This Is How It Ends - Tumblr Posts

Monday 1735

I finally realized it today, you are never going to leave her.

No matter how much I love you. No matter who I walk away from.

You are never, ever going to be mine.

Road Trippin'

I sleep beside him at the ocean side, we match well in the dark at least, even if it's a struggle by daylight. He is chameleon, and difficult to read, but oh so gentle when he touches my hip or strokes my hair.

I struggle to let go of work my kids the bills, I struggle to simply be and be in the moment with this stranger who already knows the flaws of my body.

I think quite likely I will never hear from him again once this trip has ended, I think it is a job interview that I am failing and I do not know quite what to say, when he watches from hooded eyes, and mocks so subtle that most miss it.

I come home. My legs are tired. My soul is grateful. My sex is satisfied.

And you have blocked my incoming messages, here we are we could not salvage it, you have decided there is nothing worth fighting for.

I will always be your friend, even if you are not mine.

No Rules

I try with everything I have to remain passionless against the words falling from your mouth, poison deadly belladonna words, words from a language we both speak, words that are safer somehow in their clinical distance.

And then I am holding you, our fingers interlaced, your lips on my neck, and we are human, merely mortals seeking comfort in the only way we know, we touch, we touch, we touch, because if we touch enough, somehow it will all be ok.

I prayed for you tonight. I don't know if my prayers mean much these days, but I'll grasp at anything.

I have to believe everything will be ok.