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Insider Secrets: The Truth About "Old Money" Style and Breaking Into Elite Circles

As someone close to to “old money” and “new money” in Europe, I’ve learned a few secrets that I can share with you, especially if you’re trying to navigate these circles.

The trend of “old money” or “quiet luxury” style is everywhere these days. Ladies are flocking to this understated, elegant look, thinking it’s the golden ticket to penetrate old money/HNWI social circles, often driven by the hope of hypergamy.

But here’s the thing—while the allure of quiet luxury is understandable, it’s not as simple as wearing Loro Piana knits or perfectly tailored blazers.

Let me be clear:

Old money, or any big money really, isn’t just about how you dress. I’ve seen multimillionaires in torn, frayed jeans at professional events, looking like they couldn’t care less about fashion (or etiquette). Of course, I’ve also seen others in bespoke suits from Savile Row and Milanese tailors.

The common thread? Rich people wear what they want, without a second thought about how others perceive them.

Yes, brands like Loro Piana, Hermès, and Brunello Cucinelli are often associated with old money due to their quality and timeless appeal. But simply buying these pieces doesn’t grant you access to elite circles.

I’ve met women who dress head-to-toe in the latest “quiet luxury” trend—neutral cashmere, silk blouses, simple gold jewelry—yet they stand out as outsiders almost immediately.

Why?

Because it’s not about the clothes. It’s about your worldliness, your experiences, and your confidence.

Being in these circles is more about where you’ve studied, what you’ve accomplished, and where you’ve been—both geographically and culturally.

It’s the woman who spent a summer sailing the Mediterranean, the one who effortlessly converses about art, politics, and global events, or the one who knows the hidden gems in every European city because she’s lived there.

That’s what sets you apart.

Old money recognizes old money not by brands but by behaviors, experiences, and subtle cues that can’t be bought off a rack.

Wearing a Loro Piana coat (or a dupe) won’t compensate for not knowing which fork to use at a formal dinner, or being out of place in a conversation about the latest Sotheby’s auction.

Additionally, these circles are small and everyone has known each other forever. That isn't to say newcomers can't establish connections with rich people. You simply won't be seen as “one of them”, ie a person who has enjoyed the same privileges from birth.

If you really want to fit in with HNWIs, focus less on the wardrobe and more on the experiences that shape who you are.

Travel, educate yourself, cultivate diverse friendships, and engage with the world in a way that enriches you. That’s where the real currency lies.

In the end, the most important lesson is this: rich people are not a monolith. Some care about fashion and brands; many do not. What they often do care about is authenticity, and no amount of “quiet luxury” can substitute for that.

So next time you’re thinking of investing in that perfectly understated designer piece, ask yourself if it’s really what you need—or if there’s another way to truly cultivate the essence of the life you aspire to.

Stay savvy, stay genuine.

beauty on a budget for someone new to the lifestyle?

since you’re only starting out, you’ll probably want to focus on affordable products and diy and at home beauty treatments.

you can get affordable skin care products from brands like cerave, cetaphil, and the ordinary. you’ll find all your essential cleansers, serums, exfoliators and moisturizers. you can order facial sheet masks in bulk cheap from amazon. you can also use aztec secret healing clay as a clay masque. skip the guasha altogether and follow a youtube tutorial for face sculpting massages instead.

good quality affordable makeup brands I used when I was nearly broke included e.l.f., nyx, wet n’ wild, maybelline, and makeup revolution. look into some other drug store brands within your budget and check reviews before you buy anything so you don’t waste your money. get generic beauty blenders and powder puffs, you’ll be replacing them often anyway so it’s best to get them cheap. you can buy cheap big makeup brush sets on amazon that’ll last a long time if you clean them regularly and take care of them.

press on nails and home manicures / pedicures will save you a ton of money and time. find a good manicure kit and pumice stone. buy a dollar store basin and some epsom salts to soak your feet. for press on nails I usually get mine from temu or brands like kiss and impress. if you just want to paint your natural nails, get a gel polish like l.a. colors color craze gel or sally hansen miracle gel. if you want to go the extra mile, invest in the supplies and learn how to do your own acrylics or gel manicures.

learn how to wax, shape, and tint your own eyebrows. you can buy an affordable diy wax kit like this one and use youtube tutorials on how to find the most flattering brow shape. (as a bonus, the hard waxing kit can also be used to remove unwanted hair on the rest of your body.) you can also find cheap brow tinting kits that usually last up to five uses at sally’s beauty supply and various other stores online.

if you want your lashes done, you can either get really, really good at applying a strip lash – my go to affordable brands are ardell and kiss – or you can invest in some bulk lash clusters and the falscara diy eyelash extension kit. figure out what lash placement will best compliment your features, then watch lots and lots of youtube tutorials on how to use it and practice, practice, practice. they take some getting used to.

when it comes to hair care, the very first thing you want to do is figure out your hair type with a quiz like this one and find what it needs to look and feel healthy. I have 2A hair, so I would pretty much always spring for nexxus for something moisturizing and lightweight, but I’ve heard great things about ogx, shea moisture, not your mother’s, maui moisture, l’oreal elvive, and garnier whole blends which are great for other hair types, densities, and textures. all these brands carry a wide variety of products from shampoo, to leave in treatments, to hair masques, to curl cream — you get it. again, read reviews. you can also use a cotton t-shirt to dry and plop your hair instead of spending money on a microfiber towel, and a satin scarf wrapped around your head to protect your hair while sleeping instead of a silk bonnet and pillow case.

if you’re into styling your hair, two of my favorite methods are heatless styling and blowouts. for heatless styling, you may not even need to purchase any new styling tools. I started out using this heatless robe curl method and eventually started doing other heatless styling methods like the ones on this playlist once I started buying more tools, and did styles like these when I didn’t feel like setting my hair at all. for styles that require heat, a highly suggest investing in a dyson airwrap – which can do pretty much everything – so you don’t end up spending even more on an arsenal of hot styling tools.

good luck, sugar

xoxo

That's why I always come back and stay on this site. The sw community on here is the best too.

Tumblr has the best posts to cheer me up ♥️

A broke man is supposed to be a red flag, not an opportunity for you to play Bob the builder.

Don't try to fix him, run!

beauty tips?

Beauty Tips.

.... new habits, current go-tos, recent additions.

✿ gradual face tan and 1-2 drops carotene oil = 💋 from the sun

✿ sexy stomach = tightening transverse abdominus + stomach vacuums + gua sha.

✿ increasing my hip as well as my shoulder mobility for an attractive gait.

✿ eliminating sweat: AHA regularly, antiperspirant (at night!), and drinking sage tea.

✿ targeted weightlifting and protein heavy diet and protein shakes for hot curves!

✿ starting hot yoga = it's body weight training + cardio + meditation all in one!

✿ socks in the evenings after applying my heavy cream for silky smooth skin.

✿ golden jewelry on bronzed skin is an absolutely stunning combination, no silver.

✿ adorning my body ♡ stacked rings + bracelets + a delicate anklet on my right foot.

✿ lots of PA+++ sunscreen, citrus perfume, my summertime drinks and snacks.

✿ french on the nails and french on the toes is an absolute necessity!

Social skills are a MUST and as a High Value Woman it’s important to know how to adapt to your surroundings. It can be awkward when you’re occupying grander spaces, or engaging with high value people for the first time. But I promise, it’s not and shouldn’t be a daunting experience. This PowerPoint presentation 😂 is to help you build better connections and to encourage you to make the most of your time and interactions. As we integrate back in to society, let’s continue to go for GOLD ✨

✨ BOOKS TO READ ON YOUR HYPERGAMOUS JOURNEY!!! ✨

Stop using the pandemic as an excuse for not developing yourself and your social skills! It’s important to devote time to studying hypergamy, dating, social climbing, and femininity. Although nothing can replace real life interactions, reading books on the topic can help prime you for when these interactions do occur. Devote yourself to daily reading, ladies. 

DATING

- Shanghai Girls: Uncensored & Unsentimental: How Formidable Chinese Women Use Their Feminity to Get Wealth and Power, By Lan Lan

- Ho Tactics, by G.L. Lambert

- The Geisha Secret, by Hanako

- How To Marry The Rich, by Ginie Sayles 

FEMININITY

- Simply Irresistible, by Ellen T. White

- The Geisha Secret, by Hanako

SEDUCTION

- The Book of Courtesans, by Susan Griffin

- The Art of Seduction, by Robert Green

- The Seduction Mystique, by Ginie Sayles

- The Geisha Secret, by Hanako

SOCIAL CLIMBING

- Meet the Rich, by Ginie Sayles

- The Old Money Book: How To Live Better While Spending Less, by Byron Tully

- Modern Etiquette Made Easy, by Myka Meier

- The Social Climbers Bible,  Dirk Wittenborn