I Confess, Doubt Has Been Restraining Me From The Beginning. I Didn't Really Think We Can Make It. But

I confess, doubt has been restraining me from the beginning. I didn't really think we can make it. But look at us, we made it this far.

We made it this far to say goodbye.

(Surprisingly, we made it farther than I thought)

Katie, 21:00

Ours is not a romance. It is a tragedy. History made it so. Not to tell a lesson. But to make people feel...feel something. Love is not always good for the heart. It is not always butterflies in the stomach, or a bouquet of freshly picked roses. It is a game that we have to play sometimes. Even though the rules are not always fair and you have to die a death you don't deserve to give life to the other. You can't complain. Nor file an appeal. That's not how it works. For the jury, it doesn't always give its verdict in favor of the hopeless romantic. The judge passes your sentence with the pound of his gavel. And the next thing you know, you're being thrown in a faraway dungeon. No, it is not a romance at all. History has its own messy twists, don't you think? And love...it is not always blissful. So if you have to drink from that cup, make sure you are capable of enduring unspeakable things. For that's the essense of everything love has ever put forth for the sake of its own godly name.

-Love isn't always good for the hopeless romantic,

Katie, 20:00

You have the right to remain silent

You have the right to remain-

Oh heart

The law isn't wrong

But you followed the song

Telling you

To spill it all out

All of it

Like water

And drowned him

In a stream

Of confessions

You could have just stored

Inside

Let them boil down

With the cold truth

Memories you don't remember

Forgetting

Now the flashbacks

Are coming too fast

A dizzying speed

Of moments in polaroid pictures

//

His face floats

On the mess

Of stark honesty

Breaking free

From your mind

Why did you say

You love him

Like you could hold on

To this promise

Forever

Why did you say

You care so much more

Than anyone will ever do

Why did you say

You are scared

To lose him

In the crowd

Scared he will

Let go of your hand

And be swallowed

By the fiasco

Why did you say

You will try

You will try to remain

Bounded by the things

That made you, you

Once upon a time

When the world

Was warmer

Than it feels now

Like Pleistocene is here

Playing on repeat

Making you cringe

From a touch

You used to like

So much

//

It's weird

How your life

Became so messy

Well honestly

You could have

Remained silent

Intact with your soul

But you flowed

With the raging current

And told him

At first instance

About the chaos

All those moments

No one

Would care to listen

//

You have the right to remain silent

Yet heart, you talked

//

You have the right to remain

Yet heart, you fled

//

You have the right

Yet heart, you waived it

//

You have (it)

Yet heart, you lost-

Everything

Now all you got

Is the mess

Of collected

Confessions

About how you used

To feel about him

These of course

Are just phantoms now

Frightening you

Even more

Making you hide

Behind the veil

Of repressed memory

An escape plan

Time devised

To free you

From the horrors

Of the past

-An honest mess,

(It is right to remain silent)

Katie, 16:30

If your world becomes a desert of snow,

I hope my love is en0ugh to warm you

Stormykatie, April 20th

Even my demons stop to listen; savor the cadence of your voice rhyming with my heart, like I finally found the missing line of my unwritten poem.

-Unwritten poem,

Katie, 22:00