Where Do Midnight Tears Go?

Where do midnight tears go?

After they cleanse the heart

Where do they run to?

Do they flow with the river

Or against the current

Of a raging sea

Fight their own sorrow

Bury themselves in the burrow

Clawed in the ocean floor

Where do they run to?

After taking all the bitterness

Where do they hide

Do they run to reveal

What lips screamed

In the depth of despair

A moment of helplessness

Lungs gasping for air

After they fall

Where do they go?

Somewhere dark

A forest of snow

Where do they rest

After calming hysteria

Do they linger beneath the pillows

And wait for tomorrow

As I wait for you

After your footsteps are gone

Their echo disappeared

Into the long corridor of time

I sit by my bed

Watching the candlestick

Consume itself with its fire

The chilled wind of dawn

Comes to greet me

I shiver against its gust

And remember your touch

And how warm it has felt

Against my skin

Too warm that it hid

The truth that you are leaving

So I wept like a child

Gone insane for a while

For a little while

Then my own tears

Flodded my world

Drowned me

But in the end, taught me

How to swim to the surface

And now my eyes are dry

Where do the tears go?

After cleansing me

For another sullen midnight

Where do they hide?

Do they roll on my pillow

Linger longer than I do?

Or are they somewhere tracing

The steps back to you?

-Tracing the steps back to you,

Katie, 13:00

We're a beautiful catastrophe, you and I.

Katie, 9:35

It's ironic how I love you so much while you, you can't even recognize me from the sea of faces looking up to you. The crowd shouts your name; my voice is swallowed by the cacophony. You didn't hear my call. You passed me by without glancing at all. Yet I am glad. I would like you to know I am glad. Everyone admires you; regarded as a gift. That should hold me for a while. You're a Haley's comet; my Haley's comet.

And me? I am the shooting star who fell to make your dream come true.

While it's painful to fall from such a height to end up unrecognized by your heart, I am willing to do it a thousandfold to fulfill even your wildest desire. All in the name of the love you traded with the admiration of the crazed crowd.

-Fall a thousandfold,

(I'll just behold you from afar)

-Katie, 16:00

Is it possible darling

To occupy your heart

Fill whatever space

There is like a piece

Of puzzle that completes

The entirety of your

Exquisite universe

Before somebody

Else resides

In the depth

Of your winding mind

And tear you away

From the thinnest

Thread that connects

My entire being

To your soul

-Your soul

Katie, 23:00

All of a sudden I've become numb. I can't feel my heart. I can't feel you. And it drives me insane thinking how this inability to feel is both daunting and consoling.

Katie, 12:55

If all the words constantly storming in my head could be imprinted on my skin, then I would be a walking proof of how often does your name cross even the farthest reaches of my brain. All thoughts I run when I am alone. My unsupressed yearnings. The gleam in your eyes. Your face popping irrevocably in my memory even when I don't summon it. All the love bursting from my chest, an ocean of tenderness that could drown you if I have the courage to spill it.

The good morning wishes. A proof that even in a hazy state of waking, I remember you. And I take every bit of you, inhale you like the scent of Sampaguita mixing with the morning breeze. The long talks during coffee break. The crazy jests that open a secret pathway to my heart. All these sweet nothings. I would gladly wear them as a badge. A moving poetry of untold emotions swirling me about.

I wish there's a way for all of these to be imprinted on my skin. So I can wear you. Even if it means undergoing the pain of being inked. I would willingly bare my skin for the prick of the needle, endure the feeling of being wounded in the name of art. So I can have you. In this sense, even if you choose to walk away one day, a part of you will remain. A part that I will carry for the rest of my days. A reminder that once, in my youth, I fell in love with someone like you. And in retrospect, nothing could have made life sweeter.

-Wear you like a badge,

Katie, 11:00