Tw Rather Graphic Sui Vent

tw rather graphic sui vent

i want to fucking kill myself

dig blades into my arms

feel the blades deep into my flesh

i want blood streaming down my arms

fire dancing over my skin

rivulets of blood carving rivers into my flesh

i want to feel my consciousness fade out into the dark abyss of nothing

be free from this stupid fucking shitty meat suit

be released from the shackles of existence

life is an infinite monotonous gray canvas

i want to splatter it with crimson and finally break out of this stupid cage

i deserve pain and suffering and eternal punishment

death would be merciful

i want to split open my limbs

carve into my bones

leave giant bleeding gashes in my stupid fucking body

carve out chunks of flesh

watch as i fall apart into pieces

i want to throw myself into a fire

watch as my skin shrivels into darkness

feel the burning agony pierce deep into the core of my very being

i want to stab myself and dig chunks out of my flesh

watch as my organs start hanging out of my body and entrails collect on the ground

i want to gouge my eyes out until all i see is red and then black

i want to feel like my entire world is agony and nothing more

reduce my existence to a single blazing spear of fire

tunnel vision into white hot embers

i want to throw myself off a skyscraper

feel the wind grasp at me

the endless freedom of falling

the explosion of agony

the shattering of my being

split myself into tiny shards

watch as the scales of my fate tip and plummet into the abyss

watch as it shatters into a million fragments of broken futures

i want to feel the thrill of control

the feeling of my spirit flooding my limbs

i want to stop being a puppet pulled by golden strings controlled by the cruel mistresses of destiny

i want to be able to sever the threads of my life

split them with a slash of a blade

i want to slice my limbs into paper thin slices

see the twitching muscle

blood pulsing out a pool of crimson slowly growing

i want to drive nails into my hands and feet

shove a spear into my side

feel blood dripping down my skin

hang as a violent mockery

i want to embed a blade into my skin

lift it up

watch as my skin peels off

i want to just lie down in a bathtub

rest my head against the cold porcelain

lift a blade to my wrist

feel it bite into my flesh

and just

slash

watch as it splits and opens

watch as the blood starts pulsing out

feel my mind start to float away and finally find peace peace peace

i want to tie a cloth around my throat and twist the tourniquet as it tightens and tightens and tightens

as my body feels light and hazy and i feel my pulse throbbing over my whole body as a final desperate attempt to survive but it fails and everything fades into black darkness

thats what true beauty is

the perfect serenity of death and nonexistence

i want to tie a noose and tie it to a hook

put my head in

feel it constraining my throat and just kneel and let myself hang

start floating away as i feel lighter and lighter and i slip into the empty void of nonexistence into true freedom

away from this life away from all pain away from everything in existence

the concept of existence itself is flawed the dichonomy of existence and nonexistence is inherently asymmetrical

to not exist is to never feel pain

i want to make my way up many flights of stairs

go onto the roof and see the sky stretching above me

feel the wind against my skin

lean against the railing

aware of the fragility of my existence

one simple tipping moment as i plummet into an explosion of nothingness

let me die and be freed from this prison of monotony

everything is in patterns and routines

i am trapped on this train hurtling towards jagged shards of reality

let me make my own story

jump off the train into the dark welcoming abyss

let me die

let me die

let me die

Also, generally useful information for ppl to have- if you run out of/can't afford/unexpectedly need butterfly closures, you CAN make your own with tape. Medical/paper tape (the kind u stick gauze on with) is ideal, since it's safer for your skin and will stick better.

This was ripped from my province's healthcare website, so it HAS been reviewed/approved by medical professionals, but usual disclaimer that I myself am NOT a professional and it's always a good idea to see a doctor if you're worried abt an injury/if it's severe/etc. I just also think it's important for ppl to be able to take care of themselves where possible

[Image description: a diagram showing how to cut butterfly closures out of tape. The instructions say:

How to make a butterfly bandage

A butterfly bandage can be used to hold the edges of a cut together while it heals.

To make a butterfly bandage:

• Cut a strip from a roll of 2.5 cm (1 in.) adhesive tape and fold it in half lengthwise, sticky side out.

• Cut a notch not far from the fold in each long side of the tape.

• Unfold the tape, then fold the notched pieces together, sticky side in. The centre of the tape will be non-sticky. Keep this part clean since it will be over the wound.

• Place one sticky end of the tape on the skin to one side of the wound, then pull the other sticky end tightly across the wound to pull the wound edges together. If the wound is long, you may need more than one bandage.

End of image description]

I hate the question where do you see yourself in 5 years like bro fucking dead next question thanks

they should invent venting but without having to explain all the bad things that are happening

please im so tired im just so fucking tired please just stop can everything stop im so tired im begging can it all stop

Guys you're not faking an ED like idk if anyone told you but some 98% of people diagnosed with an ED are not underweight just because some random girl on Pinterest has a BMI of 14 doesn't mean you're ED is "fake" it's a mental disorder,,,