Anxit - Tumblr Posts
I can't Breathe.
My hands are shaking,
Tears are crashing down my face
My eyes are red.
Inside my mind is chaos.
Racing. Running. Screaming
With things and thoughts,
That I told myself I’d ignore, forget, move on from.
The yelling,
The sound of her voice,
The look on their faces,
‘What are 5 things you can see’
The dirty floor.
The sink through the crack in the door.
The writing on the stall.
My hair in front of my eyes.
The shoes of the person in the next stall over.
‘Four things that you can feel’
My jacket in my hands.
The wall against my back.
The wetness of my face.
The tight laces of my shoes.
‘Three things you can hear’
The running of one of the sinks.
The chatter or voices.
The sound of the bell.
‘Two things you can smell’
A strong perfume.
Pollen from the open window.
‘One thing you can taste’
The blood from the cut in my mouth.
I can start to breathe.
The air is heaven on my lungs.
My eyes are still red.
Tears have crashed down my face.
My hands are still shaking
But at least I can Breathe.
@rheas-chaos-motivation
Hi! I wrote this poem a long time ago but I decided to post it. This is experience inspired. I hope you have a good day!
Ignore this post if you want its nothing inportant i just need to put everything im feeling somewhere or i might do something I will regnet.
I FUCKING HATE beaing a teenager!!!
So today we will celebrate my birthday but I dont get to wish for what I want...
So here in Sweden when you turn 15 you get to start driving, well not driving "real" cars but moped and something called EPA or a Traktor which is a car you can only drive like 30kmh, so anyways that is basically what I have to wish for because even though I already have a moped I'm TERRIFIED of it like I'm fr scared of riding my bike because the possibility of falling and getting hurt like exists.
I just want to wish for stuffed animals and stickers.
I dont want to have responsibilities I just want to be a kid...
So thats why I'm crying so much that I'm shaking...
Also another thing is that the boy that I love so so much is so busy that he like never has time for me, I mean we used to call every day but now it has been forever since we even talked.
And I know that I both have separation anxiety and I get overly attached to people to fast but that doesn't mean that when people don't pay me enough attention I will just live with it!
As someone who has been an outcast and for periods of time not really having any friends (end of year 6 specifically, was the worst time of my life and I even tried to take my life) I just want people to pay attention to me and listen to what I have to say...
And I feel like he does that, he is one of the few people that I feel treat me like I'm a person and that he really cares for me, and that is why him not talking to me is especially hard.
Sorry if this is all over the place
Edit: also my period is late... again, like man it's nice in a way but still I feel like I have been eating a lot and so I feel like it should not be late but for some reason it is
lxxxiii.
J'ai regardé dans le miroir Et j'ai vu Les larmes dans mes yeux, Les cernes bleutées, La fatigue et l'angoisse, Le blanc de ma vie.
J'en ai assez Du brouillard dans ma tête, Des nuits noires de panique D'un esprit fébrile Prêt à lâcher.
J'en ai assez Du flou à l'intérieur, Des bruits sourds à l'extérieur, Des ratés de battements de cœur.
C'est trop, C'est trop, Je ne sais pas si je vais le supporter.
Tout se mélange, Tout se précipite, Comme une attaque Mal coordonnée.
Calmer l'anxiété, Le martèlement dans la poitrine. Respirer.
Ça va aller, Ça va aller.
Surtout, Ne pas sauter par-dessus bord.
Someone please remind me in a few years that the only reason I’ve gotten as far in plotting my first novel as I have, is because Neil Gaiman gave me an actual strategy that kept me from being consumed by my anxiety. I owe that man a world of a favor.
I made two grown up phone calls today...... And it's not even 10:30am yet so what I'm saying is you got this