Incorrect Peter Parker Quotes - Tumblr Posts

Headcanon that when Peter accidentally calls Tony dad for the first time, he immediately freaks out over his slip-up (as usual) but Tony is running on like -20 hours of sleep and doesn’t even notice the mistake but he responds to it so suddenly Peter spirals into ANOTHER crisis because does that mean Tony thinks of Peter as his son, or did he just not hear him right? And now he doesn’t know how to bring it up without outing the fact that he wants Mr. Stark to be his dad

Peter: “Hey, dad?”

Peter, internally: Wait, shit shit! Why did I say that? I can’t call Mr. Stark DAD. That’s so creepy-

Tony, dead on his feet and hearing colors: “Yeah, Pete?”

Peter:

Peter, tearing up: “Um-”

Karen: Peter, what you're wearing is interfering with you fight-

Peter: RESPECT THE DRIP, KAREN

Michelle using book slang with Peter,

Michelle: Wanna chapter 55?

Peter:

Peter, softly: What?

Michelle: nvm

Ned: You told Y/N you're spiderman but I had to find out?

Peter: Don't be shocked-

Mj and Y/N, mumbling: When you're history book mentions me...

Mj:

Y/N:

Peter: What?

Ned: where have I heard that?

*Mj and Y/N look at each other*

Simultaneously: YOU TOO!?

Tony: I thought you liked the shells kraft dinner?

Peter: I'm trying something new like you said

Tony: but-

Peter: THIS IS ME EXPANDING MY PALLET, DAD.

Ned: When you first meet someone and it's new and exciting, you know that feeling?

Peter: No. No, see, when I first meet somebody it's mostly panic, anxiety and a great deal of sweating.

Ned: are you good bro?

Peter: no, why would you think that?

Of course, I'm good at improv, what do you think I've been doing for the past 16 years of my life. If I had gotten a script for this hell hole I would've talked to someone about it ages ago.

- Peter Parker probably

Spideychelle Valentines day WIP #2

This one's really short

"HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!" Peter ran up to Michelle on the sidewalk. She was currently walking to school, today had been an occasion of shitty events... It was only 7:20.

First, she wakes up late to an empty house, no clean T-shirts and no butter left. Because she woke up late, she was then late for the bus which was supposed to take her to the drug store to get Peter something. But now, Mj had no time and had to get to school.

I guess the Spiderman drawing she made him would have to do justice till she got to the store.

So, with the painfully uneventful day, that one little hug from behind lit up her path and she was so glad.

Peter kissed her cheek hesitantly. It was their first valentines day after dating for a couple of months, he didn't want to make her uncomfortable.

Soon they were walking on the same path. "Happy Valentine's day," Michelle took his hand in hers gently, her thumb running over his knuckles impulsively. That always gave him little butterflies.

"I got you something," he smiled at her as they walked. Gosh, Peter's such a sap it sweetly sickened her. "I got you something too... Well, made something, really," Michelle was scared he'd like something that he could use... Or, I guess, eat...

"You made me something?" Peter jumped up in excitement, definitely not the reaction Michelle was expecting but it made all her worries about the gift go away.

"Uh- yeah, it's just a drawing," She shrugged, not thinking it was that big of a deal. "It's of you, well, as spiderman but your mask is off," Peter gripped her hand tighter. "Why is my mask off?" His soft voice soft arrows through Mj's heart. "I like your face better," She just smiled awkwardly at him.

Neither of them have been with someone for Valentine's day, so, it was cute watching Peter blush at her sudden comments.

"I was going to get you something else, but I missed the bus this morning..." They inched closer together instinctively. "I think it's better when you make me something," Peter looked down, attempting to hide his bright cheeks. Michelle simply hummed, acknowledging that what she did was a good idea but not trying to make the celebration of making Peter happy in her head come out.

It was only 7:40, but this had definitely been the best day with him yet.

*in the group chat*

Peter: I did a thing

Mj: and that thing is???

Peter:

Ned: Not good.

Shut up, you're older than Sesame Street.

- Peter to Tony

Tony: JESUS PETER, WE SENT YOU TO GET MCDONALDS AND NOW YOU'RE IN NEED OF A MAJOR SURGERY!!?? WHAT HAPPENED?!!

Peter, in a hospital bed: I was Mc-hit by a Subaru.

Tony:

Tony: Don't do the surgery.

Ned, running into Mj's room: MJ, HURRY THERE'S A SPIDER!

Mj: THAN KILL IT!

Ned: YOU KILL IT!

Mj: *grabs a shoe a slowly walks into the living room*

Peter, looking up at her: ?

Mj: *Frozen with a shoe in her hand*

Peter, thinking it's some kinda TikTok trend: *takes the shoe*

Ned: SAVE YOURSELVES!

Mj: DON'T LEAVE!!!!

Mj: Are you trying to tell me something?

Peter, placing down their dinner: What?

Mj: I wasn't going to say anything but this is the third night in a row that we had salad.

Mj: Am I not skinny enough for you or something?!

Peter: OH MY GOD- NO MJ, I SWEAR THATS NOT IT-

Mj: Then what is it?

Peter:

Mj: !??

Peter: I have five gallons of salad dressing.

Mj:

Mj: What the fuck-

Peter: Jokes on you Mr.Stark, Flour isn't even a spice!

Harley: So you're dumb AND boring!

Tony: I'M BORING!? I am genious billionare playboy philanthropist! I am NOT boring!

Harley: Then let us work on the iron man suit!

Tony: ABSOLUTELY NOT!

Peter: SEE!? BORING!

Tony: Oh please! If you were a spice you'd be flour!