Not Exactly A "BPD Culture Is" Ask, But More So An Open Discussion

Not exactly a "BPD culture is" ask, but more so an open discussion

Does anyone else with BPD sometimes feel like they don't have a grip on their reality? With all of the splitting, having no perception of myself outside of how others see me, and being able to completely flip my opinions on things in an instant, a lot of times I feel like I have no idea what's real or not. What's actually happening or what's just in my mind.

Do any other BPD havers feel like this too?

We can relate to this! 🙋

- iris 🌸

(CW: GENDER DYSPHORIA AND SUICIDE)

I fucking hate being trans so much it physically hurts.

I will never be able to wear clothing without feeling uncomfortable about it because my boobs still show under them, I can't sign any fucking papers without crying about having to put my fucking dead name, and it doesn't matter how many times I correct people, nobody will see me as a "real boy" and I fucking hate it.

If God really does exist, I fucking hate him for doing this to me. In fact I'm glad he doesn't because I would start throwing hands right the fuck now, fuck him honestly

I know damn well there's gonna be people telling me "but I believe you're a real boy 🥺", and to those motherfuckers, this ain't about you, so I don't wanna hear it here.

And the fucked up part: I don't think I'll be able to turn 18 given my mental health and the situation I'm in regarding therapy, so I'm practically stuck like this until i finally kill myself from the stress of just being alive. It's fucking hell for me.

I don't care if this comes off as "rude" or me " overreacting" or any of that shit, I can't take it anymore. I just need to get this off my chest.

That's all.

I feel so fucking disconnected from reality atp i don't know what to do anymore

Going from the most happy you've felt in months straight to the worst you've felt in years is going to fucking kill me.

I can't stand this shit anymore. Why can't I have normal feelings? Why do I have to feel the most extreme emotions?

Sometimes it is my fault sometimes I am a horrible person

You say our relationship is in limbo but you don’t give me anyway to fix it. Please tell me how to fix fp otherwise I just might have to end it. I just don’t want to do this anymore. Please let me fix.