Transmisandry - Tumblr Posts
I don’t think too many people understand just how much queer POC are being pushed out of conversations and not being considered whenever things that are dangerous to the queer community are being brought up. Like for example, talks about trans men and our experiences with being perceived as a threat (whether within queer spaces or outside of them), desperately need to start including more trans men of color.
I can only speak on my experiences as Black trans man but masculinity and embracing it for me, is dangerous. Yes I love being masculine and appearing as such but being perceived as masc, even if I wasn’t a man, is enough to get me targeted simply because I’m Black. And there’s not a whole lot of conversation around that and how being myself and transitioning the way I want, might end up getting me hurt or harassed.
Another thing is that terfs, usually white women, pushing that trans men are scary once they start transitioning to pass more as a man, is inherently racist. Period. Black men are often perceived that way, and it’s a big reason why we get targeted by the police. To reinforce this idea is to ignore the countless lives of Black men lost due to the police seeing us as a threat, whether it was because we simply had a hoodie on or were carrying non lethal objects in our hands.
Things like this are only two examples of how being Black and a man intersect, this isn’t even getting into the deeper side of how being trans would effect that identity as well.
The intersectionality between being a person of color and trans is way too significant to ignore and I really wish more conversations included how harmful statements from terfs effect LGBTQ+ POC ten fold. Such as how transphobia is inherently linked to racism and effects the deep queer history within communities of color who have recognized multiple genders and multiple queer identities for centuries. And how the gender binary is a product of colonization.
At the end of the day, I’m barely scratching the surface with this post. I highly encourage folks, especially white people, to think twice before posting something about transphobia or queerphobia because I can guarantee that the microaggression or act of violence you’re talking about, effects LGBTQ+ POC differently or more.
It’s honestly about time that we broaden discussions about oppression and include POC in them, whether it be within queer spaces or outside of them. Our lives as people of color effect literally every aspect of our life, and to be excluded from conversations surrounding oppression (or anything for that matter) would only harm us more. Even if we’re cishet, or cis, POC are still affected by things like the gender binary and white feminism (which is linked to the gender binary). For example, cis women of color are often excluded from feminism, denied womanhood, and told their features are ugly due to the fact that they don’t align with white women’s.
If more people knew about what we go through and experience, it’ll get more people to open their eyes and realize just how vital we are to discussions as well as get white people to realize what we face because of our race and queerness.
Boy: A Trans Poem
"You can't possibly call yourself a boy in that outfit, are you serious?"
"If you really want to be a boy or whatever, you should join the military, show everyone you're not part of the freak show."
"What are you, a fucking lesbian?"
"Boys don't wear makeup, you should wash it off."
"You like cooking? Ha-ha, fag."
"Why don't you have a girlfriend yet?"
"Come on, stop crying and stick your chin out."
"Be a man."
"You should beat up that guy, show him who's boss."
"Don't call yourself pretty. Say handsome instead. Pretty is a girl word."
If I'm neither, then what do I call myself?
"Dyke."
"Faggot."
"Wuss."
"Tranny."
"Trap."
"Pussy."
"Fop."
"Whore."
"If you want to look manly, you'd better start working out."
"The girls can grab shields. Boys - take it like a man."
"Can't you just say you're a girl? Things will be complicated otherwise."
"If you want them to like you, ditch the silver suit, you look gay."
"Why aren't you having sex yet? Don't you wanna be a stud?"
"Men are providers. Do you really think you can provide for a family one day?"
"Chest out, shoulders back. Slumping makes you look like a girl."
"Boys don't play with dolls, why haven't you thrown those away yet?"
"You will never be a boy, no matter what."
We need to stop saying stuff like “trans men/mascs go through everything cis women go through” as a counter to transandrophobes saying we don’t experience gendered oppression. Cis women are actually not the metric of gendered oppression, and by all measures, all trans people face greater gender related violence than cis women. Trans men/mascs are distinct from cis women and that heightens our oppression, it does not invalidate it. There are overlaps of experiences but in many ways it is important to talk about trans men/masc specific experiences (and all trans peoples experiences) so as to not treat a cis woman’s body/experience as the norm for what reproductive discrimination looks like. Trans men struggle to access safe reproductive care even in places that cis women don’t, and that’s only one example! Socially, economically, legally, cis women hold power over trans men/mascs and act as gatekeepers and police of gender for the cis patriarchy - trans men do not have that power to wield.
Vivziepop is still Transphobic 10 years later!
(I'm writing this as a trans non-binary person btw)
Basically: "Transmen are only depressed females who are ashamed of being women" In other screenshots, she has another pfp, which people already knew she had a Blitz pfp, people thought it was fake cause of the moe pfp. But right here there was proved it was her. Dates match up and all. This is all in 2023!
This is directly from Ken btw, who they were friends with- and worked on Hazbin. Also wrote a most of the fucking pilot and got ""additional writing" credits... plus the Cherry bomb thing too!
"I honestly believe it's incredibly rare, VALID as hell, but rare"
Based on this few messages alone, you should realize her ""acceptance"" of trans-people is selective as fuck. She also NEEDED to state the trans people are rare, so bad here too. I as a trans person, I have always considered this a BIG red flag! Because people who say that are ready to invalidate others on the idea of "trans people are rare, you must not be trans because you don't fit my standard!"
Here she is using She/Her on Ken who uses only They/Them. She already knew Ken as a friend, so the misgendering here is just rotten.
All of this is recent as fuck! Since Hazbin was getting made until 2023! This one below, of Salem, shows xe experienced the same thing during the start of Helluva Boss. (Below there is a link to a threat talking about Viv being terrible to xem!)
Here also seems to be another trans character, from millie's siblings! Designed to be transmasc?
Oh fuck me, never mind! They changed his design to be a cis male imp.
I have already talked about how I personally feel about how Sallie may is treated! Viv treats all trans characters and people terrible, and she has something against transmasc people specially. -And for someone so selectively transphobic, with all of her comments-she is transphobic against Non-binary people! I mean, she already didn't respect the usage of them/they pronouns, so... She can not go around saying this shit of telling queer stories and people who critique me are being homophobic WHEN SHE IS LIKE THIS.
This is older, too! Viv has being transphobic back then and still is! Drawing a caricature of a transman you don't like -like this!?
This is a meme video that Vivziepop did too. This is rotten. People sure can change, but this woman has being transphobic over 10 years, like... I don't know how old is this character but- you can search fan art of this character since 2015...
Again please read:
shocker (not)
this is an extremely well written post, bravo to you my friend.
(also sweet url)
Intro to Anti-transmasculinity (ATM)
(also ft. an about me section)
Defining ATM:
Anti-transmasculinity refers to the systematic oppression of transmasculinity. “Transmasculinity” refers to the concept of people seen as female having a masculine or manly gender or gender expression*. Other terms used for this are transandrophobia, transmisandry, and transmascphobia.
In 1963, feminist Betty Freidan described misogyny as “the problem with no name,” illustrating how at the time, women’s language to understand, describe and communicate their oppression was underdeveloped. Anti-transmasculinity has been, similarly, a problem with no name; transmasculine people have not had the language or framework to understand, describe, and communicate our oppression. Transmasculinity suffers from erasure, often called “invisibility”. This does not protect transmasculine people from violence; it silences us to prevent us from speaking out against, or realizing, the violence done to us. It alienates us from our history, our brothers, siblings and sisters, and ourselves, by preventing transmasculinity from being seen, heard, discussed, or considered. For more posts of mine and others that help expand on the theory of anti-transmasculinity, see my #theory tag.
*This is not my definition of transmasculinity as an identity. This definition is for the form of transness targeted by transphobia, which is based around the idea of "female/woman trying to be male/a men." My definition of transmasculinity as an identity is any form of masculinity or manhood that is trans* in nature, regardless of presentation or assigned sex. I make this distinction because a GNC man assigned male could see his manhood as trans, but be targeted by transphobia based around the idea of a man trying to be a woman.
Who can be affected by ATM?:
Anyone can suffer from anti-transmasculinity, regardless of gender, sex or sexuality. Anti-transmasculine violence targets perceived transmasculinity, which means anyone perceived as transmasculine can be victimized. That is not the extent of how people are affected, though; people who perceive themselves to be transmasculine, consciously or unconsciously, or who have traits associated with transmasculinity can also be affected by witnessing anti-transmasculinity.
(TW: transphobic murder)
People who are associated with transmasculinity (such as partners, friends, and family of transmasculine people) can also be affected, not just through emotional pain but targeted for physical violence. As an example, Italian cis woman Maria Paola Gaglione was murdered by her brother to "teach her a lesson" after she got engaged to a trans man.
Who can be anti-transmasculine?:
Anyone can be anti-transmasculine, regardless of gender, sex, or sexuality. It is a systemic way of thinking that is spread throughout society and culture, and reproduces itself constantly in people's thoughts and actions.
Who benefits from anti-transmasculinity?:
In the grand scheme of things, everyone suffers from the restrictive nature of transphobia. However, in general, only cisgender, gender-conforming people systematically benefit from anti-transmasculinity. Other trans* people do not; trans* people do not systematically benefit from each other’s oppression.
* *trans is a way of writing “trans” that emphasizes it as a broad umbrella term inclusive of everyone who trangresses gender and sex norms
Is ATM caused by “misandry”?
In transunity theory, “misandry” is used to refer to the way that gender roles around manhood/masculinity are weaponized to harm marginalized people, (in this case) specifically trans* people; trans* people are viewed as having the worst traits of both masculinity and femininity, as well as the inherent negativity associated with androgyny. In this sense, anti-transmasculinity does involve misandry, as do anti-transfeminity* and exorsexism**. However, all of these also involve misogyny and misandrogyny***. Which one of these is more dominant varies between types of transphobia, as well as the individuals doing the violence and the ones experiencing it.
To quote this article, "Misandry [...] can never reliably be prevented from collapsing into transphobia."
*i use anti-transfemininity (ATF) as a companion to anti-transmasculinity, as an alternative to “transmisogyny.” This is because, as I explain, my philosophy on transphobia is that all transphobias are inherently misogynistic and all trans* people experience the intersection of misogyny. Additionally, transunity theory frames transphobia as being the intersection of many forms of gendered bigotry, so using the “anti-” terms lets me talk about these transphobias without having to specify it by only one kind (like -misogyny or -androphobia)
** exorsexism refers to oppression of people who violate the gender or sex binaries; it includes intersexism, but also oppression against non-binary people.
*** misandrogyny is the hatred of/bigotry against androgyny, a companion to misogyny and misandry. “androgyny” here refers to anything outside the exclusive male/female binary; examples of misandrogyny are violence done when someone cannot tell someone’s gender/sex, and the idea of nonbinary and genderqueer language as immature, annoying, and pointless, while binary language is considered mature, normal, and useful.
Evidence of ATM:
I have the tags #examples of transandrophobia and #experiences with transandrophobia; the first is posts showing transandrophobia in action, and the second is people describing the transandrophobia they have experienced or witnessed.
I also keep the Archive of Violence Against Trans*masculine People, which keeps a record of events of anti-transmasculine violence. This includes murder, rape, abuse, physical assault, harassment, and the suicides of transmasculine people. Also on this archive is a list of academic research & writing related to anti-transmasculinity; the studies provide more objective evidence of the systemic oppression transmasculine people face, and analyses which can help with understanding how anti-transmasculinity works.
You can also look at @transandrophobia-archive which collects examples of anti-transmasculine Tumblr posts.
Info on Me:
I’m genderqueer, transsexual, and a transvestite; I am a man and a woman and neither (all of which affect each other), and identify with both transmasc, transfem, and transother. I’m also aromantic + greysexual. My sexuality is everything everywhere all at once.
Originally this blog was just made for me to process and deal with my own internalized anti-transmasculinity, but then people liked what I wrote and now its a place where I talk about queer issues & related things I find important.
I’m multiply disabled (both physically and mentally) and I struggle with answering asks; if I don’t answer you for a while feel free to just send your ask again, I will not mind. Also feel free to ask me to explain anything in plain language if you have difficulty understanding something. I don’t mind educating people or helping people find resources, as long as you are respectful and are in good faith and all that.
I am going into philosophy and sociology with a focus on religion, and run @transtheology where I collect posts on trans-affirming spirituality and religion. If you have any questions or want advice related to transness and spirituality/religion (or madness & spirituality/religion) I’d love to help you the best I can.
If you would like to support me, here’s my kofi
Further Resources:
""Transandrophobia" Primer" by nothorses
"As a transfem, what's your insight on the way transmascs are treated when talking about their experiences?" by cipheramnesia
"This is just your regular free-of-charge reminder that when people argue that transandrophobia does not exist, or that its not important enough to talk about, they are explicitly saying they don't care about sexual assault victims or victims of suicide (among other things)" by nothorses
"Transandrophobia Posts Masterpost- 2022" by transgentlemanluke
Pinned post with links to discussions about transandrophobia, baeddelism, and other issues by nothorses
"What is transandophobia actually?" by transmasc-pirate, with additions by doberbutts and psychoticallytrans
"Transandrophobic Fundamentals and the Intersections of Trans Masc Marginalization" by none-gender-left-man
"Hello, I apologise if you've already received questions like this, but can you explain why you would say that transmisandry/androphobia is distinct from misogyny?" by transfaguette
"I Am A Transwoman. I Am In The Closet. I Am Not Coming Out." by Jennifer Coates
This conversation between doberbutts and folly-of-alexandria
Transandrophobia Explained carrd, by myself
Transmisogyny is not the intersection of transphobia and misogyny by luckyladylily
This post on misogyny, misandry, and transandrophobia by thorne1345
"tumblr can make fun of Blizzard’s Oppression Calculator all they want, that’s exactly how people act with discourse poisoned queer discussions" by cardentist
Invisible Men: FTMs and Homelessness in Toronto by the FTM Safer Shelter Project Research Team
On Hating Men (And Becoming One) by Noah Zazanis
There is a hidden epidemic of violence against transmasculine people by Orion Rodriguez
“Irl we just kiss”: ‘transmasc vs transfem’ discourse & reactionary ‘boys vs girls’ politics in trans spaces by S.L Void
Making Sense Out of the Murders of Trans Men by Mitch Kellaway
Collateral Damage: mathematical odds & the sum of survival. by S.L Void
Op-ed: Trans Men Experience Far More Violence Than Most People Assume by Loree Cook-Daniels
How the Criminalization of Testosterone Attacks Gender Variant People by Adryan Corcione
A Tale of a Trans Man in Pakistan by Ikra Javed
Not transmasc invisibility, but erasure: intricacies of transmasc invisibility, and the fallacies of strictly gendered transphobia by S.L Void
Girlboy Boygirl Blues: antitransmasculinity as a denial of individual history & more by S.L Void
The r/transandrophobia subreddit
Personally, we're really not bothered by the occasional quip of "men are trash" or "I hate men" or whatever. We recognize that they come from a place of trauma and genuine expression of frustration. We fully believe people are allowed to express their pain in imperfect ways.
What we take issue with is repeated patterns of behavior in which men are treated as inherently more dangerous or untrustworthy than any other gender. Keep in mind, that this is different than pointing out common behaviors of misogyny from men, that stems from being raised in a patriarchal society.
I'm talking specifically about the rhetoric that posits that men are innately and irrevocably more violent or bigoted. This is gender esssntialism. This is what we are talking about when we bring up people who treat men badly on the basis of their gender. Treating real human beings as if their gender is just some curse that poisons their entire being.
This phenomenon overlaps very strongly with other forms of bigotry. Black men being treated as dangerous thugs - yes, because they're Black, but also specifically because they're Black men. Their masculinity is seen as violent and unsafe, and gender essentialism is weaponized against them more violently because of how it overlaps with racism.
When trans men come out, and are told that taking testosterone will make us angry, aggressive, and most importantly - ugly and infertile. When we experience corrective rape, have our life saving medications taken away from us. This is gender essentialism, overlapping with transphobia and misogyny. It's not just that we're transitioning, it's specifically that our masculinity is treated as more unsafe, more untrustworthy, more vile, because we're trans men.
And this does absolutely start with the way we treat cis men. Dehumanizing cis men on the basis of their gender, will inevitably lead to you dehumanizing marginalized men. You will contribute to the marginalization of men of color and trans men. You will actively contribute to racism and transphobia, because the oppression that we experience is intertwined with that same gender essentialism.
This is what intersectionality is. You cannot perpetuate gender essentialism and expect it not to have broader impacts on other marginalized groups. Because these forms of oppression intersect! They can't be separated from each other. You can't seperate the harm that Black men experience from the idea that men are inherently dangerous. You can't seperate the harm that trans men experience from the idea that testosterone makes you violent. Your ideas about men do not exist in a vacuum.
And this is why you cannot include trans women (or any trans person) in your feminism if you're a radical feminist. It's literally impossible. The radfem ideology on itself is genitalist, transphobic, eurocentric and even ableist. If you want to have an inclusive and intersectional feminism, I recommend you to leave the radfem and go for another strand.
If you pay attention to TIRFs (trans inclusive radical feminists) you will find they talk about trans people two ways.
One is that all trans people are women. That is, trans women are women, but also trans men are female socialized so they are close enough, and non-binary people can be mushed in as cis women or trans women as needed.
The other is that trans women are women (good, pure, innocent), trans men are men (bad, impure, guilty), and non-binary are mushed in as cis or binary trans, (evil) man or (virtuous) women, as needed.
Even when radfems are not TERFs, they are still bioessentialist.
No, because, I saw a radfem on TikTok trying to gaslight trans guys and transmasculine people by saying that gender dysphoria is something that is normal for girls to feel ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ can someone please warn that dumbass that gender dysphoria is a fucking sign of you being trans, LMAOAISGFCDHGXG
The terf pipeline that assigned female at birth trans folks are just “little girls with internalised misogyny and want to be males to escape misogyny” is bullshit! Feat. My experience as an afab transneutral person.
Hi, everyone! For those who don't know me, my name is Angel and I go by all pronouns (neos & xenos included), and welcome to this simple, but big, post.
I think everyone knows the radfems, also known as terfs. You know, these women whose feminism is just transphobia, racism, ableism, generalisation of womanhood and plain exclusion of anyone who isn't a cishet, white, middle to high class women. Maybe, a little bit of queer women, but only in their criteria.
And I think everyone here knows on their infantilization of trans men and assigned female at birth trans people in general. They always say: “Oh, poor little girl, consumed by outside and internalised misogyny, so she tries to be male so she can try to live happily!! =((”
And I say, bullshit, bullshit, FUCKING BULLSHIT! Talking from experience, even!
You see, even though I was raised and socialized as a girl... I didn't experience that much of misogyny. Hell, probably not at all.
“Omg, that's impossible, how would you do that?” Rapunzel. That's the secret, I lived and live to this day like Rapunzel.
I don't go out to stores that often, I only have one way on my daily basis: Home → School → Home. That's it, that's all it. This is how my life goes since forever.
And when I go out somewhere, I'm 9/10 times around one of my parents or my brother. So, my chances of getting catcalled, s/a'd or something are quite low.
I am a hyper protected kid, that's why I am a pussy. And while my mom was mean and a bigot in general in many points of my adolescence, she had enough sense to not be misogynistic throughout my childhood (things started to go wrong in my life, between me and her, when I started to show signs of non-cisgenderness and gender non conformity, to summarize).
And that gave me time to discover my identity without women hating structure of patriarchal society on the way (gender imposition on max.). In fact, I was reluctant to accept that I identified in a masculine way sometimes, because cis femininity (and probably some internalised transphobia) was too impregnated on my brain, at that point. So when I started to feel side effects of an misogynist society, my identity was already constructed, I already knew who I was, so misogyny couldn't really play a role in it.
To give y'all an idea, the first time I've ever been a victim of misogyny was in 2023, when I was 15, close to turning 16 years old, and I was getting romantically harassed by a boy (he changed schools, so I won't see that nigga's face ever again, THANK YOU LORD 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽) and that same muthafucka went on to say, in the middle of class, that women bad and they be the reason why we fail (based off that fucking Adam and Eve story, btw), directed at everyone who was read as a girl in that class, aka all the girls of my class and me. And, since I'm closeted, I had no choice but only be disgusted at that remark of his.
But, key word, disgusted. Not guilty, not deeply affected like any normal woman would; But disgusted. Because misogyny is disgusting to everyone who's not a misogynistic.
See where I'm getting into? My first contacts with what is misogyny in practice came too late to be experienced from a girl's perspective. Maybe from a fem presenting perspective, since I'm closeted, but I only can view it from a transgender perspective, now.
My transgender identity cannot be affected deeply by misogyny now, because misogyny came too late.
And that's not a case only for me, but for many other trans minors. Many trans kids understand that they diverge from the gender they were assigned at birth, even before getting a grasp of misogyny and/or gender related violence, even when they don't even know the existence of the word trans.
So, in conclusion, transness is not a result of internalised misogyny, but being a nasty girl who dismiss other girls just to get male appreciation is (and not only that, tho, patriarchy has many faces other than just sexual violence).
Bye!!! =3
The terf pipeline that assigned female at birth trans folks are just “little girls with internalised misogyny and want to be males to escape misogyny” is bullshit! Feat. My experience as an afab transneutral person.
Hi, everyone! For those who don't know me, my name is Angel and I go by all pronouns (neos & xenos included), and welcome to this simple, but big, post.
I think everyone knows the radfems, also known as terfs. You know, these women whose feminism is just transphobia, racism, ableism, generalisation of womanhood and plain exclusion of anyone who isn't a cishet, white, middle to high class women. Maybe, a little bit of queer women, but only in their criteria.
And I think everyone here knows on their infantilization of trans men and assigned female at birth trans people in general. They always say: “Oh, poor little girl, consumed by outside and internalised misogyny, so she tries to be male so she can try to live happily!! =((”
And I say, bullshit, bullshit, FUCKING BULLSHIT! Talking from experience, even!
You see, even though I was raised and socialized as a girl... I didn't experience that much of misogyny. Hell, probably not at all.
“Omg, that's impossible, how would you do that?” Rapunzel. That's the secret, I lived and live to this day like Rapunzel.
I don't go out to stores that often, I only have one way on my daily basis: Home → School → Home. That's it, that's all it. This is how my life goes since forever.
And when I go out somewhere, I'm 9/10 times around one of my parents or my brother. So, my chances of getting catcalled, s/a'd or something are quite low.
I am a hyper protected kid, that's why I am a pussy. And while my mom was mean and a bigot in general in many points of my adolescence, she had enough sense to not be misogynistic throughout my childhood (things started to go wrong in my life, between me and her, when I started to show signs of non-cisgenderness and gender non conformity, to summarize).
And that gave me time to discover my identity without women hating structure of patriarchal society on the way (gender imposition on max.). In fact, I was reluctant to accept that I identified in a masculine way sometimes, because cis femininity (and probably some internalised transphobia) was too impregnated on my brain, at that point. So when I started to feel side effects of an misogynist society, my identity was already constructed, I already knew who I was, so misogyny couldn't really play a role in it.
To give y'all an idea, the first time I've ever been a victim of misogyny was in 2023, when I was 15, close to turning 16 years old, and I was getting romantically harassed by a boy (he changed schools, so I won't see that nigga's face ever again, THANK YOU LORD 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽) and that same muthafucka went on to say, in the middle of class, that women bad and they be the reason why we fail (based off that fucking Adam and Eve story, btw), directed at everyone who was read as a girl in that class, aka all the girls of my class and me. And, since I'm closeted, I had no choice but only be disgusted at that remark of his.
But, key word, disgusted. Not guilty, not deeply affected like any normal woman would; But disgusted. Because misogyny is disgusting to everyone who's not a misogynistic.
See where I'm getting into? My first contacts with what is misogyny in practice came too late to be experienced from a girl's perspective. Maybe from a fem presenting perspective, since I'm closeted, but I only can view it from a transgender perspective, now.
My transgender identity cannot be affected deeply by misogyny now, because misogyny came too late.
And that's not a case only for me, but for many other trans minors. Many trans kids understand that they diverge from the gender they were assigned at birth, even before getting a grasp of misogyny and/or gender related violence, even when they don't even know the existence of the word trans.
So, in conclusion, transness is not a result of internalised misogyny, but being a nasty girl who dismiss other girls just to get male appreciation is (and not only that, tho, patriarchy has many faces other than just sexual violence).
Bye!!! =3
tried to vent in a trans space about how, as a trans man who’s been on T for a long time (over 7 years now), i have noticed that the more i pass as a man, the less welcomed i am in queer spaces unless i go out of my way to feminize myself. and how that sucks! and it’s isolating!!! and it feels horrible to see ppl who used to like you and be close to you drift further and further the more masculine (& therefore more comfortable in urself) u become…
only to get ppl replying to me and saying “well if you dressed more fem then ppl wouldn’t be intimidated by you. you signed up for this”
i’m sorry but i didnt sign up for social isolation when i transitioned, i signed up for gender euphoria and comfort in myself and my life. and i had hoped that the ppl in my life would be able to see how much joy that brings me and continue to love me.
To any trans man who needs to hear this: When they say they “hate all men” or want to “kill all men,” you don’t have to just accept that. It’s okay to feel hurt, it’s okay to feel unsafe. It’s okay to recognize that they are either othering your manhood or demonizing you for it, and to call them out for it if you’re in a position to. If they have trauma around men, they can work on that in private instead of expressing harmful sentiments around their marginalized male friends. You deserve love and safety. I love you and I hope I can help you feel safe.
There's some science quote out there that goes something like:
'It doesn't matter how beautiful your theory is, if it doesn't agree with the practical its wrong'.
(let me know what the full quote is if you know it)
And I can't help but compare that to transandrophobic rhetoric which says that trans mascs have privilege over trans fems due to them being men.
And yes, in theory this is somewhat coherent, if oversimplified. Trans men are men, patriarchy values men. Therefore trans men should be more valued.
The problem is this doesn't check out. Trans men face the highest rates of domestic violence, IPV, sexual abuse, sexual assault, social ostracisation, isolation, mental health issues, denial of medical treatment, suicide attempts and more.
So even without having to get into WHY your oversimplified theory is bullshit, you should know. Its bullshit. it doesn't hold up.
Try Again.
I FUCKING CALLED IT
THAT BITCH WITH THE PIGTAILS IS A FTM SELF-INSERT
Transmasculinity Throughout Time: Lou Alcott
Yes, you heard me. There is substantial evidence that the author of Little Women was in fact a transgender man! He actually didn’t go by the name that Little Women was published under, with family and friends he would go by Lou, Louy, or LM. His children called him “papa” and “father” and his father, Bronson Alcott, called him his son. He said in 1882, “I am more than half persuaded that I am a man’s soul, put by some freak of nature into a woman’s body.” As a child, he said in a journal, “I don’t care much for girls things. People think I’m wild and queer.” He would pass as a man at masked parties for fun, and delighted in people’s reactions. For his entire life, he expressed this identification as a man, and the character of Jo in Little Women was in part a self insert character based on this. So why don’t we hear about him as a trans man? Well, it’s just not convenient for most people to believe that a beloved book about girls becoming women was written by a man.
This makes me sad.
You guys never deserved this, and you still fucking don't. The fact that you still deal with this is just so goddamn upsetting.
And I know I am feminine to the core (and also a woman), but even I fucking know that this shit shouldn't be considered "the norm."
The fact that parents (as well as doctors in certain circumstances) still force their kids into "being" their AGAB regardless on who they are as people is fucking awful. And I strongly hate how this is how it is, currently.
I know it can get better, but it sure doesn't fucking look like it, at the moment. Change is probably just be taking its sweet-ass time, which is goddamn infuriating (what can I say? I'm impatient as fuck).
Why is it so fucking hard for us as a society to just fucking accept each other for our differences like we've seen in every other goddamn species on the fucking planet? It shouldn't be that hard.
If the person isn't fucking hurting anyone (or doesn't have a history of doing so), we should just fucking accept them and move on. No prejudice or anything to get in the way.
Trans men and transmascs aren't gonna be a goddamn danger to anyone for just being trans or men. The fact that other women don't accept that pisses me off.
And the fact that I share a gender identity with morons that, frankly, might be the ones putting you guys in danger and not vice versa pisses me off sometimes, ngl.
Like, I love being a woman, don't get me wrong. It's just some of these fucking idiots who I SHARE MY GENDER IDENTITY WITH are putting you guys in danger, and I hate that so goddamn much.
This fact always makes me so fucking upset. People always talk about the struggles of trans women/fems—which does happen and needs to fucking change because it fucking sucks—yet always want to ignore the struggles of trans men/mascs or pretend it doesn't happen, and that any trans men/masc who speaks out about their experiences is a liar and misogynist which isn't fucking true at all.
Like you should be able to speak out about the bullshit you face and not get backlash 'cause it is bullshit that you've dealt with it, and you have a voice that deserves to be fucking heard.
The moment we as a society can finally get on that page I hope I am alive so I can fucking see it. This shit is taking too goddamn long.
Being forcefully raised as a woman is not any less traumatic and emotionally repressive as being forcefully raised as a man. Femininity is not inherently pure and safe. Coercing someone to perform femininity is not any less toxic than coerced masculinity. Being dysphoric around femininity or having trauma from women doesn’t make you a misogynist.