Karen: Peter, What You're Wearing Is Interfering With You Fight-

Karen: Peter, what you're wearing is interfering with you fight-

Peter: RESPECT THE DRIP, KAREN

Routine

Paring: Maria hill x Fem!Reader

Imagine: Every night you soothed your hard-working girlfriend to sleep

One of your favourite things about your girlfriend was her hair, amongst other things. Once she got home, you'd pull out that hairband and massage her head, helping relieve her stress about the day ahead of her. 

Your hands made their way up the back of her neck, twirling loose hairs between your fingers. Hearing her hum in delight as you weave your fingers through her soft locks. 

She'd rest her head in the crook of your neck as you lightly braided the strands, cradling her body with yours. Placing the mid of your thumb against her temples and caressing her skull. 

The feeling of her chest flutter above yours with a light chuckle, her arms snaking their way around your torso made you both soft. 

When she falls into a deep, calming slumber your eyes didn't come off her. They only grew heavy until you both were nested within each other, thin snores escaping your lips. 

Maria loved coming home to this every night, you're what kept her going.

Bucky's arm...

Father: Steve

Children: Natasha, Bucky and Sam

Words: 350

“Natasha, I’m going to ask this once more. Will you please give him his arm back?” Steve was fed up with his children, they were always getting into some sort of trouble. “No.” Toddler Natasha tilted her head side to side playfully. “Tasha I want my arm back!” Steve looked to his right to see a small, armless and distressed Bucky. “Little Tasha, will you please give Buck his arm back?” Natasha smirked. “You said you were only going to ask once more…” 

“Natasha,” Steve warned. “Yes?” The “innocent” child beamed. “Give Bucky his arm back.” This time he made sure it was a demand. “But what’s the fun in that?” Steve crossed his arms and sighed in defeat, watching Bucky try to mirror his movements. It was adorable watching try to fold his arms with only one arm.

“Natasha, drop the arm.” So she did. Only for Sam to come up behind her and snatch it before it could hit the ground. Bucky let out a distressed squeak. “What? That’s not fair, give me my arm!” at this point Steve had given up on the three muskrats and watched them fight over his son’s arm. 

Sam let out Redwing and gave him to Natasha, they had to keep in touch somehow… Steve took their comms away. Natasha and Redwing ran out to the kitchen and waited for Sam to catch up. Once Sam made it to the kitchen with Bucky’s arm, he passed it over to Natasha and hid in the pantry. Natasha ran back to the living room, in hopes to trick Buck. 

Bucky sprinted into the kitchen, panting from all the running around the house he had been doing. “Where… are you… guys?” He crouched down to his knees and took a couple deep breaths. Just as he started to gain his energy back he was spooked by Sam jumping out from the pantry. 

“AHH!” Bucky fell to the floor and glared at Sam dramatically. Soon Steve walked in with his daughter and his son’s arm in his hands. “Ok guys, that’s enough for today,” Steve chuckled.

Loki walking in on nat killing clint in electrical: ...

Nat: ...

*dead body reported*

Tony: i bet you it was a self report-

Loki ready to kill him: it was tony in electrical, i got natasha for back up

Nat: *sigh of relief* its true...

Tony: What?! No, it wasnt me!!

Bruce: well i did just see tony walk out from storage, he could've been near...

Tony visibly frustrated: It wasnt me!

Peter.p: why would you kill mr. clint sir, mr stark?

Tony: *distressed father noises*

Bucky: I think my computer has a virus

Tony: is the software malfunctioning?

Bucky: no. Scott coughed on it

Tony:

Bucky: he has the flu.

Tony:

Steve:[Tells them the mission plan]

Natasha: that's fun, ancient one

Sam: roger that, artifact

Bucky: of corpse

Steve:

Steve: Buck, not you too-