Dc Jason Todd Wayne - Tumblr Posts
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Jason: they never leave me alone for like 5 min
check this out:
I found out that dick isn't the only person Damian takes after. Apparently he picks up on Jason too.
it's Bully Him hours
Jason found out that the easiest way to get the things he wants from Bruce and Dick is to be the slightest bit cute. Chaos follows.
Bruce: Tell me again why you let Jason drive the Batmobile behind my back?
Dick: [mumbles]
Bruce: hn?
Dick: He called me big brother okay! He said please! He pulled the little wing card! I caved Bruce! I caved under the pressure!
Bruce: You can look Darkseid in the eye and crack jokes but the moment Jason says please you crack under pressure?
Dick: like you wouldn’t crumble into dust if he said “Hey Dad can I have a rocket launcher please?”
Bruce, thinking about it: … yeah I would fold like laundry.
Dick: Exactly!
Dick, giving out the news paper: okay, Sundays funnies for Steph.
Stephanie: yes! Garfield, the cat keeping me sane in there trying times what Cha got for me.
Dick: crossword for Dami.
Damian: thank you Richard, I shall make you proud of my intelligent.
Dick: I'm already proud of you, Jason, horoscope.
Jason: let's see what's for today's leo.
Dick: sports for Tim and Duke.
Tim: oh I can't look, tell me did our team won?
Duke: we won!
Tim: oh good, Bruce can live after making us miss it.
Dick: entertainment for Cass.
Cass: thank you, I've been waiting for this part.
Dick: rest for Bruce to glare at.
Bruce: I don't like this nepotism attitude they have for me.
Dick: you're from a rich family, now shush I'm looking for through the obituaries. Come on, Dean Allen where are you...
Jason: what did he do?
Dick: can't remember, I just know I want him dead.
Jason: very Sagittarius (or pisces) of you.
The Batfam dressing up for Halloween. Bruce lets them, under the condition that they still wear enough of their uniforms that people are able to recognize them
Nightwing- He owns a sexy maid outfit for this night only. Nobody believes he only wears it one night a year. Despite the fact that he does
Red Hood- His old Robin costume. Complete with cobwebs and smudges of dirt to make it look like he's a ghost. Yes, he's breaking Batman's rule, but he doesn't care
Orphan and Spoiler- They switch uniforms. The bright purple, snarky hero being silent and able to appear out of nowhere is almost as terrifying as the normally silent shadow speaking and giggling
Red Robin- He wanders Gotham covered in blood. Everyone preys it's fake blood. No one's had the guts to ask
Signal- He has a collection of slasher flick masks. He likes to go through the batcave and pick out weapons to match each mask
Robin- He doesn't want to dress up. At all. Dick convinces him to at least wear cat ears
Batman- He put large googly eyes over the lenses on his mask. The people he busts that night have never been more scared in their lives
Headcanon that when Tim first started as Robin, he promised himself that he wouldn't die like Jason, and then proceeded to live out of sheer force of will.
He gets shot in the heart or blown to smithereens, and fifteen seconds later, he is picking himself off the floor like it's another Tuesday. Won't even acknowledge it happened. The type of guy to slap a bandaid on a stab wound and walked away with a flat line on a monitor.
He lives out of spite, solely so he can look at his siblings and go "Well, at least I didn't die" whenever one of them annoys him. With the amount of improbable stunts Tim pulls, Damian doesn't even think he is human anymore.
(Bruce loves his son, but sometimes he adds holy water into the coffee maker just so he can be sure Tim did not join the demon realm. Jason is less subtle about pulling Tim into churches to see if he will burn and melt. He does it a grand total of 7 times before Dick hosts an intervention about how loving your brother means you have to stop trying to exorcise him.)
I made a post earlier about how Dick should have taught Damian to use his baby face to his advantage and someone said he would teach all of his siblings. So here is the aftermath. A task force specifically designed to bring Bruce down.
Dick: Hey B, I was wondering if we could borrow the Batmobile for the weekend?
Bruce: … [no]
Dick: Pretty please I promise it will be in one piece when I give it back!
Bruce: Hnn. [Still no]
Dick: Fine then, you’ve forced my hand. ATTACK!
Tim steps forward, yawning and promising to try and sleep properly.
Bruce loses two health points.
Duke is next in the initiative order.
Duke: It would be fun!
The full power of the sun shines through his smile.
Bruce falters but passes a quick time event in his head, only losing another two health points.
Cass steps up to the plate.
Cass: I would like to go on an outing with my siblings, it sounds fun.
CRITICAL HIT!
Bruce is starting to sweat as a total of ten health points are swept away by the fact cass considers them family.
Damian decides to use his special attack! Holding the target’s sleeve makes it especially effective!
Damian: Baba, please?
A whopping fifty points! BRUCE IS HANGING ON BY A THREAD!
Jason: c’mon Dad.
Fatality
Bruce: fine.
Dick: Great job team!
Damian: yes, we got the Batmobile successfully. I will drive.
Dick: No-
Jason: 'You'll never find the body' is such a boring threat. A better threat would be; 'You'll never stop finding the body.'
Tim, bored: Or just say, 'They'll be finding parts of you for at least four months...and you'll still be alive for three of them.'
Jason: Now that's a threat!
Dick, covering Damians ears: *horrified silence*
Batfam: Oh sure we can! (track Jason)
----------------------
Bruce: You know you can stay, do you?
Alfred: Indeed, but I'm sure Master Jason might take care of them.
batboys but they’re this specific cat pic
sometimes, alfred isnt around to do the grocery shopping / is sick. theyre all adults though, they can buy their own food
it’s easier to go grocery shopping after patrol, when there arent as many people around in stores
that means they go buy groceries in costume because going home to switch clothes and then come back to shop is such a waste of effort when all you want to do is crash into your bed and sleep for hours
on one such occasion: the red hood and nightwing walked into a walmart, already arguing (”we’re not getting fucking 10 boxes of cereal, screw you–” “you won’t survive the winter.” “–you can have one.”)
they bought vegetables and fruits at the red hood’s insistence. also a strange amount of corn?? and cat and dog food.
they stopped at the milk section. “what percent of milk does A usually buy?” “uh. the normal percent?” “fucking shit.” they spent the next 15 minutes trying to deduce what kind of milk batman would like based on his personality. (”listen, i’m certain it’s whole milk.” “no, that asshole would absolutely buy organic gotham milk to support the local farmers or whatever.”)
“fuck.” “what?” “is robin vegan or vegetarian.”
neither of them remember so they end up arguing about vegan options while already holding two milk cartons (whole & nonfat; “listen, if they want something in the middle, they can just mix these in a glass, it’ll be fine.”) “almond milk sounds promising.” “what if he’s allergic to nuts?” “soy then.” “no, bad memories. coconut.” “the milk isn’t for you anyway, you asshole.”
after they decide on one almond, one coconut, they realise they have to choose if they want the milk to be sweetened or not.
cue another 15 minute argument deducing milk preferences based on personality
the coconut ends up being unsweetened (”it seems like it’d already be sweet, right?”), while the almond would be sweetened.
a long pause. “is anyone lactose intolerant?” “i hate you.”
as theyre looking at the lactose free options for milk, around 10 minutes in, the red hood exclaims, “fuck, the vegan options already are lactose free!” nightwing startles, but seems too tired to even reprimand him.
its 6 am
theyve been here for 2 hours
they buy 4 milk containers, a shitload of fruits and veggies, animal food and 10 boxes of cereal.
the red hood is not amused
(damian really starts liking almond milk and refuses to drink any other version.)
Dick: *walking in to see Jason and Tim brawling* Stop! Stop! Stop. What’s going on here?
Jason: He hit me!
Tim: I didn’t mean to!!
Jason: You did!
Tim: I didn’t!
Dick: Stop. Tim what happened.
Tim: Jason apparently walked in behind me, I didn’t see him, so my coffee cup hit his face because he surprised me.
Dick: Well, that explains the dripping coffee.
Jason: *soaked* fucking disgusting, this shit is sticking to me!
Dick: Jason, cool off he didn’t mean it. Tim, be a little more careful next time.
Jason & Tim: Hmph!
Dick: *muttering on his way out* “you’re working too hard” they said. “Spend time with your family” they said. “It’ll be fun.” They said. Well guess what, Titans, next person who comes at me with that bullshit is gonna get double rounds as punishment and that goes for the team. I’m gonna…
Jason: *turning to Tim* *awkwardly* so, uh, you didn’t mean to, huh?
Tim: No, I did. 100%. Completely and absolutely. I saw you.
Jason: You said you didn’t!
Tim: I lied.
Jason: *pulling out his guns* count your fucking seconds, bitch.
Tim: *twirling his staff* come at me, cunt.
previews from the nightwing special!
did dick steal this when jason was dead? 💀
✨️🎄 merry crisis 🎄✨️
wishing the very best to everyone and i hope yallre enjoying some rest time and staying warm inside! cheers!!! 🎉🎉🎉
(captionless version of santa hood underneath)
