Myreality - Tumblr Posts

Shock Value

You tell me you drank like you're proud of it, a little boy caught with his hand in the cookie jar;

it's none of my business, what's it to me anyway? Like you once told me, it's not like I'm stuck with you, right?

Right.

God I wish it was simple.

Divided Joy

There's an insidious voice in the back of my head, it hisses and spits that you only said it out of jealousy.

You see, the last time I told you I loved you, you pushed me so far away we didn't talk for almost a year. So you'll forgive me, my lover, if I'm a little bit gun shy.

Icarus

We come together again, gravity falling naked into the ocean; lovers comfortable with all our flaws and imperfections.

Your hand on my cheek-stroke the sweat from my upper lip, I kiss your finger tips and continue to melt for you.

Ad Nauseum

You don't have to do that, you know.

You don't have to keep reminding me that you won't divorce her.

I came back, remember?

I walked in this time with my eyes wide open and no illusions that I will ever be more than second best.

Because I love you.

And if that means sharing you with her till the day one of the three of us dies, then I'm prepared to do that.

Ephemeral

I hold your love around me like a soap bubble, fragile to the slightest breath, still agape at its existence; the wrong movement might rupture everything in a scented mist.

Shiny

It's the promise you know, that means more than the thing promised;

because I know the weight of your word.

Lover Stop, Lover Don't

I'll be whatever you need me to be right now; just please don't put me through that again.

Pantheon

You are Ares; god of war

You are Apollo; god of sun

You are Hades; god of death

You are immortal in my arms

All Aboard The Ativan

I don't ask about him any more; though there are fleeting temptations. I don't look for his truck at the bar or duck my head when I walk into the store. Some nights I stay in again, do laundry, pay my bills.

I am learning to live in the sound of an empty house again and not be scared by my own heartbeat.

Road Rash

There's a moment when the collagen fibers are hanging in shreds from the edge of the scab, where the pain intensifies sharply and blood; bright and weepy begins to peek out at the center. There's a moment right there when you know damn well you should stop pulling; but you just....don't.

"It must be awkward when I talk about her"

Nope. Not awkward at all.

Where Lies Come Home to Roost

Dreams are deceptive, he lays behind me and I twist my head back to ask what this is, but dreams are mealy mouthed spewing whatever I want to hear, and he kisses a tender peck on my lips and says can we just let it be this for right now? Because dreams are the most chameleon of liars, when I wake to an empty bed overflowing with unprocessed emotions.

Dreams are deceptive, while the reality is watching him cross a cold parking lot and knowing that even if he did see me, he's wishing he hadn't.

If You're Gonna be Petty

He got fat by the way.

Helpless Before Thee

Please God, I pray, just bring my lover home safe

Even though home isn't with me

Just please.

Parking Lot Romance

Yours is the name I whisper to the sunsets that take my breath away and to myself a hundred times a day when the emotion becomes so overwhelming that something has to escape my lips like a prayer like blasphemy like salvation and alleluia

alleluia

alleluia

Amen.

Friday 2241

I know it's just a panic attack and I know all the things I did wrong to bring it on but

fuck I just need someone to tell me I'm not going to die.

Metamorphosis

Tear me from limb to limb through skin and bone

to find yourself and come out renewed on the other side

while I wait for you.

I will wait for you.

Run

Maybe I can beat you out from under my skin like fat tears crying starve myself till my only thought is hunger pangs over shadowing my aching heart tendons

I need to run from your absence.

Wednesday 1339

I dreamed of you last night, I've no idea if it meant anything at all; but for a brief space of firing synapses we were happy.

Today you have not contacted me at all.

In Times of Trouble

I sit beside him waiting my turn for the needles and the ink

our words are casual theater in action the veneer polished to impress

but it's when he tries to kiss me

and kiss me

and kiss me

I wake up realizing I found the steel to tell him no.