I Apply Lipstick Until I Feel Pretty Enough

I apply lipstick until I feel pretty enough

(I'm never satisfied)

He doesn't have the right to send me a "love :(" whenever I don't answer him for 20 minutes when he's leaving me on delivery for one hour, I understand he has a life, but I have one too

I was playing piano bruh it's normal that I don't answer if I'm focused, it's just frustrating me so bad and I know that he'll maybe see this so :

Don't feel bad (⁠◕⁠દ⁠◕⁠)

I'm just so bad at loving, when it's me that I feel bad I'm not nonchalant but when it's someone else, I can't comfort them 😖

Maybe I just don't know how to love, and when he'll read this, I hope he doesn't feel unloved

Why am I taking screenshots of the girls' accounts he follows on Instagram AGAIN???

Sometimes I really can't understand myself (⁠〒⁠﹏⁠〒⁠)

bruh he left me on delivered for 30 mins, I feel alone and sad, because I talk to no one else but him and one of my friends, the list is short, I'm lonely and need someone to talk to

I tried to tell him, I'm not the best at communication but I just want him to tell me what he's doing, his hobbies etc, it's just frustrating that I always feel guilty after

It's killing me inside I just want to be well, but since the 1st of September, I'm just sad and feeling more depressed than everything else

I feel like he's so sensitive and I'm already too sensitive, it's destroying everything because I'm not happy with it

But if I say nothing about him being absent, he would just tell me that he feels like I'm not loving him anymore and that we're getting distant ughh

Is it all my fault ? I feel like there's no issue

It's a bigger venting lol I feel so overwhelmed and sad

He's the man that I wanted but why is everything getting so bad lately

The world is against me (⁠ ⁠･ั⁠﹏⁠･ั⁠)

(I like putting cute gifs after saying the most depressing sh!t lol)

TW : MENTION OF KMS

I just tried to kms, it's horrible, my body felt panic when it felt like I could finally do it and end it all but the panic was so big that I stopped

I knew it would happen this week, it's not my first time trying, I'm so scared of dying but yk I'm terribly tired of life

EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING is bothering me

I want to cry when dad's voice is a little too loud while talking to me, is it a curse to be so sensitive ?

Of course, I'm not going to tell anyone about this, just Tumblr and me (⁠｡⁠ﾉ⁠ω⁠＼⁠｡⁠)

:D