Did Posting - Tumblr Posts

Thought of the evening: I would never have chosen DID; and I simply don't understand anyone who wish to have multiple personalities...

I haven't been aware of my life for the last few months, and I despise how out of control my life feels. I do not remember most of my life; those memories live with my alters but I (now) love them with my whole heart.

I would have rather I never ended up this way. We never wanted to be a system, and none of us would wish this on anyone.

However, I am glad I didn't have to go through those things alone. I'm grateful my mind put up barriers, so I don't have to live every day re-experiencing and remembering those things I've read of in my system's journal entries. I'm glad our mind kept us safe, I'm glad we did our best at the time.

I'm grateful that I had them when I did. I'm grateful I had someone watching out for us even when I didn't realise it. I'm grateful for the system who kept me as safe as they could. I'm glad I had them with me.

I love my brain for making me a family...

but I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

“I am the sum of my parts, and my parts are absolutely phenomenal.” - Jeni Haynes in her memoir The Girl in the Green Dress speaking on DID/MPD

~ host

There's something about having been suicidal since late childhood/early teens that means you get so used to feeling worthless and pathetic that whenever it flares up it's just like 'oh, it's this again - something must be..'.

Or you reflect on the last however-many years and wonder where your life went; where you look at the future like it means nothing and see your progress through a lens of 'I should never have been alive to see this, so why does it matter'.

Where you look back at your childhood self with guilt and shame because you didn't succeed in your goals because you were busy fighting

And it absolutely sucks. But it's okay. You and your system made it. (thinking about that always makes me feel like I'm part of a big family). It's okay to feel. Just please, for the love of goodness, stay. This world needs you. Your system needs you. Your future self needs you more than you know. Breathe. It's going to work out.

If you can live through the hard times once once; you can process it, you've survived hell, and it's your time to feel good again. Know there's evidence (you're still here!) that you're strong enough to live through it. You can process the pain and learn to feel joy again.

The more you find joy in the little things; listening to music, a sunwarmed cat, rainbows, warm bikkies [cookies], seeing a loved one, spending time outside, finishing a little task, craft, learning something new, the list goes on.. the easier it becomes to feel joy day to day.

It's going to be okay. You've already gone through the worst of it, and now you know you've got your system behind you, you're not alone (which is sometimes the issue XD!), but you've got this. Promise.

Sending hugs from NZ 💕🇳🇿

After being suicidal for a very long time, experiencing happiness can be… weird. It may feel foreign, strange, or jarring. You may feel ashamed for feeling joy in the face of your suffering. You many not know how to deal with positive emotions after drowning in sorrow for so long.

If your system is finding yourselves in this situation, we’d encourage you to just take a moment to breathe. You’re not wrong or bad for experiencing joy. Happiness does not have to negate your pain and it will not undo the suffering you’ve gone through. It may be hard relearning to experience joy, but it’s worth it, we promise.

The more you allow yourselves to feel your joy, the easier it will be to feel it again in the future. We truly hope that you will be able to experience happiness again and again and again, with such frequency and intensity that it becomes familiar and second nature to you. We hope your lives will soon be filled to the brim with delight, or at least with small moments of serendipity.

I wanted to ask a question to others DID system. Does it just happen to us to be just so tired after a switch, like i could jumps out of energy and just after a switch bam no more energy

Man i found something that suck so much . You problably know by now that i'm in a did system and since this alter can pop out of nowhere... guess what happened . We did a whole plan that worked and now we have to start again bc there is a New alter and that alter need to learn how to live in society. I don't blame them of course i blam my brain for needing a person who can't live yet among People bc it suck to have to contain them like some sort of animal ,even if they act like one . And i believed it was probably over with the creation of new alters .

If you ask they look like this and called themselves thing