Tw: Sh

Tw: sh

Strong urge to cut open my lip. Also the rest of my skin, but mostly just my lip. I also want to sew myself back together after I rip myself apart. Like, literally.

I am so confused?

Ugly sobbing because of the kids series I've been rewatching...

Me normally watching a YouTube video: :)

The video being about someone with my deadname: what the fuckk??? ○_○

Tw: sh

Was just thinking about cutting open my chest and stomach and seeing the blood run out of me.

Really wanted to do it but I know taht I shouldn't so I tried finding reasons not to.

I couldn't find anything and cried into my hoodie and then BAM!

I remembered that I was wearing his t-shirt and it still smells like him and I just cuddled into it and cried and tried to calm myself.

It kinda worked, I didn't relapse yet

I miss him. I'm also crying. But I don't think it's because I miss him? Maybe it is? Maybe I just don't want it to be?

I want to text him. I want to text him please. But I don't want to be too much. I don't want to be too much again.

I don't know what to do. I can't breath. I can't fucking breath anymore. I want him to hug and hold me.

I need to breath again. Please?

I want to text him.

I miss him.

Tw: sh and suicide

I'm gonna fucking cry. I am so sad and lonely and alone and hormonal.

I don't want to exist anymoreeeee.

I miss feeling whole. I miss sleeping. I miss everything.

Why do I feel so empty? Why do I need to cut myself open to feel whole? Why? WHYY?