I'm Devolving. Again.

I'm devolving. Again.

About 15 minutes ago i was alone and crying in a bar. I think I'm going to do all of us a favour and take this sack of wacko home.

When I met him, he lived with his folks in one of the small towns just outside of the city in which I live. It's a pretty cute town, but as you can imagine, I have some complicated feelings toward it.

Yesterday I spent some time there reading by the water. I've decided I will make peace with it. I will also spend time there, if I please, and not cower away from the prospect of running in to his parents or his sisters.

I am not ashamed, and I will not hide.

Today in Review

Me: I have a lot of work to get done today, and people are depending on me. Oh shoot, I have two appointments that will interrupt my day too. I should probably get started.

Brain: Maybe you should panic and do nothing for four hours instead.

Me: ... well, no, if I plan and start n....

Brain: PANIC AND DO NOTHING FOR FOUR HOURS!!!

Reclaiming

I auditioned for a play on Saturday. If I am cast it will be my first time back on stage in almost 3 years.

Taking another one back.

Someone call River Laurent. Tell them that 1995 called and they want their horrible trope back.

@staff do you not have a toothpaste ad or something? Why do you keep showing me this horrible shit?

Choked

It occurred to me recently that if I was still with him I would never have been able to take this job. 

I work weekends and incredibly long hours some days. It's not a dream job or the end game, but it is definitely a very useful stepping stone.

He would not have cared about that. He would have looked at the hours and told me I couldn't take it.  Then he would have scolded me for not progressing. 

He wanted the tree to blossom but kept poisoning the roots.