Avpd - Tumblr Posts
people with ‘scary’ and ‘weird’ mental issues i love you.
i love schizophrenics. i love psychotic people, i love people on the schizospectrum, i love people with DID and OSDD, i love people with NPD, i love people with PPD, i love people with SPD, i love people with ASPD, i love people with personality disorders, i love people who hallucinate, people who have delusions, and people who have paranoia. i love people who are mentally ill in ways that are viewed as strange and scary by society.
it is not your fault that you struggle. you are valid. you are deserving of care and you are deserving of love. your issues do not negate any of that.
I do a lot of research into personality and lately I’ve been wondering what the most diagnosed and under diagnosed personality disorder is. Some say the most diagnosed is either BPD or OCPD (OCPD is the most diagnosed in the USA apparently).
I’d like to know others opinion on this.
The person we talk the most to is to ourselves. Most thoughts we might not even share with others. So be a good companion to yourself, don’t put yourself down, don’t judge yourself for every little thing. Be easy with yourself and you will be easier with others and more pleasant to have around.
Sereno Sky, author of the Hippie novel “Lonely Traveller” (via hippieseurope)
In general, people are not drawn to perfection in others. People are drawn to shared interests, shared problems, and an individual’s life energy. Humans connect with humans. Hiding one’s humanity and trying to project an image of perfection makes a person vague, slippery, lifeless, and uninteresting
Robert Glover, No More Mr. Nice Guy: A Proven Plan for Getting What You Want in Love, Sex, and Life (via psych-facts)
Not causing harm requires staying awake. Part of being awake is slowing down enough to notice what we say and do. The more we witness our emotional chain reactions and understand how they work, the easier it is to refrain. It becomes a way of life to stay awake, slow down, and notice.
Pema Chödrön (via silent-mindfulness)
I’ve stopped being sorry for all my soft. I won’t apologize because I miss you, or because I said it, or because I text you first, or again. I think everyone spends too much time trying to close themselves off. I don’t want to be cool or indifferent, I want to be honest.
Azra.T “Don’t Wait Three Days to Text First.”
Listen, all you folks out there with AvPD: you’re amazing.
Every day, against all odds, you show up on my dash.
You live in a world that has taught you to feel unwanted, defective, unseen. But you keep on existing anyway.
You’re all warriors. And you are beautifully fierce.
Don’t listen to the voices – those around you, or within you – that say you’re weak or incapable. You aren’t. Because every single day, you are here, fighting and winning. Even in the moments that feel empty and unnameable, you are learning and growing and gathering strength.
I see you collecting these little things that feed your soul. Assembling the tools you need, for the hard work of staying alive and being well.
You are astonishing, and brave, and powerful. Someday, you’ll carve out a life where you can finally become yourself.
You are real. You matter. And you’re not alone.
avpd communication style
I don’t think there’s any one avpd communication style, but there are trends I see, and all of these amount to avoidance. Over a person’s lifetime, the way they communicate may change to adapt to their situation. Of course, this is just my personal experience plus what I’ve heard from other people with avpd.
Many of us have a flat affect. That means we have trouble expressing emotions with our faces, gestures, and body langauge. Someone speaking with us might think we’re callous, uninterested, shy, not paying attention, or even out of it. Most of the time, that’s not the case. Most of the time, we’re not especially aware of it. I know there have been many times when I’ve thought I’ve been smiling or emoting, only to catch myself in a mirror or something and my face is expressionless. My flat affect is less intense around my Safe People (people I’m less symptomatic with), but it’s still there.
Masking is something many avoidants do, similar to other neurodivergent people. For people with avpd, we often have to create a persona or character that we use for this purpose. When we do, we try to tailor this persona to what we believe the person or people we’re talking to expects from us and what would please them. This can start in childhood with a parent who won’t accept a child having certain emotions, opinions, or traits. It can be reinforced by a workplace where a certain demeanour is expected. If a person with avpd finds themself (usually without wanting to) carrying this into personal relationships, it can become a wall between that person and their friends.
Performance is often an important survival tactic of people with avpd. Because we sense danger and rejection everywhere, we create a performance to avoid it, whether that is in performing a lack of feeling/reaction or in creating a character that mirrors the desires of who we’re speaking to. I believe this is because most of us have gone through a sustained trauma early on that we could only survive by using these tactics, and now they are part of who we are. We’re often not doing these things by choice. In addition, people with avpd have a persistent underlying fear that if people really knew the totality of who we are, they would hate or reject us.
When we do realise how we’re putting barriers between ourselves and other people, and we want to start making efforts to make more genuine, vulnerable connections with people we like, we often ask testing questions or show very small parts of ourselves to guage whether a person will like us before we really start to let our guard down, and that can take a very long time for us. Through this process, we start to see if a potential friend is closer to being a Safe or Scary person, and it’s at this point that we decide we can be a more authentic version of ourselves or a performance.
I’ve often found myself in friendships where the “me” my new friend knows is a performance. It makes me uncomfortable, and I feel like it’s not fair to the friend, so I cut things off. That can come as a shock to people trying to get to know me, but in the past, I’ve carried on longterm friendships where I was performing. This is a painful experience for me, making me feel invisible, crushed, and more isolated.
It may be difficult for neurotypical people (and even some other ND people) to understand the ways that we communicate. I think one of the most important things to remember is that our desire to connect with people is always at odds with fear, and much of the time, continuous reassurance helps us win that fight with fear.
We don’t always win, though, and sometimes the words or feelings won’t come out. That doesn’t mean we’re afraid of the person we’re talking to. It means that we’re afraid of very personal parts of ourselves being revealed to be appraised (and possibly rejected) by other people.
superiority complex npds and inferiority complex avpds
:33 < can we stop with the "oh if youre cringge ? just be yourself !! doont let people judge you !!" speech alterhuman community ? ihave avpd and it really shows yall do not think once about the fact that people could literally be disabled and not able to not let people judge them because yall just assume feeling fear because of judgement is a "silly little thing" and "just being yourself can fix it !!"