I Hate Falling Asleep

I hate falling asleep

I stay awake

As much as I can

Reality, it is more beautiful

Far more beautiful

Than my dreams

Now that you're here

With me

-Stay awake,

Katie, 11:25

What crime was committed when I stared at your eyes; pondered on the depth concealed within their blackness? Was me locking gazes with you appeared felonious? Have you been offended by the manner I looked? Like I was probing, searching for something. Perhaps a soul I've been wanting to catch. A treasure buried beneath your retinas. Even behind bushy brows, the truth of my guilt can easily be proved. The intent to gain can suffice through my overt acts. Beyond reasonable doubt.

And I will willingly take the stand so I can spill my truth to the world. How I actually stole glances of you for a long time. Near or far, I always managed to look; has always found a way despite unfavorable circumstances. For I seem to gravitate towards you like you're a tenacious force drawing me closer.

No, I won't pay a counsel to turn the table in my favor. I will talk, willingly. Take the chance and tell my truth to the aloof jury. I won't prepare any defense nor hold my silence. I will raise my hand in total surrender and confess the truth, nothing but the truth to the hushed court.

I did steal glances of you in several instances. Deliberately. And in one occassion, I managed to stare at you deeply while holding my breath. As though it's a matter of life and death. Now that you have caught me, what crime was committed, if any? Don't worry, I won't try to contest whatever it is that you charge me. But should you allege theft against me, I will try to raise this rebuttal as lovingly as possible: Is it still stealing when it's already stolen?

I stated it outrightly. I stole glances of you baby before I finally managed to get closer and aimed for your heart. And the best part is that you just sat there and let me.

-Stole your heart but you sat there and let me

Katie, 19:00

Then and there I died

Shattered in million pieces

Without bleeding hard

-Katie, 02:03

I stare at your eyes, deeper...

deeper...

deeper...

Seek for the warmth that is no longer there.

For the warmth,

Katie, 05:00

All the love in the world, I will give my life to catch and store it in a box, wrap it with my austere yearnings and offer it to you so you can have something to hold and to keep after I am gone. I pray that the overwhelming warmth in my chest will engulf you, so you won't feel cold during the winter. I want you to be protected from the chilled wind. I want you to be safe from the night.

The mirth you exuded that magical moment when we drank our fill of wine like the world's going to end right there, the sound of our laughter roaring over the noise of the dazed crowd, your smile that outshined the Milky Way, the "you" who captured my soul in a glance, encompass all the memories I want to remember for the rest of my days. You. Baby, just you. I want to carry you like a sacred creed. I want to kiss you hard, cling to your lips like they're the only ones that could keep my pieces intact. I want to bury you in my skin, hide you in my bones so we won't be separated. But I can't get close enough it seems. So I just hold your stare as best as I can to assure myself that you're real. That we're real. Though the beauty of your soul makes everything appear surreal. Like everything is a dream and I don't want to wake up, scared to watch you disappear into thin air right in front of me. I can't lose you just like that. Not now when I finally decided to stop running from love.

All the memories,

(Cheers to the "you" that I got)

Katie, 23: 35

Your Broken Angel

My wings get broken too;

I can’t fly.

But I wanna be there

To hold you when you cry;

Drink your tears;

Wipe them dry.

Until I wither away;

A disintegrating shadow.

In the labyrinth I hear the echo

Of your screams.

So I’m here

Always, your broken angel.

-Stormykatie