to the song because it’s also genuinely really good.

Jason: I don’t even use tubberware anymore. Damian: What are you saying? Say it again. Jason: Tubberware. Damian: Say it again. Slow. Jason: Tubberware. Damian: Slow, very slow - actually, say the first syllable. Jason: Tub. Damian: Wrong. Jason: What do you mean, wrong? Damian: I thought I caught that. You’re saying tub. It’s P. Jason: What are you talking about? Damian: Tupperware. Tupper. Jason: It’s tupper! Damian: It’s tupper, always has been, always will be. Jason: I thought it was tubberware because it kind of looks like a tub.

Check it out

Shout out to @p0ssym1lker for my new thirst of super tall jazz and "i fight like a Iike a rabid badger danny". didn't know I needed this in my life but here we are.

The scene for my Funsized and Feral prompt yesterday. This one is long y'all. The writing goblin would not let go.

I might make a few more under the same AU. There was far more world building in this than i intended. Meh. We will see.

I dont know how to link past posts so if someone knows please help.

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Jason could confidently say that Dead End Cafe was his new favorite place to eat.

The place was quirky, the small family that owned even more so, but oddly enough, it managed to fit into the little nook in Crime Ally without seeming out of place.

The shop and family had popped up out of nowhere about a year and a half ago. Bought out a whole block of crime ally that had been condemned for god knows how long (a two story shop, with two small buildings behind it.) And they had set up FAST.

Like big money fast.

Suddenly there was a nice little cartoony ghost theme Cafe with a house above and two small warehouses behind it with unknown contents. It screamed suspicious.

Jason had dug into the purchase and found it was infact, big money, two different sources. The head scratcher was that it was legitimate big money. The area had been bought under three names:

Daniel J. Manson-Foley-Fenton

Samantha A. Manson-Foley-Fenton

Tucker R. Manson-Foley-Fenton

It was clean. All of it. Apparently, a group of three high-school sweethearts, two of which were heirs to some pretty wealthy families) had decided that they were gonna move to Gotham and open a quaint little cafe in Crime Ally..... right.

He send a request to Tim to dig a bit deeper(fucker owed him a favour). Then proceeded to stake out the place as both Red hood and Jason.

Nothing. Not a damn thing. Apparently, the two warehouses were a greenhouse and a makeshift garage. He had searched all the electronic files (with Tim AND Barbara help!) Still nothing.

Samantha apparently liked to garden enough that she was willing to help feed all of Crime ally with it.

Tucker on the other hand, doubled as both a video game designer and someone who Timmy himself said he wanted in Wayne Inc. R&D (His current project was a prosthetic arm that was supposed to be better then anything on the market for people who lived in harsh environments? Notes about getting someone nicknamed Frostbite to help test them?)

The only odd thing that all three of them could find was that apparently, Daniel's parents believed they were ghost hunters. After digging further, Tim found that the whole town was ghost themed. (A tourist trap, which honestly explained the cafe theme). They did, however, make a large sum of money through patented inventions.

Honestly, so long as they were not doing anything in supervillain territory, Jason didn't care what they wasted their money on.

In a last ditch effort to find something, ANYTHING at this point. (This was actually starting to bug him, even the food they tested was clean, like "cleaner then you find in most of Gothams fast food places Jason" clean... he did not need that info replacement thanks.)

He evently caved and went inside the Cafe as Jason Todd.

The inside of the Cafe was just as weird as the rest of it. A mix of techno, Gothic punk, and peppy cartoon ghost that just... worked?

It was nice honestly, it was homey, but had a fun theme. It was the type of Cafe you looked for in the higher end of Gotham when you acted something different but still "upscale".

It should have felt out of place. But it didn't. The room was inviting, the food smelt delicious, there was a reading corner, the walls with hanging plants. It was nice. Too nice. Nice things like this didn't survive in Crime Ally. Jason knew that better them most.

Deep in thought, Jason nearly had a heart attack when a young voice spoke up.

"You smell funny"

Jason blinked before look down. Yep, that was a small child. A small three maybe four year old child who looked like a tiny female version of one Daniel M.F. Fenton.

"Um what?" Jason asked slightly thrown. Where had she come from?

The small girl barely came past Jason's knee but she still looked him dead in the eye before stating innocently,

"You smell funny, you're like the stinky piles that Cujo make in the yard."

Jason was pretty sure he just got told he's a peice of shit.

"ELLIE LILITH" a voice rang out.

Speak of the devil, Jason watched as Daniel rounded the counter walking quickly up to his.. daughter? (There had not been a kid mentioned in his files)

"You apologize right this second young lady, that was very rude" Daniel scolded.

"But mama it's true, like Cujo" EIlie protested.

(Maybe not a he) Jason thought as he watched the pair with an odd sense of bewildered amusement.

"Cujo" he asked looking at Daniel.

The man? looked mortified "our dog" was the reply before turning back to further scold the girl.

Jason definitely just got called a peice of shit.

(Well damn) he thought watching the back inforth between parent and daughter (kid might make a Gothamite after all)

in the end Ellie had given a half hearted apology about "sorry for calling the stinky man funny" before running off leaving Jason to talk with a horrified Daniel "please call me danny and our last name is a mouthfull" Fenton.

Apparently he was infact he/him being called mama was a thing form thier home town. Danny said he was cool with it so jason shrugged and accepted as another family quirk.

Jason had left the cafe that day with mixed feelings. Apparently, three highschool sweet hearts really had set up a quaint cafe in Crime Ally.... huh.

It was a nice place one Jason would like to go back to. But as stated earlier, nice places didn't last long in crime ally. The cafe would most likely be packed up and gone in a month.

The cafe was not gone in a month.

Or two, or three. By month four crime ally had slowly started to accept Dead End cafe as a neutral area similar to Dr. Leslie's clinic. They gave good food at prices that everyone was aware would run a normal business into the ground and treated everyone who came in like family. (It was almost scary how Danny never seemed to forget a name)

By month five Jason gave the kids that ran in his circles the ok to trust the Fentons. By month eight Dead End was declared off limits for robbery and gang fights. (petty crime may run rampant in gotham but even the roughest of gothamites won't mess with a place that gives freely without discrimination or a risk of cops).

By the first year, most of the gangs and small time thugs had accepted the Fentons as theirs and kept an eye out. They may not be able to stop the big names, but like hell thier favorite cafe was getting robbed by some upstart.

Jason can clearly remember sitting in his favorite spot with a book a little after the one year mark when one of the regulars had stopped Tucker. The whole cafe had seemed to hush as the mood in the cafe shifted.

"Look" said the guy (Jason was pretty sure he recently he had recently been working for Penguin) " it been bugging quite a few of us recently and we were hoping to talk with the two of you's" he raised his chin towards Sam who was also on the floor, (a rare day both Danny and Ellie were not in the shop).

"We know the two of you's can handle yourselves."

(Understatement, Tucker was built like Jason and was a good three inches taller with a mean right hook. Sam had been jumped a few times before the off limits and the damage she left was actully more the the average bat.)

"But more often then not its just your boy and your ankle bitter here. (Ellie has, in fact, a bit four different peoples ankles) "he's a real sweetheart that one, but fight wise he looks like a stiff wind would push him over." Jason could see a few others in the cafe nodding along. "Me and a few of the others have been doing some rounds when we can but it's not hard to see that the two of you are not on the floor often. We know you both do hard work at those shops of your, we appreciate it really, but it also leave a large amount of time when they aren't protected. It's practically an invitation to bastards looking for a quick buck." The man looked from both Tucker to Sam then back to Tucker. "We's was hoping to set up a chart with you when you won't be here. It won't be perfect but alot of us would feel alot better if Ma Fenton wasn't by himself so often."

Ma Fenton. It had been a bit odd for some of the people to get used to the fact that Danny was mama, and Sam was Papa. However, after they got used to it, it seemed to catch. Because unintentionally, Danny had become a parental figure to alot of people. He had a presence that made you feel safe and content. You needed advice? young or old danny had an ear ready and a plate of hot food. He was almost a foot smaller then both his partners, sweet and honestly not hard on the eyes. More then a few flirted him in passing (Jason was pretty sure that the ankles Ellie targeted were not random.... good on the brat.)

Danny was bright. Way to bright for Gotham. Jason might start swinging by at different times as well.

Jason had been about offer up his help with making a schedule when Tucker spoke up.

"Wow, um, so that's really thoughtful of you guys and by all means if it makes you guys feel better go for it." Tucker looked like he was struggling to find words glancing at an amused Sam. "There seems to have been a small misunderstanding" she said taking over.

"You see" Sam said grinning " it might not be Gotham but Amity Park had a unwritten rules of its own." Sam slowly moved towards the man that had stopped Tucker, all eyes in the cafe following. "Don't wander the graveyards." Step. "Don't go into the corn fields alone" Step. "Some of them were just for fun, don't sit under the willow tree in center park on a full moon". Sam stopped in front of the man, the room absolutely charged with tension despite how ridiculous the "rules" sounded.

"There were three rules that were made the day the Fentons set up shop in Amity. They were jokes when they first started but everyone and their dog new them as law by the time we moved here."

Sam's voice lost it's hard edge as she started to list. "One, if you need a hand, get a Fenton. There is no family in Amity more willing to help then the Fentons". The Room lot some of its tension as Sam huffed a laugh. " these rules are not limited to Amity by the way". The man (Jason really should get a name) rolled his eyes but still nodded in agreement.

"Two" Sam's soft smile became a mean looking smirk. "Don't not ever, and I mean ever. fuck with an angry Fenton". Sam's smirk seemed to grow as the disbelief showed on the faces around her.

"I'm serious" she had said. "The number of times Tucker and I had to drag Danny away from a fight because someone threated one of us. Angry Fentons can be down right feral. The last place you want to be is in-between an angry Fenton and thier target."

Sam shook her head as she grabbed the empty dishes off the table, walking to the back. "Make a schedule if you wish, Tucker and I will help as best we can. But Danny isn't nearly as helpless as he seems."

"What's the last one" a different regular called out. Sam stopped, turning to face them. "Last one of what"? She asked.

"You said there were three rules, what's the third?" They asked.

Sam just shook her head before turning back to the kitchen. "Sorry" she called back. "But that one is an Amity only rule"

They had set up a schedule.

It was a good one. The guys on the list had joked it was more like a scheduled break time then a guard duty. The few small time thugs that didn't care about the off limits rule weren't stupid enough to attack with the number of known fighters they had rotating through.

Key words being small time thugs.

Almost a year and a half on the dot Jason could admit they may have miscalculated and Sam may have been pretty spot-fucking-on about calling her husband "feral".

The cafe has been packed. It was mid lunch rush on a cold day. Jason sat in his usual spot, a now four year old ankle bitter to his left. (What not stinky today? Your getting better)

It started with a loud bang, the sound cutting over top of the crowded sounds. The clanging of pots hitting the ground caused the cafe to quite down. others starting to notice something was wrong, several people rising to take a look.

A shrill scream silenced the cafe completely, multiple people drawing weapons. Jason pulled Ellie to his other side shielding her as the sounds of a fight started up. (The back!! they didn't have anyone guarding the back today). Jason did his best to take control of the situation without exposing Ellie.

"You three get in a close as you can, don't shoot until you know you won't hit Danny, the rest of you guard those without a weapon. If you don't have a weapon get the hell against the wall and the fuck out of the way!"

People were scrambling to get to thier spots as the three Jason had first ordered were already at the kitchen door. Henry (Jason had learned the names of the guys he had on shift) pushed open the door, gun at the ready, only to be pushed right out of the way as the God damn fucking JOKER of all people pushed past him, around the counter and into the room.

There was a moment of horrified silence as everyone registered who was in the room.

Jason was panicked. The green that he had never felt in the cafe before started to rise. Taking in the Joker as he heaved for breath looking far more deranged than standard. Fuck Bruce, Fuck the no kill rule, if the Joker had hurt Danny he was DEAD.

Jason prepared to shoot as quiet as he could. The Joker wasn't paying attention to him yet, but the sound of a cocking gun would definitely get it. (He shouldn't have brought his old single shot pistol. What was he thinking?!) He could not risk Ellie behind him. He could do this. He just had to be quick, cock the pistol, aim, fire.

Jason took a breath, eyes green and locked on the Joker. Breathing out he whipped the gun up, cocking it with his other hand, only to freeze as unholy SHRIEK sounded as the kitchen door SLAMMED open.

Danny M.other F.ucking Fenton, in all his 5'1" glory, stood at the kitchen door cast-iron frying pan in hand, glaring at the Joker with a force that made the worst of Bruce's batglares look tame. In the time it took Jason to blink, Danny had thrown himself up onto, and off the counter, into the Joker, in what Jason swears was was the most beautifully executed fully body flying tackle he has ever seen.

What followed after that can only be described as a fight between two rabid badgers.

There was hair pulling, scratching, biting,(Jason now knew where Ellie got THAT from) at one point in the fight a few poor schmucks had actually unfrozen long enough to attempt to pull Danny away from the crazy mass murderer, only to be hissed at. Honest to God hissed at.

It was wild, Danny at one point had the Joker pinned and was just going town. (for someone so small he had a nasty looking punch.) He counted at least two chairs being thrown, three tables, and one cup. Danny even took a whole chunk of hair out. (It was still there on the floor, no one wanted to touch it.)

The fight didn't end, so much as move on when the Joker finally managed to throw Danny off long enough for him to run. He actually ran. away. from DANNY. The same Danny who after getting his footing saw the fucking JOKER running away. Scooped up his frying pan and ran AFTER him.

No one in the cafe moved. No one knew what do. They had seen fights ok. They had seen alot of fights, but the level of absolute FERAL that they just witnessed was a new level. Even more then that people were trying to align the sweet,happy, looks like he couldn't hurt a fly Danny with the I maybe possessed by a demon with rabies Danny that just took a literal bite out of the Joker.

They stayed frozen until Danny came back to the cafe. Smiling like he did normally everyday, Danny had taken one look around the cafe, apologized for the scare, and asked if there was "anyone willing to help him move the four men in the kitchen that defiantly need medical attention out" and "not to worry about the blood stains he would deal with those after he changed."

Jason himself was still partly dazed when Ellie spoke up curiously from behind him. "Mama did you kill the mean clown man?"

Jason (and everyone else in the cafe) turned to look at Danny.

Danny who had stopped at the bottom of the stairs leading to the house.

Danny who's hair was a mess, clothes rumpled and torn.

Danny, who's "I'm not small im fun-sized" apron, was splattered with red, and who's favorite frying pan matched.

Danny, who smiled back at them and made the same sentence that normally brought relief, sound like a threat.

"He'll live".

Well that was way longer then I meant it to be. Have you actual chapter? At 3am? cause I could not stop writing? Sorry for any mistakes but i am to tired to catch any more xD good night all!

DP x DC prompt - Haunted Doll

Danny is injured (due to some reason or another) and needs to take refuge somewhere safe. He ends up occupying a doll to hide from his parents/GIW. That doll is picked up by Jason Todd.

Jason Todd loves that doll.

The rest of his family, not so much.

In short, Danny ends up possessing a doll, unintentionally making it creepy. Jason sees it as a regular, cute doll. The rest of the batfam sees it as an Annabelle-esque creature.

(There's more discussions on the dead on main discord)

Damian: What? I'm not aggressive! Jason: Last Tuesday, you whacked me with a pair of crocs and stole my chocolate chips? Damian: Survival of the fittest.

Jazz kept her footsteps light as she walked down the dark cave. Eyes vigilant for any bat or bird that may lurking with in Batman's lair. She didn't have too many in his flock to worry about. Sam and Dani, on bird watching duty, spotted almost all of them out on parole.

Danny had found the batcave's location during a perivious family vacation. His old enemy, boredom, had gotten the better of him, leading to a night wandering. Jazz didn't know back then that that info would be vital to her now.

Looking over her costume, Jazz reminded herself to put on an air of confidence. She had to act like she belonged in the batcave. The person she was impersonating belonged in the batcave. Jerking her shoulders back, she strolled around the last bend into the main area of the batcave.

She felt relief wash over her at it being empty. Not a bird or bat insight.

Jazz pressed a hand to the fenton com in her ear, "Any more alarms, cameras, or traps?"

"Nope." Tuck replied, "You only need to worry about not being spotted from this point on."

"Is Blackbat still making her rounds?"

"Yeah," Sam answered, "I spotted her and Nightwing going after some guys that did a smash and grab. You've got some time to put Tuck's tumbdrive in Batman's computer, but don't dilly dally."

"Wasn't planning on it."

Dani pipped up, "Hurry up, Jazz. I want to tell Danny about how we pulled one on thee Batman as soon as possible."

Jazz smiled softly at her little sister's enthusiasm, "Yeah, me too."

Quickly making her through the cave, past a small bouquet of blood blossoms, Jazz found the control board to the batcomputer. She hit the space bar, and the screens lit up to a locked desktop.

'Get ready to hack," she said, inserting the thumb drive into a port."

Tucker replied, "Ready."

Jazz tapped her fingers on the edge of the control board as Tucker took control of the bat computer on his end.

"Alright, this take one- ah got it." The screen unlocked as Tuck successfully hacked through its security measures. "Okay, now for- Hey! Jazz, is that you?"

"Yeah, just give me a moment," She muttered, opening a random file. She clicked on the window that opened and dragged it to a monitor that left it out of Tucker's way.

"Okay, and what was that for?"

"What's what for?" Dani ask.

"Jazz is opening random shit." Tucker explained.

Jazz looked up at the caves ceiling and blew at the dark bangs of her wig, "It's a red herring in case we get caught."

The next few moments were filled with idle chatter while Tucker sifted through the bat computer.

A motorcycle's engine revved throughout the batcave, and Jazz felt her heart stop.

"Tuck," she hiss.

Tucker's voice could barely be heard over the bikes rumble. "Only need a few more minutes."

"Hurry," she breathed as the motorcycle's engine cut off. Shifting her posture and keeping her back to the newcomer, she pretended to read the decoy file on the screen. To her amounting horror, the sound of footsteps came closer as the person left the bike.

"Cass." A deep voice greeted, "you're back early."

Jazz didn't know who 'Cass' was, but since there were only two people in this cave, she assumed he was talking to her. She lifted a hand and gave a half-hearted wave.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, and Jazz gestured to the file.

He tossed an arm over her shoulder and leaned on her. Should she push his arm off? Elbow him? Take a step away? Let it be? How the heck would Blackbat react to this?

Jazz let her eyes glance to him and had to suppress a reaction to the red helmet under his other arm.

That's Red Hood!

Red Hood was in the batcave.

Oh, Ancients. Out of all of Batman's associates, why did it they have to be the shooty one.

"That's the case Replacement is working on. Are you helping him?"

Jazz nodded, feeling her jaw brush his arm. Please don't knock off the wig. Please, not the wig.

"Yes," Tuck cried from the coms, "I'm done get out of there." Jazz didn't need to be told twice. She took a step away from Red Hood. He let her go call out to Timberly on his own coms about the red herring case.

After removing the thumbdrive, Jazz managed to get to the stairs when RedHood's next question made her freeze.

"What do you mean you're with Cass? But, she's..." Jazz bloted. Red Hood curse followed her as she threw herself over the railing onto a platform with a bike on it. She landed in a roll.

Red Hood shot at her once missing as she got to her feet. Pulling a bobby pin from her hair, booked to the bike. Time to see if she can remember how Johnny hot wired that one bike he took her joyrideing on.

She threw a leg over the bike and saw that she didn't need to remember. The keys were in the bike. Why the heck were the keys in the ignition? Who just left them there? In Gotham?

Jazz didn't have time to think about it. She turned the bike on and zipped away. Red Hood fireing his gun at her.

She got halfway over the catwalk, leading to the exit when pain exploded over her right shoulder, almost jerking her off the bike. Ow, ow, ow her shoulder hurt. Getting shot sucks. How did Danny put up with this?

The bike swerved to the side as she recoiled from the pain, and Jazz had to swivel it back from almost going over the edge.

Red Hood took more shots at her till she made a turn around the cave's bend. Then alarms stared, blaring out.

"Get me out of here!" She barked at Tucker.

"On it. Okay, okay. I got the exit- ah shit."

"What?"

"I'm being hacked. Oh, they're good, but I'm better."

"Just keep the exit open."

"Consider it done."

Jason: they never leave me alone for like 5 min

check this out:

I found out that dick isn't the only person Damian takes after. Apparently he picks up on Jason too.

it's Bully Him hours

Breaking news! Vicky Vale leaks footage of Brucie Wayne following the new teenage rogue 'Phantom' around the city saying "Please let me adopt you 😭"

Phantom refuses and saying he's a supervillian not a lost puppy.

Turns out this was a part of Bruces plan however as Phantom now sees people all over tv talking about him and the Waynes and already considering him a new member of the family. They're even asking when there will be a face reveal. There was a reason he was wearing a mask! He. Is.. A. Villian. What about that do these people not get?!

Sure he doesn't kill people. Or hurt people at all really. Or steal from small family owned businesses. Or...yeah ok. Just because you're a bad guy doesn't mean you have to be a bad guy, ya know? Apparently Gotham doesn't.

Cause they insist hes just a very confused hero

batboys but they’re this specific cat pic

sometimes, alfred isnt around to do the grocery shopping / is sick. theyre all adults though, they can buy their own food

it’s easier to go grocery shopping after patrol, when there arent as many people around in stores

that means they go buy groceries in costume because going home to switch clothes and then come back to shop is such a waste of effort when all you want to do is crash into your bed and sleep for hours

on one such occasion: the red hood and nightwing walked into a walmart, already arguing (”we’re not getting fucking 10 boxes of cereal, screw you–” “you won’t survive the winter.” “–you can have one.”)

they bought vegetables and fruits at the red hood’s insistence. also a strange amount of corn?? and cat and dog food.

they stopped at the milk section. “what percent of milk does A usually buy?” “uh. the normal percent?” “fucking shit.” they spent the next 15 minutes trying to deduce what kind of milk batman would like based on his personality. (”listen, i’m certain it’s whole milk.” “no, that asshole would absolutely buy organic gotham milk to support the local farmers or whatever.”)

“fuck.” “what?” “is robin vegan or vegetarian.”

neither of them remember so they end up arguing about vegan options while already holding two milk cartons (whole & nonfat; “listen, if they want something in the middle, they can just mix these in a glass, it’ll be fine.”) “almond milk sounds promising.” “what if he’s allergic to nuts?” “soy then.” “no, bad memories. coconut.” “the milk isn’t for you anyway, you asshole.”

after they decide on one almond, one coconut, they realise they have to choose if they want the milk to be sweetened or not.

cue another 15 minute argument deducing milk preferences based on personality

the coconut ends up being unsweetened (”it seems like it’d already be sweet, right?”), while the almond would be sweetened.

a long pause. “is anyone lactose intolerant?” “i hate you.”

as theyre looking at the lactose free options for milk, around 10 minutes in, the red hood exclaims, “fuck, the vegan options already are lactose free!” nightwing startles, but seems too tired to even reprimand him.

its 6 am

theyve been here for 2 hours

they buy 4 milk containers, a shitload of fruits and veggies, animal food and 10 boxes of cereal.

the red hood is not amused

(damian really starts liking almond milk and refuses to drink any other version.)

✨️🎄 merry crisis 🎄✨️

wishing the very best to everyone and i hope yallre enjoying some rest time and staying warm inside! cheers!!! 🎉🎉🎉

(captionless version of santa hood underneath)

The Jokes of the Ghost:

While de-aged, Danny stumbles into the Joker's hideout. Nothing special; it's a Clown. Well, Danny can prank him! The spirits around him all told him what they wanted to do to this clown. But no death, they don't want his ghost near Gotham, but very far away.

So Danny was causing harm with playful ghostly antics that turned the Joker's plans into comedy. Danny played pranks on the poor Joker for already one month. The Joker can't even leave the room without getting a bowling ball in his balls or a stumple to fall on his face. The money he stole is gone, the food he eats is rotten, or worse, his car is frozen solid, or his weapons are fake guns.

Much to the amusement of Gotham.

Then, one day, an angry joker and the police see who gave him all the problems. It was a meta! Dressed in a Bat Onesie.

Did I make signatures for all of them? Yes. Was it fun? Yes. Was it completely unnecessary but bugging me? Absolutely. So here you go!! Batfam signatures. (Duke and some others will be next pls don't come for me.)

Came back wrong? Nah, man. Came back BUILT.

I firmly believe that Jason Todd was the scrawniest Robin by a very wide margin (he was both short and a beanpole) he earned the nickname Little Wing by literally being a spec of a child.

Sure, all the robins were small (they’re kids) but Jason was notably scrawny.

This is why basically no one saw it coming that he was Red Hood. My man died, fucked off for four years, experienced puberty and came back 14 inches taller and built like a fridge.

Fun sized and feral AU part 1

Shout out to @p0ssym1lker for my new thirst of super tall jazz and "i fight like a Iike a rabid badger danny". didn't know I needed this in my life but here we are.

The scene for my Funsized and Feral prompt yesterday. This one is long y'all. The writing goblin would not let go.

I might make a few more under the same AU. There was far more world building in this than i intended. Meh. We will see.

I dont know how to link past posts so if someone knows please help.

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Jason could confidently say that Dead End Cafe was his new favorite place to eat.

The place was quirky, the small family that owned even more so, but oddly enough, it managed to fit into the little nook in Crime Ally without seeming out of place.

The shop and family had popped up out of nowhere about a year and a half ago. Bought out a whole block of crime ally that had been condemned for god knows how long (a two story shop, with two small buildings behind it.) And they had set up FAST.

Like big money fast.

Suddenly there was a nice little cartoony ghost theme Cafe with a house above and two small warehouses behind it with unknown contents. It screamed suspicious.

Jason had dug into the purchase and found it was infact, big money, two different sources. The head scratcher was that it was legitimate big money. The area had been bought under three names:

Daniel J. Manson-Foley-Fenton

Samantha A. Manson-Foley-Fenton

Tucker R. Manson-Foley-Fenton

It was clean. All of it. Apparently, a group of three high-school sweethearts, two of which were heirs to some pretty wealthy families) had decided that they were gonna move to Gotham and open a quaint little cafe in Crime Ally..... right.

He send a request to Tim to dig a bit deeper(fucker owed him a favour). Then proceeded to stake out the place as both Red hood and Jason.

Nothing. Not a damn thing. Apparently, the two warehouses were a greenhouse and a makeshift garage. He had searched all the electronic files (with Tim AND Barbara help!) Still nothing.

Samantha apparently liked to garden enough that she was willing to help feed all of Crime ally with it.

Tucker on the other hand, doubled as both a video game designer and someone who Timmy himself said he wanted in Wayne Inc. R&D (His current project was a prosthetic arm that was supposed to be better then anything on the market for people who lived in harsh environments? Notes about getting someone nicknamed Frostbite to help test them?)

The only odd thing that all three of them could find was that apparently, Daniel's parents believed they were ghost hunters. After digging further, Tim found that the whole town was ghost themed. (A tourist trap, which honestly explained the cafe theme). They did, however, make a large sum of money through patented inventions.

Honestly, so long as they were not doing anything in supervillain territory, Jason didn't care what they wasted their money on.

In a last ditch effort to find something, ANYTHING at this point. (This was actually starting to bug him, even the food they tested was clean, like "cleaner then you find in most of Gothams fast food places Jason" clean... he did not need that info replacement thanks.)

He evently caved and went inside the Cafe as Jason Todd.

The inside of the Cafe was just as weird as the rest of it. A mix of techno, Gothic punk, and peppy cartoon ghost that just... worked?

It was nice honestly, it was homey, but had a fun theme. It was the type of Cafe you looked for in the higher end of Gotham when you acted something different but still "upscale".

It should have felt out of place. But it didn't. The room was inviting, the food smelt delicious, there was a reading corner, the walls with hanging plants. It was nice. Too nice. Nice things like this didn't survive in Crime Ally. Jason knew that better them most.

Deep in thought, Jason nearly had a heart attack when a young voice spoke up.

"You smell funny"

Jason blinked before look down. Yep, that was a small child. A small three maybe four year old child who looked like a tiny female version of one Daniel M.F. Fenton.

"Um what?" Jason asked slightly thrown. Where had she come from?

The small girl barely came past Jason's knee but she still looked him dead in the eye before stating innocently,

"You smell funny, you're like the stinky piles that Cujo make in the yard."

Jason was pretty sure he just got told he's a peice of shit.

"ELLIE LILITH" a voice rang out.

Speak of the devil, Jason watched as Daniel rounded the counter walking quickly up to his.. daughter? (There had not been a kid mentioned in his files)

"You apologize right this second young lady, that was very rude" Daniel scolded.

"But mama it's true, like Cujo" EIlie protested.

(Maybe not a he) Jason thought as he watched the pair with an odd sense of bewildered amusement.

"Cujo" he asked looking at Daniel.

The man? looked mortified "our dog" was the reply before turning back to further scold the girl.

Jason definitely just got called a peice of shit.

(Well damn) he thought watching the back inforth between parent and daughter (kid might make a Gothamite after all)

in the end Ellie had given a half hearted apology about "sorry for calling the stinky man funny" before running off leaving Jason to talk with a horrified Daniel "please call me danny and our last name is a mouthfull" Fenton.

Apparently he was infact he/him being called mama was a thing form thier home town. Danny said he was cool with it so jason shrugged and accepted as another family quirk.

Jason had left the cafe that day with mixed feelings. Apparently, three highschool sweet hearts really had set up a quaint cafe in Crime Ally.... huh.

It was a nice place one Jason would like to go back to. But as stated earlier, nice places didn't last long in crime ally. The cafe would most likely be packed up and gone in a month.

The cafe was not gone in a month.

Or two, or three. By month four crime ally had slowly started to accept Dead End cafe as a neutral area similar to Dr. Leslie's clinic. They gave good food at prices that everyone was aware would run a normal business into the ground and treated everyone who came in like family. (It was almost scary how Danny never seemed to forget a name)

By month five Jason gave the kids that ran in his circles the ok to trust the Fentons. By month eight Dead End was declared off limits for robbery and gang fights. (petty crime may run rampant in gotham but even the roughest of gothamites won't mess with a place that gives freely without discrimination or a risk of cops).

By the first year, most of the gangs and small time thugs had accepted the Fentons as theirs and kept an eye out. They may not be able to stop the big names, but like hell thier favorite cafe was getting robbed by some upstart.

Jason can clearly remember sitting in his favorite spot with a book a little after the one year mark when one of the regulars had stopped Tucker. The whole cafe had seemed to hush as the mood in the cafe shifted.

"Look" said the guy (Jason was pretty sure he recently he had recently been working for Penguin) " it been bugging quite a few of us recently and we were hoping to talk with the two of you's" he raised his chin towards Sam who was also on the floor, (a rare day both Danny and Ellie were not in the shop).

"We know the two of you's can handle yourselves."

(Understatement, Tucker was built like Jason and was a good three inches taller with a mean right hook. Sam had been jumped a few times before the off limits and the damage she left was actully more the the average bat.)

"But more often then not its just your boy and your ankle bitter here. (Ellie has, in fact, a bit four different peoples ankles) "he's a real sweetheart that one, but fight wise he looks like a stiff wind would push him over." Jason could see a few others in the cafe nodding along. "Me and a few of the others have been doing some rounds when we can but it's not hard to see that the two of you are not on the floor often. We know you both do hard work at those shops of your, we appreciate it really, but it also leave a large amount of time when they aren't protected. It's practically an invitation to bastards looking for a quick buck." The man looked from both Tucker to Sam then back to Tucker. "We's was hoping to set up a chart with you when you won't be here. It won't be perfect but alot of us would feel alot better if Ma Fenton wasn't by himself so often."

Ma Fenton. It had been a bit odd for some of the people to get used to the fact that Danny was mama, and Sam was Papa. However, after they got used to it, it seemed to catch. Because unintentionally, Danny had become a parental figure to alot of people. He had a presence that made you feel safe and content. You needed advice? young or old danny had an ear ready and a plate of hot food. He was almost a foot smaller then both his partners, sweet and honestly not hard on the eyes. More then a few flirted him in passing (Jason was pretty sure that the ankles Ellie targeted were not random.... good on the brat.)

Danny was bright. Way to bright for Gotham. Jason might start swinging by at different times as well.

Jason had been about offer up his help with making a schedule when Tucker spoke up.

"Wow, um, so that's really thoughtful of you guys and by all means if it makes you guys feel better go for it." Tucker looked like he was struggling to find words glancing at an amused Sam. "There seems to have been a small misunderstanding" she said taking over.

"You see" Sam said grinning " it might not be Gotham but Amity Park had a unwritten rules of its own." Sam slowly moved towards the man that had stopped Tucker, all eyes in the cafe following. "Don't wander the graveyards." Step. "Don't go into the corn fields alone" Step. "Some of them were just for fun, don't sit under the willow tree in center park on a full moon". Sam stopped in front of the man, the room absolutely charged with tension despite how ridiculous the "rules" sounded.

"There were three rules that were made the day the Fentons set up shop in Amity. They were jokes when they first started but everyone and their dog new them as law by the time we moved here."

Sam's voice lost it's hard edge as she started to list. "One, if you need a hand, get a Fenton. There is no family in Amity more willing to help then the Fentons". The Room lot some of its tension as Sam huffed a laugh. " these rules are not limited to Amity by the way". The man (Jason really should get a name) rolled his eyes but still nodded in agreement.

"Two" Sam's soft smile became a mean looking smirk. "Don't not ever, and I mean ever. fuck with an angry Fenton". Sam's smirk seemed to grow as the disbelief showed on the faces around her.

"I'm serious" she had said. "The number of times Tucker and I had to drag Danny away from a fight because someone threated one of us. Angry Fentons can be down right feral. The last place you want to be is in-between an angry Fenton and thier target."

Sam shook her head as she grabbed the empty dishes off the table, walking to the back. "Make a schedule if you wish, Tucker and I will help as best we can. But Danny isn't nearly as helpless as he seems."

"What's the last one" a different regular called out. Sam stopped, turning to face them. "Last one of what"? She asked.

"You said there were three rules, what's the third?" They asked.

Sam just shook her head before turning back to the kitchen. "Sorry" she called back. "But that one is an Amity only rule"

They had set up a schedule.

It was a good one. The guys on the list had joked it was more like a scheduled break time then a guard duty. The few small time thugs that didn't care about the off limits rule weren't stupid enough to attack with the number of known fighters they had rotating through.

Key words being small time thugs.

Almost a year and a half on the dot Jason could admit they may have miscalculated and Sam may have been pretty spot-fucking-on about calling her husband "feral".

The cafe has been packed. It was mid lunch rush on a cold day. Jason sat in his usual spot, a now four year old ankle bitter to his left. (What not stinky today? Your getting better)

It started with a loud bang, the sound cutting over top of the crowded sounds. The clanging of pots hitting the ground caused the cafe to quite down. others starting to notice something was wrong, several people rising to take a look.

A shrill scream silenced the cafe completely, multiple people drawing weapons. Jason pulled Ellie to his other side shielding her as the sounds of a fight started up. (The back!! they didn't have anyone guarding the back today). Jason did his best to take control of the situation without exposing Ellie.

"You three get in a close as you can, don't shoot until you know you won't hit Danny, the rest of you guard those without a weapon. If you don't have a weapon get the hell against the wall and the fuck out of the way!"

People were scrambling to get to thier spots as the three Jason had first ordered were already at the kitchen door. Henry (Jason had learned the names of the guys he had on shift) pushed open the door, gun at the ready, only to be pushed right out of the way as the God damn fucking JOKER of all people pushed past him, around the counter and into the room.

There was a moment of horrified silence as everyone registered who was in the room.

Jason was panicked. The green that he had never felt in the cafe before started to rise. Taking in the Joker as he heaved for breath looking far more deranged than standard. Fuck Bruce, Fuck the no kill rule, if the Joker had hurt Danny he was DEAD.

Jason prepared to shoot as quiet as he could. The Joker wasn't paying attention to him yet, but the sound of a cocking gun would definitely get it. (He shouldn't have brought his old single shot pistol. What was he thinking?!) He could not risk Ellie behind him. He could do this. He just had to be quick, cock the pistol, aim, fire.

Jason took a breath, eyes green and locked on the Joker. Breathing out he whipped the gun up, cocking it with his other hand, only to freeze as unholy SHRIEK sounded as the kitchen door SLAMMED open.

Danny M.other F.ucking Fenton, in all his 5'1" glory, stood at the kitchen door cast-iron frying pan in hand, glaring at the Joker with a force that made the worst of Bruce's batglares look tame. In the time it took Jason to blink, Danny had thrown himself up onto, and off the counter, into the Joker, in what Jason swears was was the most beautifully executed fully body flying tackle he has ever seen.

What followed after that can only be described as a fight between two rabid badgers.

There was hair pulling, scratching, biting,(Jason now knew where Ellie got THAT from) at one point in the fight a few poor schmucks had actually unfrozen long enough to attempt to pull Danny away from the crazy mass murderer, only to be hissed at. Honest to God hissed at.

It was wild, Danny at one point had the Joker pinned and was just going town. (for someone so small he had a nasty looking punch.) He counted at least two chairs being thrown, three tables, and one cup. Danny even took a whole chunk of hair out. (It was still there on the floor, no one wanted to touch it.)

The fight didn't end, so much as move on when the Joker finally managed to throw Danny off long enough for him to run. He actually ran. away. from DANNY. The same Danny who after getting his footing saw the fucking JOKER running away. Scooped up his frying pan and ran AFTER him.

No one in the cafe moved. No one knew what do. They had seen fights ok. They had seen alot of fights, but the level of absolute FERAL that they just witnessed was a new level. Even more then that people were trying to align the sweet,happy, looks like he couldn't hurt a fly Danny with the I maybe possessed by a demon with rabies Danny that just took a literal bite out of the Joker.

They stayed frozen until Danny came back to the cafe. Smiling like he did normally everyday, Danny had taken one look around the cafe, apologized for the scare, and asked if there was "anyone willing to help him move the four men in the kitchen that defiantly need medical attention out" and "not to worry about the blood stains he would deal with those after he changed."

Jason himself was still partly dazed when Ellie spoke up curiously from behind him. "Mama did you kill the mean clown man?"

Jason (and everyone else in the cafe) turned to look at Danny.

Danny who had stopped at the bottom of the stairs leading to the house.

Danny who's hair was a mess, clothes rumpled and torn.

Danny, who's "I'm not small im fun-sized" apron, was splattered with red, and who's favorite frying pan matched.

Danny, who smiled back at them and made the same sentence that normally brought relief, sound like a threat.

"He'll live".

Well that was way longer then I meant it to be. Have you actual chapter? At 3am? cause I could not stop writing? Sorry for any mistakes but i am to tired to catch any more xD good night all!

Au where Jason Todd is sacrificed to the King of the Infinite Realms and, upon realizing Danny isnt actually interested in human sacrifice nonsense, immediately shoots his shot

Like this man has been reading romance novels for as long as he can remember and he absolutely refuses to let this set up go to waste. He has a strange new world, a kind but powerful king, a castle, and big ass fucking library right there.

Too bad his family didn’t get the memo and reverse summoned him back too early.

———

Jason: *finally seduced Danny and is about to initiate the “frantic sex after weeks of pining” portion of the plot*

Jason: *is summoned back*

Jason: *has hickies all over his neck, claw marks down his back, unzipped pants, and no belt*

Jason: …

Jason: I hate all of you, you cockblocking motherfuckers. I had him right there! I could have been his husband. HUSBAND!!!!!

Bruce:

Tim:

Dick: …looks like you’ve been having a better few weeks than we have.

Damian: Father, I believe this is sufficient proof for removing Todd from the family.

Jason: IF YOU FUCKING WAITED I COULD HAVE HAD A DIFFERENT ONE

Tim: sorry that we worried about you being at the mercy of an all powerful ruler of the dead???

Jason: *sighs with heart eyes* god I fucking wish. His eyes are so pretty when he’s angry 💕