Mysogyny - Tumblr Posts
The way people talk about gnc women, particularly young gnc girls in this instance, is point-blank victim blaming.
Every damn gnc woman I know was bullied for their gender nonconformity when they were a kid, ESPECIALLY with homophobia as the undercurrent. But these self-righteous dingbats writing their cutesy articles about how “masc privilege” oppresses “women and femmes” will look straight at a bunch of feminine girls harassing and degrading a gnc girl and call them Empowered Feminists for fighting off Toxic Masculinity.
You’re telling girls, a great many of which aren’t straight, that they deserve punishment for the way they look and dress. That’s it. There is no way to argue around that. You are telling them their abuse is just a natural result of some inherent flaw, that they earned it for having Internalized Misogyny (not what that means).
What the fuck do you think you’re doing to them and their sense of self by saying that the only way that they can happily present themselves is inherently destructive and threatening? That they’re exactly like the boys who are most certainly threatening and harassing them too? That they’re probably insidious predators for even daring to think that someone could like them while they’re so PROUD of being “unattractive” (to you)?
Stop making excuses for why you condone the abuse of gender nonconforming girls and women. Stop pretending that their abuse is somehow not misogyny in itself. Stop teaching us that the only way for us to exist is to hate ourselves.
Gaslighting - one from the vault - edited
I told him waaaaay back in our early days that I was attracted to women.
This was when we were teenagers and he managed to hang on to a group of friends - I suspect the copious amount of alcohol consumed among other mood enhancing essentials tended to keep things light and fun.
Within this group of friends were two women in a relationship together. Some time after I had told him about my attraction he pulled me aside.
He told me that he had overheard these two women talking and they thought I was good-looking. This didn’t really generate a reaction from me; they were in a relationship, I was in a separate relationship, and there wasn’t history, mutual attraction or chemistry. As far as I was concerned they were commenting on the drapes.
He rolled his eyes and spelled it out for me, because clearly I was too stupid to figure it out. He told me that they would probably proposition me and if I said no that they would attack me. Possibly even rape me.
I was shocked. And frightened. He told me most of the lesbians he knew were aggressive like this. He said that if they even suspected I was anything but straight, they’d never stop bothering me.
He knew these people better than I did, and as a teenager emerging from Catholic school I was not acquainted with many out lesbians to base my experience on. Plus he was my boyfriend, and was always looking out for my best interests. What reason did I have not to believe him?
Fourteen years later, I can tell you that this story is total bullshit. I doubt he even overhead them commenting on me.
They never ever gave me even an inkling that their interests were anything other than platonic, and we all spent a significant amount of time together. Furthermore I have heard nothing from any other source about them being aggressive, predatory, or violent.
And yet I was always on guard when they were around (which was frequently) because of what he’d told me.
WHY WOULD HE CONTINUE TO BRING ME TO THESE GATHERINGS IN THE FIRST PLACE IF HE THOUGHT THERE WAS A RISK THAT I MAY BE ASSAULTED?!
This event, ridiculous as it may sound, was a major player in the prolonged repression of my sexuality. And an excellent way to keep me off balance and uncomfortable in public, while simultaneously ruling out those he saw as his competition.
Three birds, one stone.
Her point: His opinion of me is still in my head and dictating.
Me: I ruined my mother's birthday. I completely lost it on my brother, I'm the worst actually, and caused a scene in a restaurant.
Therapist: What happened?
Me: *explains how a local club does not allow women to be on their board of directors or have a vote regarding how the organization (and a shitload of their own money is spent) is run.*
Therapist: This is a reasonable thing to be angry about. How did this affect your behaviour?
Me: My brother defended the decision stating we lived in a democracy and they could do whatever they wanted. I challenged this - can a business dictate who they serve and don't serve based on skin colour or religion? How about sexual orientation? Gender-identity? Which my sister in law (who I feel particularly betrayed by) dismissed as "semantics" *EYE ROLL*
Therapist: So this got heated.
Me: Yeah. My brother said this was the same thing as businesses that run a women only. I said it wasn't at all, and he dismissed me. I lost it.
Therapist: What did you do?
Me: I yelled "YOU HAVE A FUNDAMENTAL MISUNDERSTANDING OF EVERYTHING!"
Therapist: ... so you called him stupid in a polite way?
Me: ...
Therapist: When he was saying something stupid.
Me: ...
Therapist: And this is you being "the worst"?
Me: ... well, I yelled. In public. On my mom's birthday.
Therapist: ... OK. Maybe not your most shining moment but if this is what you consider "the worst" I feel like you might be shocked by the things that happen when my family gets together...
I am speechless.
So I blog about being physically, emotionally, psychologically, financially and sexually abused by my ex, as well as a series of other traumas I’ve survived at the hands of violent, predatory, aggressive, and misogynist men. There’s really no mistaking it; I tag the shit out of this thing.
And THIS is the sponsored ad on my dash? Really @staff ? WTF?!
Someone call River Laurent. Tell them that 1995 called and they want their horrible trope back.
@staff do you not have a toothpaste ad or something? Why do you keep showing me this horrible shit?
They’re everywhere.
My new boss has told the director of sales (my colleague) that she should bring him along when she’s going to deliver a proposal because men are better at closing deals.
He called me ‘Dear’ on the phone and told me I should have more staff on when we are busier and less staff on when we are less busy (how insightful, I never would have thought).
He also insists our numbers are higher than they are despite my explicit explanation (and the math) as to how that is impossible.
Furthermore, he told my other colleage and counterpart that he should speak to me “as a friend” (he actually is my friend by the way) about my attire and how it’s not appropriate for my role. I should dress more professional “ a skirt maybe”, and wishes to avoid an awkward encounter with me himself.
Not that I want to give his suggestion much gravity, but I’ll explain something fairly quickly that he, as my boss, should have figured out within 5 minutes of discussing with me what I do. My role in other larger companies would likely be a desk job with some sales/retention work with clients. I’d probably have a nice office and staff to do about 50% of the work I currently handle myself.
Unfortunately, our site is on the smaller side and I run my department basically from ground level. This means my job is about 60% physical - I’m running a lot. So the suggestion of a dress and heels to work isn’t just offensive and inappropriate, it’s fucking downright impractical.
I have to have a meeting about this. I may get fired over this. Whatever the outcome, I’m not staying at this hellhole.
How the fuck is it, that every time one of these fucking shitbags enters a work place they kill off everything good around them? Why am I the one who has to find something else?
When I comes to being a wife, I'm pretty much just a man in a dress.
So I think I figured out why. Why racism is “more okay“ than animal cruelty.
And the same logic applies to the story of the young woman whos teacher said that the rapist boyfriend should do something “really evil“ like kick a dog, instead of just you know raping and abusing his girlfriend.
You can find it on satirizings account, but here is the short version (because for some reason I can’t insert a link):
let me tell you guys something that ACTUALLY happened in my screenwriting class last weekone of the female writers in our class is writing a feature about this gang of teenage girls who sort of become vigilantes and murder men who harass women Their first kill is this guy named taylor. taylor is one of the girl’s boyfriends. it is heavily implied and the writer confirmed that he abuses and rapes her. not explicitly seen, but she has bruises, there are scenes implying it etc.so. she wrote the part where they kill taylor. and one of my professor’s comments was about how he felt like he didn’t hate taylor enough. my prof went on to say “i feel like we need to see taylor be horrible. like bad solution, he kicks a dog”
So of course seeing this last one as a women you think what is wrong with them. And I guess it is the same thing about racism and people of color, but I can’t confirm it, because I have never experciend racism against me in my life. And that is actually one of the cues behind the logic of humans ways to think about this whole: animal abuse is worse than [insert certain group of people] abuse. But let’s start with animal abuse directly. Let’s say you see a puppy. It is cute, it is cuddly and the worst thing it has done in his life if pee inside the house because it got excited to see you. Noone wants to hurt that puppy. And that is the cue. Most people don’t want to hurt animals. Wanting to hurt animals for fun is actually a sign of mental illness. Killing animals for useage like food, furs or defending yourself is somehting different. But this is about hurting animals for fun. So you have something that doesn’t deserve to get hurt getting hurt. And that is horrible.
But what about people?
While most people agree that abusing an animal is bad, it’s not the same with people. Becaus we all have someone we want to hurt. At least once in your life you wanted to hurt someone. May it be a kid from school that was mean to you or your boss, because he was unfair to you, or whatever. It doesn’t matter who you didn’t like, you wanted them nothing good. That doesn’t necessairly mean you wanted to torture them, but at least let them slip on a banana peel or get scream at by their boss.
You don’t want that for animals. Even if you don’t like an animal, you know animals don’t have morals the way humans do. If you attack a dog and it bites you, you don’t blame it. But if your boss screams at you for something they did wrong you blame them. You want to see them fall, hurt in some way.
You wanted st some point in your life hurt a human, but not an animal. There can be reasons to hurt a person but not an animal. And that is the main point why people see animal abuse as worse than [insert people group here] abuse.
The other thing that I already teased above: If it doesn’t happen to you, you don’t see it as bad as it is.
Even if you faced something similar in your life it is never the same as being a person that actually happend to. I for all of my life got asked why my skin is so pale and that I should go into the sun more often (where I only get red) and I kept ignoring them. But that doesn’t mean I know anything abour actual racism. They made comments about my skincolor, but I never got called names for it or declined a job. So when I see something abour racism I tend to think that it surely isn’t that bad, but then I remember it is. Just not for me. Because I am not the one facing it on a daily biasis. And I never will. BUT I can try to look through it from another persons perspective and know that even if I don’t face something like that, it’s still there and those people face it all the time and suffer from it.
So it’s easier for white people to look over racism against people of color and it’s easier for men to overlook rape. As horrible as that sounds, men don’t get catcalled as much. They don’t get told that dressing a certain way will get them raped, they don’t get told they can’t walk home alone because something could happen. At least generally that is not the case, so they don’t see Taylor in that story as bad as women who face that every day.
That doesn’t excuse people acting shitty, it’s just an explanation why humans generally think that animal abuse is worse then abusing a person or a group of people.
Yknow what? I was 'bout to say something really misogynistic but there's still a part of me who doesn't fully believe in my reasons to having this hatred
It's not that I care about what people would think, I just can't say something I don't fully agree even if it's 99%—
What the fuck? I was adding tags about mysogyny and for some damn reason there's a KINK about mysogyny???
Holy fucking fuck. Yknow what else does it reminds me? I was scrolling through incels.is and I found a post pointing out about a hella big subreddit about RAPE KINK and most of the posts I saw were about women fantasizing about being brutally raped. I-what the fuck is wrong with women?
Yknow what else it reminds me? Most violent porn is consumed by women. Goddamn it, sometimes I think I'm just overreacting or going too far whenever I think about blackpill but it only ends up being proved again and again
I may be rotting but I'll always widely smile and laugh my ass off whenever I see a woman getting sad due to getting bumped or a break up
Something I’ve thought of recently is that despite being used as a joke most of the time, the ‘woman not ordering food and then stealing her partners food’ trope definitely has links to the way society treats women and girls when it comes to food aka misogyny. From a very young age girls are told to watch their figure, to watch what they eat, to be delicate, to be polite, to not be a burden, so it then makes sense that when out on dates it’s hardwired into woman’s very beings that if their going to eat infront of a guy that she needs to eat something healthy so that he doesn’t think she’s fat, that she should get something cheap so she is t a burden, that she should get something that society deems feminine. But that means that she ends up ordering something that isn’t really filling or satisfying so she’s more likely to try to steal a few chips. And even with a man that she is super comfortable with, who she knows doesn’t care about all the things society has told her he should care about there is still that instinct to cater to what society says he should care about. Idk if this sounds like a reach but it just occurred to me that we constantly give women shit for acting the way that society has trained them and forced them to act because of fragile male egos.
Honestly I think episode 8 of she hulk was just amazing, even without daredevils appearance. The suspense building from the moment Matt left Jen’s house was palpable. There was a drastic tonal shift from that point to the end of the episode that I think was amazingly executed especially considering the genre of the show is comedy.
I wasn’t expecting for the video to be released as revenge porn, but honestly I’m so here for it. It’s an issue that many women unfortunately have to face. The idea of having a video like that recorded without your knowledge or consent is jarring enough, let alone it being released in front of your colleagues, family, and friends at an event you were supposed to get an award for. And then of course Jen is viewed as the “bad guy” for reacting strongly at the release of this video. But its nice to see that this very real issue is being directly confronted. I’m excited to see how the show ends, and I look forward to Jen being even more badass.
(And while I’m on the subject, the talks about getting Jen’s blood for something was a brilliant misdirect. The blood will probably still play a factor in the finale but it successfully distracted me from a plot twist.)
This show has been amazing to watch as a whole, not just this episode, because it’s explicitly stated and shown the issues women face every day from episode 1 in the very first scene (where Jen had to deal with that asshole who thought he knew better). In fact, it even called out the types of misogynistic men who exist today during the brief social media scene in episode 2 I think. Here’s to hoping future marvel projects show similar traits!
The feminine urge to tell the men in my family , that they need to stop being misogynists in order to get the women they're looking for . Calling periods disgusting or just being childish with certain aspects or difficulties I or others may face with being a young-woman or going through woman-hood is pathetic . Like if your that bored go find a hobby. Stop hating on us so much that we live in your head rent-free. Another thing I'm crossing out for my next life , shit give gives me the Ick.
I'm watching a video essay about a game ive been interested in playing. The creator of the video, who has crossdressed multiple times, makes a "women arent funny" joke, and i suddenly realize ive never witnessed him acknowledge a woman in an uplifting way before.
I'm on a dating app for lgbt+ people. I've stated multiple times on my profile that i would rather lose an arm than recieve nudes without consent. I will be sent five dick pics for every 2 people i talk to that night.
I'm talking with my dad, who informs me he's been trying his best to learn about trans issues. He says the same things steven crowder brings up when trying to ridicule trans people. I gently but firmly correct my father and get told that ive been fed propaganda.
I'm on instagram, under the comments of a post ridiculing someone for being a misogynyst. Someone's left a comment saying "it must be hard being a woman on the internet" and i respond "it is." I will have every aspect of my appearance scrutinized as a reminder that no matter how well i pass, it will never be enough for someone with bad intentions.
I'm back on that dating app for lgbt+ people. I'm messaged by an attractive looking person, but i can see their partner prominently displayed in all but their main photo, oftentimes striking what im sure they thought was a very intimidating pose. Their bio says "looking for a third for our anniversary." I know that even if I did feel up to it, the gruff partner wouldnt approve of me because i don't pass.
I'm at a job interview for a clothing store. I tell the gracefully-dressed woman interviewing me that ever since i began my transition, i've discovered an interest in fashion, and that this job would allow me to dip my toes into the industry in a safe way. I'm told that i've reduced womanhood to a stereotype, and i can tell by her tone that i lost any chance at the job the minute she realized i was trans.
I'm at the same hospital i got facial feminization surgery in, trying to figure out what's wrong with my bowels. When the person behind the desk gives me a wristband with my patient info on it, i notice a single, lonely, letter M. I ask a nurse in private why it would say that despite me having changed it nearly a year prior. They say they have no clue, and bring in paperwork for me to fill out and have it re-changed again.
I'm living with my mom at the time. I'm new to transitioning, and decide to try my hand at voice training. It feels a bit off, but otherwise im feeling neutral toward the whole thing. I try speaking in this new voice to my mom and she laughs. Now, when people ask if i intend to voice train, i find speaking at all difficult for minutes after.
I didnt have some sort of grand message to convey by this. I just had a thought and then that thought spiralled into whatever the hell this became. Some, okay most, might call it complaining; they are right to do so.
Just found out the term girlboss is based in the misogynistic idea that it’s out of the ordinary for a girl to be boss, and is in fact not just women are cool so what if we used girl as a prefix to boss to call people like. Cool squared. But no. It’s apparently incredibly gendered also. Which okay yeah I get that me not realizing that was enby stupid moment. I’m taking massive psyche damage about this
Do you know how disappointing it is to start reading an absurdist play just to discover that the singular female character has one philosophy and it is “seduce men to get what I want” whilst many of the men make fun of her despite all sleeping with her?
