"It's No Big Surprise You Turned Out This Way,When They Closed Their Eyes And Prayed You Would Change,And

"It's no big surprise you turned out this way, When they closed their eyes and prayed you would change, And they cut your hair and sent you away, You stopped by my house the night you escaped, With tears in my eyes, I begged you to stay, You said, 'Hey, man, I love you, but no fucking way' " ~Twin Size Mattress by The Front Bottoms

Still find it hard to believe that people forget I had to deal with a lot of long term trauma and it's manifested into this disorder that completely distorts my perceptions of relationships and self image and will display shitty behavior because of said disorder impacting me in some way.

I get how you feel. It's kinda scary having to wonder if someone's okay or not, and it can be pretty triggering for some people to have to hear about those things.

However, the main reason (as far as I am aware) why suicidal people or those with self harm struggles interact with NSO content is because NSO contains themes of self harm and other mental health struggles, and it can be relatable for people with similar struggles or find the game comforting.

W can assure you that most of us are okay, and if you are concerned about our wellbeing's, feel free to ask us about it.

Again, we apologize for the concern. /gen

PS, please don't report our accounts. We understand the concern, but there are a few reasons why we need to have our accounts.

A lot of us use our blogs as a coping mechanism since a lot of us don't have other coping mechanisms, and sadly there is a lot of stigma surrounding mental health which can make it difficult to find healthier coping mechanisms (it's not easy being mentally ill, i'll tell you that.).

In addition, some of our accounts (including mine for example) are reviewed by or recognized by professionals as a way to get our emotions out of our system (kind of like a diary), so if our account gets terminated, we lose that coping mechanism.

I don't mean to be rude when I say this btw, but just letting you know.

I might stop posting NSO content. My last few posts have been reblogged by multiple accounts that are centred on self harm and suicidal thoughts. I’ve had to report a few people because I legitimately thought they were in danger.

10/15/2024

---

Today I went to Walmart with my mom to get some groceries, and while we were in the bakery section, I saw some really pretty flowers. Roses, sunflowers, I think a couple of lilacs.. Just beautiful ones.

I know I'm aromantic, but I really wish a boy bought me a bouquet of flowers to make me feel special. I wished they kissed me on the cheek too while they were at it.

Why can't I get that kind of love without something coming in and fucking it up?

god I hate being single....

REAL, like why did I have to be cursed to be this stupid virgin boy with little to no charisma whatsoever? god being mentally ill is hard sometimes.

aaaaa i want a bf or gf sooo fricking bad im tired of being single and aloneee someone hold meeee

I identify as aromantic because I already gave up on trying to find a romantic relationship, it's my need for a sexual relationship but not being able to find anyone and how my relationships failed me in the past that makes me an incel (well, I actually identify as a femcel, but you get the idea)

I feel like aro/ace incels are valid because they are a celibate due to their lack of attraction (which is involuntary btw), and I think that should be more recognized in the incel community.

idk, that's just kinda my take.

(tagging as BPD because that's also why I identify as an incel)

Edit: forgot to mention that cupioromantic/cupiosexual can be used as an alternative label to describe celibacy due to attraction (as a former cupiosexual myself), and it's just as valid :>

It's kind of shitty and borderline aphobic to claim most aspec people are just incels trying to get away from the label. You seem to miss that a lot of us don't want a relationship or are already in one. If an aspec person struggles to find a relationship more than most people, it's usually because of their aspec-ness, since it can be hard to find someone ok with that. Overall you clearly have a very warped perspective of aspec people and I'd love it if you took your nose out of our business

I don't have any problem into admiting I excluded a lot of people when I said "aro/ace people are nothing more than socially accepted incel", I was actually typing an smol apology about that since it wasn't supposed to get into actual aro/ace people and I communicated myself badly

except I'm still gonna point about actual incels who use it as a umbrella term to avoid being related with the stereotypes that people think about incels

10/16/2024

I wanna save up some money for something, but idk what to save up for.

I don't have a job, but my mom pays me for doing chores around the house, and so far, I have $21.84 in physical money (dollar bills and coins)

Here are some of the things I'm wanting to get (including amount I want to save up and why I want it):

* A new computer and a capture card - so I can start doing live streams on youtube and make money off of that (since the computers I do have are actual dog shit for streaming and i wanna make money off of that). I already have a switch so I can stream minecraft if I wanted. (around $100-$500 depending on the quality, brand and any features I want. I am wanting a windows 10 computer btw, fuck windows 11)

Some makeup stuff - yes, I wear makeup sometimes lol (about $20-$30 depending on what I decide to get, including a vanity mirror with lights so I can see wtf i'm doing)

Some new clothes - specifically from hot topic because I don't have a lot of alt clothes at home T-T (about $200 since hot topic is expensive as fuck, at least here in colorado)

* some anime figurines - I'm wanting to start a collection since I think a lot of the anime figurines are really cool and also I got nothing better to do with my life lmao (check out my intro post on @nozomi-anime if you wanna see my current collection) (about $100 since at the place I want to get mine at, they're really expensive due to the quality and value, and this doesn't include shelving btw since my dad can help out with that since he's a carpenter and works with wood shit)

* Some tony crynight merchandise - I know I'm in a split with him atm but honestly fuck it. (about $50 since I only want the "in my heart" mug to display on my shelf and maybe the red wolf skull shirt so I can style it with my other clothes lmao)

An aromantic and nonbinary flag - I'm pansexual, aromantic and nonbinary, and the only flags I have are the pansexual and trans flag (and a small paper aromantic flag I made myself), so it'd be nice to have the other flags :> (about $20-$50 depending on the quality and brand)

Either a bike or a skateboard - just so that I can get around my neighborhood more easily (I hate walking ;-;) ($50-$100 depending on what I decide to get, the accessories I want and the quality)

A canopy bed frame - The sun's so fucking bright when I wake up in the mornings and I hate it, and my sister won't let me have my old bed frame (fucking asshole...) ($200 since I found one I liked)

Other bedroom stuff - I was gonna buy some while I was redecorating my room but never went through with it, and some of my furniture in my room is... not in the greatest condition, let's just say. (about $1k since furniture is SUPER expensive)

The ones with a * on them are the ones I REALLY wanna save up for, but I don't really know which on out of all of these would be a good investment.