Dc Red Hood - Tumblr Posts
sometimes, alfred isnt around to do the grocery shopping / is sick. theyre all adults though, they can buy their own food
it’s easier to go grocery shopping after patrol, when there arent as many people around in stores
that means they go buy groceries in costume because going home to switch clothes and then come back to shop is such a waste of effort when all you want to do is crash into your bed and sleep for hours
on one such occasion: the red hood and nightwing walked into a walmart, already arguing (”we’re not getting fucking 10 boxes of cereal, screw you–” “you won’t survive the winter.” “–you can have one.”)
they bought vegetables and fruits at the red hood’s insistence. also a strange amount of corn?? and cat and dog food.
they stopped at the milk section. “what percent of milk does A usually buy?” “uh. the normal percent?” “fucking shit.” they spent the next 15 minutes trying to deduce what kind of milk batman would like based on his personality. (”listen, i’m certain it’s whole milk.” “no, that asshole would absolutely buy organic gotham milk to support the local farmers or whatever.”)
“fuck.” “what?” “is robin vegan or vegetarian.”
neither of them remember so they end up arguing about vegan options while already holding two milk cartons (whole & nonfat; “listen, if they want something in the middle, they can just mix these in a glass, it’ll be fine.”) “almond milk sounds promising.” “what if he’s allergic to nuts?” “soy then.” “no, bad memories. coconut.” “the milk isn’t for you anyway, you asshole.”
after they decide on one almond, one coconut, they realise they have to choose if they want the milk to be sweetened or not.
cue another 15 minute argument deducing milk preferences based on personality
the coconut ends up being unsweetened (”it seems like it’d already be sweet, right?”), while the almond would be sweetened.
a long pause. “is anyone lactose intolerant?” “i hate you.”
as theyre looking at the lactose free options for milk, around 10 minutes in, the red hood exclaims, “fuck, the vegan options already are lactose free!” nightwing startles, but seems too tired to even reprimand him.
its 6 am
theyve been here for 2 hours
they buy 4 milk containers, a shitload of fruits and veggies, animal food and 10 boxes of cereal.
the red hood is not amused
(damian really starts liking almond milk and refuses to drink any other version.)
tim seems like the type of guy who is like sleep is for the weak and then sleeps for a week
Dick: *walking in to see Jason and Tim brawling* Stop! Stop! Stop. What’s going on here?
Jason: He hit me!
Tim: I didn’t mean to!!
Jason: You did!
Tim: I didn’t!
Dick: Stop. Tim what happened.
Tim: Jason apparently walked in behind me, I didn’t see him, so my coffee cup hit his face because he surprised me.
Dick: Well, that explains the dripping coffee.
Jason: *soaked* fucking disgusting, this shit is sticking to me!
Dick: Jason, cool off he didn’t mean it. Tim, be a little more careful next time.
Jason & Tim: Hmph!
Dick: *muttering on his way out* “you’re working too hard” they said. “Spend time with your family” they said. “It’ll be fun.” They said. Well guess what, Titans, next person who comes at me with that bullshit is gonna get double rounds as punishment and that goes for the team. I’m gonna…
Jason: *turning to Tim* *awkwardly* so, uh, you didn’t mean to, huh?
Tim: No, I did. 100%. Completely and absolutely. I saw you.
Jason: You said you didn’t!
Tim: I lied.
Jason: *pulling out his guns* count your fucking seconds, bitch.
Tim: *twirling his staff* come at me, cunt.
previews from the nightwing special!
did dick steal this when jason was dead? 💀
No but my REAL ideal dp x dc crossover is Freakshow screwing over Amity Park and dipping immediately making Danny chase after him all over the country. By the time he follows the scent of murderclown to Gotham, Danny is angry, tired, and panicking. Cue battle royale as the Bats suddenly need to handle a meta on a warpath.
Needless to say, Danny does NOT react well to realizing he's got the wrong clown.
A popular meme in the Ghost Zone is singing What Do You Do With A Drunken Sailor but replacing the punishments for the sailor with the ways you and your friends died. Examples include:
Throw him in a hole and vaporize him (Danny)
Break his DNA and whoops he’s melting (Dani)
Break off his date and burn his house down (Ember)
Send him on a hunt, the beasts’ll get him (Skulker)
Throw him in a box till he stops breathing (Sydney)
And, in the living world, the Red Hood hums to himself, unsure of where these extra lyrics for a song he barely even likes came from, and why he keeps repeating “hit him with a bar and burn his flesh off” as the chorus
Dp x Dc AU: Jazz Fenton, after years of fixing her brother’s injuries, becomes a Doctor with an inclination towards behavioral health and psychology- In order to make the difference she wants to see in the world she joins Dr. Leslie Thompkin’s practice.
Jazz Fenton, M.D. has spent years of her life doing research, doing the hard work and the emotional labor, and finally, finally, she’s joining a practice she can feel 100% confident in. She’s goddamn good doctor and she wants to make the biggest impact that she can.
Dr. Thompkins (who insists that she call her Leslie as they’re colleagues now), is a kind woman, sharp as a tack and keeps her practice open at odd hours to help the most unfortunate. It took some time for them to bond and trust to be built, but now Jazz is being allotted a few night shifts here and there.
It’s incredible. Jazz gets to spend time with the kids who come in and really talk to them (in addition to getting them antibiotics, heating pads and pokemon themed bandaids) to help equip them with a few coping skills. Her passion for psychology never disappeared after all, but the expansive knowledge of how to heal the human body has made her find a sense of fulfillment like no other.
Having proven herself and worn Leslie down, Jazz now takes up about 1/3 of all the night shifts in the month. She’s hoping to get to 50/50 by the end of the year but she’s content with what she has. Danny keeps odd hours anyway so calling him after work on her walk home can happen any time of day and he will always answer enthusiastically.
It’s a particularly busy night before he comes in. The Red Hood.
He was known for being an ally to Leslie, despite being on contentious terms with the Bats, but Jazz had never asked directly. Never one to turn away a patient with bullet hole wounds, she hops into action to get his wounds cleaned, sewed up and gauze wrapped. She’s handing him a sheet (an Infographic! Dani made it with her! Graphic design is her passion!) on how to care for his wounds when he first seems to recognize that she’s not Leslie.
“No, Of course not. I’m Dr. Fenton. I can’t blame you for not remembering but I did introduce myself as you bled in the entry way. You’re Red Hood, right?”
“Hm. Didn’t realize the practice was expanding. Where can I find-” He grumbles before pushing her hand aside from where she had still been supporting his shoulder.
“Hold on there, mister. You’re going home, you’re following this infographic and you’re going to get some sleep.”
“Lady you don’t know-” His voice modulated ton came across antagonistically. As if he was trying to intimidate her. Ha, Jazz rolls her eyes at the inclination.
“Who I’m talking to? Who I’m dealing with? You’re hilarious. I can eat you vigilante’s hero complexes for breakfast. Tell me who I’m calling to pick you up and then you can say thank you.” Jazz snaps at him. It really had been a long night but his whole dialogue thus far is making her a bit batty.
“Oh really Doc? You know Leslie’s tough shit, and from what I can tell you’ve got nothing on her-”
“Trying to make me feel insufficient when I just saved your life? That’s cute. I’m sure a lifetime of abandonment by both of your parental figures gave you that. I’m also sure that you inherited this desire to prove you’re not going to be dependent on anyone who wants to help from whoever got you dressing up in tights to fight crime in the first place. Again, I’d love to talk at length about how predictable you-”
“Bwah- wait- I’m Predictable? You’re probably some nepobaby who had parents who told her she could have the world-” But Jazz cuts him off with hysterical laughter- he couldn’t be further from the truth. Her parents loved her, but nepotism? With what, the ghosts? If anything she got that from Danny, but he doesn’t need to know about her ghostly titles.
“You’re just some guy who came back from the dead and made his trauma everyone else’s issue. So shut it. And tell me how I’m getting you home from this clinic.” She seethes though her voice stays devastatingly level with each word.
Speechless for a moment, he eventually relents to Jazz that he’s already called for help on the comms but it will be hours before they can come for a pick up. The sun had already come up and the night had been over for most of them before Hood had walked into trouble. She groans and the realizes the time for herself and the empty clinic around them.
“Fine. My shift just ended anyway. I’ll get you home in one piece and I swear to all the ancients that you’d better follow the directions on the infographic.”
And that’s how Jazz ended up calling her brother while supporting the weight of a grown ass man (who no longer wanted to talk to her) on her walk home.
The next time Red Hood appears in her clinic, he’s brought a dozen roses in addition to the cut on his neck that definitely needs to be pressurized like ASAP. Did he stop for the flowers on his way to the clinic? He’s going to pass out from blood loss! She doesn’t even like roses!
Tim you silly goose, you fell for it!
✨️🎄 merry crisis 🎄✨️
wishing the very best to everyone and i hope yallre enjoying some rest time and staying warm inside! cheers!!! 🎉🎉🎉
(captionless version of santa hood underneath)
Bruce: who are you? A new crime lord?
Jason: *takes off his helmet*
Bruce: *squints suspiciously* a new crime lord who looks like a grown up version of my dead son?
Jason: *sighs in annoyance and forces a bright smile*
Bruce: JASON THE NEW CRIME LORD???
Oh and P.S. I also take requests.
Here’s the skrunkly
Batfam fic idea
Jason mysteriously dies at the hands of some random criminal. But Jason prepared this time and in his will states that if he is murdered they have to avenge his death by killing his murderer. The rest of the family reluctantly accepts this and goes after the poor guy. Who is now being talked about as if he was Jason’s greatest enemy and the battle they fought was an intense emotional fight. Then when confronting the guy he says something like “he wouldn’t want you to do this.”
The batfam just stare at him in confusion and say “have you ever even met him?”
Long story short they kill him. Then a week later Jason shows back up and everyone like “you’re alive!? What happened?”
Jason admits that he had meaning to take a break for a while. Due to feeling burnt out and when he got beat by that complete nobody it was his sign to take a vacation. He left a message with Damian who wasn’t listening to him and forgot completely about the call. Hence why when the rumours of his death came and no one could get a hold of him they just assumed that he was dead.
Masterlist of Executive Assistant to the Batman
made by @heartslogos
Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Chapter Six | Chapter Seven | Chapter Eight | Chapter Nine | Chapter Ten | Chapter Eleven | Chapter Twelve | Chapter Thirteen | Chapter Fourteen | Chapter Fifteen | Chapter Sixteen | Chapter Seventeen | Chapter Eighteen | Chapter Nineteen | Chapter Twenty | Chapter Twenty One | Chapter Twenty Two | Chapter Twenty Three | Chapter Twenty Four | Chapter Twenty Five | Chapter Twenty Six | Chapter Twenty Seven | Chapter Twenty Eight | Chapter Twenty Nine | Chapter Thirty | Chapter Thirty One | Chapter Thirty Two | Chapter Thirty Three | Chapter Thirty Four | Chapter Thirty Five | Chapter Thirty Six | Chapter Thirty Seven | Chapter Thirty Eight | Chapter Thirty Nine | Chapter Forty | Chapter Forty One | Chapter Forty Two | Chapter Forty Three | Chapter Forty Four | Chapter Forty Five | Chapter Forty Six | Chapter Forty Seven | Chapter Forty Eight | Chapter Forty Nine | Chapter Fifty | Chapter Fifty One | Chapter Fifty Two | Chapter Fifty Three | Chapter Fifty Four | Chapter Fifty Five | Chapter Fifty Six | Chapter Fifty Seven | Chapter Fifty Eight | Chapter Fifty Nine | Chapter Sixty | Chapter Sixty One | Chapter Sixty Two
Note:
Chapter 31 is not numbered. And Chapter 38 is numbered 39 while Chapter 39 is numbered 29. Like ??? Chapter 53 is empty which is why it's crossed over.
Remember some chapters are longer than others
(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*.✧
Taglist:
@strawberryjei @khachalala @warrior-ofba-the-blue-moon @reds-2 @michiruspens @jsuislfrost @dcblueberry @kerishet @elvenqueensandladyflowers @freeasthebirds @heirofgreen @delphae @rainarahl @youareunbearable @testycanadian @tiredswampthing @q-loves-you @platinum-here @zxrysky @consultingjedi @memo-rii @cheshirecaine @vegastaruniverse @timmers @kiragecko @veilfireshadows @47a3107 @send-me-letters @dukku-of-catempty @mizuphae @pastapirate @sparkly-key@marudny-robot @acookiesnmilkuniverse @dotsofblueink @shhhh-ok @neamedicullen @miss-choco-chips
Searching for a Batman Fic. Help?
The fic I'm looking for is a Parent Jason Todd Ao3 Fic. The beginnings of the fic are hazy for me but I do remember Jason giving up Red Hood because he acquired baby Damian. He moves to Metropolis because it was safer. There he met Kon and adopted him too. Along the way, he adopted 2 more babies, both girls (both oc's). The rest of the Batfam gets suspicious after Red Hood disappears and decides to investigate his whereabouts. They found out about Jason and the babies and decided to spy on him instead of confronting him about it. Jason noticed, because of the numerous baby diapers sent to him, and wondered how far the Bats would go through for the babies, the Bats sent a truckload of toys before Jason haad enough. I rememebered Jason went back to school in this fic
I don't remember if the Batfam was aware of Red Hood being Jason before the investigation or not. But that's it.
So... I found the fic. But I was wrong with the description of this fic. The character I had given was correct but some of the descriptions were incorrect. These are [I do remember Jason giving up Red Hood because he acquired baby Damian], and [The rest of the Batfam gets suspicious after Red Hood disappears and decides to investigate his whereabouts. They found out about Jason and the babies and decided to spy on him instead of confronting him about it. Jason noticed, because of the numerous baby diapers sent to him, and wondered how far the Bats would go through for the babies, the Bats sent a truckload of toys before Jason had enough. I remembered Jason went back to school in this fic]. Most of the description of the post was wrong :( I mixed up two fics so now I'm not sure if it's a purely Batman fic, it might've been a maribat but I don't remember. And I'm pretty sure in this fic he moved to Metropolis as well.
Ofc I still want to know what this fic is. So please if you do know this then can you please inform me what fic it is? Thank you :)
Now the fic I was describing in the first part, which is [he acquired baby Damian. He moves to Metropolis because it was safer. There he met Kon and adopted him too. Along the way, he adopted 2 more babies, both girls (both oc's).]
The name of the fic is Like Father Like Son by LERDM
Taglist:
@angel-with-problems @gabiiilovelucienv @furiousscissorssaladflower @redcarnati0n @risayoooo @briarrosevlogz @iamgaygaygay @mx-minxx @sleepysoftyemo @fluffykitty149 @ghostdragonfang
Searching for a Batman Fic. Help?
The fic I'm looking for is a Parent Jason Todd Ao3 Fic. The beginnings of the fic are hazy for me but I do remember Jason giving up Red Hood because he acquired baby Damian. He moves to Metropolis because it was safer. There he met Kon and adopted him too. Along the way, he adopted 2 more babies, both girls (both oc's). The rest of the Batfam gets suspicious after Red Hood disappears and decides to investigate his whereabouts. They found out about Jason and the babies and decided to spy on him instead of confronting him about it. Jason noticed, because of the numerous baby diapers sent to him, and wondered how far the Bats would go through for the babies, the Bats sent a truckload of toys before Jason haad enough. I rememebered Jason went back to school in this fic
I don't remember if the Batfam was aware of Red Hood being Jason before the investigation or not. But that's it.
Searching For a Batman Fic (2). Help?
So I didn't get to finish this fic. I had accidentally swiped back and couldn't find the fic again. At the start Jason and Tim were talking, Tim asked Jason if he ever wondered what would it be to not be a person (or smth like that, I don't remember what they exactly said) and Jason said that yeah he also thought about being an animal (or smth) in the forest and relaxing. And Tim said that what he thought of was nice but he was talking about something less cryptid and was like nvm. Jason was staring at Tim though and he thought smth like "I think I know what he likes"
Basically that's where I left off. I'd appreciate it if you guys help me.
Bruce (Tim) Wayne
Bruce (Tim) Wayne
Bruce (Tim) Wayne: Birds
Bruce (Tim) Wayne: Bees
The gaps that told him what Bruce Wayne did at what time, in what year as a child.
Tim is not Bruce, no, he is better. He will be better. If he can no longer be Robin, if can no longer be Tim then he will be a Batman the likes of which this dimension had never seen. The kind that would bring order. He could change them, all of them. Dick and Jason and Damian.
Timothy Drake has yet to be born.
Bruce, is the body he inhabits, is the skin he wears as his own. The burning sensation of holding back tears is easy enough to ignore. He’s had enough practice.
Remember some chapters are longer than others
(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*.✧
Taglist:
@madhatter-of-wonderland-woods @couffeeine @rossita07 @eltte @hasegawasosise @kittywitchy1 @why-not-fandom @jadestrellas @aelikestoplay @blueliliesstars @avalovesfic @blue-jello-for-spiderman @xynonsworld @ashe-is-crying @faeswings
Batman Masterlists Recommendation
Fic List from @preciousthingsareprecious
Full of fluffs, contains Batfam. If you want angst, this is not the one for you!
Masterlist by @cdelphiki
Contains Batfam. Has some angst. Baby Robins with fix-its and what-if for you! And ofc fluff.
Baby Damian Rec List by @cdelphiki
Just some good ol' baby Damian. And ofc the angst that comes with the package.
Dick & Damian Rec List by @cdelphiki
If you want more Dick and Damian interactions then this is the link for you! Warning!!! There's ANGST
Dick Grayson Rec List by @nightwingmyboi
Dick deserves some love. And this one gives just that. Ofc, it's not a batman fic without some angst now is it.
Remember some chapters are longer than others (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*.✧
Taglist:
@dethia1101 @anime-rae @kamenrider10123 @batfam-maribat @astrynyx @trippingovermyfeet @rubichubi23-blog @luckunlucky @secretlawyercolorscissors @inudareblogs @luminous-carrot @multplelifes @salty-vesta @calvin1394 @r3m1nd3rs4m3 @novicevoice @thanos-rules @jaymee16 @wowimawh0re @samiamack @miniaturealmonddreamzine @demonicbusiness @soloist7 @lostinday @baetrixx @zixrec @vanillanancinn @loewenflamme @regeek @dafaqbithc @rurianne @rivanwarrioress @shesthelastjedi @uncharted-universes @teentitansbullshit @symbieote @freakwiththepen @ritacrow-blog @doll246 @demonangel27 @kking13