I Stopped Coming Home

I stopped coming home

Stopped missing...

The smell of breakfast being made

The early morning chuckles

Talks about the news and the weather

All the coffee stains

Spilled over the dinner table

The sound of footsteps

And loud knocks on the door

Goodnight kisses

The late night conversations

About how the day went

And the warmth that comes after that

Yes, the warmth that comes after that...

I stopped

For the breakfast that used to be made

Eventually became

Cold and empty table

Desperate waiting for hours

For a company

That has died

Though I never know how

Or why

The early morning chuckles

Became yellings

Ceaseless arguments

About everything

And nothing

Until they turned

To small talks

About why things should end

Then became silence

Deafening, sickening silence

I can only endure

Because the words

Are gone

And so does the strength

I saved to say them one last time

The coffee stains

Became the blood

Oozing from wrist cuts

Flesh being slashed

Over and over

Because the pain

Is no longer felt

The heart became numb

The sound of footsteps outside the door

Became hollow echo of hushed sobs

A car driving away

Headed somewhere I cannot follow

And the goodnight kisses

All the shower of wishes

Became chilling winds

Blowing ruthlessly against my skin

The late night conversations died

In the hall

Now I ask myself how my day went

As I tremble

And cry.....

Oh I stopped

I stopped coming home

For the things

That used to make my blood rush

In exhilaration

The surge of emotions

Are no longer there

And the place

I persistently call home

Is now a graveyard

For all the dreams

I wished would come true

But were wiped out

By an unknown cannon

Long ago....

-Empty table,

Katie, 21: 45

Image: Pinterest

His eyes were golden

When the light passed through them

And he stared at me

Like I fell from heaven

But I came from the raging sea

Swam to shore to meet the me

That he found surfing with the waves

Longing to be set free

-His eyes were golden,

Katie, 16:00

Now that I've told you,

Told you what you mean

To me

I can go...

Go where my pains walk

A one way street

Disappearing into

The dark undertow

Of swirling emotions

That drag me below

I can't swim

To the surface

For the weight

Tied around my feet

Is too heavy

I can't speak

For the lump

In my throat

Is bigger

Than my fear

Of being lost

With the miasma

Surrounding me

I am glad

I was bestowed

With a chance

To tell you

Something

I felt a long time ago

I love you

Now that you know

Heard from my lips

That you mean

The universe to me

I can go

Flee with the night

To somewhere

Your heart

Cannot follow

For it's cold

And my heart

Freezes December over

As it dies

With the sun

I can't warm you

So stay

Stay right here

Where the stars shine down

On your face

And wrap you

With the sweet

Confessions of love

I bravely spilled

Oh, I hope

What we had is enough

To sustain you

Until fate decides

To send me home again

To you...

-Where the stars shine down,

Katie, 23:15

His shattered dreams

With her broken pieces

Millions of scattered wishes

Wrapped with shower of kisses

Binding them whole

Gliding like a dew

Along the hollow corridors

Of time

And space

Their footsteps as they pace

A resounding rhyme

Two souls entwined

A mesmerizing chime

-Souls entwined,

Katie, 20:00

Let's write something

That doesn't involve guns

And blood

Too much yelling I

Cover my ears with lies

The world is a better place

Always a better place

To die in

They say it's the only

Habitable planet there is

But all I see are graveyards

Stretching far and wide

Like stars plotted

In a chaotic sky

Oh I sigh,

Believing all the lies

Uttered so we can survive

The night

While thunderous bombs

Resound

Here and there

Fallen bodies scattered

Everywhere

Maybe I

I will let you speak

About love to me tonight

It doesn't matter now

If you'll lie

We will die sooner or later

You and I

So let's drink to all the fallen souls

Wrap our hearts with steel

While we profess love

Such a foreign emotion

We can't even fathom

But we say it anyhow

Like it's as nonsense

As the war going on

I will let you sprinkle each word

With sugar

So they'll taste sweet

If I roll them on my tongue

And say them back to you

A response

That could melt glaciers

Perhaps in a different time

But tonight may only be

The chance left for us

So what are you waiting for

Lie to me

Let's stage the greatest farce

In this time of war

We'll be the great pretenders,

You and I,

-Chaotic sky,

Katie, 18th of December 2019

I am made

To coexist

With love

And coffee beans

Love and coffee beans,

Katie, 18:45