A Year Ago Today Was The Day I Started To Want To Feel Better.

A year ago today was the day I started to want to feel better.

Another annoyed one:

Sorry.

Let me preface this by acknowledging the posts I’m angry at stem from a lack of support for survivors of abuse other than physical. This is a problem. However that does not give anyone license to throw someone else under the bus.

Don’t try to claim that any one type of abuse is worse than any other.  

The only people who do so have absolutely no idea what they’re talking about.  Take it from someone who’s experienced many of the exciting flavours of abuse this world has to offer -  IT ALL FUCKING SUCKS EQUALLY.  It sucks differently, but EQUALLY. 

There’s no hierarchy of survivorship.  And this scale you’re trying to create trivializes all of us.

So please hush.  You are doing a world of harm.

I just woke up in my bed. In our bed. The paint,the furniture, the sounds. All our home. i could feel his leg against mine.

I wish i could say repulsion is what I feel. It's longing.

Oooo. It's going to be a bad one tonight.

He used to put his hands around my waist and tell me “you’re so small!”

My broken brain was thrilled by this ‘compliment.’  In hindsight, it was a threat:  “I could break you so easily.”

When he kicked me out initially and I dragged my shamed, mortified, and heartbroken ass to my parents place, I spent days in bed with silent tears rolling down my face.

I don't remember going to work, but that doesn't mean it didn't happen. It's a blur.

But something broke up the monotony of misery. My dad knocked on the door and handed me a care package that had been dropped off. It had fuzzy socks, chocolate, and two movies.

I was basically inconsolable at this point and still very much under his spell. But this brought me a bit out of my fog. It was a thoughtful gesture that really meant the world to me.

I repeat, friendship is a vastly underrated relationship.

Friendship is a vastly underrated relationship.