When Hurt

When hurt

I may break

Like a figurine

May scream

Like a banshee

In gritted teeth

Curse fiercely

Like there's no tomorrow

When it's too much

And I am shaking

All my resolves

Crumble within

I may shed

Niagara of tears

May plead the gods

To send me

A little thunder

To match

The pouring rain

It's given

For my heart,

It is fragile

May shatter a bit

Like a glass

Scattered

On the floor

But what it won't do

Is knock

On your door

Beg for affection

Yes, when hurt

I may roll

But you will never

See me crawl

While I force

Together pieces

That don't fit

If I am not wanted

I will leave

It's that simple

-Simple

(Soon enough, I will learn to love the sound of my footsteps as I walk away from everything that hurts...)

Katie, 19:00

You have the right to remain silent

You have the right to remain-

Oh heart

The law isn't wrong

But you followed the song

Telling you

To spill it all out

All of it

Like water

And drowned him

In a stream

Of confessions

You could have just stored

Inside

Let them boil down

With the cold truth

Memories you don't remember

Forgetting

Now the flashbacks

Are coming too fast

A dizzying speed

Of moments in polaroid pictures

//

His face floats

On the mess

Of stark honesty

Breaking free

From your mind

Why did you say

You love him

Like you could hold on

To this promise

Forever

Why did you say

You care so much more

Than anyone will ever do

Why did you say

You are scared

To lose him

In the crowd

Scared he will

Let go of your hand

And be swallowed

By the fiasco

Why did you say

You will try

You will try to remain

Bounded by the things

That made you, you

Once upon a time

When the world

Was warmer

Than it feels now

Like Pleistocene is here

Playing on repeat

Making you cringe

From a touch

You used to like

So much

//

It's weird

How your life

Became so messy

Well honestly

You could have

Remained silent

Intact with your soul

But you flowed

With the raging current

And told him

At first instance

About the chaos

All those moments

No one

Would care to listen

//

You have the right to remain silent

Yet heart, you talked

//

You have the right to remain

Yet heart, you fled

//

You have the right

Yet heart, you waived it

//

You have (it)

Yet heart, you lost-

Everything

Now all you got

Is the mess

Of collected

Confessions

About how you used

To feel about him

These of course

Are just phantoms now

Frightening you

Even more

Making you hide

Behind the veil

Of repressed memory

An escape plan

Time devised

To free you

From the horrors

Of the past

-An honest mess,

(It is right to remain silent)

Katie, 16:30

I want to be lost

In my ocean of thoughts

Linger in the depth

Of my rambling chaos

//

Perhaps to be lost is better

Than have me stand

Infront of you

But never seen

For you seek

The comfort

Of winding lies

Not the beautiful fiasco

Of black stormy hair

Freckled facial skin

A pair of clear brown eyes

Dancing about your face

Once in a while they stop

To stare

A little deeper

Like they're trying to probe

Into your soul

Completely shrouded

In an exquisite smile

A perfect masquerade

//

I try to know you

Like a sacred creed

But you hide beneath

Layers of cemented lies

You refuse to speak

To my exposed soul

Cast away the truth

Back to the grave

Where it spent

Eons of incarceration

//

Why wouldn't you look at me

As I bare it all

I stand in stark nudity

Before you

But you turn away

//

Are you afraid

To discover what's engraved

In my bones

For so long

Your name

Tattooed in me

In my soul

A beautiful calligraphy

Of pain

An anguished scream

Swallowed by the wind

A tale

Of love and lost

Spilled carelessly

In ancient Baybayin

-Tattooed in me,

Katie, 20:00

(Baybayin is an ancient pre-colonial Philippine writing system.The term Baybay literally means "to spell" in Tagalog.)

“People are people and sometimes we change our minds.”

— Taylor Swift; Breathe

I don't always come back.

So if you send me away, make sure you really mean to. That all of you, your mind, your heart, your soul, have irrevocably concured to let me go.

-If you decide to let me go,

Katie, 21:45