Emotional Support - Tumblr Posts

ESA Werewolf Bakugou

This is my first actual post so forgive me if it sucks. This was not proofread.

Summary- reader has bad anxiety and was recommended to get an emotional support, but they ended up with a werewolf instead.

1.3k words

You had anxiety, to say the least. It was terrible, and paired with your PTSD? God was it a nightmare! The constant flinching and jumping at the slightest of noises was becoming hazardous. Your life was chaotic and you wanted to fix it, so you went to the doctor in hopes of getting medications. Instead, you ended up having to get a support animal. And without getting any meds, you had no other choice but to do as you were told. So without argument you went to the center they recommended to you and entered.

Upon entering you looked around, noticing a calm and peaceful aura about the place. “Hello.” a receptionist said, making you jump back with a gasp. “Oh, I’m sorry.” She apologized. “I-It’s fine.” you say with a stutter. You walk towards her and set down your papers of referral, “I was told to come here to get a support animal.” you say, just like you had practiced in the car, multiple times, before entering. She looks at the papers and nods, “Alrighty then, lets get you back into a room and introduce you to a few. We can do the paperwork afterwards.” She smiles as she walks you back to a room with a chair. You sit and wait as she leaves to get the first dog.

Upon her return you saw another man behind her. You were confused for a moment before you looked closer, they weren’t a man, they were a hybrid. “This is Jack,” she introduces as she motions to a german shepherd hybrid, “He’s 26 and was trained for emotional support.” you nod as you look up at him. He was tall and lean, with neatly trimmed fur and a straight face. You gave him a small wave and he nodded in return. They stayed and talked with you for a few minutes before leaving. The receptionist then returned, “So?” she asked. “I don’t think I would do well with him.” you reply. “Okay, that’s totally fine. I’ll go get someone else then.” she states as she leaves and soon returns with another hybrid.

The process continued for a few hours, your anxiety rising with each new face you met. After the 17th hybrid the receptionist came back alone. “We only have one other service animal here,” she says, “But normally he has to choose if he goes with you or not… he’s rather picky.” she explains. You nod your head, “O-okay, let’s try.” She leaves and returns moments later with a massive figure behind her. You tremble slightly in your seat just at the sight of him. “This is Bakugou, he’s actually not a hybrid,” She says as she holds the door open for him to enter. He was so tall, he had to duck to even get through the door. “He’s a purebred werewolf.” she finishes. Honestly, you could’ve guessed that just from his hulking size but it was clear once you saw his carmine eyes. His stare was intense yet soft as he looked at your small form. You were about to attempt to say ‘Hello’ before he strode across the room towards you, None of the others had approached you, so this was surprising to you and it made your anxiety spike. He sat on the floor beside you and placed a massive paw on your thigh. You flinched at his contact, making him look at you with a concerned gaze. He looks back to the receptionist and says, “Her, I’ll go with her.”

She has a shocked expression with wide eyes, “Really?” she questions, and he nods in return before turning back to you and laying his head down on your legs. He could smell you, and he knew you were practically terrified. He knew you had issues just like all the others that had tried and failed to acquire him as a support. But you were different somehow, your scent had an undertone of what seemed like a permanent fear. You look down at him, still fearful, but the pressure he had on your legs was… Comforting? He looked up at you slightly before applying more weight, noticing how your trembling had stopped. “I'll go get the paperwork.” the receptionist says then leaves, making you flinch. Bakugou glares at the door where she left before returning his attention to you.

Time flew by as Bakugou kept you calm, or as calm as you could get, while you did the paperwork. Within the hour the two of you were out of the center and in your car heading back to your apartment. He sat in the passenger seat, hunched over due to his size. You made your way across town and parked at your apartment building. He looked out the window before exiting your rather small car, looking back at you when you didn’t exit with him. He stalked around the car to your door and opened it for you. You flinched and whipped your head to the side, looking at him timidly as your body was stiff. He kneeled down to your level and unbuckled you. “C’mon, let’s get you inside.” He says, his gruff voice shaking you from your stupor. You slowly got out of the car and locked it once he closed the door behind you. “S-sorry.” you apologize as you began to walk to your door. “For what?” he asks, confusion in his tone. “Well. my anxiety is really bad and-” “I know.” he cuts you off, “I read your file before I went to go meet you.” he clarifies before you could even ask how he knew. You unlock your door and let him enter first before following behind and closing the door again. You give him a small tour of the house, speaking very little as you showed him each room. He could smell you throughout the house, the scent of fear and panic ever present.

Finally you got to the last room and opened the door, “This is your room.” You say. He leans in and sniffs the air, “No.” is all he says before walking away. You look at him perplexed, “No?” you ask. “I won’t stay in there, your scent is faint, so you don’t frequent the area often.” he begins and you watch him head towards your room. “For me to do my job I need to be near you constantly, to help and assist you. So I’ll be staying in your room.” He finishes. “A-alright.” you comply as you follow him into your room. He sits on the floor and looks at you, “Sit.” he says, tone demanding. You obey and sit on your bed before him, brows scrunched in mild concern. He leans forward and lays his head on your lap once more, almost immediately calming you with the comforting  pressure. “Y-you can come on the bed if you want.” you offer, voice low. He nods and wordlessly crawls onto the bed behind you. You were about to turn to look at him before you felt him pull you into his lap. Not expecting him to do such a thing you panicked and gasped as your body grew rigid. “Shhh-” he shushes you in a soothing tone as he holds you close to his body. Enveloping you with his massive frame and applying a constant pressure to calm you. You look up at him, “Bakugou?” You ask, silently asking what he was doing. “Call me Katsuki.” he says. You nod as you slowly relax into him, his soft fur brushing against your cheek with every powerful breath he breathes. He looked down at you with a soft grin, “Better?” he asks, to which you nod. You couldn’t explain it but he made you feel calm, he made you feel safe. You knew you could trust him with your health and your life. “Good.” he says as he rests his head atop yours, “Get some rest, I can tell you’re tired.” you hum in understanding as you close your eyes, letting him take care of you.

≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ That's all I got for now but lemme know if I should do a part 2 or some headcannons ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫

Please do a part 2, I thought part 1 was really sweet :]

Glad you liked the first part, I mostly wrote it on a whim but part 2 here we go!

Summary- You go out with Katsuki and friends and get overwhelmed

1.1k words

After a few days of adjustment, Katsuki was accustomed to your constant uneasiness. He was always nearby, ready to tell you to sit and to hold his hand. He was better at keeping you calm than any pill you’d ever tried. Katsukis continual presence eased your mind and helped you get through the days.

After a few days of following you around the apartment and work, you felt comfortable enough to go elsewhere with him. You looked down at your phone, a new message popping up from your friends group chat. The group was going to go shopping in a hour and you were arranging to go with them. Everything was in place, except for the fact that you weren’t ready yet. Hopping out of bed, you went to the corner of the room and picked out a nice outfit that was both comfortable and would look nice while you were out with friends. You got dressed in faded black jeans and a gray tank top with a white flannel to cover your shoulders. Once dressed, you exited the room to see Katsuki waiting by the door, “What’s going on?” he asks as he sniffs the air. “You smell excited.” he states. You only smile up at him as you take his hand and walk to the front door, handing him his service vest. “We’re going out? Where?” he asks as his massive tail wags behind him. “Some friends of mine invited me out, so we’re gunna go shopping!” you declared as you put on some sneakers. Katsuki got on his vest along with a leash that clipped to the front. He never liked how the leash made him look like a pet, but he knew it was necessary.

Soon enough the both of you were ready to leave and out the door, walking to the nearby shopping district everyone had agreed to meet at. As the two of you walked you held the end of his leash tightly, fidgeting with the frayed tip. Katsuki looked down at you before placing a hand on your shoulder, “Hey, it’s alright. We’re just going to see your friends.” He remarked encouragingly. You nodded in agreement as the two of you entered the mall and waited on a nearby bench. You pulled out your phone, texting everyone that you were there and waiting. Immediately you got a message back, it was an image. Opening it, you saw it was a photo of you with your head down. Looking up you saw the sender of the message, your friend Sero. You stood up and dropped Katsukis leash, giving Sero a tight hug. He chuckled “Did ya miss me or something?” he asks jokingly but you still nodded in response. Releasing him, you sit back in your seat next to Katsuki. “Katsuki, this is my friend Sero. We went to high school together. Sero this is Katsuki, he’s my emotional support.” you explain as you introduce the two. Sero nods and extends his hand which Katsuki took and shook. 

After a small wait and some chatter, the rest of your group arrived. Introductions went by fast and soon you all were walking from store to store. Katsuki stood by your side as much as he could, only being a few feet away when you went into rooms to try on clothes. The day was fast-paced and you were feeling overwhelmed by the fifth store. But not wanting to ruin the mood for everyone else you remained silent, following them from behind with a slower pace. After another three stores you couldn’t take it anymore, you needed to take a break. Walking up to Mina you tapped her arm, grabbing her attention before speaking, “I’m gonna go for a bit, don’t wait up for me.” She looked at you, concern in her eyes, before she answered, “Alright, call me if ya need anything.” You hummed in response as you turned around and left the group behind.

Once you were outside you could feel the tremors in your hands and the shaking of your knees. Katsuki wrapped an arm around your waist to help you stand better, knowing all too well that you were a fainter if things got too bad. You leaned against him, trying to find comfort as you felt an anxiety attack quickly approaching. He looked down at you, noticing your current state before coaxing you towards a bench and sitting you down. Sitting down helped your body relax a bit, but your mind was still racing. Your hands shook as you tried to voice that you needed help, but words refused to be formed. Looking up to Katsuki, you wordlessly asked for help, pleading with your eyes for him to sit next to you. He sat beside you on the bench and pulled you into his chest, gently embracing you. You hugged him tightly as you tried to bring your breathing back to a normal tempo. Hearing your heart beating in your ears was no help at all, though. The thudding through your mind only reminded you of how the stress was affecting your body. Katsuki placed his hand on your arms and lightly pushed you back, “Take deep breaths.” He orders. Nodding in understanding, you struggle to do as he says. Your breaths coming in sharp choppy gasps of air, trying to get oxygen to your body. He holds your arm firmly with one hand as the other tilts your face up to look at him. “Copy me.” he commands, as he begins demonstrating how he wanted you to breathe. Katsuki assisted you for the next twenty minutes, gently aiding you through your panic and rubbing your arms.

After what felt like forever, your breathing was finally stable and your tremors had lessened. “T-thank you, Katsuki.” you said, finally finding your words. He smiled down at you as he then asked, “Are you okay now?” You nodded. “Think you can get up?” “Yeah, I should be okay.” you replied. He stood up, holding out his arm for you. You smiled at him before taking his arm and standing. “Wanna go find your friends now?” He asks. You think for a short moment before you answer, “I think I’m ready to go back home, I feel alright now but I don’t think I’m well enough to keep going.” Katsuki nods before taking your small hand in his and walking you back home.

Once at home the both of you changed into some comfortable clothes, you in some sleep shorts and a large t-shirt, and Katsuki in some gray sweatpants. You sat on the living room couch and turned on the TV, soon feeling the couch dip as Katsuki sat next to you. You look at him with a small smile before scooting closer and leaning against him. For the rest of the day the two of you stayed in and watched TV while cuddling until you both fell asleep on the couch, you laying on Katsuki with your head on his chest and him with his head back on the couch and his arms wrapped around you.

Birb found the best place to chill :3

A Much Needed Respite

Kima I fucking beg of you as your one and only bestie PLEASE GIVE ME MORE

Seeing as you also gave me inspo, I can't say no <3

1.5K words

The days have all been long and rough but recently they’ve been blurring together. Commission after commission, request after request, you couldn’t stay with it anymore. However, no matter how tired you were or how loud your stomach growled, you persisted. You needed the mora to fund your expenses, especially for the little gremlin that was your “Travel Guide”. Paimon spent mora like it fell from the sky and she never even worked to get any of it, she just took what you had earned.

After so long, your body couldn’t take it much longer. You had slowed down, lost your momentum, yet Paimon still pushed you to continue the commissions. “Traveler look! Mr.Zhongli put up a commission!” She exclaimed. Before you could comment or even get a single breath into your lungs to respond she had already taken the commission from Katheryne and returned with a mora hungry grin. “Let’s get a move on! The commission says to go to Wangshu Inn to meet Xiao, so he can lead the way for us!” With a groan you nodded and began your trek.

Upon your arrival you saw Xiao waiting by the entrance. “Traveler.” His monotone voice called out to you. “Zhongli advised me to take you to his abode, lest you get lost.” He explains with a pointed glare towards Paimon.

Xiao was fully aware of the ‘commission’ Morax had sent out for you specifically. Though you felt as if your endeavors had gone unnoticed, Zhongli had kept a watchful eye on you. He knew you were drained, he saw the way you looked as if you were going to collapse. And so he put out a commission to help you.

Not picking up on the rather hostile aura that Xiao emitted, Paimon smiled and spoke. “Great! Let’s head out then!” She blurted. The group soon moved out as soon as Xiao gave the traveler a small bowl of almond tofu, his favorite, to eat as they made their way to their destination. 

Hours later, everyone arrived and entered Zhongli’s abode. Paimon hectically flew into the open area, looking around at the seemingly never-ending world. The fluffy white and orange clouds floated peacefully through the levitating islands that were connected by glowing paths.

“Welcome Traveler, I’ve been expecting you.” You hear Zhongli’s voice from your right, turning to look you see him in his half dragon form. Beautiful antler-like horns protruding from his head, Black arms with golden veins, and a dark tail that followed behind his tall form. “Hello Mr.Zhongli-” You spoke in turn before rudely being interrupted. “Hey Morax!” Paimon yapped. Her high voice getting on her nerves, resulting in your eye twitching. “Saw you have a commission, so what can we do for ya?” Her words only served to anger you more. ‘What can we do for ya?’ WE?! Last time you had checked, you were the only one putting work!

“Ah yes, the commission.” Zhongli repeated as he looked to Xiao for a split second. “There is actually two that I require, so Xiao shall take you while I take the Traveler.” He says, the words flowing from his mouth and soothing you. Just the thought of getting a break from Paimon felt like a gift from Celestia. Xiao nodded as he began to lead Paimon away before she could refute the former Archons words. 

The moment the pair were out of sight Zhongli was at your side. “So what… do you need?” You asked, a yawn interrupting your words as you walked beside him, assuming he was leading you to what would be your next commission. “I need nothing dear Traveler.” His response made you look up at him in puzzlement. “But you had said-” “Yes, yes. I said I had two. However, that was an essential falsehood I had to tell to get Paimon to temporarily leave.” He elaborated his long thought out plan that went through rather smoothly.

“Then why am I really here?” You inquired softly. With a sympathetic look Zhongli took your hand. “My dear, you are at your limit and are in desperate need of a respite. One of which I am going to give you.” He said before unexpectedly lifting you into his arms and making you yelp in surprise. “My apologies Traveler, but I can no longer watch you drain your energy.” He says, silently explaining his actions as he carries you through the winding paths of his abode. 

At his mention of your energy, you noticed how sore you truly felt. After the first, what? 6 commissions? You stopped feeling the pain that had accumulated in your muscles. “I appreciate it.” You say as your head falls against his chest. “It’s really nothing my dear-” “No, really thank you.” Looking up at him, you cut him off. “Don’t downplay your actions, I really appreciate this.” 

A gentle smile stretched across his features as he lowered you onto a batch of clouds. “You’re welcome, my Glaze LIly.” He responds as he sits beside you. “Now rest, I shall stay here.” He stated as his clawed fingers gently raked through your hair. “Would it be okay for me to request a blanket?” You asked, the cold of the abode only now being registered. “Unfortunately I have no blankets. However I myself could keep you warm.” With a small nod you permitted him to proceed with his offer. 

With ease, Zhongli lifted himself onto the bed of clouds and laid behind you. His strong arms pulled your back to his chest as he spooned you while his tail draped over your waist. With the assist of his warmth and added comfort, you fell asleep in his arms feeling safe for the first time in ages.

❈────────•✦•❅•✦•───────❈

The next morning you awoke with the wonderful scent of slow-cooked bamboo shoot soup. SItting up your bones popped, further waking you. “Good morning my Glaze Lily. Did you sleep well?” You heard his gentle voice come from behind you. Turning, you see him approach you with a large bowl with plumes of steam waving above it. “Yeah, that was some of the best sleep I’ve had in ages.” You reply as your arms stretched above your head. 

“I’m glad to hear it.” Zhongli sets the bowl in your lap before he sits behind you, his arm wrapping around your waist. “Where;s the chopsticks?” You ask as you look down at the bowl. “Right here my love.” He responds as he holds the utensils in his hand. Going to grab the chopsticks from his hand you hum in confusion as he pulls them away. “I insist that you continue to rest.” With a soft chuckle he picks up some of the softened shoots and feeds them to you.

Another hour passes and the bowl is empty and laying on the ground as Zhongli held you in his arms. A gentle, soothing, tune was hummed into your ear as your head rest on his shoulder. You couldn’t even remember the last time you felt this relaxed.

“Traaaavellllerrrrr!” You heard Paimon yell as she made her presence known. Flying over to you was the white haired pixie that currently felt like your arch-enemy. “Time to get up Traveler! We have more commissions to go do!” Trying to remain calm, you simply turned away and nuzzled your face into Zhongli’s chest. “Hey! Traveler!” She raised her already annoying voice. “Whaaaat?” You groaned. “Time to get up! Mora doesn't grow on trees, so lets go make some!” That was where you snapped.

“Really Paimon?!” You raised your voice in return, making her back up a bit. “‘Mora doesn't grow on trees’? Don’t you think I know that?!” You shouted. “Travel-” “No!” You interrupted her like she had done to you many times before. “Last I checked you spend most of the money I make!” Your tone dipped at the word ‘I’. “D-don’t you mean we?” She asked. “No I do not! I will do the commissions, earn the mora, actually put in the work while you hover over me and just watch!” You shouted. 

Not knowing what to do, Paimon looked to Zhongli. “Paimon, I believe the Traveler is correct and I also believe you should leave before anything…. Unsatisfactory happens.” Zhongli voices as his hands absent-mindedly drew patterns on your back.

Paimon, seeing she was out numbered, floated away. Once Zhongli was certain the pixie was gone he turned his attention back to you. “I’m proud of you my dear, that took a bountiful amount of courage.” He comments before placing a kiss to your temple. “Please feel no regret, this was for the best,” You nodded, he was right, he always was.

For the remainder of the day you slept and relaxed in the peaceful abode with your love. Zhongli gave you all sorts of affection throughout the day, always having you be his main focus, not like that was any different from normal.

•─────────•°•°•─────────•

Hope ya enjoyed, bye babes <3

Any ideas are welcome, just leave them in my inbox.

(Tap the 'ask me anything' on my page 😘)

Sir, the fetal position is my friend

What are some sentences people can say to sabotage me in career, productivity, personal goals, creativity, beauty etc?

Here are some sentences that people might say to undermine your efforts in various areas of your life:

💀Career

"Are you sure you're qualified for this job?"

"I heard they're not hiring/promoting right now."

"It's so competitive; you'll never get noticed."

"Maybe you should lower your expectations." (I HATE THIS ONE with a fiery passion)

⚰️Productivity

"You don't need to work so hard; it's not worth it."

"Why are you wasting your time on that?"

"I don’t see how that’s going to benefit you."

"You can always do it later."

💀Personal Goals

"You’ve tried this before and it didn’t work."

"It sounds too ambitious for you."

"What’s the point of this goal anyway?"

"Are you really committed to this?"

⚰️Creativity

"That's a strange idea; no one will understand it."

"I don't think you're creative enough for this."

"Isn't that too risky?"

"It’s been done before; why bother?"

💀Beauty

"Why are you even trying? It doesn’t suit you."

"You're never going to look like that."

"It’s too expensive to keep up with that."

"Beauty isn’t everything; maybe focus on something else."

These kinds of statements can be particularly damaging because they often target your self-doubt and fear. This can hinder your progress in various aspects of life.

If you realize someone is sabotaging and manipulating you, the best course of action is distancing yourself from them to protect your peace. The second best is using these same statements against them.

How to counteract sabotage and manipulation attempts?

Educate yourself on everything that's important to you, so that you can make informed choices and decisions.

Learn how to make decisions without dwelling, overthinking etc.

Trust your decisions and don't seek input from others once you've decided.

You are not a bother. You are not a burden. You are not a waste of space. You are not annoying every person you talk to. Your existence matters. Your presence makes a good difference.

When you get erased in the repeating schedule,

It's okay to feel overwhelmed.

if it's too much for you, you can take a little rest.

Cry out loud when the world gets ugly.

When the hand that greeted you turned into a pointing finger,

You can take a deep sigh and shout "This shit is fucked up"

Because you are no different from anyone else.

Why did you choose this painful and lonely road?

Never forget the reason, even if time passes...

I hope your dream won't just be left as a dream.

I'll cheer you on anytime, anywhere (Dream)

Snooze, AGUST D (Ft. Woosung, Ryuichi Sakamoto)

My friend broke her leg so I made her an emotional support loaf kitty to keep her company while she rests

Putting some pep in it.

tnx @veone 🖤

How these bitches have been my emotional support band since the very first time I heard their selftiteld album tho..

Me: *moping over friend moving*

Other friend: How about we break their car when they come to return the moving trailer?

Me: ..okay... 💀

Geraskier Incorrect Quotes [2/∞] (in/sp.)

Saw this, loved it, had to share.

I’m implementing both as like… a cross breed character of my emotions. I felt like I needed a second half to explain my breakdowns this way.

Dibs on wet beast staring at the headlights as they get closer.

Spectrum of overwhelm, now in triangle form due to popular demand

Shop , Patreon , Books and Cards , Mailing List  

Shop , Patreon , Books and Cards , Mailing List  

💙💚

Introducing now: The Online Mom, Sister or Friend Package !

Intended use for: Everyone

All Packages include:

Daily Reminders for Selfcare or Selfpreservation

Reminders to finish your Work on Time

Good Morning/Good Night Messages

Conversations whenever you just wanna talk

Somebody to listen to you vent

Reminders of how Valid, wanted and needed you are

Packages may include:

Nicknames

Randomly sent Jokes, Doodles, Memes or else to brighten your Day

Research on a Topic, you cannot Research due to Personal Reasons like controlling Parents or unsafe/watched Browser Antivitis (Example of Topics, but not only bound to: Help Hotlines, how to calm from a Panic attack, etc.)

Small Questionary(if agreed to) on your current State

If you want/need any of these, feel free to text me whenever or reblog this if it goes for you too, dont be shy and please inform me of: What to call you, your Pronounce and if you would be needing specific Reminders for something or talking about something specific triggers you (also perhaps your Time Zone, so you dont get a Good Night at 4 am)

Unsteady (Brother!Bucky x Sister!Reader w/ Steve)

A/N: Hey guys, this is my first fanfic uhhhh ever.. Please be nice. This is super deep, but then it gets really fluffy and sweet. I’m sorry if the change between the two is super drastic. I’m learning. It’d mean a lot if I could get some constructive criticism in the comments or whatever. Thanks guys :)

!!!!!Trigger Warning!!!!! Mentions of self harm, contemplated suicide.

Summary: The reader is struggling with mental health, and her older brother reminds her that she doesn’t have to go through it alone and reminds her that he’ll always be there.

Word Count: 2,428

You were slipping. And you could tell. The tell tale signs came creeping back unexpectedly and hit you like a freight train. You either slept too much or too little, ate extreme amounts to drown out your pain or never ate because you were scared you’d gain weight, you hardly left your room, and rarely talked. You were almost too far gone. Everyone was concerned, but they had no clue what was happening. Especially your brother, Bucky. God, he just wanted to make sure you were okay. He just wanted his baby sister back.

You had finally decided to drag yourself out of bed, glancing over at the clock. It was 3:26 in the afternoon. You groaned as you got up, and slowly walked to your bathroom. Today was the day, you thought. You took a shower and felt that burning sensation on your hips and thighs you knew all too well. They weren’t fresh, but they were new enough that they still hurt. Everyone was slowly catching on. And that’s when you decided to stop. Grimacing, you lightly washed over them. You hopped out of the shower and almost tripped from fright as you heard a knock on the bathroom door.

“Y/N? Are you up?” You heard Steve say. Steve had always checked on you the most out of everyone, besides Bucky. You guys had shared a special bond since you were little. You always went to him with all of your problems.

You slipped on your clothes carefully, but not before carefully patting your cuts with peroxide and wrapping them up. “Yes Steve, I’m in the bathroom.” You walked out, dreading the interaction. Please go away, you thought. He was leaning against your door frame.

“You okay, kiddo?” No, you weren’t. But you didn’t have to deal with that much longer. You nodded and gave a clearly forced smile, but it was enough to convince him for the time being. “Well we had breakfast, but it’s a little late for that now. Come on down for lunch, it’s Tony’s turn to cook. You absolutely adored Tony’s cooking, but if you ate right now you’d throw up. You were gonna miss it.

“I’m not really hungry, I might just go walk.” Right. A walk. 

“You at least have to come talk to everyone before you go, Y/N. I’d prefer you eat, but I can’t force you to.” You internally groaned, but obliged. That was a delay in your plan. Truth was, you really wanted to see everyone. Honestly, you did. You wanted to talk to everyone and laugh and have fun, but the depression had a harmful grip on you and you just couldn’t bring yourself to it. You wanted to tell everyone everything, to the cuts and your thoughts and feelings. But you were absolutely terrified that they’d find it immature and unreasonable, and just flat out stupid.  

You and Steve walked down the long hallways and eventually into the living room. Everyone smiled when they saw you. This was the first time you had seen everyone in the same room for while.. Probably a few weeks. Maybe even months. Mostly everyone had been off on missions, taking turns staying home. It made you happy that you’d see all of them one last time.

 You had almost forgotten that your brother had gotten home from a week long mission with Sam and Nat this morning. You had felt like an awful sister. Bucky got up and walked over to you, engulfing you in a hug and picking you up. 

“Hey doll, how you been? Don’t tell me you forgot about me.” He asked with a wink, carefully placing you back down. Honestly, you had felt awful. Drained. Broken. Suicidal.

“I’m okay Buck, how was the mission-”

“It was the most epic one yet. So what happened was-..” Sam cut in, walking over to you guys. Sam started telling everyone in a very long detailed story how the mission went, probably lasting around an hour and a half. The story also consisted of Bucky and Nat explaining parts of the story how they actually went. You glanced down at your phone in the midst of the social chaos. 5:13. Enough time to slip out and be alone. I can finally go on my walk, you thought to yourself. 

“I’m going on a walk guys.” You said, mainly aiming it at your brother. They all nodded, giving you the okay.

You went around giving good long hugs. One to Bruce. One to Nat. One to Tony. One to Clint. One to Wanda. One to Vision. One to Thor, you had always loved his hugs. One to Sam, with a squeeze. And then it came down to your boys. Bucky and Steve. Your worlds. You hugged them both, a good long squeeze. As you walked away, a tear slipped down your face. Here we go.

You had walked towards the bridge closest to the tower. You had forgotten in was winter with all the thoughts you had going through your head. You were freezing, and it was already dark. It wasn’t a very busy bridge, believe it or not, so you didn’t have to worry about anyone stopping you. You slowly climbed up and sat on the edge. Will it really be worth it? Is there anything after this? An afterlife? Is anyone going to look for me? I’ve been gone a while. You glanced down at your phone. 8:51. I don’t want to die. I don’t want to leave behind the people I love. Will they even care? Y/N, you know they’ll care. They’ll be devastated. But I just want the pain to stop. Please. How do I make it stop?

You started shaking, completely lost in your thoughts. You did the only thing you thought you could do. You took out your phone and dialed a number.

“Y/N?! Where the hell have you been? You’ve been gone almost 4 hours! I swear to God-”

“Bucky?” That’s all it took. Saying your brother’s name, the slightest voice crack. You broke down, letting out all your pent up emotions. “I’m a-a-at the b-b-bridge. H-help me. I-I-I can’t d-do this.” And with that, you heard the line drop. You sat down on the sidewalk on the bridge. You put your head in your hands and tried to calm yourself down. You rocked and rocked, trying to ground yourself from this attack. Minutes seemed like hours and you felt someone put their hand on your shoulder. You slowly looked up, “Bucky.” You stood up and embraced him, letting the tears stream down. 

“I got you doll. I’m here.” He picked you up and carried you with ease back to the tower. He walked through the living room, gaining concerned looks. You hid your face in the crook of his neck from embarrassment as he brought you to your room, where Steve was already waiting. He sat you down on the bed, tears still flowing. You just couldn’t stop it. You felt like a coward.

“Tell us everything.” And that’s exactly what you did. From start to finish. You explained when it started, your daily thoughts, your plan for the bridge. You showed them the cuts and where you hid the blades. “Why didn’t you tell us?” 

“I felt helpless. I felt immature and stupid. I was scared you guy would just brush it off or make jokes. Or tell me I was being unreasonable. I have no reason to be feeling this way. I know I don’t. And that’s what makes all of this so much worse. I have a near perfect life, with an actually perfect family. But these thoughts just consume me and I can’t stop it. It physically hurts. My chest, my stomach, my head. I feel weak.”

“Y/N, you are one of the strongest people I know. And that’s saying a lot considering who we live with.” Steve said with a half-hearted laugh, managing to get a pathetic chuckle out of you too. “We’re going to beat this, and you don’t have to go through it alone. You will have constant love and support through all of this.” You realized that Bucky hadn’t said anything this whole time, so you turned to look at him. He had a distant look in his eyes. 

You turned around to look at Steve, only to find him looking at Bucky too. “Can we have a minute?”

“Of course.” And with that, he walked out. You and Bucky sat in silence for a few moments.

“Buck-”

“I should’ve known. I should've known that my baby sister wasn’t okay. That she was suicidal.” This was the first time you had seen him cry in years. It broke you inside. He wasn’t the type of person to cry unless he was absolutely devastated.

“Bucky, no one knew. It’s not your fault. Please don’t blame yourself.” You pulled yourself into his lap and he wrapped his arms around you, so tight that you felt like he was never going to let go. “This isn’t anyone’s fault, Buck. You know that, right?” He slowly turned his gaze towards you and nodded. He was rubbing your back, attempting to comfort you. But also comforting himself, thinking about how if you didn’t call him.. You might not be sitting right there in his arms. As he was rubbing your back, his hand grazed your side. You flinched with a giggle, and hid your face in his chest. That gave him an idea to cheer you (and himself) up. “Hey Y/N, do you remember how Steve and I cheered you up when you were little?”

The gears started turning in your head. Oh no. You tried to pull out of his lap, obviously not succeeding. He held you tighter against him, and began to spider his fingers up and down your sides. “Buhuhuhuck.” Your shirt began to ride up, and the cold sensation of his metal arm just made it that much worse. 

“What’s wrong, Y/N?” You couldn’t stand to be teased, and boy did he know it. He flipped you over onto your bed and straddled your waist, pinning down your forearms with his knees. There was no chance you were getting away. “Now let’s find that smile of yours, shall we? It’s been so long.”

“Ihihihihi dohohon’t wannahaha smihihihile Bucky-YEEE! STAHAHAP!” His hands flew to your sides as you let out a loud squeal. While his torturing digits moved up and down your sides, you arched your back. He smiled as you squirmed around.

 “But Y/N, I’m just getting started! I can’t quit now!” He slowly moved up your sides to your ribs. He got down super close to your abdomen, after pulling your shirt up. “Gasp! Y/N! I think you’re missing some ribs! I better count them to make sure. Alright one, two, three-Y/N!” You thrashed around under his touch, letting out hysterical laughter. “You made me lose count! Looks like I have to start over. One, two- Y/N!” You were blushing so hard, along with scrunching your nose. One of your signature looks while laughing was your nose scrunch, and everyone adored it. Bucky never managed to forget to tell you how cute it was every time he saw it.

“Awh, look at the baby. You’re adorable! I forgot how ticklish you were, maybe I should do it more often.” He cooed, making stupid faces one would make at an actual baby. He stuck his tongue out at you.

“Fuhuhuhuhuck ohohohohoff.” You attempted to sound intimidating, but you failed miserably.

“Watch your language! Just for that I’m gonna-” He left the sentence hanging as he dug straight into your armpits. He was not a light tickler, and both you and Steve knew it.

“BUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUCKYYYYYY! PLEHEHEHEHEHEASE!” You tried pulling your arms down, but to no avail as you were stuck under the super soldier’s knees. Your face was turning red, but Bucky had no clue what the word mercy meant.

“Wow! That was a plea if I ever heard one. Hold on Y/N, I’m almost done.” While keeping you pinned, he bent down and pulled your shirt up. You knew what he was about to do. 

“Buck, no. No no no nohohoho.” Your laughter picked up as he got closer to your stomach. “Bucky please- ACK NOHOHOHOHOHOHOOO BUHUHUHUCKYY STAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAP! I CAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAN’T BREHEHEHEHEHEATHE!” Your laughter went silent. He blew a few raspberries and dug into your hips at the same time. Your laughter could be heard throughout the whole tower. He finally let you go and you curled up into a ball with residual giggles, only after you slid off your bed from how weak you were. He went to pick you up and put you on the bed, but you only flinched away from him. 

“C’mon Y/N, I’m not gonna do it again.” You hesitated, but eventually let him pick you up and lay you on your bed. He covered you up with the blanket and leaned down to kiss your forehead. He sat beside your legs and stroked your hair lovingly, “We can talk about everything in the morning again. But for now I need you to rest, okay?” You nodded. He stood up and walked towards the door, turning your light off.

“Buck?” He turned around, the only light to be able to see you came from the hallway and shined delicately on your face. He hummed in response, “Can you sleep with me tonight?” He walked over to your bed, shutting the door behind him. He pulled the blanket up, got under the covers, and pulled you into his side. You cuddled into him without hesitation.

“Thank you. I needed that. I may not be completely fine right now, or even anytime soon. But I’m glad I have you. And everyone else here. To help me realize I’m not going through this alone. I love you.” He nodded and kissed your forehead again. 

“I love you too.”

He needed it too. He needed to see you laugh. He needed to make sure his baby sister was okay, and for the time being you were. And he was going to make sure that you were going to be okay, because that was his job as your older brother. He was your protector, and your best friend, and he promised himself that nothing was ever going to hurt you again. Ever.

And if the rest of the Avengers walked in looking for you and Bucky, and were met with you and your brother sleeping peacefully, they wouldn’t say anything.. Because they all loved you just as much.

Hi-

To be honest, I really struggle with self-doubt sometimes. And because of that, I’m always searching for some sort of praise to lift my spirits, even if it’s just for a minute. Because if I don’t, my criticism and thoughts slow me down, until I’ve dug a grave of negativity that I lay in, usually for weeks. And it’s just as hard to get out of that pit as it is to get your grades back up. And even though I get all this love and support from my family and you guys, most times, I distort those words of love into something that makes me think that I could have done better. I wholeheartedly believe that this message applies to most people, because it is only human that we put ourselves down, so that we can improve. And it’s inevitable. We can’t help it, we’re just wired that way.

Recently, I’ve really tried to let go of my perfectionism, and it’s been a struggle. For these things that I’ve been telling myself for years have been permanently cemented into my day to day thought process.

But it all leads to growth.

In some way or another, you and I will improve and change drastically. Albeit, a very long and slow process, if you’re able to look back today, and just take a moment, take a breath, and just think of all the things you’ve done, all the beautiful people you’ve met, all the culture you’ve witnessed….Though you may not think it, or feel it (I know I don’t), we are amazing. Truly graceful in what we are passionate about, and what we’re capable of doing well. Please, take this message and remind yourself as much as you can, that you actually are enough. You’re right where you need to be.

You are right where you need to be.