My Rants - Tumblr Posts

(TW for pedophilia, child molestation and that stuff.) So.... what's your point? 🤨❓

So, why are you making these “dark humor jokes” on Michael Jackson?

Because, if you do believe he was a pedophile, aren't you making jokes over literal trauma of living people?

And if you don't believe he was a pedophile, what is the point of making jokes that trigger his fans anger and the trauma of people who actually got molested as a kid?

Idk, whether you believe the allegations or not, these jokes are concerning. And asf.

Emotionally ”strong” people don’t impress me. I feel like there is another side to being able to just push through life and being unbothered by things that we don’t talk about enough, and that’s the lack of empathy that tends to come with it. Not saying that all emotionally strong people lack empathy, but desentization to your own pain definitely creates desentization to others’, and this often constitutes the root of emotional invalidation and the disdain for displays of vulnerability that I see in so many people.

What I don’t like about the astrology community is the obsession it has with outward appearance and material success. If we instead used astrology with the intention of better understanding the emotions of ourselves and others as well as getting in touch with human consciousness, and focused less on these things I think we would evolve both as astrologers and people.

Contrary to popular belief, being ”more” attractive doesn’t make you more worthy of anything. We are worthy because we all carry an inherent worth. You can’t go around thinking you somehow deserve more or less based on your looks. You don’t have to change anything about yourself to be worthy of love. Love can’t be tied to anything superficial and if that is the case it is not love.

have been constantly feeling this inner battle between my soft and my fierce side. maybe the truth lies in both, and I don’t have to choose. what other people think about this duality is something I have no control over. however, I need to learn how to integrate them both, so I no longer feel the need to switch up.

I am truly the only one who knows me. Working on not being caught up in others’ perception of you is very much key to living more happily. We can sometimes appear to others in a way that we don’t want to, whether that happens by accident or not I really have no clue but you are the only one who knows your true intentions. Not saying you shouldn’t try to make your actions speak for you, but you will not always make the right decisions or say the right things. We can always forgive ourselves and have our own backs when people try to paint us in a light that doesn’t do us justice.

Being elusive is all fun until you admit to yourself that the real reason you do it is because you don’t like people being able to define and see you for who you are, flaws and all as that opens the door for criticism. Sometimes we are not even being real with ourselves about who we are because that revelation can really hurt. Fleeting, undefined is much safer.

Sometimes I wish to be a few years younger, maybe then I'll get a chance.

Rewatching mujhse dosti karoge and realizing their acting was so good especially Rani's and Hritik's longing eyes for each other and the pain in them. It was so heart achingly beautiful. Also the trios relationship and friendship dynamics were really wholesome. May be because of my growth and experiences, I am liking the movie much better now than the first time I'd watched it all those years ago.

Again the way they were looking at each other when the other one couldn't see it really touched my heart.

Although I must mention that sindoor scene was so ridiculous that it almost negate a the good thing of the movie. 😅🤣🤣

Anyway thanks for coming to my pep talk

If Val still abuses Vox like stated in the old lore, would he and Angel be able to relate? 

Tw: discussions of abuse

If you weren’t back in the early days of the fandom, back then we barely knew anything about Vox. All we knew was a few limited and obvious things like he was an entertainment overlord and one of the three Vees. 

However, one of the things we later learned about him in a livestream is that him and Val are in some sort of relationship and that Val is obviously abusive towards him. 

This was a part of the old lore and while I’m sure Val can get violent from time to time, it seems from episode two that this new idea of Vox has a lot of control over Val’s anger and wouldn’t really allow him to crack or break his screen.

But back then we didn’t know this. Remember when we thought Val would be the leader of the Vees? 

Considering that we also still thought the Voxtagram stories a were canon and Val is shown to break Vox’s screen often, we had a very different interpretation of him.

And with the popularity of amazing fan song ‘eyes on me’ from paranoid dj that also shows their relationship as abusive at the end of the video, this was all we thought their relationship would be like. (Ok but honestly eyes on me is amazing I listen to it like every week) 

Now, how did this relate to angeldust? 

We knew a lot more about Angeldust because he is part of the main cast, and when addict released the show was making it very obvious that Val was his boss, abuser, and that hurts and affects him daily.

When the show released we get a sneak peak of how manipulative Val is in episode 2 when he convinces Angel to come to the studio, but it is the worst in the infamous episode.

This episode’s entire theme is about Val and just how horrible he treats Angel and has no regards for his feelings, body, or well being.

I could go into more detail on just how bad Val is to Angel, but that’s a sensitive topic that’s been discussed to death already.

But as we see at the end of ‘poison,’ Vox gives Angel a look that I can only describe as smug jealousy. 

Which Vox, I love you, but that is disgusting.

In this frame it’s shown to us that Vox is jealous of Angel because Val focuses a lot of his time on Angel and not him, but… Angel is literally getting raped without his consent? 

Vox may be Val’s on and off boyfriend, but he’s very aware of what Val does to his employees, especially Angel. It’s part of why he works with him.

But comparing someone who youre partly letting get abused in your workplace by you’re friend and work partner to jealously because they are getting abused and beat by that person daily to be jealous of because Angel spends more time with Val than he gets to? 

I’m sorry Vox, but that sickens me to an extreme level.

Of course I could just be reading to far into that one frame, but in the context of the show Vox is an egotistical overlord who is already shown to not care for his own employees. So why would he care about what Val does to his?… except when they are the source of his anger and time.

Now, theoretically, let’s say that in the new lore Val is still abusive to Vox at times. Ignoring how close they were in the finale song in episode 8. 

Val is poison to everyone around him, even the people he’s the closest to.

Would Vox and Angel be able to bond over this? I say no.

Angel is a sinner, which is on the lower part of the class system in hell. It’s normalized that someone like him can be treated however it applies to a contract they signed.

There’s no sympathy for him by others except when they care for him and what it makes Angel do to himself (Husk) or when they know just what goes down in that studio (Charlie) 

But I highly doubt Angel and Vox are any sense of close.

Vox mainly works on his floor, and Angel works in the studio. They obviously have met and vox still has that.. *ew* resentment to Angel, but that’s really it.

Now, vox on the other hand, is a powerful level who is on the same level, if not more powerful that Valentino because he’s the leader of the Vees. 

Even if Val abuses him sometimes, he’s probably… into that. 

Look at that waist and tell me that man isn’t a bottom, you get the point.

Val and Vox’s story hasn’t been told to us yet, but by using background information like a old picture of them from presumably the 70’s and how close they seem, I theorize they met a little after Val died and teamed up to become more powerful. They were a little attracted to one another, but it never did and still isn’t official, even if they look and act gay as hell. (Heh) 

So Vox is on the same level as Val and has been close to him for 50+ years. They’ve had plenty of good moments, even if they are both awful people.

Oh yeah, let’s talk about that.

Since Vox is also on the same level as Val, he still is a awful person as well see in episode 2,4, and 8. (His appearances) 

Even if he Dosent sexually assault his employees, he still treats them horribly, as does Velvette. I assume this is common practice for overlords to treat their souls poorly, but it’s still not a good practice. I feel bad for the fish guy who had to make angelic security on the spot, he looks as stressed as me.

He hypnotizes people into trusting him and buying his technology, which is just evil businessman behavior. Someone said he reminds them of lord business from the LEGO movie, and I see it.

He is also very petty towards Alastor in almost every way, immediately trying to brainwash his audience to not listen to him.

I’m not saying being petty is a sign of being a awful person, but for Vox it contributes.

There’s the… look in episode 4, which I’ve already discussed, but it’s important to note that Vox is in Val’s studio DURING Val shooting and mistreating his stars.

If he regularly does this is then he is more than aware of what Val does to his employees and only gives them disgusted stares back. Like all he sees in them is what Val sees, useless whores for content.

Which is obviously not good lmao

And then in episode 8 (and partly episode 6 if you look into it) 

Vox is shown to have spying technology all over the city which is how he regulates his users behavior. He uses this tech to spy on alastor and the others and make fun of them like he’s watching football. 

At the end of the episode, we see him happily dancing with Valentino and Tounge kissing him, showing us even more that they’re in love in their own sick twisted evil way.

Angel on the other hand, is shown to be better. 

He’s in a hotel for redemption and throughout the season we see him slowly kicking his old habits like self destruction, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, distancing himself, etc. 

(With the help of Husky ofc huskerdust for life) 

And by the end of the season we see Angel being a lot more genuine to the others in the hotel and I only imagine he gets better once they find out it’s possible to be redeemed.

Vox is not shown to want to be morally better in the slightest, if not worse. 

He wants to one up Alastor, he wants to take over hell with the other Vees, and he will do it however he wants because he’s a cartoon supervillain. 

I’m not going to touch on what I Think of Val and Vox as a ship in this but what I will say is that Vox is a cartoon supervillain, doing things that even though horrible in the universe are just seen as goofy to us viewers.

Val on the other hand is scarily realistic, a abuser who manipulates his victims and forces them to have sex for his own benefits. I think that’s the main thing that sets me off for them, even if they are evilly perfect for each other. (So I’m gonna steal vox from Val) 

Vox is in a much different position with Val than Angel is, equal to if not above him while Angel is very below him. We see Angel stand up to him in episode 6, but I just know he was beaten the hell out of the next day and broken even further.

Vox would belittle him, so the only way I see the two even talking genuinely is if Angel starts it.

This isn’t like Angel and Husk, where they’re both washed up losers who are going through situations similar enough to bond, there’s an extreme power imbalance that wouldn’t make it as meaningful as Angel and husk’s talk.

There’s an amazing comic, I’ll add it below, but it’s actually what got me thinking about this topic.

If Vox comes out with his screen cracked after Angel was also hurt just to yell at the other becuase he’s ruining their image, then I see this potentially working.

They could share a sweet line like Angel showing concern for Vox’s cracked screen considering that’s his face and it must feel like having you’re skull cracked open. Angel has probably been driven to that level before.

However I have this one image in my head.

If Vox and Angel are both slightly talking and then they both say, “Val can be… rough.” 

I think that perfectly shows how different the two’s situations are with him.

Vox would say it all horny with a tint of love to his voice, while Angel would say it actually despaired and quiet. They see Val’s actions differently because they are affected differently by it.

Vox isn’t scared of Val because he is on the same level as him, and I think that’s the main reason to why they wouldn’t kconnect.

Besides, both Vox and Angel are either too egotistical or have too many walls up to have a legit conversation about Val without knowing each other at all.

If anything Vox is only a contribute to why Val focuses on Angel so much, their relationship is toxic af and we see in ep 2 that Val likes to get a reaction out of Vox. It’s sick and twisted but I wouldn’t put it against him to do something like that.

So, in conclusion I don’t think Angel and Vox would be able to relate to each other because their situations and relationships with Val are so different, even if Val lets it out on Vox time to time his main target is Angel. Angel gets hurt almost every day and I’d say Vox only gets hurt every couple months on a really bad day.

We know a lot of the lore has changed since the pilot and the Voxtahram stories most of these claims come from arent even canon, so I probably just ranted about nothing.

Regardless Thank you for reading, and goodnight. If you have any genuine thoughts about this feel free to share in the comments and reblogs, I’m curious.

Agh…..do you ever get that feeling? You know that one? Of course one of the many that I’m sure some of us complex animals called humans have felt. The one when you look at someone one day and it’s different. Maybe it’s a friend or someone you already like, but you look at them all the same and realize. Or maybe something happened with them something small or big but still you go. “Oh shit I really like you more than I though or admitted to myself.” Then with this realization your world is kinda thrown off its axis. That’s what’s happening with me and agggghhhhh. I mean I love it, but gods am I terrified as well. I mean my track record with people I like is not the eldest and it’s always something I do. So naturally I’m scared and terrified because I really don’t want to ruin this. So as a precaution I was like all like here you see this tiny part my of heart this is your space. Stay don’t move and then my heart betrayed me with my brain realizing and was like here you go baby and opened up the gate and let the person go free range. But I did not realize until something happened and I went oh shit. Are those tears bro? I don’t do tears and was like damn it happened again. So yup thanks for coming to my Ted talk.

It kind of bugs me when people who have read Percy Jackson say "O i wish i could read this again for the first time". It envys me, because I have barely any memory of when i read pjo for the first time. Sure they are my favorite books and they are what got me into reading, but i read them when i was really young.

This meant for me that i rememberd the plot, but not/barely any of my reactions to it. I can never say, "Wow i remember being so suprised when this and this happend etc." So when i read these books for the second time i wasn't suprised by the plot anymore, no shocking reactions for me.

The one comfort i have is that of what i do remember, how i liked the funny chapter names. But mostly, the feeling i had when i read the books and my growing love for them. It makes reading them again also incredibly amazing.

And for me, maybe even better than the first time i read the books.

What are your thoughts on this?

I notice that I feel really angry about the kit conner situation, and that's because it hits a little close to home.

So here is a little rant:

I notice it in daily life too, everytime I do someyhing 'fruity' i feel like i have to disclose my sexuality to anyone.

Like yeah I like listening to girl in red and I am straight (or idfk i'm 16 and get no bitches what do you expect) does that mean i'm not allowed to do it? I'm not profiting off anything by 'pretending' i'm gay. Yeah I like to read wlw books and see series of it, but when people come to me like, yeah you might be a little...

It's not like I'm not self aware, I even call myself fruity but idk I jist feel like it gives me a way out by saying i'm aware

Like they could be right but all it does for me is feel the need to disclose my sexuality. I'm not harming or making fun of anyone. Just let me life my life. But there's is just this pressure. I'm not saying actual lgbt people/allies calling you gay (the intentions are harmless) is just as bad as homophobes doing that, because it isn't. But it does put this pressure on me to tell anyone my sexuality.

And eventually it spiraled down to me calling myself unlabelled, but even that doesn't sit right with me. Because that would mean I am part of the lgbt community. But what if I'm not, would I then be queerbating everyone (while that isn't even what queerbaiting means) / meanly lying? It gives you that responsibility to disclose who you are. While idk, but then I would rather say I'm straight.

While in reality i just want to be 'nothing' not the unlabelled label, just blop I like men that's about it, idk about other options. But i hate identifying. It gives me this responsibility to uphold whatever I identify as. I don't want to do that, just let me do stuff in peace I guess.

"I just want someone to love me for who I am"

Then show who you are

This was my internal monologue about a second ago, because I realized that if I don't show my lovingly 'weird' side that I want people to love then i'd never know if they will. How do I expect people to 'get' me when I don't even show what they should be 'getting'. Sometimes when you do show it and people don't respond the way you want to, it can suck, but it can also mean making a friend / having a relationship with someone who loves you for who you are and with deep connections.

But what if I get my heart broken, is the climb even worth the fall?

I like to battle this thought with something very simple, amd maybe you would say you can't compare the two, I like the analogy.

If you're going to eat something you really love, will you stop eating it just because you know you will be dissapointed when it's gone?

You may try to stretch the moment and take as little bites as possible, but you know you will finish it.

It is about focussing on the present and enjoying what you have. When you eat something delicious, you don't continiously think about it being gone, but try to enjoy the flavour as much as possible.

Hell, make the climb worth the fall, while maintaining balance

And maybe just maybe, you won't even fall, it won't be all bad. The food analogy won't add up anymore because the you won't ever run out of it.

PS:

I know this is easier said than done, but I like to organize my thoughts and even with this weird analogy, I hope it helps someone and I hope I don't come of as pretentious because I have a lot to learn. Also I do get a bit unconfortable woth comparing a relationship to food but I hope that wasn't the messag ethat you got from it and more like living in the present blablabla. Still it matters, and so do you. Have a joyful day or night!

So, I got a problem, does anyone have any advice?

It's not that I worry about what people think of me, no, I worry about how people percieve me.

I will inevitably be percieved as something I'm not (this stresses me out), which (sometimes) causes people not to like me. I still remember someone telling me their impression of me was not great, but with forced proximity they realise I actually am great.

I don't want there to be forced proximity for people to start liking me.

But I can't control their perceptions. Sometimes when I know I am percieved well, I am hesitant to (drastically) change my appearance, fearing their positive perception of me will go away/change. It's uncomfortable.

But for confidence or something like that, I shouldn't care and it is pointless to, but I don't know how. Also, I can control it for a bit. I know that when I look a certain way, people will percieve me as such. So the phrase you can't control it, let it go, doesn't add up here. Of course, I can't totally control it, but I can for a bit.

Does anyone have any tips/knows what I mean?

HEAR ME OUT, Percy Jackson as a SITCOM.

The internal monlogue, akward zooms that catalyse the comedic effect, long seasons and being able to carry the sarcastic spirit of the books.

Strangely, while watching the final episode of bridgerton (and third), i have not finished the episode yet, but it made me realize something. The encounter between Penelope and Lord Debling, about Penelope admitting she'd rather watch nature from the windowstill and prefers romance books, being accepted with such grace. It was not only acceptable that she was not an extreme fan of nature, she was great, because she was her own person.

And though I do know it sounds a bit cliché, but as of late I have to perform highly for school, this scene calmed me.

It made me realize that;

There is no right way to be

You do not have to be excellent at performing in the system, nor only love facts, but can love love aswell. You are right, because you are you.

I never understood the concept of bribing someone not to tell something. Because like, you give the money, and leave. Then they have the secret AND the money. And if they tell, literally what's going to happen?

- You told the secret?!

- yes...

- Give me back my money?!!!

- no.

Like it would only work if you're extremely threathening, but still, most of the times the secret puts you in such a nasty position you can't act out your retribution.

Lord give me the courage to bleed

To stand up and give into the greed

Lord give me the cour-

age to bleed, to stand up and

give into the greed

I plead

the Absolutely False Diary of a Full Time Predator, or, Why I Hated Part Time Indian-- Part 1, Summary

I had to read the Absolutely True Diary of a Part Time Indian, written by Sherman Alexie; I had to analyze the use of color in reference to hope, and I have come to the conclusion that this book is very bad. Now I am going to complain about this bad book on the internet, and there's nothing you can do to stop me. So if you don’t know Part Time Indian (first of all, congratulations), here’s a summary: So there’s this kid named Junior who lives on a Native American Reservation with his Mom, Dad, Grandma, sister, Mary, and best friend Rowdy. Junior struggles with a lot of disabilities, so he gets picked on by most of the people in his Tribe. He goes to this all white school called Reardon and he makes friends with this nerd named Gordy, this Jock named Roger, and he even gets a girlfriend named Penelope. Because Junior “abandoned” his Tribe, everyone there hates him even more now, including Rowdy. So it’s a pretty normal high school coming of age story, and then it takes a hard left when Junior’s Grandma dies, then his dad’s friend dies, then his effing sister Mary dies, too. Then Rowdy pitties him and now they’re friends again. The End.