Unrequited Feelings - Tumblr Posts - Page 2

Today is the last day I'm allowing myself to cry about you.

I wish I hadn't told my mom about you.

🫠🫠🫠

I don't hate you.

I'm angry, I'm sad, and I feel betrayed. But I don't wish you any harm.

I wish for your healing.

Seeing you used to make me feel warm.

But today, the thought of seeing you sent me into a dysregulated panic. I trembled uncontrollably and felt like I was going to pass out or throw up.

I don't feel safe around you anymore.

Just a Look

I saw you on Monday, and you saw me, too. This time, I was brave enough to look at you directly. I glanced at you first, hoping that you didn't see me looking. I'm not sure if you did.

I was secretly (not-so-secretly) hoping you were watching me that day, despite the fact that the thought of you watching me stopped my breathing.

As I walked to the exit, it felt like time slowed down. I was brave! I was brave, and I looked at you. And, to my surprise, you looked back. Maybe it was for a few seconds. Maybe it was a split second--I'm not sure. But I didn't expect it, so after a moment I turned away and apparently tried to play it cool by flipping my hair. I didn't even think, it just happened. I felt shy.

I feel like a chump admitting this, but that momentary eye-contact made my day. I feel like even more of a chump also admitting that I hope one day you'll talk to me again.

Overthinking the idea of "unrequited love".

I'm still not over my crush. 😭

My late night thoughts

Have always been you.

Even though you do not care or love me,

My late night thoughts

Have always been you.

awm

It ended right there.

Echoes of the past

_3_

To see you randomly on a bus,

Or riding a bike, causing a fuss,

With teasing eyes and a crazy race,

Now you're gone, I miss that face;

Suddenly you disappeared from sight,

Now all the paths feel empty, no light.

~m.

Echoes of the past

_4_

I never had people to think about,

Only memories, both sweet and stout,

Of past forgotten crushes and love unreturned,

Not an ex to you, yet my heart still burned;

Bitter sweet moments in my mind reside,

You'll always be there, though not by my side.

~m.

Wondering if I'll cross his mind if I think about him enough

Poem that I made in an Activity:

"I thought it was admiration that I felt

Yet in my heart, deeper longing dwelt

A truth so tender, so painfully true"

"It was until high school, I realized it

My quiet loved, in shadows it sits

I chose to love at a distance, afraid to confide

For I'd fear you'd turn away, our friendship denied"

"This bond we cherished, the risk I couldn't take

I thought you were straight and it might break

So in silent adoration, I keep my hearts plea

Loving you quietly, while letting you be free"

"Yet love is a powerful force

That I couldn't keep behind closed doors

This will be our last year together

I couldn't help but take the leap

So here I am to weap

My first love was you, a girl who was near

You were my first love, my adoration and my fear

But I couldn't help but hold you so dear..."

My favorite relationship dynamic

I love them sm

anime 👓⛑️ things

Idiots they are

I'm just thinking about like Dean after finding out about people writing wincest fanfiction and obviously he acted grossed out because that's how you're supposed to act to finding out that people write porn about you and your brother, but also maybe he stumbles upon a fic someone wrote of Sam harbouring feelings for Dean the whole time and he secretly loves it.

He reads the full 50k+ word fanfiction full of angst and yearning and realizes how badly he wants it to be true. How much he wants Sam to have feelings for him, to have had feelings for him his whole life, and something in his stomach twists.

There's something wrong with him, he knows it. He wants Sam to be dependent on him, to never truly love anyone the way he loves Dean. He wants Sam to want him the way women in bars want him. He wants Sam to want him the way Lisa wanted him. He wants to be everything to Sam.

He reads the words on the screen and reflects it to real life. When Sam looked at Jess the first time, she reminded him of Dean. When Sam kissed her for the first time, he thought of Dean. When Sam fucked her for the first time, he had to bite his tongue to prevent from calling out for Dean.

When Sam saw Dean for the first time in years and he's panting, pinned to the ground beneath his big brother, he got hard. When Sam rolled over on top of Dean, he had to force himself not to grind on him. When Sam stood in front of him, just inches too close for brothers to stand, he wanted to kiss him. When Jess interrupted them, Sam wanted it even more, to show Jess that he belonged to Dean. He always has and always will, and she could never compete with that.

Dean knows he shouldn't, but as he reads, he believes that it's true. This is really how Sam felt this whole time. He's not the only one fucked up this way. Sam yearned for Dean for years after they got back together and the tension finally crescendoed when Sam found out about the deal Dean made for him. He realized Dean loves him more than life itself, would spend an eternity burning in hell just so he could have one more year with his baby brother.

Sam kissed him rough and angry before it quickly fizzled out into desperation and longing. Dean sat down on the bed, pulling Sam to straddle him, and Sam gently pushed him onto his back. He mumbled Dean's name into his mouth and Dean pushed up onto his elbows to get closer. They held each other tightly as they rut against each other until finally, *finally*, they come together with each others names on their tongue in the others mouth.

Dean- real Dean- didn't realize he's been rubbing his hand over his crotch until he's wet and sticky in his pants. He hears Sam's name tumble quietly from his lips, and suddenly his eyes and cheeks burn with shame. He tears his hand away from himself before he even stopped twitching. Closing the browser as fast as he can, he launches himself out of the chair and into the shower, barely remembering to slam the bathroom door shut behind him.

Dean doesn't cry in the shower, the water just runs down his face. He's not red with shame, the water is just really hot. His legs don't buckle under the weight of this disgusting burden he carries, the water just relaxes him to the point of exhaustion. There's nothing wrong with him, the water is washing it away.

why won’t u let me show u how beautiful we could be?

She drew me a place she’d like for us to have a pique-nique together. A place filled with warmth, a soothing stream and singing birds. A place made of love and coexistence. And all I can think about is how I will have to fake not being a lovesick fool. How I will have to stare lovingly at the nature and not at her.

How could I?