vent blog | Tw: sh, ed, suicide, sa | trying to heal | asks open
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The Only Thing I Was Looking Forward To Is Seeing Him. But I Don't Know When That Will Even Be.
The only thing I was looking forward to is seeing him. But I don't know when that will even be.
Maybe never again.
Maybe I'm just dramatic.
But it feels like we'll never be together again...
I want to be back in his arms. I want to be with him.
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More Posts from Burned0utstar
Am I still in love with him or do I just love him now?
I don't know...
It still hurts to think of what we had and how it all ended.
But I still for sure love him, as a person, as a friend, as someone who I trust.
But am I still in love with him??
I don't know, I don't think so. Not like I was.
I am a little bit in love with everyone who I ever was in love with.
They stay a part of me, but I think that's all. I think I'm not in love with him anymore.
I want things to be normal between us again. To be friends, joke around, tell secrets, drink and laugh and cry and cuddle.
Just that.
I really really want him back, as a friend.
I'm still lost in the way his arms made me feel safe.
I wish he would hold me like that again and not let go this time.
Remembering doesn't bring comfort, it only brings confusion.
I actually didn't think about him today.
Which is funny and good I think.
But now that I do think about him again, I still miss him.
But it hurts less.
And I am less angry too.
Why does it hurt so much to see his shirt in my laundry?
I have to give it back...
There will never be anything to hold on to anymore. He is gone. He doesn't like me anymore.
Why does it hurt this much?
All I ever wanted was to be with him
I won't see them?
I won't get to meet them?
This was the only thing I've been living towards to, and now it will never happen?
I don't know what to do now.
I need them.
I need to hold and hug them, I need to see and feel them.
How can I keep going now?