I Need To Be Perfect - Tumblr Posts

I know I am learning

I know I am not supposed to know it

I know I have time to learn

But....

I am a Virgo

I am INTP

I need to be good at it before I even start it

I have to be perfect in it

I have to know it

Am I delusion for acting like the skinniest bitch ever after taking 5 laxatives and shitting my brains out?

My brother asked me why I was drinking coke. Which is so insulting because it was actually DIET Coke. Call me mentally ill, but that made me feel weirdly invalidated…

Maybe it’s the disorder talking but fasting kinda makes me feels euphoric…I like the feeling of being not quite “all there”.

I know this sounds insane, but I hate when other people say they’re not hungry. Stop it! That's my thing!

It’s me and my diet coke against the world! Starving myself may not be the most effective coping mechanism but it’s the best I can do

IRL meanspo when my brother said to me “maybe if you weren’t so fat you could breathe better” after I sighed because he (a 26 year old man living at home) was throwing a tantrum.

I’m contemplating downing all my pills and taking a nap face down in my bathtub!

My roommate canceled on me a week before school starts. My first reaction was “maybe if I were skinnier…”

Idk how I connected those dots!

I hate meeting new people when I’ve gained weight. I feel like it makes a bad impression

Guess who got their grubby hands on some more Cherry Coke Zero? I honestly treat diet sodas like anti-depressants.

Oh to be a “starves when they’re sad” person instead of a “binges when they’re sad” person because I’m sad all the time.

This is crazy! I feel like I started posting out of nowhere even though I've had a blog since I was 14.

So, I think I should finally introduce myself.

Thank you for reading my ramblings!

Genuinely kind of tweaking because I'm taking a nutrition course this semester. I have no excuse not to lock in on this disorder.

why do laxatives make you feel like your insides are tearing apart? I just wanted to shit...I did NOT sign up for a heart attack!

it’s another type of competition when you suspect your sibling also has an eating disorder

movies about eating disorders are like baby sensory videos for me

I've never seriously considered doing drugs BUT sometimes I find myself thinking about how quickly I would get to my ugw if I just...

shout out pickles, for being the safe food that keeps me from killing myself

Got an assignment for my nutrition class to track what I eat for 3 days…this is a dream and a nightmare for me

saw an impossibly thin girl who was also tall, had longer hair, and prettier curls than I did

about to starting gnawing at my desk out of jealousy