Actually Aromantic - Tumblr Posts

please, let's deromanticize kissing!

can we deromanticize kissing or are we still too deep in amatonormativity for that conversation :/ ?

You say you accept aromanticism but do you only accept it as long as it fits your expectations? Do you only accept it as long as I keep my options open, as long as I don’t 100% settle on this label, as long as I allow you a small amount of hope that one day I’ll tell you I’ve changed, I’ve seen the light, I’ve found the One?

You say you accept aromanticism, but is your acceptance conditional on my redemption through platonic love? Do I have to prove to you that I am likable, that I am lovable, that I am human? Do I have to be touch starved, do I have to be lonely, do I have to feel like I am missing out?

You say you accept aromanticism, but do you believe me when I speak about dehumanization, about my anger at being pitied? Do you put yourself in my shoes and imagine the effort it takes to shape a future that looks like most people's worst fear? Do you understand that my life is not sad for not following your rigid guideline to happiness?

You say you accept aromanticism, but do you accept the changes I demand of society? Do you accept that relationship hierarchies are not inherent but learned? Do you accept that community is more meaningful in fighting the loneliness epidemic than finding the One? Do you notice that society is predisposed to benefit couples over singles? Do you realize that this is wrong?

If you say you accept aromanticism but only do so as long as I am quiet about it, as long as I make no demands, offer no criticism, draw no attention to myself, then I do not care for your acceptance because your acceptance isn't real.

The struggles real, am I right?

Being polyamorous while also being aroace has been the most confusing shit of my life. I just wanna vibe in a polycule and I want to feel cared for. I feel cared for my friends at the moment, so I’m okay now, but it’d be nice in the future, cause I don’t wanna live alone. I really shoulda known I was aro though....like the signs were so obvious...and ace even more obvious. I am glad though that I basically embody chaos at this point.

It’s funny being somewhat extroverted and being aroace. I love it! I feel like a double agent.

Also the line between romance and friendship is so convoluted at this point that I really don’t see the difference. People kiss their friends. They make out with their friends. I mean people even fuck their friends. So where is the line. I’d say it depends on a) your boundaries, b) how you feel, and c) and where you’re at right now. Basically, all of it is subjective and I can’t tell when people are in relationships, so I always assume that they are friends cause I can’t tell. 

I know it isn’t the best to be “pal paling” people, but I wouldn’t deem it a bad thing. There’s barely any aro-spec representation. Everyone has a story to tell, and perhaps even through little things, you should share your story.

On a side note, I’m literally creating a story because I decided to create my own representation. First it was for gender, now it’s for ma sexuality and romantic orientation.

You know what’s better than romance and sex. Food. Garlic bread and cake coming my way. 

It funny how I was able to accept that I was ace, granted I was in denial about it for some time. Then I realized I was aro and was like...”NONONO...I know I have no desire to date anyone, but NONONONONONONOnonono....I haven’t dated anyone...I don’t know what a crush feels like, let alone attraction!!! I’ve never had any fantasies!!! Wait-...people fantasize ABOUT ONE ANOTHER?!! I wouldn’t date any stranger or my friends!!!” and then I had the most funny thought at a certain point (before I knew the term aromantic) and it was, “Well maybe if I move countries I’ll be able to fall in love!!!!”, and meanwhile when romance/sex would show up in media I’d be like “Where is the plot?! Why did we lose the plot?! People actually want this?! WAIT-?! Do people act like this?!”. I also thought people were just deadass lying when they said they experienced crushes in kindergarten, which they probably weren’t lying. I will say though I do love food. I mean pesto is an absolute god. Chocolate is amazing (though if don’t like chocolate that’s cool too, same with any other food). But bread...oh my god! I love naan, rolls, and most breads.

A rant about being aromantic as well as asexual while being a teen

It sucks dude. I feel behind and a part of me doesn’t care, but another part of me is going, “WHY ME?!”. And some of it, at least for me, is in part due to trauma, and also lack of attraction. Sometimes I just wish I could feel something, you know. I also don’t want to be in a qpr with anyone, but I just want friends. The problem is due to trust issues I’m scared to hug them and stuff, so that causes me to get a bit touch starved, even though I could just ask. Everything is just scary. I do love my friends in the most platonic way and that’s it. They are truly wonderful people, but I wish I could...well fit in more sometimes. I know that it’s sappy and honestly not the best outlook to want to fit in, but I just wonder what it feels like to fit in, or perhaps everyone is just faking it regardless. I’m a bit sad and scared my friends will leave me for their partner(s), though I don’t think they would, as one of them is dating some peeps and they’re really chill and equally care and I guess I’m scared that I’m just not loved by my friends. I think they do love me and I have this tendency to give to much and never relax because I’m just a people pleaser. So overall, I’m just a lil’ lonely and sad and I wanted to rant on here because people seem pretty chill.

I love how I started out writing a comic book, while thinking I must be cis and pan, and now that I’m nearing the end of it, I’m trans, non-binary, and aroace. Granted, before that I thought I was cishet, and kinda just denying way too many fucking things about myself. Upon admitting them through storytelling, I somehow feel much much gayer. This is probably because I feel more comfortable in my skin now. Thank you for my TEDTalk.

short story? (fictional..I guess)

Tuesday, 1:45 pm

Today was a windy day on the East bay. My feet are crunching the blank ground beneath my feet. I’m wearing a jacket but it’s so cold! The wool socks I’m wearing are a bit wet, and that was when I remembered I had hot chocolate at home. As I was on my way home, I see these to people close together. What are they doing? Why are they kissing? Aren’t they a bit close? Are they friends? I don’t know what to think.

I spot someone else across the street, and I could sense their jealousy of the close two. Then I heard the the two say, “I love you, my sweet sunshine!”, at the same time, but it wasn’t exact.

They’re in love. Love! What utter bullshit. 

I hurried along the snow, almost frustrated. Okay, not almost, I was frustrated. I AM FRUSTRATED! Why am I so frustrated?! Oh I’m home. Great.

My stiff discolored hands reach for the doorknob. It’s so cold and metallic. As I open the oak doors to my home, I close it just as quickly. 

SIGH

My mind is carrying a weight that I don’t to be true. I can’t fall in love. Well, at least, I don’t think so. Oh how I wish I could feel those wonderful feelings.

I enter my disheveled room, not prepared for anything, so I collapse onto my bed in all my warm clothes. 

Wednesday, 3 am

I’m hungry. My eyes are a bit blurry, so I rub them, so I can see once again. It’s 3 AM!! My stomach hurts, so I go to the kitchen, and look at my fridge.

It’s empty. Great! Just great.

I spot a remote to left and pick it to turn on my tv, then I hear my ringer go off. It’s my best friend, Jean. Well, I have a few best friends, and I love them so much. It’s not romantic...is there a word for that? ...I mean there can’t be...can there?

I pick up my phone and this is how the conversation goes:

Me: Fitz?! Isn’t it a bit late?

Fitz: lol Jet lol, why r u up at this time?

Me: I...I couldn’t sleep. 

Fitz: lol same.

Me: Fitz, I need help? 

Fitz: okay bestie! what u need help with?

Me: Well...I think I’m broken?!

Fitz: WOAH THERE!!! Who are you and what did you do to my bestie?!

Me: pfft...OH GOD it’s 4 am already!!!

Fitz: 9 pm over here baBY!

Me: I can’t fall in love...is that bad?

Fitz: Bro...why’d u thing it was wrong?

Me: because I’ve been told that I’ll fall in love with somebody, but it is yet to happen.

Fitz: u could be...aromantic? #noromo

Me: I’ve gotta feel a little attraction...right?

Fitz: Mate, calm ya tits, and look the damn thing up!

Me: okay okay...I WILL :{

.....

...

Fitz: Good night Jet, you’re an amazing friend :O

Me: Thanks, gn

Fitz: ‘night

12 hours later

OH shit...I fell asleep with the tv on! And yesterday...oh GOD!!! I miss Fitz. They were such a good friend...and I guess I’ll take their advice...not that I want to. I open up my computer and start typing in “Signs I might be aromantic?” and “What does it mean to be aromantic?”, and lastly “Am I aro?”. I’ve fallen down a rabbit hole, but OOO!

Th-that’s me...THAT’S ME!! Fitz was right...I am aromantic.... Wait there’s other like me. THere’s a whole spectrum?! ARE YOU SHITTING ME?!! WHY aren’t we taught this earlier?! If only I found out sooner...then everything would have hurt less. Well, it’s not like I can change much, so I guess I’m glad I came to this strange conclusion?

So yeah yesterday was cold, but now I feel a bit warmer knowing a bit more about myself. So HAH! Take that world! I’m gonna soar beyond and create my own path because I don’t need to fall in love to be human. Why is it shown so much though? The media is weird. Okay....a lot of things are weird. 

Happy Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week Everyone!

Learn more about aromanticism and upcoming community events on the ASAW website and the AUREA ASAW page.

[Image description: A light green graphic decorated with lime green six-point stars. The upper left-hand corner has clip art of a tan hand holding an aromantic pride flag. In the lower right-hand corner, there is a vertical aromantic flag. At the bottom of the graphic are the AUREA and ASAW website logos. In the center, there is text that reads "Feb 20th -26th, Happy Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week! We are proud to promote the acceptance and inclusion of aromantic identities! Learn more about ASAW at arospecweek.org]

aro culture is supporting and making space for each other's experiences

also the whole thing of ppl saying they don't wanna erase asexuals but then turning around and being fine with erasing allosexual aromantics, u guys being fine w/ "sex" being removed from the pride flag is like me saying that as some1 who is alloaro im fine w/ "love" being removed from the pride flag bc when most ppl say that now they only mean romantic love w/out any regard as 2 how that would erase the experiences of other queer ppl who r not me but while being ok w/ "sex" being removed is seen as a valid take if i thought "love" should b removed from the pride flag i would b flayed alive, y'all just care more abt looking acceptable 2 non queer ppl than u care abt the actual community

Is it wrong that I’m cool with “sex” being removed from the pride flag? They should bring back “magic” though.

Personally I think you’re wrong and an idiot but that’s just my opinion.

fuck im so sick of every1 assuming that being aro also means ur ace

I submitted a lot of Characters I’m so excited!!!

Also…NOMINATE ASTERIX!!

hi! this will be yet another tournament, similar to @nonbiney-swag-competition, @weirdgirlshowdown, @bestsapphicship, @aroalloarena, @gaygirlscompetition, @transfemswagbracket, @autismswagsummit, etc, to determine which character has the most aromantic swag!!

here is the nomination form!

and here are a few ground rules:

no real people, only characters

no harry potter

i'll only include a maximum of 2 characters from any single piece of media in the bracket, so that it doesn't end up overloaded with one show/game/etc

feel free to retake the form to submit multiple characters, but don't nominate the same character multiple times

starting brackets will be randomized!

(for more info about the mod of this tournament, check out @aster-is-confused)

I submitted a lot of Characters I’m so excited!!!

Also…NOMINATE ASTERIX!!

hi! this will be yet another tournament, similar to @nonbiney-swag-competition, @weirdgirlshowdown, @bestsapphicship, @aroalloarena, @gaygirlscompetition, @transfemswagbracket, @autismswagsummit, etc, to determine which character has the most aromantic swag!!

here is the nomination form!

and here are a few ground rules:

no real people, only characters

no harry potter

i'll only include a maximum of 2 characters from any single piece of media in the bracket, so that it doesn't end up overloaded with one show/game/etc

feel free to retake the form to submit multiple characters, but don't nominate the same character multiple times

starting brackets will be randomized!

(for more info about the mod of this tournament, check out @aster-is-confused)

Shoutout to the aromantics who want partners

Shoutout to the aromantics who don’t want partners

Shoutout to the aromantics who are also asexual (aroaces/ aromantic asexuals)

Shoutout to the aromantics who are also allosexual (alloaros/ aromantic allosexuals)

Shoutout to nonSAM aromantics

Shoutout to aromantic people of all kinds

I don't know what to call it, ignorance or accidental arophobia, but there's something really discomforting about my friends making jokes about how I "hate dating."

First of all, that's equating aromanticism to romance repulsion, which isn't true for a lot of us. It makes the joke that aromantic = anti romance which,, doesn't work.

Second, it's not something I've ever said. I have told people that I'm aromantic and theyve taken that to mean I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life.

I can't speak for all aros and I definetely don't blame my friends for not knowing, but it makes me uncomfortable. Aromanticism is really complex and can't be reduced to just "not dating."

I told my friend that I like the idea of platonic dating and they replied "excuse me, I'm right here! lol." Which. Is not what I meant by platonic dating. I would still be attracted to or love my partner, just not romantically, and a part of me feels like this is in the same web as "you're a lesbian? Do you like me? Lmao!"

So yeah I love being a queerplatonic aromantic

I have been consuming ship fics for 6 years now and I've only JUST realized that the reason I dont like gen fics is because I'm aro. Gen fics are just my life. give me exiting unrealistic fantasy like people in love yk

I think that has to do more with privacy and personal informations, tbh. If someone told another person about a secret I don't feel ready to share, I'd feel upset too.

greyromantic culture is when your sister tells you that she thinks your friend has a crush on you, so later you go up to your friend and say "my sister told me that she thinks you have a crush on me" and not seeing why anyone would have a problem with that

.

I unironically imagine/make a platonic glmv out of remember the time by Michael Jackson in my head w/ two of my ocs- =D

aro culture is being obsessed with love songs but twisting their meaning in your head to make them platonic

.