Dc Hc - Tumblr Posts
This is the most nothing statement I’ve ever made but here you go:
Sometimes when I read headcannons for characters that get mega specific I feel like the hcs are made with the intention of creating the ideal version of the character rather than staying true to who the character is.
I think it’s fair to keep characters morally grey and to display their flaws through hcs as well, though I totally understand people using these characters and creating hcs of them as a form of comfort or coping mechanism (me with Jason Todd).
This is, again, a nothing statement. Meaning I do not say this to ask anyone to change how they hc characters or how they write, because truthfully, if I do not enjoy elements of your work, I will not interact. Others will enjoy it, and will interact. That’s totally cool. Honestly, I really just wanted to write this out and if it is thought provoking to anyone at all, awesome.
If there is any message to be taken from this rambling statement, it’s to allow others to create/be creative the way they want without offering unsolicited criticism. Let people have hobbies, don’t expect everyone to appease to your personal opinions/desires. Just chill, man.
ok ok ok I am all for the “people suspect Batman and Bruce Wayne are dating” identity shenanigans. I am all for the “Batman and Bruce Wayne seem to hate each other” identity shenanigans. And I am all aboard the “WE funds Batman because they are notorious frenemies with a common goal and a VERY similar insanity” identity shenanigans. All of these for both fanon and canon. But if I may propose an extra option that I harbor in my head? Would you all kindly humor me if I were to say…
Batman, grumbling after being questioned about his relationship to Bruce Wayne by the Justice League: Pearly is like… an annoying little brother. Who you want to push down the stairs…and watch his head crack open. ….But if anyone else hurt him, I’d throw them into deep space.
Bruce Wayne, with no small bitterness, while being abducted by a rogue and questioned on his relationship to Batman: The Batman? He’s like an overprotective older brother who sticks his nose into all of my business and always has something to say about it but is evidently never around when I actually need him.
Bruce Wayne’s official Twitter tweets out “Bitch!” with no context. An egg profile labeled notbatman23894984 responds, “Whore.”
When Alfred isn’t home….
My firm and very sincere belief that Tim Drake and Damian Wayne are the brothers that completely affirm each others paranoia fuelled contingencies for really inane situations. Its the most irritating thing ever. Like Damian will say “what if this girl scout is really just a means for someone to poison us” and Tim will instantly say “you’re so right, we need to do a homeland security level background check on the entire girl scouts chapter in gotham immediately”. The definition of bring out the worst in each other.
They’re not allowed to be in any living situation together without supervision because the last time they were left alone in the manor together, they literally created such stringent security measures that not even Alfred and Bruce could get into the house.
Headcanon that when Tim first started as Robin, he promised himself that he wouldn't die like Jason, and then proceeded to live out of sheer force of will.
He gets shot in the heart or blown to smithereens, and fifteen seconds later, he is picking himself off the floor like it's another Tuesday. Won't even acknowledge it happened. The type of guy to slap a bandaid on a stab wound and walked away with a flat line on a monitor.
He lives out of spite, solely so he can look at his siblings and go "Well, at least I didn't die" whenever one of them annoys him. With the amount of improbable stunts Tim pulls, Damian doesn't even think he is human anymore.
(Bruce loves his son, but sometimes he adds holy water into the coffee maker just so he can be sure Tim did not join the demon realm. Jason is less subtle about pulling Tim into churches to see if he will burn and melt. He does it a grand total of 7 times before Dick hosts an intervention about how loving your brother means you have to stop trying to exorcise him.)
I made a post earlier about how Dick should have taught Damian to use his baby face to his advantage and someone said he would teach all of his siblings. So here is the aftermath. A task force specifically designed to bring Bruce down.
Dick: Hey B, I was wondering if we could borrow the Batmobile for the weekend?
Bruce: … [no]
Dick: Pretty please I promise it will be in one piece when I give it back!
Bruce: Hnn. [Still no]
Dick: Fine then, you’ve forced my hand. ATTACK!
Tim steps forward, yawning and promising to try and sleep properly.
Bruce loses two health points.
Duke is next in the initiative order.
Duke: It would be fun!
The full power of the sun shines through his smile.
Bruce falters but passes a quick time event in his head, only losing another two health points.
Cass steps up to the plate.
Cass: I would like to go on an outing with my siblings, it sounds fun.
CRITICAL HIT!
Bruce is starting to sweat as a total of ten health points are swept away by the fact cass considers them family.
Damian decides to use his special attack! Holding the target’s sleeve makes it especially effective!
Damian: Baba, please?
A whopping fifty points! BRUCE IS HANGING ON BY A THREAD!
Jason: c’mon Dad.
Fatality
Bruce: fine.
Dick: Great job team!
Damian: yes, we got the Batmobile successfully. I will drive.
Dick: No-
multilingual batkids. they learn each others languages so they can mix and match. for example:
tim in french: have you figured out how we’re gonna tell b we’re not going to that gala yet?
damian in arabic: no i thought that was thomas’ job?
duke french: me? no jason said he’d do something
jason in arabic: hey don’t drag me into this!
dick in romani: i’m gonna kill him i really i am
steph in russian: who are we killing?
dick in english: ah! nobody! wait i didn’t know you spoke romani
tim in greek: you’re an asshole
jason in english: wait my greek is rusty say it again slowly
tim in greek: you’re an asshole
jason: …. you motherfucker
cass signing: nice drawing
damian in chinese: thank you
dick yelling at bruce about something he did
jason in spanish: what language is he speaking right now?
tim also in spanish: uh all of them i think
jason: does bruce even know-
tim: no he doesn’t
Y'all, I need the batkids joking about bad dad Bruce. That's how my siblings and I cope with our shit. There's no way the batkids aren't joking around about the fucked up shit Bruce did.
Au where Jason Todd is sacrificed to the King of the Infinite Realms and, upon realizing Danny isnt actually interested in human sacrifice nonsense, immediately shoots his shot
Like this man has been reading romance novels for as long as he can remember and he absolutely refuses to let this set up go to waste. He has a strange new world, a kind but powerful king, a castle, and big ass fucking library right there.
Too bad his family didn’t get the memo and reverse summoned him back too early.
———
Jason: *finally seduced Danny and is about to initiate the “frantic sex after weeks of pining” portion of the plot*
Jason: *is summoned back*
Jason: *has hickies all over his neck, claw marks down his back, unzipped pants, and no belt*
Jason: …
Jason: I hate all of you, you cockblocking motherfuckers. I had him right there! I could have been his husband. HUSBAND!!!!!
Bruce:
Tim:
Dick: …looks like you’ve been having a better few weeks than we have.
Damian: Father, I believe this is sufficient proof for removing Todd from the family.
Jason: IF YOU FUCKING WAITED I COULD HAVE HAD A DIFFERENT ONE
Tim: sorry that we worried about you being at the mercy of an all powerful ruler of the dead???
Jason: *sighs with heart eyes* god I fucking wish. His eyes are so pretty when he’s angry 💕