Aro Culture Is - Tumblr Posts
The struggles real, am I right?
Being polyamorous while also being aroace has been the most confusing shit of my life. I just wanna vibe in a polycule and I want to feel cared for. I feel cared for my friends at the moment, so I’m okay now, but it’d be nice in the future, cause I don’t wanna live alone. I really shoulda known I was aro though....like the signs were so obvious...and ace even more obvious. I am glad though that I basically embody chaos at this point.
It’s funny being somewhat extroverted and being aroace. I love it! I feel like a double agent.
Also the line between romance and friendship is so convoluted at this point that I really don’t see the difference. People kiss their friends. They make out with their friends. I mean people even fuck their friends. So where is the line. I’d say it depends on a) your boundaries, b) how you feel, and c) and where you’re at right now. Basically, all of it is subjective and I can’t tell when people are in relationships, so I always assume that they are friends cause I can’t tell.
I know it isn’t the best to be “pal paling” people, but I wouldn’t deem it a bad thing. There’s barely any aro-spec representation. Everyone has a story to tell, and perhaps even through little things, you should share your story.
On a side note, I’m literally creating a story because I decided to create my own representation. First it was for gender, now it’s for ma sexuality and romantic orientation.
It funny how I was able to accept that I was ace, granted I was in denial about it for some time. Then I realized I was aro and was like...”NONONO...I know I have no desire to date anyone, but NONONONONONONOnonono....I haven’t dated anyone...I don’t know what a crush feels like, let alone attraction!!! I’ve never had any fantasies!!! Wait-...people fantasize ABOUT ONE ANOTHER?!! I wouldn’t date any stranger or my friends!!!” and then I had the most funny thought at a certain point (before I knew the term aromantic) and it was, “Well maybe if I move countries I’ll be able to fall in love!!!!”, and meanwhile when romance/sex would show up in media I’d be like “Where is the plot?! Why did we lose the plot?! People actually want this?! WAIT-?! Do people act like this?!”. I also thought people were just deadass lying when they said they experienced crushes in kindergarten, which they probably weren’t lying. I will say though I do love food. I mean pesto is an absolute god. Chocolate is amazing (though if don’t like chocolate that’s cool too, same with any other food). But bread...oh my god! I love naan, rolls, and most breads.
I know! Though I do think that some of them might’ve had platonic crushes (”squishes”) rather than romantic crushes, but yeah romance doesn’t compute or make sense. It definitely seems subjective and varying on the individuals boundaries and then to add on top of that there’s also trauma and just one’s overall lived experience, though I do notice that some people will change their boundaries once getting to know someone as it can be a little awkward when getting to know someone in general. So yeah, basically I 100% agree with what you said above, as they don’t seem serious, but maybe they could be, not like I know.
It funny how I was able to accept that I was ace, granted I was in denial about it for some time. Then I realized I was aro and was like…”NONONO…I know I have no desire to date anyone, but NONONONONONONOnonono….I haven’t dated anyone…I don’t know what a crush feels like, let alone attraction!!! I’ve never had any fantasies!!! Wait-…people fantasize ABOUT ONE ANOTHER?!! I wouldn’t date any stranger or my friends!!!” and then I had the most funny thought at a certain point (before I knew the term aromantic) and it was, “Well maybe if I move countries I’ll be able to fall in love!!!!”, and meanwhile when romance/sex would show up in media I’d be like “Where is the plot?! Why did we lose the plot?! People actually want this?! WAIT-?! Do people act like this?!”. I also thought people were just deadass lying when they said they experienced crushes in kindergarten, which they probably weren’t lying. I will say though I do love food. I mean pesto is an absolute god. Chocolate is amazing (though if don’t like chocolate that’s cool too, same with any other food). But bread…oh my god! I love naan, rolls, and most breads.
A rant about being aromantic as well as asexual while being a teen
It sucks dude. I feel behind and a part of me doesn’t care, but another part of me is going, “WHY ME?!”. And some of it, at least for me, is in part due to trauma, and also lack of attraction. Sometimes I just wish I could feel something, you know. I also don’t want to be in a qpr with anyone, but I just want friends. The problem is due to trust issues I’m scared to hug them and stuff, so that causes me to get a bit touch starved, even though I could just ask. Everything is just scary. I do love my friends in the most platonic way and that’s it. They are truly wonderful people, but I wish I could...well fit in more sometimes. I know that it’s sappy and honestly not the best outlook to want to fit in, but I just wonder what it feels like to fit in, or perhaps everyone is just faking it regardless. I’m a bit sad and scared my friends will leave me for their partner(s), though I don’t think they would, as one of them is dating some peeps and they’re really chill and equally care and I guess I’m scared that I’m just not loved by my friends. I think they do love me and I have this tendency to give to much and never relax because I’m just a people pleaser. So overall, I’m just a lil’ lonely and sad and I wanted to rant on here because people seem pretty chill.
Alright so as an a-spec, trans, and non-binary person, I’ve taken it upon myself to create a story in the medium of comics. I’ve doin’ this for a while though, like 2 years...and HOLY SHIT!!! I feel as if I’ve grown with the characters, and I know how it’s going to end. I often find that my characters represent parts of myself rather than the people in my life. My goal is to finish it and post it on the internet, though I kinda already did, by posting the first ten pages. It’s gonna be two volumes, so as you can imagine, shit goes down. Granted, the first 20 pages are kinda rushed, but I wanted 228 pages max for the first volume, and I want the second to be 200. The main character, Noel (they/them), is non-binary and is figuring out their sexuality, so yeah :).
I feel as I’ve accepted my aroace-ness I’ve become so much gayer and I don’t know how, but I’m vibing with it.
aro culture is supporting and making space for each other's experiences
; autistic arospec culture is not understanding the whole " I'd do this but my romantic partner doesn't want me to " or " I love this but my romantic partner doesn't so idk !! "
Love at first sight doesn’t exist, that’s just attraction that allos lie about to make it seem more ✨special✨
Aro culture is not believing in love at first sight and then being hit with reality that some people actually do fall in love at first sight
I think that has to do more with privacy and personal informations, tbh. If someone told another person about a secret I don't feel ready to share, I'd feel upset too.
greyromantic culture is when your sister tells you that she thinks your friend has a crush on you, so later you go up to your friend and say "my sister told me that she thinks you have a crush on me" and not seeing why anyone would have a problem with that
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I unironically imagine/make a platonic glmv out of remember the time by Michael Jackson in my head w/ two of my ocs- =D
aro culture is being obsessed with love songs but twisting their meaning in your head to make them platonic
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It's basically aesthetic attraction with silly fights of “they're my spouse, y'all just side hoes” jokes.
aro culture is being super confused by the concept of celebrity crushes
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Real, because, how do I explain that Janet Jackson is the fjdjrvdht FINEST WOMAN I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE- but I wouldn't actually marry her or sumth-
I mean, at least I had a reasonable excuse with Midari Ikishima back in 2021, because firstly: I was 13 and she's 18 years old, secondly, she was a literal psycho who could murder me.
Also, how the fuck did she became my first fictional crush, WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME??😭
oriented aroace culture is struggling to explain how much you love women aesthetically without making it weird
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Aro culture is the song Defying Gravity from Wicked. Aro culture is also the line “Yes, I’m alone, but I’m alone and free” from Frozen, and just the entirety of Elsa from Frozen, especially the song “Show Yourself” from Frozen II (You are the one you’ve been waiting for all of your life). (Obligatory f Disney)
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Aroace culture is tryna figure out what my orientation is and thinking I’m probably polyamorous bc I don’t understand why someone wouldn’t be, and telling that to my mom and she goes “I just don’t understand. I could never.” And being like??? Why??
aro culture is being confused about the concept of cheating. oh she was dating someone else at the same time? simple decision; ask her second boyfriend on a date. +1 boyfriend. easy. my friends have stopped asking me for love advice
it's about honesty, trust, and boundaries. largely, most folks assume that when you agree to date, you are agreeing to a social contract in which you date one individual only at a time. It's a boundary.
And then if they don't tell you about another person, how are you supposed to trust them in an intimate relationship where the future expectation often involves marriage (legally, this often means joint finances, joint housing, joint bills, etc etc etc) and possibly children. Those are huge commitments to make with someone who isn't honest about their boundaries with you on a level where it's pretty obvious you're expected, in most major cultures, to disclose if you're looking into the idea even of polyamory.
Broadly, though, all relationship advice boils down to the same things: communicate or break up. If you cannot communicate, you cannot sustain a healthy relationship. If you cannot communicate, you cannot set healthy boundaries, you cannot make important decisions, and frankly, both you and the other individual(s) suffer for it. This usually means: "I feel xyz when you abc", both for positive and negative experiences. If you want more of it, say that - if you want less, say that. If this didn't change the behavior, you might need to move to setting up boundaries. These need to be actionable on your end and you must follow through, or you are not creating a boundary. A boundary is not "Stop doing this." A boundary is "If you continue to do this, I will respond like this." Ie, "If you spend a large amount of our money without first discussing with me, I will move to a separate financial account and you will not have access to it. I cannot be held responsible for your actions." And in turn - if you're asked to change your behaviors, you can get a lot further by communicating what you're doing.
Just some thoughts, basically.
lmao i remember when i was like about 10-11 years old i cut out paper hearts and gave them to all my classmates on valentine...
This was obviously before I knew I was aromantic but I was just thought it was complete bullsh!t and didn't want anyone to feel bad, so I just did that I guess.
But turns out only my teacher appreciated it so that was kinda sad...
aro culture is sending your best friend a valentine's gift to spite the amatonormativity
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Y'ALL HAPPY AROSPEC AWARENESS WEEK!
Being on the aromantic spectrum means that you experience little to no romantic attraction.
The term aromantic can be used as an umbrella term for all arospec identities:
Aromantic
Greyromantic
Demiromantic
Frayromantic
Aroflux
Arospike
Lithromantic
Quoiromantic
Cupioromantic
And many more...
For more informantion about these identities:
https://lgbta.wikia.org/wiki/Aromantic_Spectrum
Arospec people can still be in a romantic relationship or in a queerplatonic relationship or in a sexual relationship or honestly whatever sort of relationship they choose to be in, all of these can be with 1 or multiple partners but they can also do none of those things.
A common misconception is that aromantic people also "have" to be asexual, this is not true. Being aromantic has nothing to do with your sexual orientation so arospec people can still basically be any sexuality.
For example: aro lesbian, aro gay, aro bisexual, aro ace, aro pansexual, aro omnisexual, aro heterosexual, aro polysexual...
This does not mean that allosexual aromantics are sex obsessed or sex addicts!
They can be but being aromantic doesn't equal sex addict.
Aromantic people can be:
- romance repulsed
-romance neutral
-romance favorable
And to finish it I would to remind everyone that:
Arospec ppl are part of the lgbtqiAp+ community!!!