Unrequited Poem - Tumblr Posts

After doing the research I realize that what I was feeling/experiencing is called "unrequited love" and I fucking hate it! I hate it all I feel like my mind is going to explode

Unrequited Love

The bittersweet memories of once upon a time left me without a smile.  Nothing to show the hard work or the endless dreams or maybe all the thoughts of a love so sweet. Though I find myself unhappy because of my unwillingness to let go of the fake memories. Everybody has been there, hoping in despair and trying to find something there.  But nothing one could do can stop the heartbreak and despair setting in and finding nothing in the end. All one can do is try to find peace or maybe even acceptances from the past bittersweet memories. No one warned me about the brutality of unrequited love or how one can not seem to find a way out of the bitterness of this sweet turning sour. While every one expects me to move on and all I can do is look on to the past. I can not seem to find a way out of this loneliness I seem to seep in. But I walk on to try to move on and sometimes it feels like I did. Then the memories starts again and I am back to the end. The end of the delusions and the pain comes back once again. When will I begin to feel a bit free? When will the misery give in to glee? I just stand there and stare, hoping no one sees me there. Maybe then it will finally let go and be the beginning of finally being free from the bittersweet memories. 

and we didn’t talk after that.

“falling in love is an eerie flame / and i'm burning to death.”

fatima aamer bilal, from we didn’t talk after that (28th january 2022).

fatima aamer bilal, from moony moonless sky.

[text id: august is wounded with longing.]

like autumn leaves, we fell apart from one thing that made us grow. darling, i'm still stuck in places we have never been to.

fatima aamer bilal, from parchment’s weeping flesh above the ground.

fatima aamer bilal, from all hunger is, is love.

[text id: my heart knew no name more furiously than yours.

a scripture that burns beneath my tongue.

the mere glimpse of you clogs my lungs as if the butterflies have deemed them their home

but when you leave my sight, i can’t bear the thought of it being forever.

oh, lord, how i am willing to embrace you until all the love in my being seeps into you.

[and i can’t bring my myself to imagine a world with you,

this world is pure agony without you.

this world is my grave.]

these hands, attached to my wrists, with no purpose other than to hold yours— weep.

my palms are heavy with the emptiness of your hands.

it was inevitable.

you could have marched towards me, parading your teeth like hands, tearing all the meaningless flesh apart, turning my ribs inside, and taking a bite out of my heart—

and i would have done nothing, not when i couldn’t look past your eyes.

so warm. even the sun yearns to bask in them.

sick. sick. sick. how i would have waited for you to take another bite. then another. another. devour me whole. all hunger is, is love.

and i hope you’re hungry, dear darling.

“you have always been like this?”

“no.” yes.

oh, how i would pray to get sick, so my mother would take care of me.]

fatima aamer bilal, ‘all hunger is, is love’ from the heart beats for two.

I'm thinking of you again

Your warm touch on my skin

The way your hand completely envelops mine

Your hugs

Your eyes

Your hands

I've forgotten other things

How you smell

Your smirk that was reserved just for me

The way your knuckles brushed against mine

I cannot remember how you feel against me anymore

I am trying to move on

And I'm trying to be a person that makes you proud

But fuck, Alex, I'd be lying if I said I didn't love you anymore

---

For the love sick fuckers out there that are missing someone, I'm right there with you. Thank you for being my everything Alex. Maybe we'll meet again soon

And this just fits the vibe right now

To the girl I once loved:

You made my heart float above the highest trees,

Your laughter was more beautiful than the heavenly chorus,

Your eyes shine like the sun itself,

You never let anything bring you down, and you inspired me to do the same,

You may not be beautiful by the world’s standards but you’re beautiful to me,

You taught me what the feeling of truly loving someone is like,

You learned I was trans and you embraced it,

I loved you so, so much, but you didn’t love me back;

You forced me to leave how to mend a broken heart,

For you left mine in pieces and kicked me aside,

You couldn’t accept that I loved someone like you,

You learned I loved you and you left me,

I miss you each and every day,

I know you could never love someone like me,

Someone who wasn’t born a male,

But I will always love you!

I'm still not over my crush. 😭

My late night thoughts

Have always been you.

Even though you do not care or love me,

My late night thoughts

Have always been you.

awm