Actually Aro - Tumblr Posts
“you’re going to make someone very happy one day”
but that’s always how it goes, isn’t it? its seems as though my destiny is to make others happy. but what about me? why can’t i make myself happy for once?
please, let's deromanticize kissing!
can we deromanticize kissing or are we still too deep in amatonormativity for that conversation :/ ?
aro culture is supporting and making space for each other's experiences
I submitted a lot of Characters I’m so excited!!!
Also…NOMINATE ASTERIX!!
hi! this will be yet another tournament, similar to @nonbiney-swag-competition, @weirdgirlshowdown, @bestsapphicship, @aroalloarena, @gaygirlscompetition, @transfemswagbracket, @autismswagsummit, etc, to determine which character has the most aromantic swag!!
here is the nomination form!
and here are a few ground rules:
no real people, only characters
no harry potter
i'll only include a maximum of 2 characters from any single piece of media in the bracket, so that it doesn't end up overloaded with one show/game/etc
feel free to retake the form to submit multiple characters, but don't nominate the same character multiple times
starting brackets will be randomized!
(for more info about the mod of this tournament, check out @aster-is-confused)
I submitted a lot of Characters I’m so excited!!!
Also…NOMINATE ASTERIX!!
hi! this will be yet another tournament, similar to @nonbiney-swag-competition, @weirdgirlshowdown, @bestsapphicship, @aroalloarena, @gaygirlscompetition, @transfemswagbracket, @autismswagsummit, etc, to determine which character has the most aromantic swag!!
here is the nomination form!
and here are a few ground rules:
no real people, only characters
no harry potter
i'll only include a maximum of 2 characters from any single piece of media in the bracket, so that it doesn't end up overloaded with one show/game/etc
feel free to retake the form to submit multiple characters, but don't nominate the same character multiple times
starting brackets will be randomized!
(for more info about the mod of this tournament, check out @aster-is-confused)
Happy Valentine's day if you're on the aro/ace spectrum, platonic love is just as valid and amazing as romantic love!!! 💕
I think that has to do more with privacy and personal informations, tbh. If someone told another person about a secret I don't feel ready to share, I'd feel upset too.
greyromantic culture is when your sister tells you that she thinks your friend has a crush on you, so later you go up to your friend and say "my sister told me that she thinks you have a crush on me" and not seeing why anyone would have a problem with that
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I unironically imagine/make a platonic glmv out of remember the time by Michael Jackson in my head w/ two of my ocs- =D
aro culture is being obsessed with love songs but twisting their meaning in your head to make them platonic
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It's basically aesthetic attraction with silly fights of “they're my spouse, y'all just side hoes” jokes.
aro culture is being super confused by the concept of celebrity crushes
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Real, because, how do I explain that Janet Jackson is the fjdjrvdht FINEST WOMAN I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE- but I wouldn't actually marry her or sumth-
I mean, at least I had a reasonable excuse with Midari Ikishima back in 2021, because firstly: I was 13 and she's 18 years old, secondly, she was a literal psycho who could murder me.
Also, how the fuck did she became my first fictional crush, WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME??😭
oriented aroace culture is struggling to explain how much you love women aesthetically without making it weird
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Aro culture is the song Defying Gravity from Wicked. Aro culture is also the line “Yes, I’m alone, but I’m alone and free” from Frozen, and just the entirety of Elsa from Frozen, especially the song “Show Yourself” from Frozen II (You are the one you’ve been waiting for all of your life). (Obligatory f Disney)
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Aroace culture is tryna figure out what my orientation is and thinking I’m probably polyamorous bc I don’t understand why someone wouldn’t be, and telling that to my mom and she goes “I just don’t understand. I could never.” And being like??? Why??
aro culture is being confused about the concept of cheating. oh she was dating someone else at the same time? simple decision; ask her second boyfriend on a date. +1 boyfriend. easy. my friends have stopped asking me for love advice
it's about honesty, trust, and boundaries. largely, most folks assume that when you agree to date, you are agreeing to a social contract in which you date one individual only at a time. It's a boundary.
And then if they don't tell you about another person, how are you supposed to trust them in an intimate relationship where the future expectation often involves marriage (legally, this often means joint finances, joint housing, joint bills, etc etc etc) and possibly children. Those are huge commitments to make with someone who isn't honest about their boundaries with you on a level where it's pretty obvious you're expected, in most major cultures, to disclose if you're looking into the idea even of polyamory.
Broadly, though, all relationship advice boils down to the same things: communicate or break up. If you cannot communicate, you cannot sustain a healthy relationship. If you cannot communicate, you cannot set healthy boundaries, you cannot make important decisions, and frankly, both you and the other individual(s) suffer for it. This usually means: "I feel xyz when you abc", both for positive and negative experiences. If you want more of it, say that - if you want less, say that. If this didn't change the behavior, you might need to move to setting up boundaries. These need to be actionable on your end and you must follow through, or you are not creating a boundary. A boundary is not "Stop doing this." A boundary is "If you continue to do this, I will respond like this." Ie, "If you spend a large amount of our money without first discussing with me, I will move to a separate financial account and you will not have access to it. I cannot be held responsible for your actions." And in turn - if you're asked to change your behaviors, you can get a lot further by communicating what you're doing.
Just some thoughts, basically.
…sooo can u be, like, cupioromantic and alloplatonic at the same time
But as someone who feels this way, SAME!!!!
WE ARE NOT BETTER. WE ARE FORCING OURSELVES TO CONFORM TO SOCIETY. WE’RE JUST VERY PASSIONATE ABT OUR FRIENDS
Also as an aromantic who’s societally acceptable bc of my life dreams, it feels like my existence cheapens ppl who are aromantic but r apl n their experiences bc we use the same labels??? Just some posts by apl’s getting to me ig
aroace alloplatonic culture is trying really really hard to not give people the wrong idea about all aro people while coming out.
(very frustrating because I don't want people to think I'm 'better' than apl or allosexual aros, or that aro and ace are the same thing, but also I want to get across what my identity specifically is.)
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I have a lot of love for aro ppl tonight
lmao i remember when i was like about 10-11 years old i cut out paper hearts and gave them to all my classmates on valentine...
This was obviously before I knew I was aromantic but I was just thought it was complete bullsh!t and didn't want anyone to feel bad, so I just did that I guess.
But turns out only my teacher appreciated it so that was kinda sad...
aro culture is sending your best friend a valentine's gift to spite the amatonormativity
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Y'ALL HAPPY AROSPEC AWARENESS WEEK!
Being on the aromantic spectrum means that you experience little to no romantic attraction.
The term aromantic can be used as an umbrella term for all arospec identities:
Aromantic
Greyromantic
Demiromantic
Frayromantic
Aroflux
Arospike
Lithromantic
Quoiromantic
Cupioromantic
And many more...
For more informantion about these identities:
https://lgbta.wikia.org/wiki/Aromantic_Spectrum
Arospec people can still be in a romantic relationship or in a queerplatonic relationship or in a sexual relationship or honestly whatever sort of relationship they choose to be in, all of these can be with 1 or multiple partners but they can also do none of those things.
A common misconception is that aromantic people also "have" to be asexual, this is not true. Being aromantic has nothing to do with your sexual orientation so arospec people can still basically be any sexuality.
For example: aro lesbian, aro gay, aro bisexual, aro ace, aro pansexual, aro omnisexual, aro heterosexual, aro polysexual...
This does not mean that allosexual aromantics are sex obsessed or sex addicts!
They can be but being aromantic doesn't equal sex addict.
Aromantic people can be:
- romance repulsed
-romance neutral
-romance favorable
And to finish it I would to remind everyone that:
Arospec ppl are part of the lgbtqiAp+ community!!!
Do you have any tips on how to be more supportive/inclusive of loveless aros?
Drop completely the concept that love is something that makes us human, that it’s something we need, that it’s something everyone wants.
Be very careful of thinking aros need to be more loving or love their friends more or anything like that to “make up for their aro-ness”. A. there’s nothing to make up for because aros aren’t lacking in anything, but also B. that just isn’t every aro person’s experience. Some aros do invest a lot in their friends, but not all. And they don’t have to. Not all aros are close to other people. These aros need to be remembered too.
Be aware that aro or not, some people have a hard time connecting to other people or even feeling love at all. And there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s especially common for neurodivergent people to sometimes have trouble connecting to other people or feeling emotions the way neurotypical people do. Sometimes people who are dealing with trauma also have trouble connecting with, or don’t feel like they love, other people.
On that note, be wary of the concept that there’s any kind of morality to how someone feels love. Morality comes from how we treat people and how we act, internal feelings we have no control over isn’t someone’s morality.
I haven’t seen this in a long time but it used to be common for ace stuff, especially outreach stuff to say ‘but we can still love’ to appeal to heteronormative sensibilities. This hurt all aros, but especially loveless aros. Definitely do not do that and push back against it when you see it.
So I’m not a loveless aro myself, and it’s possible there are more things that could be done to be inclusive that I either haven’t thought of or am not doing. I definitely encourage you to look up what loveless aros say on the subject as well and see if there’s other things you can adopt.
And just a note if anyone wants to know what loveless aro means, the lgbta wiki has an entry on it.
All the best, Anon!