Chipsvents - Tumblr Posts

2 months ago

Me: Elbows my rib outward once and it really hurt

Rib: Feels wrong since elbowing it

Rib: Proceeds to give me bad anxiety from feeling that there's something wrong with it

Rib: Gives me 3 bad panic attacks in less than 2 days

Rib: Now hurts when I touch it

Rib: Is clearly not where it's supposed to be when I look in the mirror

Rib: Makes it so I can't lift heavy things or put pressure on it without it hurting

Rib: Still gives me anxiety and makes it impossible to focus on bad days

Doctor: "There's nothing wrong with you. Your body's just asymmetrical. Drink some water and it will go away."

. . .

Wtf doctors?


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2 months ago

No matter how many times I tried explaining to her, my doctor didn't seem to understand that I didn't elbow my rib straight on

I think she thinks I hit it here going inward

No Matter How Many Times I Tried Explaining To Her, My Doctor Didn't Seem To Understand That I Didn't

Cause everytime she gestured to recreate the scene that I elbowed it, she put her elbow there

But in reality, I hit it here, going in the direction of the arrows:

No Matter How Many Times I Tried Explaining To Her, My Doctor Didn't Seem To Understand That I Didn't

So like, it kinda knocked out

Maybe?

Idk

But now, when I look in the mirror, that ONE RIB is bulging out a bit compared to the rest

Me: Elbows my rib outward once and it really hurt

Rib: Feels wrong since elbowing it

Rib: Proceeds to give me bad anxiety from feeling that there's something wrong with it

Rib: Gives me 3 bad panic attacks in less than 2 days

Rib: Now hurts when I touch it

Rib: Is clearly not where it's supposed to be when I look in the mirror

Rib: Makes it so I can't lift heavy things or put pressure on it without it hurting

Rib: Still gives me anxiety and makes it impossible to focus on bad days

Doctor: "There's nothing wrong with you. Your body's just asymmetrical. Drink some water and it will go away."

. . .

Wtf doctors?


Tags :
2 months ago

Idk man, I feel like I need to vent, but I don't wanna burden anyone (I know it sounds cliché, but I'm serious. As much as I really want to be there for everyone whenever they need help, I know I wouldn't really like someone piling their troubles and struggles on top of my own). I have only shared my struggles with a few select people, only two of which have taken it well. I can't just vent to acquaintances or friends I'm kinda close to, it has to be someone I share a strong connection with. If they know me well, they might not leave me cuz the connection is too strong to throw away the friendship altogether. But like, even the people I HAVE vented to, I've shared just about everything. I need to vent about the same things over and over until the problem gets better, but that'll get annoying for them. I've already tried talking to ai about it, but they always give the same answers and it doesn't make me feel better knowing these aren't real people and the programs are programmed to say what I wanna hear. I know I could rant to my blog, but I don't want it to be a bummer compared to what I normally try to post. I may do so tho, so be prepared for somma dat lol.

And I swear, I'M GONNA GET TO REQUESTS SOON!! lol

It just might take a little bit cuz I'm getting into a bit of art block rn


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2 months ago

Seriously tho, I was making mashed potatoes earlier and nearly had to stop cuz I couldn't mash em without my rib hurting and feeling uncomfortable

Me: Elbows my rib outward once and it really hurt

Rib: Feels wrong since elbowing it

Rib: Proceeds to give me bad anxiety from feeling that there's something wrong with it

Rib: Gives me 3 bad panic attacks in less than 2 days

Rib: Now hurts when I touch it

Rib: Is clearly not where it's supposed to be when I look in the mirror

Rib: Makes it so I can't lift heavy things or put pressure on it without it hurting

Rib: Still gives me anxiety and makes it impossible to focus on bad days

Doctor: "There's nothing wrong with you. Your body's just asymmetrical. Drink some water and it will go away."

. . .

Wtf doctors?


Tags :
1 month ago

Ik I joke around to my friends and family about not being able to sleep on my side, but it really fucking sucks.

Cuz like, sleeping on your side feels so much more natural and comfortable than sleeping sitting up. I've been unable to sleep on my side without waking up extremely nauseous for well over a year now, and it hasn't gotten any better.

I've tried this medication, I've tried that medication, I've tried this diet, I've tried that diet, I've tried sleeping in different parts of the house, I've tried sleeping on my back, I've tried sleeping on my stomach, and nothing works.

And I've been told countless times by people that "You should really sleep in your own bed.", and "It's not good for you to be always sleeping on the couch.", and "(In a rude, know it all tone) But why would you sleep in your bed? You seem perfectly fine sleeping on the couch.", as if they don't understand its not a fucking choice for me.

Sure, I can sleep in my bed, but I'll wake up at 2am feeling like I'm one ill-timed blink away from vomiting. And with my emetophobia, that's not gonna cut it.

I just wanna rip my stomach out of my body and ask it what the fuck it thinks it's doing.


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1 month ago

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa


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1 month ago

I just had to quickly reach to save something from falling and I felt my bad rib pop

It doesn't hurt now, but I am very much more aware that my rib is there. Idk how to explain it, but it makes me VERY anxious being able to feel my one rib rubbing against my flesh

It doesn't feel right 😣

But hey, in the words of my doctor, "mY BOdY's jUst aSyMMetRIcAl"


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1 month ago

Tw. Gore(?)

You know what would fix me? What would solve all my problems? What would cure my mental state?

I need to tear the skin off my face.

I can't explain it, but I often feel a HUGE urge to claw at my skin and peel it from my bones. I need to tear at my flesh until there is nothing but bone, then rip out my eyeballs and throw them away, then carve at my skull until my brain is exposed so I can tear that from it's base as well and crush it within my bare hands.

I need to bite at my arms and legs to tear off chunks of skin so I can feel the stinging pain while I drink my blood. I need to hurt in ways I get queasy even thinking about.

But sadly my weak, mortal flesh and mind prevent me from doing this. I am forced to keep living in this body, with all my flaws, failures, and anxieties. No matter what I do, I'll never be a different person and will be stuck in this same fucked up body for the rest of my pathetic life.

And I don't know why, but I really feel like peeling skin off my skull will help, at least a bit

PLEASE tell me I'm not the only one who get this urge/feeling 😭😭


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1 month ago

When you feel lonely but you're not alone is such a weird feeling

I have a lot of friends and people who care about me

I thought the loneliness was supposed to go away when I'm not alone

When You Feel Lonely But You're Not Alone Is Such A Weird Feeling
When You Feel Lonely But You're Not Alone Is Such A Weird Feeling
When You Feel Lonely But You're Not Alone Is Such A Weird Feeling

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1 month ago

Aaaaaaaaaaa

It hurts when I bend down

It hurts when I breathe in

It hurts when I lean to the side

I can feel it there

Rubbing against something

Making me really anxious

I kinda wanna cry

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa


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1 month ago

Hyperventilating

Shaky breaths

Crying

Sweating

Fidgeting

Hurts

Anxiious

Help

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasaaaa


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