Topher Grace - Tumblr Posts

Hyde, watching Jackie: Wow, that girl is so annoying.

Hyde: I can't believe I'm going to sleep with her.

Eric: You don't have to...

Hyde: No, I'm gonna.

Eric, after coming back from Africa: I've been through hell.

Jackie: Big deal, I worked at the Cheese Palace at the mall for a whole year. So not only have I been through hell, I was assistant manager there.

Hyde: Oh my God, Forman! What’s that hideous thing growing out of your neck?

Eric: Where? Where?

Hyde: Ah, never mind. It’s just your head.

Eric: I can't believe Red grounded me for a whole week just because I was a few minutes late.

Hyde: Well, you deserved it. I mean, getting everyone's hopes up like that and then just showing up again.

Eric: So... I heard they broke up.

Donna: Yeah, she's listening to Taylor Swift and crying in my room. How's he doing?

Eric: Blasting Bruno Mars non-stop.

Donna: Bruno Mars?

Eric: It will rain.

Donna: This is bad.

Eric: Yeah... five bucks says it'll take ten minutes until one of them caves. And it'll be Jackie.

Donna: No, it'll take less than ten minutes and it'll be Hyde.

Eric: Deal.

[...]

*five minutes later*

Hyde: Where's Jackie?

Donna: In my room.

Hyde: Cool.

Eric:

Donna: Pay up, loser.

Eric, giving her the money: How?

Donna: She was listening to Mr. Perfectly Fine and those were angry tears...

Hyde: Before you guys go, can I just ask you a question?

Eric and Donna: Yeah.

Hyde: When a girl breaks up with her boyfriend, what is an appropriate amount of time to wait before you make a move?

Donna: Oh, I'd say about a month.

Eric: Really? I'd say three to four.

Kelso: Half hour.

Hyde: Cool.

[...]

*30 minutes later*

Hyde, talking to Jackie: Hey, you wanna go out sometime?

Jackie: Sure.

Eric: Why's there pink glitter all over your mouth?

Hyde: It's a long a story and it's none of your damn business.

[Jackie enters the basement, wearing pink glitter lip gloss]

Jackie: Hey guys.

Hyde:

Eric: A long story, huh?

Hyde: Shut up, Forman.

Kelso: I don't get it.

that '70s show headcanons

(post inspired by a comment @kim1918 left on my ask game so, if i make you cry, it's her fault hahahaha 💖)

note: in this house, we ignore the season that shall remain forgotten ;)

warning: +18 suggestive content.

jackie:

she grew up in a household full of hispanic staff so, when she was younger, she couldn't tell the difference between english and spanish. the gang found out she can speak spanish fluently when she offered to help them with their homework;

she started taking ballet classes when she was three years old, but stopped when she got into the cheer squad. her parents never went to a recital, not even when she played the lead in swan lake;

when she was too old for a nanny and her mother wanted someone else to take care of her, she signed jackie up for swimming lessons;

she and hyde went to watch risky business in the 80s and, when they came home, she performed tom cruise's iconic dance for him and you know what happened afterwards 😈;

she loves high fashion. her closet is filled with versace, gucci, chanel, givenchy, prada. god bless her credit card;

fez broke her louboutin heels once and she actually broke his nose. he had bruises for weeks;

she bought a little sexy bride outfit inspired by madonna's like a virgin music video and surprised hyde with it. that same night he proposed to her.

hyde:

when the store was doing well, he decided to buy a harley. which led to jackie trying to convince him to let her ride the bike;

Jackie: If you want me to ride other things of yours, you'll let me ride the bike.

Hyde: That's a good point, but do you even know how to ride a motorcycle?

Jackie: No, but I can learn.

Hyde: Not on my Harley, you can't.

Jackie: Steven!

Hyde: Okay, hear me out. You are the only one I'm taking for a ride with me...

Jackie, smiling: Okay, that's good enough for me.

Hyde, smirking: Now, I have some free time. Why don't I let you ride those other things of mine you were talking about?

the real reason why he wouldn't let her ride the harley is because he was worried she might get hurt;

he's always complaining about the amount of money jackie spends on clothes and cosmetics. but he never complains when he sees a victoria's secret shopping bag 😈;

once, when jackie was really sad, he took her to watch west side story. and he only knew the songs because it was her favorite musical and he was trying to cheer her up. definitely not because he also liked;

he cried when john bonham died and jackie held him until he fell asleep;

even after he moved out of the basement, mrs. forman always made sure to keep his room clean and ready, in case he and jackie got in a fight (they did, but he couldn't sleep without her);

he found the car that runs on water, but no one believed him (except for jackie).

modern day!headcanons:

they are all (somehow) famous on tiktok;

eric (@/ericskywalker) produces content about nerdy stuff and cosplays;

donna (@/hotandsmartdonna) talks about feminism and politics;

kelso's content (@/punkd) is all about pranks;

fez (@/isaidgoodday) talks about being a foreigner in the US, but in a funny way;

jackie (@/tinydancer) makes content about fashion and make-up. her first video to go viral was her wap dance and her most viewed is the one where she's changing a tire in heels;

and while hyde does not make content for tiktok, he went viral once. when he and jackie were broken up, and he and his friends were getting drunk, kelso filmed him. that's what happened:

Hyde, slurring because he's drunk out of his mind: Why did she broke up with me? Just 'cause I don't want to get married now, does not mean I don't ever want to... Are you recording me, Kelso?

Kelso: Uh...

Hyde: Gimme this stupid phone... [takes the phone] Jackie, listen to me... I wanna marry you, I wanna be Mrs. Jackie Hyde! Take me back, Doll!

the only reason why he didn't kill kelso was because it worked.

Jackie: You idiot!

Eric: I'm sure you're right, but why?

Red: You know something? This is all your fault.

Eric: What is that, like the theme of this family? “When in doubt, blame Eric.”

Eric: You're enjoying this, aren't you?

Jackie: Having fun at your expense? Yes. Very much.

Donna: Let's go to bed, Eric. I'm tired.

Eric: Okay, my lady.

Hyde: You're so whipped...

*Jackie appears, raising her eyebrow at him*

Hyde: On my way, Doll. Gotta keep my baby warm.

*part 1 here*

Hyde, still drunk: Why is he even here?

Jackie's boyfriend: You got a problem with me, man?

Jackie: Oh God...

Hyde, slurring: Yes, I do. I should be getting back together with my chick, but you're ruining my plans, dumbass.

Jackie, muttering to herself: What did I do to deserve this? I just wanted to have dinner.

Jackie's boyfriend: You're so full of shit.

Jackie: I knew I should've ordered a pizza. [looks at her friends and the Formans] You're just gonna sit there and watch?

Fez: It is more entertaining this way.

*now Hyde and Jackie's boyfriend are fighting*

Jackie's boyfriend: Ow, my eye!

Kelso: Hey, that's my line, man!

Hyde, after getting punched in the face: I'm too drunk for this.

Jackie: GET OFF MY BOYFRIEND!

Everybody:

Eric: Just to be clear, which one are you referring to?

Kelso: I have nothing to do with this.

Jackie: Uh... the one that's actually my boyfriend? [grabs the bottle of tequila and leaves the room] Excuse me, I need a drink.

Donna: Man, I missed all this drama!

Jackie: I think we should get a divorce.

Hyde: What are you doing?

Jackie: Just practicing.

Hyde, confused: Why are you planning our hypothetical divorce?

Jackie: I don't know, I'm 20. I think I'm having a... quarter life crisis.

Hyde: We aren't even married yet.

Jackie: Hypothetically divorce me.

Hyde: Okay, then I'm hypothetically taking half of your assets.

Jackie: Well, you didn't sign the hypothetical prenup... is it? It's called a prenup, right?

Eric: Yeah, it's a prenup, and you did hypothetically sign one so...

Jackie: What are you doing here?

Eric: I'm his hypothetical lawyer in this divorce case.

Jackie: Well, then I'm taking the hypothetical kids so– right? We can get those, right?

Donna: Yes, we can definitely get the hypothetical kids, don't worry about it.

Hyde: And what the fuck is this hypothetical nerd doing here?

Jackie: This is my hypothetical lawyer and we've been hypothetically sleeping with each other so...

Hyde: How could you hypothetically– How could you hypothetically do this to me?

Jackie: Because you hypothetically are an alcoholic, so.

Donna: Maybe you should... gossip less.

Jackie: I don't gossip.

Hyde and Eric, laughing: Yeah, right...

Jackie: Maybe sometimes I find out things or I hear something, and I pass that information on, you know, kind of like a public service. Doesn't mean I'm a gossip.

Donna: Hmm... this cake is amazing!

Hyde: Oh my god, get a room.

Donna: I would get a room with this cake, I think I can show this cake a good time.

Jackie: If you had to what would you give up, food or sex?

Donna: Sex.

Eric: Seriously, answer faster.

Donna: Oh, I'm sorry honey, when I said sex I wasn't thinking about sex with you.

Eric: ...It's like a giant hug.

*Red and Kitty are having problems*

Hyde: You two just need to bone.

Eric: *panic*

Red: What did you say?

Eric, whispering: Don't say it again.

Hyde: I said you two need to bone.

Red: How. Dare. You. Steven J. Hyde. I PUT A ROOF OVER YOUR HEAD!

*5 minutes later*

Red: BONE?!

*10 minutes later*

Red: What happens in my bedroom, Steven, is none of your business.

*21 minutes later*

Red: BONE?!

*40 minutes later*

Red: Don't ever speak to me like that again. [leaves the room]

Eric: Why would you do that?

Hyde: Now he knows, problem solved. You're welcome.

Eric, doing crosswords: What's a six-letter word for incredible?

Jackie: Oh, that's easy... Jackie.

Hyde, watching Jackie: She looks just like my first wife.

Eric: Uh... you were never married.

Hyde: That's 'cause she's gonna be my first wife.

Eric: I'd catch a granade for you.

Donna: Aw, thank you...

Hyde: I'd throw a granade at Forman for you, babe.

Jackie: That's so hot... please do.